Am I ever going to be normal again?! I'm scared

[Alicia870]

Gave birth 5.5 weeks ago and feel like I've been left like an old lady. It was a long labour, back to back position and ended with vacuum and episiotomy. I'm only 32 and I'm so down about what's going on with my body. I've been having pressure and heaviness in my vagina since my delivery). I also have quite significant pelvic pain and hip and sacral pain.

I went to physio and she didn't examine me down there as not yet 6 weeks but she said it sounds very much like I have a prolapse. I can hardly walk around my house without pain. My pelvis is so sore and that heavy feeling is horrendous. I'm so so scared I won't recover. Is this normal, has anyone been through anything like this? Feel like I've been in a car accident and feel like I won't get better!

Physio said right side is slightly more rotated so going back for them to do some more work on that. She seemed more concerned about potential prolapse. Though it is both sensations that is bothering me - the pelvic pain and then heaviness. Tailbone also very tender and sore. Thanks for all the comments. It is so lovely to hear I'm not alone in this but why don't they prepare us for this?! Had no idea it was going to leave me feeling like i have a disability

Alicia870 don't be embarrassed. It's common for it to take many months to recover from pregnancy and childbirth. The fact that it's embarrassing not to bounce straight back is so massively sexist, and exacerbated by the "pregnancy isn't an illness, there is no difference between a mother and a father, I was wrestling tigers whilst jogging a 45 mile school run with my 5 year old balanced in my head and my newborn strapped to my back 12 hours post partem" brigade.

Saying that you have birth injuries is ok, most people wont pry.

I didn't have a prolapse but had complications following a long labour and emergency section (also back to back baby) and took a long time to be able to walk properly. Overdid it after dc3 because I was feeling well and started bleeding internally. I know so many people who've needed operations in the months after giving birth to repair birth injuries, or had cesarean complications including serious infections. You are not alone.

Hi! I haven’t read the whole thread but just wanted to say I had something similar.

Long back to back labour, 2nd degree tear.

The heavy feeling went away after about 8- 12 weeks. I called the doctor and asked for an emergency appointment and got examined. No prolapse- I think it was partly physiological thinking it was a prolapse that made it worse. TMI but I also had terrible constipation which didn’t help.

Did lots of perlvic floor exercises and feel normal again now. 5.5 weeks is no time at all.

Hopefully it will all be fine but please go and get examined to put your mind at rest!

Poor you OP

In terms of feeling traumatised, it would be a good idea to ask your GP to refer you back to the midwife who looked after you, or a consultant, to go through your labour. They look at all your notes and answer any questions, and can explain why/what happened. It really is beneficial (I'm a midwife!)

Rest up! And congrats

You poor thing but it is early days. You will get back to normal but do seek advice about a possible prolapse, there's lots that can be done.

I really feel for you.

I am glad that you have an appt. with your GP on Friday and hopefully they will be able to put your mind at rest. Do please say directly that you are concerned you may have some sort of prolapse and would be grateful if they could do an internal and put your mind at rest.

I am sure you will feel better just knowing the worst/best. Uncertainty is very debilitating.

Do not forget that childbirth is a mega disruption to your whole body - and a back-to-back labour is utterly exhausting. Celebs give the impression that you just bounce back in a flash - that is totally untrue and leads people to have unrealistic expectations - it took a long time for me to get over my 3 births.

I don't have any major issues with bladder or bowel thankfully. Though I do also have bad piles since pregnancy made worse after the birth. But generally control is fine with both. It's just a heavy sort of dragging feeing. Sometimes feel I need to catch my breath when I stand and walking from the kitchen to the living room is even very uncomfortable. Anyway, I take heart in the empathy from everyone and hope things will be looking more positive soon

Oh bless you. I'm 3.4 weeks postpartum and having a similar wobble re. Recovery. I too had an episiotomy after an emergency forceps delivery. After a week my stitches became infected and came out, leaving me with what the midwives described as a gaping hole.

I cried, lots.

Thankfully one of the midwives on the maternity assessment unit (where I was seen after my stitches split) referred me to a specialist perineal midwife in the gynaecology department and that really helped to make me feel better. I'd recommend trying to see a specialist if you can as they are the experts in this. My hospital (Chelsea and Westminster) allows you to self refer to the specialists so it may be worth seeing if yours does too!

I can't offer much advice but wanted to try and reassure you a bit. Even though i am still in lots of pain and discomfort and it feels as though I am not healing, I actually am. I wouldn't have known this at first without seeing the specialist as it all looked rather horrid down there. Now I can see some improvements, but it's still very sore (AND I've caught thrush typically).

Pelvic floor exercises are your best friend.

You WILL heal. But it will take time. Make sure you keep pushing for medical professionals to look and assess you to put your mind at rest. I think every midwife I met looked at me until I was referred. If you are anxious, don't rest until you are under the care of someone who can calm that anxiety.

You will get there lovely, look after yourself xx

Bless you OP, I feel like I could have written your post a year ago. I also had an episiotomy after a long and difficult labour and needed to see physio as my stitches ruptured. Moving was so uncomfortable and agonising for what seemed like an eternity and I really struggled with the body I was left with. My DS has just turned a year old, and whilst I've still got a flabby portion of belly and my boobs are like deflated balloons, I feel so much more myself. 5.5 weeks is very early bless you and I completely get why you feel as you do. I can still feel my scar but it's not painful anymore and I can honestly say I'm 90% as I was beforehand in most ways of life! Take it slow and look after yourself; in time you will feel differently and it will get better! Xx

Get to see a specialist women’s health physio as soon as possible. Insist on a referral from the GP.

Oh bless you! I felt the same, I was in agony and so frustrated that no one could give me cream, tablets or any medication to sooth the pain. I literally felt broken!

However one day about 6/7 weeks in, i just woke up one morning and I could walk without pain. I even thought to myself I could go for a run right now! I didn't as that was wishful thinking! Just stay positive, it will pass! X

I had a ventouse delivery, episiotomy and a severe third degree tear. I was sore for about two months. I have a prolapse and do pelvic floor exercises. I'm fine now, my lady parts are not the same as before the birth, the main difference is I can't run or jump.
You will recover, just get it checked at your six week appt and get a referral. It's early days you will be ok.

I know there's no point worrying until I get doctor to confirm what is going on down there but I can't help stressing. I'm less worried about joint and muscle pains, but utterly devastated considering I might have a prolapse or some sort of internal damage. It really does feel like someone has put weights inside me. It's all I can think about and the feeling is there all the time, even when lying down. I can't wait to find out what's wrong with me, but also completely terrified and can't help thinking 'why me?!' Though then I feel guilty as I know I have so much to be thankful for and a beautiful healthy baby. But it's just so much change and I was never prepared for potential long term health and quality of life issues arising from childbirth.
Sigh.
I'm getting carried away with dread. I'll know more after my appointment on Friday

I could have almost written your post 6 months ago!
I've had 2 back to back deliveries with episiotomies. No instruments but DC2 was quite big. I had an aching heavy feeling and was obsessing over it, convinced I was broken and cried when I got home from every nursery run because I was so uncomfortable. I know it's frustrating to hear but 5 weeks is so early! You could still be swollen and bruised. And episiotomies cut through muscle which takes time to heal.

In my case I didn't have a prolapse, according to the GP. What I did find helpful was doing pelvic floor exercises regularly. I also did (and still do) physio led Pilates and used the Hab-it programme. Remembering to engage the right muscles before straining or picking things up helped a lot.

Around 12 weeks I started to feel loads better, and managed to start running and doing high impact classes again. And 6 months in I feel normal. Even if it is a prolapse, physio can help. I'm on a FB group with other mums and some of them have prolapses. And I think with the right help lots of them are starting to feel normal again!

I don't normally comment on anything other than perfume threads, but this has really struck a chord with me.
A week and a half after having my second baby (he's now four months) I felt a heavy sensation, almost like needing to remove a tampon. I self diagnosed a mild prolapse, and was bedside myself. It was so unexpected - I'd had a dream delivery, three hours, only four minutes of pushing, had no pain or continence issues, was fit and healthy etc (though I have hypermobility syndrome which makes it much more likely). I felt mortified, terrified, like my sense of femininity, sexuality, attractiveness disappeared. I was afraid of picking up my three year old, lifting him into the swings, running after him. I felt like nothing would be the same.

Fast forward four months and I've been seeing a womens health Physio, specialist osteopath and my GP. I've been doing pelvic floors, the hab-it series (not as regularly as I'd like due to the baby and pre schooler) and weekly pilates. I'm careful about lifting, engage when doing anything strenuous, and look after myself. Lots of lying down and listening to my body. By ten weeks, three separate internals couldn't identify a prolapse, and the heaviness is much, much reduced. I have days where I don't feel it, times when I do - namely if I've been on my feet at lot or carrying the baby. I'm optimistic I've reversed much of the initial weakness, but know I'll be doing the exercises to manage it for life. No bad thing as my stomach needs all the help it can get...

I think some of my symptoms have also been psychosomatic. I feel it more at times of stress - I felt it suddenly yesterday when I was tired and ill and shouted at my DS1 unnecessarily. Knowing this has helped me a lot.

Finally (long post, sorry), I've started talking about it. I'm so angry that my first reaction was mortification. I've since learnt how common prolapse is, that people I know have had the same but never talked about it, I've had a woman after a Pilates class come over and quietly tell me she had the same and was devastated by it. I think openness is important as it will help educate and prevent, overcome the feeling of shame, give us more tools for effective recovery.
If you're in London I can send you the details of the Physio and osteopath I've been seeing, and I'm more than happy to send you the email the Physio sent me outlining some useful dos and don'ts. Just PM me.
Good luck tomorrow x

I felt like I'd been hit by a truck with DD1. Long, back-to-back labour. DD got stuck and everyone started to panic. Episiotomy and forceps. Painful recovery, constant bf, zero sleep and no friends or family to help.

Ime the first baby turns you inside out physically and emotionally but I fully recovered. DC2 and 3 both popped out in no time. With DC3 I was doing the school run 2 days later. I've lost all the weight and fit as ever (even my pelvic floor)

No matter what you feel at the moment remember everything is temporary.

You will not feel like this forever.

That’s a fact.

I have a simple suggestion which is to...

Stand up Straight.

After I had my baby 9 months ago (CSection) I had to get my brain to tell my body to stand up poker straight for the first time in my life:

After mastering that I moved on to squeezing my bum cheeks while standing up straight and stationary (not walking).

These simple steps made me feel in control of my body and made me feel mentally better:

You do have Control over your body. You can start on simple wins and move onwards.

You can do this!

Thanks for everyone's comments. I'm so glad to say that I've been checked by physio and gp and don't have a prolapse. I'm now 7 weeks pp and honestly feel like a new woman. By no means am I fully recovered and still have a lot of tenderness and pelvic pain, but the heavy feeling has eased off massively.
Physio was convinced it was coming from tight muscles around the episiotomy. I've been doing lots of pelvic release stretches as physio said my pelvic floor is actually good strength wise and to tighten up the area with constant pelvic floors will make everything worse. It has helped massively. I still have a long way to go and still not great with walking distances etc but at least can get through the day without severe pain. There is definitely hope for anyone else struggling physically after birth!
Still feel very angry that I had such a long labour and nothing was done to speed it up as I think how long I was in labour has a lot to do with my tough recovery. Definitely elcs next time!

@Alicia870 how are you getting on now?
I'm 5 weeks PP and whilst not suffering quite as badly as you were I'm worrying I might have a prolapse as I've definitely got a bulge in my vagina and feeling not quite right. Having read this has made me hope perhaps I'm just still swollen and it will settle down soon.

Hi @NewBabyNoName - funny you've posted today on this as today hasn't been great for me. On the whole I'm miles better than how I had been. But I've been shopping all day so been on my feet (which at 5weeks pp would have been absolutely impossible for me for for perspective). So while I'm more mobile than I had been I still have a lot of discomfort around my coccyx/tailbone especially after walking.

Been going to physio and Pilates and doin a lot of pelvic release work. At 5 weeks I still had a lot of dragging and heaviness and o didn't have the prolapse so hopefully you don't either. It looks like I've just had a lot of damage from baby's back to back position and a 2 day labour. Still a long way to go to full recovery but hoping I will get there

Glad you're doing better op. I couldn't stop crying for weeks after giving birth to my son due to the sort of issues you mentioned. Three months down the line I was almost back to normal, I'm pleased to say. My son is now 13 months old and everything is fine, although I do get lower back pain if I sit on a hard chair or something.

I agree with you that we are not prepared for some of the injuries that happen after giving birth. Like you I honestly thought I was going to be disabled for the rest of my life and was severely depressed in the early days, ruining the first few precious weeks with my baby. More should be done to educate and support women before and after birth.

Sorry you've had a rough day @Alicia870 but glad you've been better overall.

It feels like a catalogue of chaos here, stitches, piles, shingles (I mean really...?), fissures and now this. Not exactly a glamorous time is it?

Always helps to know you're not alone though.

It's nothing short of horrendous!
When I look back on the early days now I actually feel angry. When I looked in the mirror in the hospital I was so swollen and bruised Black that it looked like I'd grown another bum! But I was still sent home the following day and told to take paracetamol. After a 2 day back to back labour that ended in instrument and a cut and being sent home with literally 3 days of no sleep (stiff of pure torture itself) with a newborn baby!

The gp wasn't much help either- she was clueless at my 6 week check and just inquired why physio thought I had a sore pelvis when I didn't have it in pregnancy? She just wanted to talk about contraception. But needless to say that's not really on the agenda at the moment mate!
I think a lot of the time women are completely left out on a limb when it comes to more complicated recoveries. My physio is fantastic and she is planning to do an information session with the gps on our area on their 6 week checks as so many women are not getting the proper follow ups they need. There's more to deal with than just our mood and contraception after 6 weeks