Elective caesarean

[Jenny10marie]

Please could I ask anyone whom has had a caesarean and also already had a toddler at the same time? I’m worried about how I’m going to manage. I initially chose to have a caesarean as my first childbirth was so traumatic and I got sepsis so scared to death now. However, I’m wondering whether to reconsider as I have a two year old and worried how ill manage. How long is recovery and did anyone else have this problem? Thank you

Did you have a vaginal birth last time? 2nd births are usually much easier on the whole. Also an ELCS doesn't mean to say you won't get sepsis, especially with a big wound, an infection is more likely.

Yes, had a vaginal birth last time. Induced at 38 weeks which was a mistake as he was too far up, a lot of internal exams as his movement slowed down, then contractions too fast, had to have forceps delivery in the end after a loooooong time. So maybe that was the reason I got sepsis. Not sure what to do for the best.

Hiii, I'm watching this thread with interest - I'm currently 16 weeks with baby no 2 and I'm seriously considering an elective c-section but the fact that my eldest will be 2 years old by then is stopping me.

My 1st labour was very long and tramatic, I bled heavily all the way through and it ended up being a forceps delivery with a post-pardum haemorrage. All this I could actually handle again, but I suffered from urinary retention after because of a bruised bladder, and had to be sent home with a catheter. I was so down about it and was convinced I would never get my bladder function back. I did eventually, but would I be so lucky the second time if the same thing happens?

In my last home visit with DS1, my midwife said because I've had urinary retention once it's more likely to happen again so they would probably offer me a c-section next time, but now it's happened I don't know how I'd cope with healing after a c-section and running round after a toddler 🙈 I think I'd rather a vaginal birth, if only I could be guarenteed my bladder would be ok (impossible, I know!)

Interested to hear from ladies who have had a c-section recovery with a toddler to look after :)

I had an ELCS with DC2, just before DC1 turned 2 (DC1 was an EMCS delivery). Knowing when I was going in for the birth meant childcare was in place so everything was calm and controlled. I was home 24 hours after the birth. Neither CS resulted in infection.

As well as DH, my parents were around for 4 days to help. We'd explained to DC1 that I couldn't lift for a while and he loved finding new ways to climb where I would've lifted him before, e.g., high chair and bath. The pain was manageable and I knew not to overstretch myself.

By week three I felt almost back to normal and by week six I was driving and lifting normally again.

Have a chat with your consultant about your concerns. If you really want it you can put in a maternal request. Do you think your chosen unit would be open to you attempting a VB but moving to a CS if it reached a point you had previously agreed was enough? Don't be afraid to go for the option which feels right for you

I had an elcs with my twins no other toddlers at home but to reassure u I recovered very quickly, was pushing double pram around the park after about 10days, no real problems with mobility after the initial few days, had no issues breast feeding etc and had a much less stressful time thany friends who had tears..However Mrs A I did still have a bladder issue for 2 days and needed to have a catheter for about 36hrs. That was the only thing!

My DD was 22 months when I had my second Caesarean. The first few days (literally about two days) I needed someone else to help with her, and over the next couple of weeks I needed help lifting her into bed and out of bed or getting her dressed due to all the twisting.

By day 6 I was out and about pushing her in a pushchair with baby DS in a sling...

So in my experience, not a big problem. Hope that's reassuring.

I'm sorry to add in that I had sepsis after my second c section. It's actually higher risk for sepsis as a delivery method I believe. That shouldn't stop you if you are wanting an ELCS for other reasons (e.g. the bladder issue), but if it's to avoid recurrence of infection, it might not be the best choice.

T1mum3: yes I am just frightened about the sepsis. I did have urine retention too after vaginal delivery, that didn’t bother me. Unfortunately a new mother has just passed away after giving birth where I live from sepsis, so of course I’m even more frightened.
I am still torn which way to go, but I thought they could give you prophylactic antibiotics before a c section to avoid infection?
I’ve looked into risks, ie risk of blood clot is higher with c section. Still stuck!!!!!

Thank you for all your responses though, please keep your experiences coming as it is really helpful!!

Will be able to let you know in about 6 weeks!!!
I have a 4yr old and will be having an elective section at 37 weeks.
I too am nervous but see it as the only possible positive outcome at the moment. Various reasons for section.

They definitely give you all the drugs to stop clotting and infection with ELCS. You go home with mini syringes of anti-coagulant (I think?)...

Anyway, very similar to Gimmestrengf I had a 23mo when DS2 arrived. I healed very well, managed on paracetamol & was out and about with baby & toddler on a buggyboard within the week.

Apart from those very first few days when you're a bit delicate, the issues you gave with toddlers is no different to a VB. You're newly occupied with the baby while they want your attention, and that passes quickly too. Children are incredibly resilient & adapt quickly to the new routine.

So my questions would be how well do you heal generally; and will you have anyone about to help in that first week?

FWIW I found my ELCS incredibly calm & healing after a traumatic first birth.

I had a c section with breech baby with a just turned 2yr old at home. The worst part for me was during the last part of pregnancy and while healing, I wasn't able to pick toddler up and cuddle or sit on floor and interact with her. I had an allergic reaction to the dressing and had a top to toe itchy rash, but other than that I healed well and my toddler enjoyed her baby sister (so far!).

I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. Dc 1 - traumatic labour, messy EMCS. ELCS for DC2. Which my hospital chose to do at 38 weeks as I had some pregnancy complications and was in and out of hospital from 35 weeks. It was honestly the best choice ever. Lovely calm beautiful delivery, introduced to the surgical team, able to have my own music playing, such a contrast to what I can remember of the first which - as an emergency - was a horrible panicky rush. Logistically it was easy to arrange childcare for DC1 (which meant that as we got a private room at the hospital DH could stay overnight the first night), also meant it was easy to explain to DC1 about DC2 being on the way etc. Recovery was very easy really. Stayed in hospital for 3 nights (my choice, they were happy to discharge after 2 but I wanted more bf help). Took painkillers in hospital because they recommended that I should but didn’t need any once home. Felt well enough to have family round for a big lunch (DH cooked and family cleared up) when DC2 was 6 days old, first walk to and round the park pushing the pram at 10 days, I was absolutely fine to drive and take the DC to toddler group etc at 3 weeks.

I did! Horrible first birth with MRSA etc. Elective second time, under obs/gyn consultant direct - she gave me the choice of vaginal or csection and said she’d try to support my choice in either then nearly fainted with relief when I finally chose csection. 100% recommend it, much more controlled and much more attention paid to status of infection etc. I did get an infection, but far easier to manage on your tummy than deep in your vag is my analysis! Half the hospitals in the town had seen my vagina the first time round, mostly with a horrified expression and a ‘how... interesting.’

I could have written Prosecco's post down to the messy first EMCS and second ELCS was like going to the spa. I discharged myself after 24 hours and was fully functional a couple of days later. The best was being able to arrange childcare for DS1 and knowing time and date it would all be happening.

To be honest, my mum will be on holiday and DH isn’t the best at getting things together, I’m the organiser in the house and take care of both of them. We apparently live in the 50s!! So I am worried that I don’t have anyone to help me which is swaying my decision away from Caesarian. A lot of mixed responses about recovery, because what I’ve read is that it takes 6 weeks before you can lift, but that doesn’t seem to be the case for most on here. Wish someone would make the decision for me! Lol
Thank you for all your experiences though, going to read through them all again later, I have got until October to decide.
No more babies after this!! Just the two for me
Hope all your babies are thriving

I'm a week post ELCS and still struggling tbh. I can't walk far and feel pretty crap. My DH is very supportive and is doing pretty much everything. It's surprised me if I'm honest how difficult it's been

OP is it sepsis you are most concerned about? Your overall risk of infection is actually higher with Caesarean compared to VB. It sounds like you had a really tough time last time but sepsis would be incredibly unlikely to happen again, and second births tend to be straightforward, even if you had forceps and lots of intervention last time. I would thoroughly discuss your concerns with your consultant.

I have month old twins and a 2.9yo DS. ELCS this time after an EMCS with first baby. I was up the same day, home at 3 days and had no significant discomfort. I found it a very pleasant and positive experience and cannot imagine that recovery from a VB could have been easier. Best of luck.

It is sepsis I’m most worried about, as I said, a new Mum has just died where I live from it. Consultant did say it would be unlikely for me to get it twice. I’m hoping that Baby will come just before due date and quick so the decision is made for me! Appointment with midwife Monday to discuss it all.
Thank you all again, these forums are incredibly useful

I’m getting more and more terrified by the hour, I’m so frightened of dying when I give birth, it’s taking over everything. Please, I don’t know what to do, I can’t tell the midwife she’ll think I’m crazy. I don’t want to leave my little boy behind, please, what should I do?

Better tell someone in real life. Sounds like you need considerably more help than an online forum can offer.

Please tell your midwife. She won’t think you are crazy at all and she should also be able to help by talking through your fears so you can understand how they are taking steps to (eg) control infection etc. One concrete example is that with an ELCS they do MRSA swabs about a week in advance so they know if you are a carrier and can manage accordingly. She can also talk through what steps you could ask for (many of which may be being done anyway) to make sure that if you are at risk of sepsis it is picked up very fast. Perhaps - any your midwife is the best person to speak with about how practical this is - you could ask for increased post natal observations for you and baby. Maybe that is something you could put in your birth plan? (I usually dislike birth plans but maybe one could be useful here?) After the birth of DC1 as I was an infection risk (waters went early, long horrible labour etc before EMCS) I was monitored every hour for the first 12, including having my temp and pulse taken. That would have allowed them to pick up any issue very quickly - could you ask for that?

Please also talk to your husband. Hopefully he can reassure you that he will - as he should - pull his weight before and after the birth and will be stepping up to deal with DC1 and house stuff so you can recover properly, whatever the type of birth. I know you say he isn’t the organiser usually but if he’s a decent guy then he’ll surely want to make sure your stress is limited and so will want to be more organised now and around the birth.

Could you afford a doula? If so it might be worth considering for the birth - so you are reassured that there is someone 100% focussed on you - and/or postnatally, to help you while you are recovering.

Picking up on one thing you said about c sec recovery - not lifting for 6 weeks - of the 8 women I know who have had CS deliveries plus my two not one was unable to lift stuff for 6 weeks. I was carrying my toddler DC1 relatively comfortably 3 or 3 weeks after DC2’s arrival.

Thank you poppy, you must think I’m a right one! Got in such a state last night. Waiting for midwives to phone me back but I feel like an idiot.
I have written some things down for a birth plan that I’m worried about. Just can’t get it out of my head. Husband said he will make sure he’s much more switched on this time!!!!

Hello,

Just came across your post and wanted to share my experience as I'm in a bit of a similar situation.
I had an EMCS with my first in 2014 which resulted in sepsis and now I've got her at home and need to make a decision regarding VBAC/ ELCS.
I have read the guidance offered by the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (no 45 VBAC Vs ELCS) and it presents risks and benefits for both along with statistics and other relevant data.
Now in my situation, I will go for ELCS because it gives me more control over everything, including childcare. I don't think I could cope with going into labour while on my own at home with my 4year old as she would completely freak out and I always have trouble getting through to my OH at work, meaning I'd have to labour as well as look after a child and I don't think I can do that. Having an ELCS is allowing me the option to bring my parents over for a while to help with everything, meaning that childcare is sorted and I also don't have to worry about my OH being at work as he would know exactly what days to take off etc.

In terms of risk of infection, even though I am anxious about sepsis, I have read about the guidance for ELCS and they do an MRSA test and they also give antibiotics before making the incision. You can also tell your midwife about your past experience and ask for extra blood tests to monitor infection markers and also make sure that all consultants actually check the blood test results at all times and especially before discharging you. To minimise risk of wound infection, it would be helpful to ask your midwife about regular wound dressing after you get home and make sure you keep the area clean and monitor any symptoms that might indicate something is not right.

In terms of childcare options, have a chat with someone at your children's centre as they might be able to advise on childcarers who can take short notice bookings as well as overnight.

I know this is a very worrying time for you but you are doing everything you should be in terms of research and planning ahead, so you will be ok. There's plenty of time for everything to fall into place and worst case scenario you can ask friends or relatives to have your toddler in turns.
If I can help you in any way, drop me a message. I hope you feel better about this soon.

Btw if it helps, ask to get an appointment with the specialised midwife who deals with traumatic birth experiences to see exactly what went wrong last time and what could be done differently.

Best of luck