Apologies for the long post. I've never posted before. I'd be so grateful to hear your thoughts particularly if you've experienced difficulties healing from an episiotomy or tear.
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant and trying to decide whether to attempt another vaginal birth or have an elcs.
My first birth 2 years ago was via emergency forceps, my baby went into distress following a drip induction at 39 weeks as my waters broke prematurely. I had poor pain relief, largely my own fault for not requesting an epidural early enough, but also through bad luck as it turns out I am intolerant to gas and air (vomiting and fever) and I was too slow to request an epidural, and it then took three attempts for one to work, the first was somehow inserted wrongly. DS was born with facial nerve paralysis, severe jaundice, and an infection. He did eventually recover from the paralysis, however, at the time, we were warned he may not and I found this incredibly upsetting - his face drooped on one side and one eye wouldn’t close. I had a haemorrhage from the forceps, multiple small cuts and grazes, and an episiotomy. I was severely traumatised by the whole event, and don’t remember it clearly, other than the pain and shock. It felt like I had been in a bad car crash or similar. I didn’t really sleep the entire 9 days we were in hospital.
My episiotomy stitches came apart on day 2 or 3 and from then on were ‘gaping’. The pain was excruciating, to the point I could not sit for many weeks. Going to the toilet was awful. After 3 or so weeks, the wound became infected. After antibiotics, it did eventually heal but it took several more weeks before I could sit. I was told the wound would ‘granulate’ to form ‘a sort of pocket’. Sex was very painful for 14 months. I felt utterly broken for a long time.
My gut feeling this time is that I would like an elcs, because above all else I want to avoid another traumatic birth and I would struggle mentally so badly if I had a similar experience. I do not want another child born in severe pain with birth injuries.
The consultant who was lovely said they will support me whatever birth option I choose, but that it is likely the second birth would probably be fine vaginally. She said because my wound gapes the birth would in fact likely be easier. However, she has never seen me in person, nobody has seen my scar since it healed. I am very concerned about the scar tissue. I can’t see how this would not tear, and I’m terrified of another episiotomy or damage. I am also concerned about a lack of options regarding pain relief were I to choose a vaginal delivery. I can't use gas and air, and I'm worried another epidural would result in another assisted delivery.
What would you do? Apologies again for the rambling.