PLEASE I need people's opinion

[StressedButBlessedx]

Hi, so..

Long story short, my first labour with my daughter was absolutely HORRENDOUS to put it lightly. From an episiotomy without being numbed, to haemorrhaging, blood up walls etc.. basically everything that could've gone wrong went wrong and left me with an agonising fear of a natural birth again.

I'm now pregnant again and due on Feb 3rd and I really really don't know if I should push for an elective c-section... OR be induced like last time and hope for a better experience.

Has anybody been in the same boat as me and had to make the same decision? Obviously I have more to think about this time, like, which choice will fit in better looking after a 2.5 year old? Which will I recover from mentally quicker? (Postpartum previously was agonising and quite unbearable for a couple months).

Sorry for the long post. I just don't have anyone around me who has had to make a similar decision.

Thankyou!

@TrivialSoul

My first was a traumatic birth with unexpected complications for baby and myself and it left me with physical pain and crippling fear of giving birth again. My second however was out in 2 pushes and home in a matter of hours. They are all different but remember that a happy mum = happy baby so do whatever feels best and safest for you, your partner and your situation.

Thankyou:)

The thing is, it’s the outcome not the journey that is important for the child involved in childbirth. A safe delivery of a healthy baby.

For the mother, the ‘journey’ of childbirth is important in so much as it shouldn’t be traumatic a d dangerous to your own health.

In your case, OP, I can’t see what advantage putting yourself through an induction would give to either you or baby.

Plus - you’re already a mother of one child. So they need you to be safe and healthy too.

If you felt really strongly that a vaginal birth was crucial then that would be a different issue. But for me, I’d go ELCS based on the above (& I say this as the crunchiest lentil-weaving advocate of natural birth and low intervention who planned home births for all my DC).

Good luck with whatever you decide - I do think birth debriefs can be really useful so talk it all through as much as you need to.

If you know you have to be induced then I'd go for an elective c-section. I'm the most pro-'natural' birth person possible but induction is not natural.

I had a traumatic first birth with induction, episiotomy and forceps in the end and a very painful recovery which took months. When pregnant with my second I had a debrief and counselling as I was very worried about a repeat. I too considered an elective c section but in the end managed to have a very different experience in the midwife led unit. Even though it didn't go entirely to plan and I still had a haemorrhage, overall it was ultimately very healing. I was always clear though that I wouldn't be induced again as for me that was the start of feeling out of control and not heard. I think make the best decision for you and take time to reflect on your feelings from the previous birth.

@NoSquirrels

The thing is, it’s the outcome not the journey that is important for the child involved in childbirth. A safe delivery of a healthy baby.

For the mother, the ‘journey’ of childbirth is important in so much as it shouldn’t be traumatic a d dangerous to your own health.

In your case, OP, I can’t see what advantage putting yourself through an induction would give to either you or baby.

Plus - you’re already a mother of one child. So they need you to be safe and healthy too.

If you felt really strongly that a vaginal birth was crucial then that would be a different issue. But for me, I’d go ELCS based on the above (& I say this as the crunchiest lentil-weaving advocate of natural birth and low intervention who planned home births for all my DC).

Good luck with whatever you decide - I do think birth debriefs can be really useful so talk it all through as much as you need to.

Very true

The pros 100% outweigh the cons for being induced though. The last thing I want is for my body to react to going into labour naturally by having a seizure. There's so so many risks of this from falling onto my stomach, to baby's heart rate dropping and being 40 mins from a hospital to intervene. If I could have this another way I absolutely would.

Thankyou for your kind words and encouragement, it's nice to hear x

Hiya I had a similar experience to you with my first birth. I went natural with my second altho a c section did seem appealing the recovery isn't.
I found the labour to be very different the second time a lot more relaxing. They monitored me closely for blood loss as they knew my first experience was as such. I felt in good hands and if they thought things were looking rough I would have an emergency c section. It's ur body tho and it's ur choice..

Thankyou for your replies! I am reading them all :) x

Given what you’ve said about the epilepsy, on top of your first traumatic birth, I’d definitely say go for the election section. And I say that as someone whose main fear around pregnancy and birth was potentially needing a Caesarian! (Huge needle phobia, couldn’t cope with the idea of an epidural.)

My first birth was traumatic. Second was very fast. Totally different. It's a very personal choice

Hi, I totally get how you feel op. I had my ds three years ago and the birth was so traumatic. I had 3 days of back to back labour, throwing up, waters broken in hospital, epidural, episiotomy, forceps, a cut artery, haemorrhaging with a 3 litre blood loss and a blood transfusion! I felt so ill for weeks after and suffered from ptsd. Also had PND and severe anxiety.
You'd think after all that it would have put me off but oh no, I had dd in July. I was petrified throughout the second pregnancy after what happened last time and was classed as high risk due to the blood loss. However, it was such a different experience. Went into labour at 6pm, my dd was born at 10.15am the next morning (I call that a short labour after 3 days with ds!) I managed on just a little bit of gas and air in the middle, nothing else, and dd was born totally naturally, and weighing in at 9lbs too!!
I don't think my consultant would have encouraged a c section for me as there's a higher risk of more blood loss and obviously we wanted to avoid that second time around as my previous blood loss had been so great. I was pleasantly surprised how I recovered much quicker second time around.
I understand that considerations you need to make with your epilepsy too. My mum is epileptic and had seizures whilst pregnant with me, but in those days (34 years ago), I'm not sure they monitored it as closely as they would now. I think a c section would ha e been better for her if it had been offered.
Wishing you all the best for whatever you decide and a much more positive experience second time around. Take care. X

The pros 100% outweigh the cons for being induced though. The last thing I want is for my body to react to going into labour naturally by having a seizure.

Oh god - absolutely! No way should you risk a natural labour, of course not.

So if your choice is induction or ELCS, I’d go ELCS. Because you’ll know up front the day, what will happen, risks & recovery time etc.

Induction means so much that’s up in the air - you’ll know the day but that’s about it.

Obviously childbirth is a very personal choice but your choice is curtailed by your condition so that’s a major factor.

Have a C-section.
There's no medal for giving birth vaginally.

There's zero point in spending the rest of your pg stressing out and feeling worried & scared.
I know far too many people who spent ages agonising over choices, went for a V birth after a tough birth or EMCS but ended up with complications and another EMCS anyway.
They all regretted not chosing an ELSC.

Obviously every birth is unique and a past experience usually has zero impact on how the next birth will go, so just because the first one was traumatic it doesn't mean the 2nd can't be much easier!
But opting for an ELSC is a perfectly valid choice and you have every right to get one.

(And I say this as someone who had foreceps delivery with #1, ELSC with #4 because baby was footling breech.
Then I desperately wanted to avoid another C-section for last 3 and got lucky because everything went well each time. In a way I had the best experience with #6, no stitches were needed. But I had more compelling reason to try VBACs and if I'd had good reasons to opt for ELSCs I would have, in a heaetbeat!)

@NoSquirrels

in fact induction day means nothing is certain at all!
I was supposed to be induced with DS2 on a Thursday evening but for various reasons I had to wait for over 48 hours for 2nd dose of the pessary thing.

And in fact occasionally an ELSC date can change too. With DS4 we were booked in on a Monday, I should have had op by 10am (2nd in queue) but after they delivered the baby before us all hell broke lose because they had back to back emergencies for the next 5 hours!!!
Having waited from 7am stilll in foyer, at 2pm they finally admitted that we have to reschedule.
we went back 3 days later and we got delayed again so much because it got busy again by lunch time I was about to have a nervous breakdown.
I was first in line for 9am, they finally wheeled me into theatre just past 3pm (he was delivered within the hour).

You just never know....

DC1 epi, episiotomy, ventouse
DC2 epi, same way as DC1 ventouse required
DC3 nothing, did it so-called ''natural'' - Big Mistake. Huge.

I really wish I had had an ELSC. I would not have had the trauma and injuries I sustained trying for a natural birth to make up for the first two being so dire. I felt responsible for the vacuum births when I shouldn't have. A section might carry its own risks and the recovery might have been slower but not sure it could be anything worse than what I endured with the birth of DC3. If I had contemplated a fourth child insanity being repeating the same thing expecting a different result I would have had a section, no question.

I was traumatised after my first birth. It was horrendous and ended in a c section after all the trauma anyway. Second time I had an elective c section at the first sign of a contraction and it was the most pleasant and reasonable experience. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Yes the recovery is not great but it never is if a vaginal birth is also traumatic.

C-section all the way. Good luck.

My first birth was horrendous very traumatic and recovery was very tough. My second could not have been more different- she came 6 weeks early before I really had time to write my birth plan but my body just took over and it really was healing despite how terrifying it was to have a premature baby

I would definitely go for an elective section over an induction, especially after a traumatic induction before

If nothing else it will reduce your anxiety about the birth. I have a few friends who have had electives and they said it was calm and stress free - much different to the emergency sections and traumatic high intervention births they had first time round.

@StressedButBlessedx

DS was born by Csection - I was induced - labour was very prolonged and did not work . I remember my lovely doctor saying ( and she showed me her 3 boys in a photograph ) do not worry how the child is born just get them out the best way you can . So I would vote for a planned CS - just make sure you plan for some help afterwards as I was advised not to drive for some weeks and not to lift heavy things.

It may amuse you than many years ago I went to a gym & the lovely young chap doing the initial session said have you had an operation or anything like that. - "Yes CS " I had a shortish top on and he said - well where is the scar - I think he thought they cut you open from neck to ribs - bless him.

When I had my Cs which was technically emergency the doctors were talking about their motorbikes - Mine was with an epidural & it was fine - weird tugging sensation but absolutely no pain whatsoever ever and I have never once thought I am a lesser mother because not a Vb - You do what you do to get the baby about the best way you can - but that is just my opinion.

All best wishes to you

Given your epilepsy- an elective section sounds an awful lot safer than any labour.

Talk to your midwife - absolutely push for it / involve your GP if that helps. Your understandable anxiety isn’t going to help either.

Just look after yourself afterwards- it’s still major surgery and not a ‘light’ option.
(That’s not even good English, but I think you’ll know what I mean).

Also - you may have said (I can’t see) - but with your medical history surely you are under direct care of a Consultant/ specialist team.

Your pregnancy and birth need extra care, and if that’s not happening someone needs to be pushing for it.

I wouldn’t push for induction, that’s where the problems can start, forcing a labour.
All of my births were different and I’d just go with it and see what happens, but if it’s going yo cause you stress the whole pregnancy, ask for a section.

Having had an awful first birth like yourself, my second couldn't have been more textbook. And I have a history of PPH etc.
My third was a section. And it's not easy, nor is the recovery.

But. Knowing what I know now having had three very very different births, if you have to be induced - I would go 100% go for a section without hesitation.

Not saying that it's the easy option, it's not at all. But definitely seems to be the safest for you and baby.

Wow, thank you everyone for the replies! They've all been so helpful and helped me come to a decision for a controlled, ELCS☺️

Hurrah!!
So happy for you. I hope that now you can relax a bit.
All the best and do come back to update us, if you can! ❤

@StressedButBlessedx

Wow, thank you everyone for the replies! They've all been so helpful and helped me come to a decision for a controlled, ELCS☺️

That's great. Given your medical history I wouldn't be surprised if the consultants didn't suggest it anyway.

Be aware you might not have a confirmed date until a bit later in pregnancy though. Most people I know, knew they'd have their section in a particular week but not the date until much closer to the time.