Bad experience of homebirths?

[susie100]

Hi,
I am seriously considering a homebirth (am seven and a half months pregnant with my first) after a conversation with a midwife. Had not really thought about it but when I discussed some fears with her she suggested I sounded like the sort of person that may be better and more relaxed at home.

Have done some research and certainly looks as safe as hospital birth if you are low risk and we are 5 minutes for the hospital driving normally.
The websites and stories I have read seem overwhelmingly positive (including all the stories from homebirth.org). However, another post on here made me wonder how many people have had poor experiences but not ever mentioned it?
I am not trying to scare anyone but am genuinely interested in any stories, not necessarily where the outcome was not positive but where in hindsight people wished they were in hospital, weren't relaxed, could not cope with pain etc.
Don't wish to be negative but really want to be prepared and get both sides of the story?

'failed' experience of homebirth, but not bad.

I transferred after 3.5 hours pushing to no avail, and ended up having a ventouse delivery and DS was OP. But it wasn't a 'bad' experience because I knew I needed to go, I had felt calm throughout labour, TENS and pool had made it handle-able - I didn't want or need g&a. I'm still pleased I went for a HB - the registrar, when I got to hospital, said 'if you had been in labour here this would have been a CS hours ago' - but in a 'you did the right thing' sort of voice.

The midwives offered to call an ambulance or said we could go in our car with them following. We went by car. I certainly didn't feel a 'failure' - I felt as if we had dealt with all the eventualities in the right way as they arose. that's what a birth plan is about.

LOL there goes Blu stomping on my "OP positioning needs pain relief" theory

It might be an idea to plan a home birth, but keep a bag packed knowing you can go to hostpital at any time. Just because you've panned a home birth doesn't mean you can't change you mind.

I think the slowness of labour because of the OP meant that it was more handle-able. I did spend the whole time on all fours or leaning forward, was in the pool a lot, and was in agony if I tried to lie down on my back.

Oh yes, pack a bag, I didn't. Frantic packing resulted in me marooned in in hospital with a huge economy size box of breast pads and no clean clothes.

Yes, echoing "pack a bag for hospital". And do keep an open mind. I planned a homebirth, went for a scan at 38wks cos the mw suddenly worried the baby might be breech, found out she was feetfirst with some problems and had to stay in hosp and have a cs. I was not at all prepared!

I did go on and plan another hb for my second... Actually when people asked where I was going to give birth, I told them I was going to decide when I was in labour. As someone said, if you have a hb booked, you can change your mind and head for hosp at any point. Staying at home for a long time will have helped - that's what they advise anyway, isn't it. If you don't have a hb booked, and you stay at home for a long time and think "hey, I'm coping, I don't need to go in" - well its tough, the mw won't come out. So book the hb and decide at the time!

No experiences of actual homebirth though. I've planned 2 homebirths and had 2 cs. This time I'm planning a cs (you never know!)

I'm with ranting housewife on this one, with a nearly identical experience. Have to say that despite the high-drama of DH chasing the ambulance through town at high speeds followed by salad servers and spinals, am still considering a home birth for no.2.

I read somewhere 40% of women trying for their first birth at home do transfer to hospital, but on the plus side, if you are blue-lighted in, you get a fantastic reception at the door!

And when you read all the blah in the press about nasty bugs and the general dirty state of many hospitals, there is something infinitely more appealing about being in your own "germ environment" with the dirt you know and love...

I booked for hb 3 times (never got one, ended up being induced), I think it's a very valid point to have your bags packed and remember you can change your mind very easily. My the last inducement I had by birth plan perfected - stated dh was there to carry the bags and wanted the MW to be my birthing partner as I had no-one else to ask. It was fanastic they didn't wander off and leave us to it once things started and it was the only time I didn't end up with an epidural - would do the birth again tomorrow it was fab.

FrannyandZooey (lovin your name btw) - at your experience! Although must add that I had similar problem with OP position at home and g & a were naff all use. Can only describe g & a as being like really sh*te poppers and hence gave me flashbacks to misspent youth...

sorry susie this is not really helping with your question. I had a great experience, but I echo the sentiments of being prepared. Are you happy with your MW? Have you checked out the hospital just in case you have to be transferred? If not I would definitely advise you do this, it could make all the difference on the day. I did this the hospital was so bloody appalling it gave me the incentive to push even harder when the time came LOL!!

One of my close friends nearly died during a homebirth. While she was pushing the mw noticed that her baby had the chord wrapped around his neck (or something else, anyway something was very wrong) and thus the baby needed to be deliverd very quckly, and luckily my friend managed to pushed him out in one big hard push and, unfortunately tore very badly. The midwife didn't notice as she was busy trying to resusitate the baby who by this point had stopped breathing. Anyway, they managed get the wee one breathing and then they noticed that my friend was bleeding very heavily. Her dp remembers that both the midwifes were really starting to panic. They immediatedly phoned an ambulance and during the transfer to hospital they thought they were loosing her as they couldn't stop the bleeding. Even while she was in the operating theatre they didn't know whether she would pull through. She had a very very nasty tear which is still a problem and needed lots and lots of blood. ANyway, both of them are ok now but my friend, who used to be a real homebirth fan, is now totally against them as all of this would not have happened had she been in hospital. THey would have spotted the wee one's distress and either given her a c/s or ventoused him out earlier and all the drama could have been prevented.

After her experience I certainly would not have a homebirth.

I had a homebirth and it was a good experience. I had very supportive midwives who went through all the pros and cons of home/hospital birth and left me to make my own decision. I also had a wonderful DH who overcame his natural dislike of anything vaguely gory and was a little star on the day.

I also had a bag packed though in case I changed my mind or had to go to hospital at any stage. We also went on the hospital visit so that we were familiar with the set up there, again just in case.

I just knew home was where I wanted to be. Good luck with whatever you choose.

well no.1 opted for homebirth, laboured at home, had enough after a good few hours as exhausted and wanted to be taken in and I was, no problem as like you nr a hosp. It had been better being at home for most of the labour htough.

2nd time round, went for same option and actually gave birth at home too. Overwhelmingly positive experience. If you're low risk, prepared ot go in if need be and of course have hops bag backed, go for it!

Rochwen, was it your friends 1st baby?

Rochwen, was thinking about your sobering story earlier, and can understand why you feel as you do about homebirth. However, there are examples of horror stories that take place during & after birth in hospitals too. I have a friend whose surgeon hit an artery during her caesarian, and a member of our family lost a child after he caught an infection in hospital after the birth. Horrible and tragic things can and very occasionally do happen around childbirth.

However, statistically (the NHS tells us) you are as safe having a planned homebirth as a hospital birth.

I do think though Susie that you have to have total faith in your own ability to give birth naturally, and a belief in the competence and support of your midwives & other carers, in order to have a successful homebirth. If you have qualms about it, perhaps you might want to see if there is a midwife led unit in your area, as these are supposed to be more of a half-way house between your front room & a hospital.

sadly I know of horrors of hospital deliveries etc I think we forget that birth is a risky progress for mother and baby alike and nothing can completely eliminate that risk

Just to balance things... I just had a homebirth and when the midwife saw the cord wrapped twice round the baby's neck, she didn't tell me and panic me. Instead she said, "your baby REALLY wants to be born with this next surge and you can do it". I had her out in two pushes, with no tearing or grazing (and she was 9lb 5oz - so not a small baby). Baby fine, me fine. All good.

I was lucky and had a midwife who knew that if I panicked, I'd tense up and tear. She also knew I'd been doing hypnobirthing and knew that relaxing me was the best way to speed things up. This was an NHS midwife, btw - I'd never even met her beforem - she was on call. She worked all that out from my birthplan.

I think Rochwen's poor friend was really unlucky.

Lynettescavo (I love the character btw), it was my friends second baby. Her first was a super easy birth. That's why she felt so confident to do it at home.

I agree it was very bad luck but I really do believe that had she been in hospital or a midwife unit htey would have picked up the wee one's distress earlier and gotten him out quicker without all the drama and suffering.

Personally, even before I heard my friends story, I would have never considered a homebirth myself as I would want all the pain relief on offer. I would not go into a birth without an epidural as I simply do not cope well with pain. Again, that's just me. (Oh yes, I do have a dd myself, she was born by c/s.)

Rochwen, that's awful, I'm so sorry .

Just to add my experience. After my first boy was born in hospital, with an epidural and a fairly short labour (8 hours) I decided I might feel more in control at home this time. No big reason apart from that I got cross when hospital staff seemed to ignore me last time, I felt I was subject to a lot of rules and intervention without adequate explanation of how once I'd agreed to one thing, I'd be letting myself in for the next, and so on (ie. now you've had an epidural you have to lie down, no birthing on all fours, etc. etc.) which led to some resentment on my part. Also I wasn't attended much of the first time, and though I had a monitor, nobody was around to notice when it indicated DS1 was in trouble..I guess what I mean is, he could have died though I was in a consultant led unit.

This time around I don't think there was much chance I could have got to the hospital whatever, as it all kicked off so quickly. DS2 was here 3 1/2 hours after the first contraction and they came thick and fast, so I'd have not been able to have an epidural even if I'd planned to. (I'd have been in transition before we got to the hospital).

I really felt happier being in my own home, as I knew where I could go, ie anywhere, I didn't mind making a mess, I felt I had some say in what I did and how to best handle the pain, as the midwives were in my home iyswim. But I was also very freaked out when the contractions were getting very bad, and didn't handle it well (IMO!) and was begging for something, anything, to make it stop...there wasn't time. G&A was on hand but TBH I knew it wasn't going to touch it by then, so didn't bother, I was too busy dealing with what was happening.

In the end I had no relief at all and the baby was OP when he came out, thankfully it was all alright, the MW did say if he'd been a first baby I probably wouldn't have been able to get him out and then God knows what they would have done (ambulance would have meant at least half an hour to hospital).

I also bled after he was born, and they did start to panic until I had synto and it stopped. But it could have gone either way, and I remember thinking about hospital being a very good place to be if I ever did it again...just because we'd have been stuck here, and I or baby could have died had it not been Ok.

I think the upshot is, yes I feel proud of having had my child at home with no epidural, but while I was doing it I certainly didn't want to be! These things can't always be planned...but I'm glad I had the experience, as I feel I've finally understood the full meaning of birth iyswim...just personally I'm glad of that, for some insane reason

I think whatever the plan, though, it would have had to have been a home birth because of the time scale involved.

My homebirth experience with my third baby was fantastic. Everything went smoothly, I had gas & air. Poppy was a large baby (10lb exactly) so I did tear. At one point the midwives thought the tear was so bad that I may have had to go to hospital to be stitched, but they were able to do fabulous embroidery and all was well.

I would thoroughly recommend it (even though if I had known Poppy was so large, I may have opted for a hospital birth with more pain relief!)

I know that things can go wrong (as in Rochwen's friend's case) but things can go wrong in hospital too.

The care I received from the midwives was unbeatable - I would not have had that in hospital.

Good luck with whatever you decide. As long as you feel relaxed and comfortable, that should help a lot

In hospital a low risk woman would not have had any more monitoring than at home unless she choses to have an epidural so Rochwens friend would not have necessarily been delivered any earlier. Having said that obviously the blood loss would have been easier to deal with being in the hospital already. It is such a rare event for something like this to happen at home, and as others have said occasionally things go horribly wrong in hospitals too. You have to do what feels right for you and I don't see why you can't decide on the day as long as you have discussed the option of a homebirth with a mw in depth before the event.

Agree maxbear after the birth of ds (in hospital 27 hr lab, 9lb10oz, ventouse) the staff left me in the delivery room, bleeding for 4 hours before the clean up team spotted that I was haemorraging, by which time I'd lost over a pint of blood. Things still do go wrong in hospitals.

Thank you so much, all of you for sharing your experiences.
I do have confidence in the midwife team - they are a lovely bunch of community midwives who are all quite experienced in home and water birth so am confident they would spot problems early.
Rochwen your poor friend, glad she and her baby were ok in the end.
We are literally 5 minutes from the hospital so I suppose that is what is swaying me - thanks for the suggestion of a doula, very good idea and seeing a couple this evening.

What has really swung it for me is that I can change my mind at any time if I plan a homebirth so in a way I see it as a way of getting some midwife attention in early labour.

Also, friend from NCT gave birth last night, five weeks early, baby doing well as is mum but they left her on the ward for hours as they did not believe she was in labour - no monitoring going on there and he was a premie so I suppose things can go wrong or be risky anywhere!
Thanks for again for all your posts, have made up my mind to go for it.....but with a bag packed!!

Hello all, just wanted to thank all who contributed to this post and to let you know that I managed a wonderful home birth with my first daughter - Mafalda Rose, she is lovely! Was a very tough 24 hour labour and I have to say the pain was shocking, much worse than I thought and I did have a few moments of doubt (why am I doing this at home with no doctors, drugs, epidural etc). Had a brilliant midwife and apart from the stiches on gas and air (grim) would do it again in a heart beat. Imagine I would have had a c-section for 'failure to progress' in hospital.

congratulations Susie ans well done! What' s the origin of the name Mafalda?