Discussing the sensations of childbirth

[glasjam]

Hi there didn't know quite what to call this thread - deliberately avoided use of the word "pain" because I know that some women's experience of birth doesn't feel painful - just extremely intense and hard work! I mention my own experience quite graphically so if you don't want to know stop reading now!!

I just ended up having a 2nd CS after going for a Home VBAC. I read every book going on the subject including "Grantly "is it meant to hurt?"Dick Read" Ina May Gaskin's Spiritual Midwifery and Guide to Childbirth, Sheila Kitzinger, Michael Odent (I was going for a waterbirth) and quite a few others. I did Maggie Howell's hypnotherapy for VBAC Cds and prepared myself or so I thought to really go for it. I never once thought that it wouldn't hurt because I thought that that was an unrealistic expectation - I just thought I would be able to go with it and visualise through it and keep positive. I also envisaged a pain coming round my stomach and uterus and maybe round my lower back.

Come the hour though I had a slow and long labour and from the very first sensation I got a shock - the sensation wasn't where I thought it should be - I felt everything in my back-passage - at first I thought I must be constipated and so started glugging down the prune juice - but that didn't alleviate it - all that happened as the labour went on was that these pains came closer and longer but not in a regular fashion -I was on my 3rd nite's lack of sleep when I couldn't take anymore - in over 24hrs I had gone from 4-5cms (and it had taken me over 40 hours to get to 3cms)

Now my baby did end up posterior but wasn't for 80% of the labour - but her head was deflexed and that might have been the case all the way through - could that have caused the sensation I had? I am holding my gorgeous girl in my arms as I write - she's 15 wks old and I just want to say that I enjoyed my labour - I had my partner and a doula we danced around the living room and I had fantastcally supportive midwives - when the pool did nothing for me and I nearly fell off the birthball cos I was nodding off with exhaustion I felt it was my decision to throw in the towel which was very important as a vbac-er.

Months on from the birth I am now thinking was I just a wimp - was this the pain of childbirth that other women get through and cope with and I just couldn't handle it? Or was my pain unusual - do women out there have experience of different labours - one being more painful than others or felt in different places? I have heard some women describe those first contractions as "niggling period- pains" - I never got any of them - it felt full-on painful from the start.

I don't think I could have done anything differently _ I was at home, relaxed, happy, mobile using loads of different positions, birth pool, birth ball and massage and towards the very end gas and air. The only thing I can think of is that I thought at times that "something was wrong" because it felt so odd it never felt like those waves I'd visualised or surges - just accute, stabbing in the back-passage(sorry if this is TMI)- maybe this held me back? I never felt as if the contractions were bringing the baby down. As it was she was deflexed and posterior maybe if I had continued (although I felt I couldn't for another second after 3 days) she would have ended up distressed.

I ended up having a "good" CS - I had that "birth moment" of joy on seeing my little girl and the sweet relief from the pain was ecstasy!! Totally unlike the blind panic and fear of my first emergency CS!

So having had an experience of labour for which I am grateful I would just like to know how other women experienced the sensations? I am also curious as to whether your experiences of period pain resembled your labour sensations in anyway. Personally I have always been lucky on this front never really experiencing much in the way of cramps - although i do often experience the stabbing pain during a bowel movement like the one I had during labour when i have my period.

I'm sorry to have gone on but I am just sooo curious about this issue and thought this would be a good place to ask. Once again I would like to say that although the pain for me personally was too much I am so glad that I went for this homebirth and am glad that I now have at least some experience of the whole labour thang! Thanks.

havent got time to elaborate but just wanted to say it was great to read this - I have had 2 vag births and both all the pain was in the back passage, not what I was expecting at all - was convinced was constipation the first time too. Second made sure had had a good clear out but still extreme pain in that area - worse than first time but very quick thankfully. I also did the natal hypno cds and i cannot possibly see how people can sleep through it or even breathe through it - I had to give birth standing up both times as I couldn't even sit down! All worth it in the end though!

jamila169 I have a medical condition that means I could not have an epidural either (blood clotting disorder)so I do appreciate in come situations it is better or less risky than CS under general. However 2 friends in my NCT class had forceps delivery with no epidural or spinal and I think that is barbaric and completely unacceptable! Babies not in immediate danger and no contraindications. I just find it hard to understand why you would do that. Can think of no other medical sitution where you would expect someone to put up with that kind of pain (and I know labour is painful, had mine at home)

I was horrified by the pain. I never thought anything could hurt so much and I wonder if am some sort of a weaking because obviously many other women go through labour and it does not seem to bother them as much. I had 43 hours of labour with epidural followed by Emergency CS with DS and 10 hours of labour followed by CS with DD. Was extrememly hacked off because I was supposed to have elective C Section with DD but she decided to come two weeks early.

My pain was mainly lower back pain - like my lower body was being squeezed in a vice. I couldnt bear to be touched by anyone and when offered a VBAC because I had already done 10 hours labour and was 6 cm dilated I refused and demanded C Section. I do feel a bit cowardly for that but not really any regrets. I adore my kids and would like another but I have never for one second forgot that pain. People told me I would forget once I held my child but I have not.

Sorry just re-read my post, did not mean to imply that 'you' would do that - just why some people (docs etc) would do that!

Amethyst: if you were like me, it wasn't the degree of the pain, it was the duration. 43 hours is a long time and really wears you down. The husband of a friend of mine was telling me how brilliant his wife is because she coped with the pain of labour with just gas and air. Both her labours were over within 3 hours! I don't know whether to be that he is insulting me for needing an epi at the end, or that he is so proud of his wife! I coped fine for the first 10 hours, (and 3 days pre-labour before that), but after that exhaustion set in.
Sorry, this is a very long-winded way of saying that with a labour that long I certainly don't think that you're a wimp!

Mrstitlemouse - I completely agree with you, duration plays such a big part in how well someone can 'cope' I think, lack of sleep makes everything so much worse, as does lack of support. I think it was Gowri Motha (gentle birth method) that said no woman should have to put up with more than 8 hours of intense labour without some help!

My labour was 24 hrs but only 5 of those were what I would call out of control pain. I could not have carried on much longer!

I knew what you meant susie! LFB was talking about induction though - I would say that there are many women who do it without epidural, it all depends on how you cope(I wouldn't be induced without heavy duty pain relief though )

This is a great thread - it's so enlightening to hear of the different types of pain experienced. I'm another who was shocked and horrified at the level of pain; mine was focussed down like someone was, basically, trying to rip open my cervix and doing it not with their hands but with a knife.

That's the best way I can describe the type of pain. I do remember that the contractions did have that build-up, peak, then stop, but each pain was so traumatic that I don't remember any breaks as such. The pain gradually expanded to cover my whole tummy but the worst of it always felt like it was on my cervix.

It was a brutal, violent pain and I did get to the stage where I would rather have died than carry on - that's when I got an epidural after two days and two nights in constant labour!

I do think exhaustion makes it feel worse; and not making progress just makes you despair; it took me 50 hours ish to get to 8 cm dilated.

I'm still quite ANGRY about how bad it was!

This is interesting. Especially since I read so much about labour before both DCs and kept reading about painful tightenings in the bump. Glad to hear some other people had things differently!

With both labours, I had awful pre/early labour for days beforehand. Regular (5-10 mins) contractions that went nowhere. With both, the moment that changed to real labour is unknown to me as it wasn't much different! What I do remember with DS was that if all felt in my back passage too. Like it being drawn up from the inside and that was awful. He was back to back for a long time in labour so perhaps that's why. The rest of the pain was simply pain and tightening, though all in my lower back then radiating around the front. Until the very end then it was a whole body pain/experience! And of course the crowning is undescribable!

With DD I was at home and kept much more active (wasn't forced to lie on my back like with DS) and I did breathing techniques and managed without pain relief. I found it quite enjoyable actually, and got a real buzz from the pain which makes me sound seriously weird I'm sure! When contractions ended I just thought "wow" lol. I remember feeling extreme pressure (waters didn't go until they were burst at the end) and I think that was worse than the pain. I was bouncing on a gym ball to try and get them to burst and when I bounced in a contraction it was like tapping on a tooth that you had toothache in. Felt mad to cause more pain IYSWIM.

It's interesting when people talk about the sensations. What I found hard with DS was that I felt wet and gunky with a show all the time, felt like I was going to have the runs all the time. With DD, the pressure was awful. Also when she descended after my waters were broken, she moved so fast when I pushed (2nd stage was 6 mins, compared with 2 horus with DS!) it was really unnerving. The feeling of all your bones moving apart to accomodate is weird. The nausea in both was horrid too. With DD I was determined to avoid the pain relief as I can handle the pain better than feeling/being sick. The exhaustion was another thing I wasn't prepared for. And the feeling sweaty and icky isn't nice, especially around strangers (the mw's).

Though by far the weirdest sensation was the placenta coming out. I'll never forget that!

I meant to say that everyone has a different experience and it's not wimpy to take the pain relief! I would say that DSs and DDs labours were pretty similar though and with DS I had G&A and morphine and really thought I needed them. With DD, having done it without anything, I realise the drugs weren't that good. They put me on a different planet to the pain, but it was still there

Hi, it is interesting to hear of other people's experiences. The first 8 hours of my labour were not painful at all. I had regular tightening feelings that I imagine would feel similar to one of those electric abdominal exercisers (I've never used one so I'm not sure if this comparison is right). after 8 hours I started to feel some pain so I got into the pool (I had a home water birth) and these pains were like bad period pains. The only truely painful sensation was towards the end when my lower back started to ache as I pushed out my DD.

It is true what people say though, it stops the second they are born!

I had a great birth experience and I would love to do it again (which is a shame as we don't plan to have a second ).

I agree, this has been a very interesting read! I'm a midwife and had my first baby 8weeks ago and i have to admit it was nothing like i thought it would be!!
I knew i wouldn't be good with the pain, complete wimp{blush] but nothing could prepare me for the pain i got. The first 10hrs were bearable, was in the pool, then LO turned back to back{hmm]. I literally went from coping, chatting, eating drinking,smiling in one contraction and the next a jibbering wreck! I could not believe the difference one contraction can make, it was very scary! I could no longer talk or communicate properly, i just cried constantly, and made noises i never knew i was capable of making!! After probably 1hr of this i had had enough, i got an epidural - pure bliss I then proceeded to get a temperature which gradually got worse as time went on, this also had an effect on the baby, he got more and more distressed aswell. The first time it sunk in how much i loved this little 'fetus' was when they decided to do a fetal blood sample. Hearing them doing that i felt an overwhelming feeling to protect him and screamed them to stop cos i knew it would be hurting him!! By the end of my labour i was quite delirious, having rigors etc however as soon as they delivered him, ventouse, that all stopped and all pain was forgotten didn't believe it could happen so quickly but i had!!

how intersting this is! i too am a midwife, though you would never believe it if you read some of the messages ive posted on here the last couple of wks.its so different when its your own child! having recently had my second child and was OP like my first, i too thought that am i just a wimp as i see many women cope much,,much better than i did. i do think now after reliving it and talking it through with dp i am not a wimp, in fact i feel that i have a high pain threshold. both labours i felt excruciating back pain due to babies position. AGONY. my first labour(although memories are very blurred)was ten times worse than i imagined, although i did have an epidural due to raised blood pressure, but even when it wore off i dont rememember getting much feeling of pressure and needing to push just an uncomfortable feeling as the head was ready to be born. This time the labour was much quicker but also more intense, and when i felt my first contraction i too, though oh i remember this!even though it had been 8 yrs. once in established labour the contractions were agaan, just felt in my back, just a terrible feeling of pressure over my sacral area. this was helped massively by massage by dp(he remembered what to do!I did all the right things in labour, upright position, hands and knees etc, but nothing relieved the pain, nothing, not until he came out. I went from 8-9cm to fully in an hour but again didnt feel urge to push, just pressure in my back, but this time i pushed anyway, with all my might and out he came! i do think op labours are 10 times worse(and in my experience at work too- so many end up cs)and i thinki wouldnt be such a wimp if had a baby in correct position!