Hi all, calming or positive vibes this way please!
Had my son 3.5 years ago, ideally I wanted to give birth on the MLU (typical first time mum pool birth low intervention dream plan!) but went two weeks overdue so was told I could no longer give birth on the midwife unit and was cajoled into accepting induction. The actual induction itself went pretty straight forward (just needed pessary to start contractions, my waters broke spontaneously etc). However I hated being an inpatient beforehand (there was no option for outpatient induction back then). I was bored to death waiting for 12 hours before they could start induction, then bored whilst wandering around trying to get things going and then due to other women screaming in the bay I was in I literally got 2 hours sleep before my own labour kicked in and was subsequently terrified having listened to others screaming about how unbearable it all was. During my labour I felt like my birth plan wishes were completely ignored even when there was no risk element to justify it - eg being examined repeatedly against my express wish not to be as I was fully dilated, progressed well and was pushing, I was told I had to be hooked up to monitors as that was just the way it was done in obstetrics so couldn't be active etc. Felt like all control had been taken from me and it was deeply unpleasant. I only had G&A as they kept telling me I could go to the one pool room on the obstetrics unit as soon as it became available (this was never followed through on) so long story short after 19 hours in labour I ended up in theatre having forceps and an episiotomy. I have big periods of the birth that I can't remember, it affected my bond with my child and I then had a complicated physical recovery due to episiotomy healing issues so had to have weekly laser treatment and was unable to walk normally for 10 weeks afterwards. The whole thing was utterly traumatising for me and put me off trying for a second child for two years longer than we'd originally planned.
Fast forward and after a debrief with a senior midwife I was reassured that a second time around I could have one of three options - to still go to 42 weeks but to be supported to give birth on the MLU, to accept induction but have it as an outpatient, or to have a planned c sec.
With that in mind my journey this time has been...
Discovered at 12 weeks that I have very marginally low PAPP-A (which I likely did with my son too but they didn't test PAPP-A levels 4 years ago). This means going over 40 weeks is not an option my hospital is willing to support. So at 16 weeks they booked me in for a planned c sec scheduled for tomorrow when I'll be 39+5 as per the recognition that I very much wanted to avoid my experience of last time, this has enabled me to remain calm as I had some certainty and security about it all. Had my pre-op appointment 3 days ago and after doing my bloods and scan etc it was suddenly decided that based on my reasoning alone it was "insane" for me to have an elective c sec when induction worked so well on paper last time, so I've been booked in for induction tomorrow instead. And the absolute cherry on the cake is that due to my low PAPP-A I can't have an outpatient induction and due to covid my husband can't be with me until I'm in established labour.
My logical brain knows when it's all over and done with I won't care about how she came out, only that she did and is healthy. My emotional brain is absolutely panic central about seemingly being in the one situation I was so utterly desperate not to repeat, and I have the added concern that as I'm technically giving birth 3 weeks earlier than last time that the induction process itself won't be so straightforward either. (The midwife I saw on Saturday said it's fine as they'll just give me the drip and break my waters for me, at which point I broke down in tears as the drip is just a whole new level of things I want to avoid!) 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ Plus I've spent the last 14 weeks with a relative degree of certainty that I wouldn't be going through labour again, so I feel utterly unprepared for it! I think the crux is that after last time I needed to feel like I had some level of say or control over how this is planned (bear in mind I wanted to either just leave things and go for an MLU birth or to have a planned extraction, so I was basically open to anything other than induction!) and it feels like I was told I would have a say but the reality is all control is being taken away again.
Really sorry for that huge ramble, essentially please give me some hope of straight forward pre-due date inductions / good drip experiences when combined with epidurals maybe?? Thank you x