Staying at home as long as you can - any tips?

[MrsMcJnr]

Ladies I'm a first timer, 32 weeks and am just "thinking" about the birth. Having done my hospital tour, I am keen to stay at home when in labour as long as I can and preferably until I am 7 or 8cms - any one have any tips? any way of knowing that you are getting further ahead aside from the length of contractions and the time in between?

TENS!

When I went in I was told on the phone I would be probably sent home again as contractions were irregular and at best 5 mins apart. Went in then, I was 9cm dilated and had ds less than 2 and a half hours later. So I'm suspicious of the time between contractions rule.

Yup, TENS are great.

Dim lights, keep yourself warm, keep your energy levels up (chocolate brownies ). While it's useful to be active remember it could be a long while so rest in between contractions.

Unfortunately how you feel about your contractions varies a great deal from woman to woman. Typically if you cannot talk and have to hang off something/kneel/squat during a contraction you are probably more than a couple of cm, but beyond that it's hard to notice a difference until you reach transition.

In transition many people notice a difference of mood: I started to get panicy and feel sick - it wasn't until after that I realised why that was happening - some people find contractions stop and they can have a rest (lucky cows!)

Another guideline that hospitals used to work to was about an hour for each cm once labour was well established (ie once you start with the 'can't talk through 'em' contractions). It must be said that is a really unreliable rule, particularly for first time mothers, but if you want a gross average it might give you some guidance.

How far from the hospital are you?

ooh another great tip - MN in early labour
seriously
Keeps your mind off it and you get loads of lovely people chatting to you and reassuring you

Thanks for the quick responses

I am planning to hire a TENS machine

SPB ? that?s my ideal, turn up at 9cms! I?ve just heard so many stories of friends having contractions 5 mins apart for a minute or longer for an hour and longer only for them to stop/ease up in the car and to be told at hospital that they are only 2cms MN is a great plan too.

Gizmo ? good advice ? when the first contractions start (if it is daytime) I?ll aim to make brownies! We are about 20 mins from the hospital.

Oh I did go in on the Thursday morning (had DS on Friday afternoon) to be told I was 1cm dilated and it could be weeks yet

It's really hard to judge, I'm afraid. And not just with your first...

Here's a little story: with DS1 I was determined to do as you wish. So when contractions started at 11pm I just hunkered down and got on with it, all through the night. TENS machine on, so the contractions were painful but bearable. Still they were really regular all through the night and by 1pm the next day I thought I must have a good chance of being well advanced.

When I got to the hospital I was 3 cm. I could have cried. Eventually DS1 was born at 3am the next morning, after a syntocinin drip to strengthen contractions and an epidural.

Anyhooo - fast forward 4 years to DS2 and pregnant me waking up at 5 am for a pee. Midway through the pee realised I wasn't going to be going back to bed. The contractions were widely spaced for a couple of hours (to let me make breakfast and inflate the birthpool I guess) but really started to motor at 8am. And they felt exactly like the early stages of labour from 4 years before.

Because I was having DS2 at home I thought it best to be cautious and called the hospital at 9.30 to ask for a midwife to come and check me. Bear in mind that at this point I was in the birthpool and all set up for at least another 6 hours of labour. The midwife arrived at 10.30 and DS2 arrived at 11.30, only 30 minutes after it had dawned on me that actually I was a long way along and it was too late to ask for gas and air . It appears I don't learn from experience and more to the point, that rather like it's hard to tell how seriously you've broken your leg, it's tricky to tell how far along you are in labour once it gets going.

LOL I see what you mean I'd really prefer a birth like your second one if someone could arrange that for me

lol, my experience not too dissimilar to stealthpolarbear's (we seem to run into each other a lot, don't we? [winl])

My waters broke, contractions began and within an hour were 4mins apart. Called the MW who said, go back to bed, so we did, there was a HUUGE gush of water, we called again, she was, "oh alright spose you better come in let us have a look at you," -- turned out I was 4cms (this was about 1.5hrs after first contraction!)

labour progressed steadily for 7hrs after that. I didn't have any TENS (long story) but did have some gas, which I gave up after about 1/2 an hour because I wanted to concentrate. I found it very encouraging to have someone tell me, every hour or so, that's another centimeter gone!

oh fhs, I'm not winling at SPB, I'm ing at her!

when you are zoning out,not wanting to be disturbed ,needing to concentrate, needing to close your eyes and give it some serious attention, probably time to get to the hospital... to get to that point at home , i;d not really concentrate on early labour, i;d potter, cook, rest, MNet, have a bath , do whatever i felt like, then try to stay upright, active and mobile when it got a bit more hardcore, and wait to get to teh zoning out bit !! make sure your DH knows your plan and how to tell if things are progressing

MNet MNet MNet
but let lulumama know in advance so she can come and knit and rock on your "is this it?" thread. I found that very reassuring!
[winl] back at you phd, or is that just something in my eye?

Hmm, with Ds1 I lost my waters at about 9pm, went straight to hospital in a panic, and did have contractions from the minute we got there (about 15 minute drive). (Done in 5).
They went on all night, basically, I could have gone in later but I was having them every few minutes so it would have been scary and painful at home. Had epidural when I was about 5 hours into it. I had baby at nearly 5am. It was all pretty easy as far as I recall.

Second baby, planned but then really not wanted home birth!!! Started at 7am, on MN straight away , MW got here about 8.30 and I was 4cm. Transition around 9.30 - 10, after having Ctx every 3 minutes or so. No chance to transfer anywhere, in a right old panic as well, I was such a wuss!
Had baby at 10.30 after 30 mins pushing that shoulda been 15, but he was a stargazer..

Bled heavily and nearly blue lighted, but not needed in the end.

I would hesitate again because we are 45 longggg minutes from the hospital, and I was very, very scared at the end!!!

Birth ball. Really good.

It is anybodys guess IMO how far dilated you will be at any point. When DD was born in June, I had contractions for about 7 hours before going in and they were 3 mins apart- I wanted to stay at home as long a possible. On the way into hospital DH and I were taking bets- I thought at that point I would be 4-5 cm, but wanted to go in just in case I was further on. DH thought I would be 1 cm and we were going in too early. Well, the moment of truth and the MW revealed that...I was not dilated at all, and the cervix was only starting to efface. The contractions were every 3 mins though and v painful, and the MW thought we'd have our babbie by the morning, so we stayed in, and DD was born just (!) 36 hours after getting to the hospital.

In retrospect we chose the right time to go in, would have been v frightened to stay at home as would have constantly thought birth could be imminent, little did I know....do what makes you feel comfortable, if you feel like its time to go in, go in, and you can always go back home.

I found using a birth ball really good too.

To be honest, I think its really hard to tell how far you are along. I went to the hospital cause I'd passed some clots (sorry if TMI) cause they wanted to check things out. Contractions were very mild and 5 min apart, I didn't think I was in active labour- turned out I was 7.5cm dilated.

(the last 2.5cm took 13 hours and were v. painful but that's another story)

I think you just have to go in when you think you are ready - and accept that you may be too early. Its quite rare to be too late, esp. w. the first one, so unless you are a long way from the hospital, I wouldn't worry too much about that.

If you choose the right hospital, like me, you can get one that tells you "it's too early" and to stay at home when your contractions are 3 minutes apart, and then when you ring them half an hour later to tell them you're coming in cos they're now 1 minute on 1 minute off... they tell you they've just closed the ward. That means you get to stay at home a bit longer while you search for a map to find another hospital... Thoroughly recommend it if you want to get to hospital with minutes to spare.

Good luck, btw!

having a bath and keeping upright helped me stay at home even though i was in some serious pain with dd2, i was 5cm when i went in and had her 1 3/4 hrs later so im glad i went when i did.

with dd1 i was scared of the whole labour thing and though it would happen really quickly (i wish) so went in earlier then i needed to, i was 3 cm and dd was born 9 hr later.

staying at home is definitly the way forward as for when to go in i would say when you cant walk or talk through contractions or if you get any feeling of pressure (this was what i got just before dd2 was born) it is nice to be able to settle yourself in your birthing room as well though i dont think i would want to leave it so late that i was rushed in and had hte baby straight away.

LOL Ladymixalot ? what a nightmare! Bet it took your mind off the contractions though!

Thank you all so much when the contractions start I?ll get on here and chat it through but it sounds like you all really knew when you needed to go in and that can be at different stages depending on the labour you are having

Like others have said, TENS

And also listen to your birth partner...in my case I'd been in labour for two hours, the contractions started 5 mins apart 1 hour after my waters broke and my dh said "We can go to the hospital if you like you know"

Then 20 mins later "I really think it would be a good idea to go the hospital now"

And all the while I was thinking "But they'll only tell me to go back home I'm not even 2 cms dilated! I'm a frist time mum I've got another 10 hours of this yet! Stupid man." But we went in, with me gurning over the back seat of the car like a mad woman.

DS arrived 1 hr after getting to hospital. DH says what gave him the desperate urge to drive me the 20 miles to the hospital was me mooing like a cow and doing a strange little movement like a snake with my neck.

So stick your tens on and if you're so "in the zone" you're mooing and snaking, get yer butt to the hosp.

Good luck!

Also, use your partner. I found the biggest pain relief in the early stages of labour was to put my arms around my dp's neck and semi hang off him. In that position he could apply counterpressure to the base of my spine and it really helped, plus the hugs were really reassuring and the best thing you can do to speed labour along is relax and not panic.

That and lying on my left side in a hot bath, but make sure your partner is around and awake in case you can't lift yourself out again (things can speed up fast) or if you're alone, unlock the front door and take a cordless/mobile phone.

Also, do what your body tells you to do. If it feels good to lean on the kitchen worktop, do it. Your body knows best.

I dont really have any tips for you MrsMcJnr but just a word of warning. With my first, DH was talking to the midwife on the phone, describing what I was doing, how close the contractions were etc (very close) and the Midwife told us to hot foot it to the hospital which we did. In the car I was writhing around, mooing just like Minkus and also making very strange faces apparently. We got through the hospital door and Bang!!! it all stopped! It seems that my fear of the hospital and of giving birth was so strong that it caused my body to just halt the whole process (this was the description given by the two midwives on duty at the time). DS was born about 17 hours later.

I had DD at home 4 years later - the whole experience couldn't have been more different and was a sheer delight.

I really hope your experience is more like my second MrsMcJnr - good luck

But take warning from me. Think about how long it will take you to get to hospital. We did, but bizarrely it didn't cross our minds that ds would choose to come in the rush hour! Home to hospital - 15 minutes at 11 am - nearly an hour at 8.00am!

Made the hospital with less that 20 minutes to spare - ds was nearly born in the car park of Canterbury police station!

Hi MrsMcJnr - I remember chatting to you a little on a couple of conception threads. Well done you and best of luck!

I have a few words of warning though (not wanting to scare you though). Firstly, IME when you're late on in labour you really really don't want to be going anywhere - seriously. I couldn't even move after about 6 cm. Contractions in a constrained position (like a car, or a bath) can be particularly painful. I would really consider getting yourself to the hospital a fair bit earlier than you're suggesting.

Secondly, don't beat yourself up if you do feel you have to go to hospital and you're not very far dilated when you get there. Some people have really strong contractions right from the start. I got to the not being able to walk/talk stage when I was only around 3 cm and it stayed pretty much at the same level the whole time.

I had previously thought I wanted to stay at home for as long as I possibly could. However, when it came to it I was amazed to find that I wanted to go in quite early on. This was partly because TENS wasn't working for me and partly to ensure I could grab the birth pool before someone else took it.

Anyhow, hope I haven't put you off. Hope it all goes well for you.

With ds1 I laboured mostly at home, using tens and lots of power walking round the house.

Don't leave it too late going in, if you intend to have anything more powerful than G&A.