Natural birth/epidural

[WatchingTheMoon]

Where I live, there are three options: C section, epidural or natural birth. No other pain relief is available, not gas and air, no other pain killers, nothing.

This is my first baby and I have no idea how the pain will be. I could say I have a high pain threshold (I never take pain killers in any situation) but obviously that is pretty meaningless when it comes to labour.

It's so hard to know what to do. I can't decide if I should just take the epidural or if I should try for a natural birth.

Does anyone have any advice either way?

@WatchingTheMoon firstly big congratulations!! Sounds like it’s not long until you meet your baby too!!

If your generally good with pain then perhaps try for the natural birth with an expectation that you may change your mind.

Every labour is so different you just have to go with the flow, I had a baby the same day, I too am good with pain / expected it to take longer so was in denial about being in full labour ... by the time my husband dragged me to hospital I was ready to push so an epidural I believe is not an option ... to be fair at that exact point I would have had one 😂 but it’s weird how the mind copes ... I just zoned out in the end.. ( I as pushing and responding but between contractions I literally could have sworn I was in bed with my cats drinking tea. 😂) from first regular contraction to birth it was about 13 hours

My friend had a 3 day labour so pain relief was needed

Good luck 😉 you got this x x

If it helps labour was easier than I thought ( bar the pushing part ... that just didn’t feel right I had no instinct to push I had instinct to clench 😂)

Get informed.

I read lots of books and felt ready for it.

I did weekly pregnancy yoga, doing a little each evening.
Affirmations every night on my iPhone.
Hyonobirthing visualisations near the end.

Water pool at home.

The best books were:
Inna May Guide to Childbirth
JuJu Sudin Birth Skills
Gowri Mothra Gentle Birth

Next were:
Inna May Spiritual Midwifery
Grantley Dick-Read Childbirth without Fear

Get in physical shape. Cute your body to relax at will (hypnosis). Get informed. Learn how to use your breathing to relax. Use the Sile na Gig images as inspiration. Hey hear packs or tubes for the labor pains. Get juggling balls for squeezing when in contractions.

Your body can only release one hormone at a time. It'll be either stress or happy hormones. If you can keep the happy hormones coming, your labor will progress.

If you start stressing, your labor will slow or stop.

Your body creates pain relief 1000 times stronger than the strongest heroin we can synthetically produce.

Your body knows what to do. Your work is being protected and primed to give it is best shot at doing what out needs to do without your 'thinking brain' getting involved.

I'm not saying you won't encounter issues and maybe need intervention. I'm saying hey yourself prepared and ready to give yourself the best chance at doing it by yourself.

Practice the Birth Skills beforehand. Have strategies ready to use in the labor room.

Write yourself a positivity letter. Remember what our days every time someone tries to scare you with their horrific birth story.

In my experience the most prurient of these people, since close family members too, when questioned further, turned out to be the women who didn't prepare for birth but instead thought they'd 'figure out what to do when they got into the labor room' then were surprised when they got overwhelmed by the experience.

Be focused. Be strong. You can do it!!!!

I had a unplanned unattended home birth so no pain meds whatsoever. The contractions were completely manageable with hypnobirthing, just string period pains. The actual 2nd stage of labour where I needed to push was so painful I remember thinking at one point I want to die (sorry to be so negative!) but then it was over and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. However as I said my experience was unplanned and unattended so I think my sudden panic at giving birth without any medical help didn't help with managing the pain.
If you're not sure I would go for the epidural as surely you could refuse it if you go into labour and feel like you don't need it.

In my country, it's also epidural or nothing. In German hospitals they also do IV pain relief, but I'm not keen on needles anywhere.
In German MLUs, there is nothing, bar your midwife for you alone and some heat packs and whatnot. IMO, the midwife is the only thing you need.

I personally did a drip until 10 cm with no pain relief and a completely natural labour also without pr. I don't wish the drip on anyone, but I think I would have coped better, had I had the sense to look for a place where I could get comfortable sitting up straight (didn't feel like standing or walking to be honest). I did sit in my second labour and that was so much better.

I also abandoned the special breathing exercises and visualisation second time round, because they didn't really work.

For what it's worth, IMO the real pushing stage where you feel the head coming is not at all as bad as I thought. First time I had had an epidural as I'd been moved to hospital where they insisted on one (I think because they were going to do a c section if ventouse had failed). I was petrified of it and I remember thinking , 'Nooo, I can't get anything now, what did I do!! Why was I so stupid?' but it's more like an enormous, hard bowel movement after several weeks of constipation. Surprisingly non-painful actually. By the time it hurts (the crowning), it's practically over.

Sorry but I couldn't not say @AvengerDanvers95 you were terribly rude. I do hope you're just having a bad day because if you act like that regularly, id be genuinely concerned that you are a bit of a shit person.

Having an epidural was the best decision I ever made!
I never wanted one but after 2 days of contractions with little pain relief following being induced I begged for an epidural !

I had my second 18 weeks ago, I went from 3cm to 10cm in 7mins and two pushes she was out. I barely had time for pain relief. It was painful I’m not going to lie, but it was so painful that I couldn’t cope.

The problem is that if your labour isn’t short then it gets harder to cope with the pain and as you’re a FTM you won’t know how it’s going to go. My first labour was 4 days long but only 10hrs from waters breaking to baby out.

Can you book an epidural and then decline it if you’re feeling okay and things are progressing?

@Islandermum you really could have not said it. You tag me to tell me I'm a shit person based on nothing to do with you and it's me who is rude? Ok.

Epidural everytime for me.

I had contractions for about 10 minutes and decided it was a no thank you I am a woos though.

In your situation, I would book an epidural.

I've had two births, one with gas and air, and the other was too quick for anything in the end, but I did get a bit of gas and air after. So I haven't actually had an epidural but I always had the option of one.

The thought of going into labour without the option of any pain relief would worry me, particularly after giving birth.

I'm intrigued as to why you can't have gas and air, it was a lifesaver for me.

I would book an epidural. I had one and it worked wonders I couldn't recommend it more!
Ignore the rude comments no need for it really

With my daughter I didnt have any pain relief, not even gas and air as they midwives didnt think I was in labour. It was very painful. Everyones contraction pains can vary in location and what they feel like, for me it was the most intense period cramp pain ive ever had. I dont want to sugar coat it, but the pain was bloody awful!!

Despite all that, I wouldnt have an epidural. I dont want a needle in my back, i want to be able to get up and walk around and not be limited to a bed. Im currently pregnant with my second DD, and im preparing myself alot more this time! I think i was so underprepared with my first, and just kind of left to it, i had no one to talk me through the pain and get the breathing techniques and so I panicked. This time, im reading hypnotherapy books mainly for the breathing techniques and affirmations. Ill be getting some wireless headphones for labour to keep me in the zone, so I can really try to relax as much as possible this time and have myself prepared. Also prepping my partner with the breathing so if I do start to go off track, he can help me. Ill also be looking at aromatheraphy oils to help myself relax as much as possible.

Good luck op with whatever you choose to go with!!

Can I suggest reading this www.labourpains.com/FAQ_Pain_Relief

It's a leaflet from the Obstetric Anesthestists Association. It's fairly unbiased compared to the replies you will.probabky get on here.

Where are you based? Im having my first in December and have booked an epidural. At the last minute if I don't want it I can say no I guess but I'm pretty sure I will.

I would agree that a good midwife is better than any pain relief. However this was not my experience of a German MLU. My experience of the German midwives was one lovely one who I liked and then she went off shift and left me with one who refused to speak any English to me (I can speak German, but I was in labour) and kept rolling her eyes at the level of pain I was displaying and then leaving me alone for hours. It was only once they brought the doctor in that I felt taken seriously and she actually tried to coach me a bit which is what I needed (unfortunately, doulas aren't allowed in hospitals in Germany or I'd have hired one of those).

OP if your country is quite divided in terms of epidural = medical interventions vs natural floaty hippy births then you may find your fears about excess intervention are justified. But remember that a lot of English-language sources of info about birth will be American and they have a very intervention heavy culture surrounding birth there. A lot of countries are more like the UK where they won't do interventions just for the sake of it or to speed things up, whether you've had an epidural or not. You might do well to speak to people who have given birth in the same country and ask for experiences/advice.

I'd go for an epidural but that's mostly because I don't see the point in being in a lot of unnecessary pain for no good reason. It doesn't make you a better mum or a warrior or an earth mum or whatever if you had a lot of pain. It just means that you had a lot of pain.

In German Geburtshäuser (which is the one I mean by MLU), you only get your midwife if she practises there. Only yours, no going off shift. They can ask a second one to attend, but the idea is to provide a personal service from beginning to end, even if that takes 24 hours so to speak (my first labour took well over 12 hours for her, including a stint in the ambulance to the hospital 20 minutes away, where she handed me over).

In hospitals, obviously, you do get midwives going off shift which is why I chose my local Geburtshaus over pain relief. Although there are other hospitals where you can bring your own midwife along (Beleghebamme), provided she works with the hospital in question, although that's sadly not my local one.

I was actually quite surprised I could keep up the German, even when I was in agony the first time round. Fortunately so, because my midwife doesn't speak any English (too old). My ob probably does, although I haven't checked. But anyway, he only comes at the very end to solve any problems if they arise, so it's no matter really.

Thanks for all replies, it's a holiday here so will reply tomorrow.