Tell me about your second births..

[0MrsT]

I'm in the the trimester for baby #2 and I cannot decide between a natural birth or elected section.

My first birth was horrendous.. everything went wrong, I don't think a single thing went to plan. I was induced, it wasn't working.. 3 days to get to 2cm so they could burst my waters, she struggled to burst my water, when she did nothing happened.. they put me on the drip which was horrendous.. I had gas and air, which turned out to be just air for hours, I endured 6 hours of agony and didn't dilate anymore than 2cm.. so I opted for an epidural, it took them 9 attempts to get the needle in, when they got it in it didn't work.. they kept telling me it was working but I bloody knew it wasn't! In the end it was readjusted and kicked in. I wasn't progressing so they suggested a section, I asked for more time.. then suddenly everything happened all at once, baby was distressed and so I had episiotomy and forceps. Bad tear.. infection, burst stitches.. literally look me a year to be able to sit on the toilet without being in pain.. it's 2 years later and I still suffer with pain around my scarring.

I really want to plan a section because I just think it's easier, planned, calm and I'm in control.. yes I know recovery is hard.. but recovery was hard last time, I can't see that it would be much harder.

If I could be told I'd 100% have a natural normal delivery I'd go for it without a second thought, but I can't go through all that again.

What were your second births like? Especially if your first was bad? I know you can't compare but I'd feel better with some hope it could work out ok.. or maybe it'll push me into an elected section and stop doubting myself.

I literally loose sleep over this every night!

@user1464279374 the idea of giving birth alone doesn't really phase me at all. I'd be sad for my husband.. but I wouldn't be sad for me. Last time I didn't even know he was there.. I hate being fussed when I'm in pain I just zone out he knows me well enough to not bother stroking my back or wiping my brow! I'd hate him to miss the birth of our child, but I wouldn't miss having him there for my sake

@dillydallydollydaydream7
No I don't understand it either, especially when the fertility clinic tell you as soon as you're pregnant it's a 'normal' pregnancy. Some hospitals wouldn't class you as high risk for ivf and treat you no differently.
I've tried to find evidence of why it's high risk, there isn't much out there.. one study suggested that the drugs make the placenta deteriorate quicker.. but that isn't widely accepted and if it was a risk then it wouldn't vary so much between different hospitals!!
Still wouldn't have the confidence to go against their advice though.. just because of that slight 'what if'

I had identical labours with both DS. Waters went, no labour, induction with pessary and then a drip, failed epidurals.

First was 28 hours, second was 18. The main difference is my first I was dilating every hour by about hour 16. The second, I sat at 2cm for 14 hours, then took another four hours to get to 4cm. But I then had what felt like a continuous contraction for 20 minutes and went from 4cm to delivered in 40 minutes.

I begged for a Caesarian while in labour but they insisted I carried on. I won't have a third, but if I did I'd ask for a c section from the get go.

Following this thread with interest - I had my first nine months ago and I'm slowly starting to think about #2.

OP, I also had a difficult birth and ended up with a third degree tear and my baby in the NICU for two days. I was a lot luckier with my recovery and felt pretty much back to normal after about four months. I had a lot of intensive physiotherapy - is/was this an option for you? I'm not in the UK and the postnatal care could be a factor in when I move home.

Both pregnancies fertility treatment.
First birth spontaneous labour, had major complications ended up in itu, took a long time to recover (even after 16 years still have a few issues).
Second Labour twin pregnancy vaginal delivery following induction - I was up and about next day doing school run with dt at 5 days old.
Totally different experiences you never know what's going to happen. I was very nervous prior to induction however felt I wanted to give it a go as I have no memory of my first birth. I did however decide with drs that I had a low freshold for interventions (luckily interventions weren't needed).

Oh that does sound rough OP.

My first I was in labour for 3 days. I was induced, 2 pessaries that didnt do much, attempted to break my waters around 1. Waters finally went around 3pm contractions every 2 minutes, finally gave in for an epidural around 11pm and was put on the drip. Baby was in distress and I had to stay on my side which made the pain even worse, had to have a Episiotomy. DD born 3am, very sore and very tired!

Recently gave birth again and even with Covid 19 issues it was a breeze. Woke up at 7 30am with mild cramps, by 9 I made my way to the hospital as contractions were 2 minutes apart. Was 5cm dilated so partner was allowed in and by 10am I was holding my baby after 3 quick pushes. Totally different from my first(utter hell) and actually quite enjoyable

There were paragraphs