My "Awful" Birth Story

[SpringChicken]

Hi All, Mears suggested writing everything down about my birth experience so thought i would take her advice and bore you all to tears with it.... here goes.

Water broke 4am Thursday 15th July - rang delivery suite at hospital who said i had to go in so they could confirm waters definitely had broken. Arrived at hopital at 4.30 after DH doing his hair, me ironing his clothes and stopping off at the petrol station for a snack on the way )
Midwife checked me over and confirmed waters had gone but as i wasn't having any contractions could go home.

By 6am contractions were coming every 15 mins or so but only lasting about 20 seconds - stayed at home throughout the morning being entertained by DP, BIL, SIL and MIL - contractions started coming every 4-5 mins lasting 1 min so decided to get off to hospital as advised by midwife.

Arrived at hospital to find i was only 1 cm dialted so they sent me home again - by the time i got to the front door of the hospital was in complete agony and they were comign every 2-3 mins. Got home and put tens machine on but contractions were coming thick and fast - every 2 mins lasting 1 min - so back off to the hospital we went (after about 45 of trying to cope).

Arrived back at the hospital again at about 4.30 ish to looks of "oh no, not you again" from the midwives!
Midwife wouldn't examine me again as it was too soon since last examination so instead she thrust the gas and air at me and told me to use that.
Was making me feel sick and dizzy so gave up on that after about half hour - got to 8pm and contractions were still every 2 mins lasting 1 min so midwife finally examined me - was only 2 cm dialted so was told i must be over exaggerating and things would get much much worse - T'riffic!
By 10p.m couldn't take much more so asked for pethedine (which i had sworn i didn't want)- helped me cope with the contractions better by making me sleep in between.
By 12 midnight was examined again and was 4 cm so begged for an epidural which was all done by 1am - then had 5 hours of bliss - by 6am was fully dilated but not ready to push as Evies head wasn't down enough - decided to start pushing at 7am then midwives swapped shifts at 7.15 and i was given the biggest bitch on 2 legs
She completely ignored me, whilst i was pushing she was chatting away to her student about someone she knew that had chicken pox and left DP to help me all by himself. When she did actually speak to me all she said was "Labour is meant to be hard work you know, that's why it's called labour"................I then proceeded to tell DP (Very loudly) that if he didn't get her out of the room i was likely to swing for her.

After 2 hours of pushing i eventually got the midwife to get the obsteotrician (i think) to come and talk to me - they decided they would do a ventouse delivery. 55 mins later DD was born and delivered on to me then rushed away becuase she was wasn't breathing.

I was screaming at someone to tell me if she was OK because she wasn't breathing or crying but everyone completely ignored me - eventually she started breathing - scored very low on her agpar test.
She was born at 9.55am Friday 16th July and we were left in the room without anyone coming in to check on us until 1pm. I evenutally went to find a midwife to ask them to take my epidural and my drip out so i could have a shower then got taken up to the ward at 2.45.

Had to stay in over night so they could monitor Evie as they thought she may have an ear infection - we were discharged Saturday evening.

By Monday lunch time we were back in the hospital as she had jaundice and had to go under a UV Lamp. Was told they would do a blood test at 7p.m to see if it had improved but it hadn't so she had to go under again and they done another blood test at 3.00 and she finally allowed to come out.
They repeated the blood test again at 3.pm the next day (my birthday) and then finally lt us home.
I'm not even going to go into the abysmal care we received when we got back into the hospital as this post is way too long already but all in all we had an awful experience and i don't doubt for one second that most people receive the same level of care............or was it just because of my age (maybe i am an easy target)!
I have written a letter of complaint, just deciding who is the best person to send it to.

Anyway, thanks for reading (if you got this far) - Mears was right, it feels much better getting that off my chest

poor you, that sounds really awful. unfortunately, there seem to be a number of mws out there who don't want to believe women when they say they are in pain. well done for writing to complain - i wish i had with my first. good on you.

So sorry you had a rough time. Complain, complain and complain to those in authority - you will feel better for having a chance to air your dissatisfaction, and hopefully that midwife will treat her next patients more couteously.

I am glad you have written it down Springchicken. Did you discuss it with your community midwife at all?
Telephone your hospital and ask them to send you the complaints procedure - each hospital has one. I think you have every right to complain. It sounds as though you were not treated with any empathy at all. That is not acceptable in my book. I don't think you should have been sent home when you were in pain, no matter how dilated the cervix was. Waters usually break early when the baby is not in a good position for labour. It means then that labour can be pretty drawn out and painful. Much better to have had attention from a midwife early on than to be sent back home which must have been frightening for you and would have increased your anxiety and pain.
Similar to the thread about treating women like idiots in the labour ward.
The midwife deserves to have her communication behaviour highlighted back to her and that will happen if you complain. Otherwise she will treat others the same. I am sorry to hear you had such a bad time - you sound strong though and i think you will feel better after getting down in writing.

I wrote a letter of complaint to the Chief Executive at the hospital I had my dd at and copied it in to the Community Health Council. Quite a similar situation to yours, waters broke, no contractions for 6 days, slow labour, no drugs/probiotics, no-one seemed to know anything, pushing for 4 hours, went to theatre for forceps only to find that I hadn't fully dilated and had em c/s - 62 hours from start of contractions to finish. I sought advice from CHC who were really brilliant and supportive. Senior Management from hospital, the consultant who attended me and another bod from the hosp came to my house for a meeting to discuss the labour management and the upshot was 4 separate official apologies and the promise of an elective c/s at 37 weeks for next child if I requested to prevent the same thing happening again. It really helped me to put this to bed so to speak. Initially in the hospital the consultant had said when I asked her why they hadn't performed a section earlier "we don't do sections just because the mother is tired you know" and tried to indicate I was suffering from PND.

The funny thing is the midwives who were on my ward after I'd had dd were absolutely brilliant -I loved every single one of them. They totally fussed round dd and kept her in the nursery for the first 2 nights to allow me to sleep properly and used to come in and chat with me.

Springchicken, what a terrible ordeal you and your dd had. You are a star for getting through that. Well done to you for being so strong. And massive congratulations on Evie. Glad you are complaining - hope mw receives appropriate treatment.

Springchicken my experience at DS's birth is very simmilar to yours, the midwifes in the pre-birth ward were great (and maybe they were specially helpful and didn't send me home because I have already complained about how dirty the hospital was and about a midwife making jokes of mothers at labour when being shown the maternity ward and birthiNg rooms).

But when it get to labour it was awful, the labour was long but it took 12 hrs of contractions every 3 min to get 4cm dilated. Even with the drip DS took another 11 hours to get out. His heart beats were going down but nobody seemed to care and finally when the midwife broke the waters they came out with meconium, when I said I was expecting it she had a go at me rather than go and find a doctor. The doctor came, drop a ring at the floor and spend another 2-3 min looking for the stupid ring (and putting her gloved hands all around the floor) before proceediong to take DS out with a ventouse, she later told me that I was not fully dilated (8cm) that there was no way the baby could have go out naturally through that space but they needed to get him out asap. I have a masive episiotomy scar.

Through all pregnancy I insisted in a cesarean as narrow space down there is extreemely common in my family (all cousins and sister have had cesareans for that reason). They dismiss me saying that because I'm tall I wouldn't have the problem (a completely out of date idea as far as I know but unbelievable still in use in the UK).

Springchicken What a terrible time you had but congrats on the arrival of your DD

Springchicken, I practically kept a secret of the way I was treated in hospital with DD until very recently. I think you are fantastic for writing about this, it must have been so terrifying at times. Complaining seems to be a positive thing to do, the people involved really need to be told how detrimental their behaviour was.

Evie is a beautiful name, and congratulations.

Am new to group just tonite actually but I thought I would share with you my birth stories yes plural I went into labour with my first daughter at 26 weeks which as if was not bad enough I had the worst obstetrician around a guy from Malaysia who told me I was stupid an dthere was no way I was in labour he even went so far as to slap my hand and tell me not to be such a silly girl this was back in 96 he then went on to perform an internal with no gloves !!!!!!!!
I was then transferred to another hostpital as i was in actual fact in labour contrary to his opinion my daughter was born at 27 weeks and 4 days weighing wait for it 7lb 4oz and no I did not have my dates wrong she didnt even require special care but I did go on to get the Dr responsible for the no glove internal the sack..........................My second child although born on her due date I also went into labour at 26 weeks delivery delayed by lots of steroid injection which hense made me 23 stone the day I gave birth rather than the sleek 10 and a half stone I was on conception she was however still born comatose and took 16 hrs to be fully resucistaed both girls born by emergency c section nohing but praise for the staff that worked with us in keeping thyem alive now 7 and 4 and complete pains in the ass but worth every second of it.

springchicken.. i get so ANGRY when I hear these stories of awful people working in such a frontline profession with vulnerable people.

Your story is inspiring me to complain about various elements of the birth of dd 5 years ago.. which I still feel traumatised about.

Springchicken, you kick as many butts as needed! I am so sorry you had such an appalling midwife, but am glad you have somewhere to vent spleen - you bend our ears all you like.

More importantly is that all is okay and that you and family are well and enjoying each other. Well done you! (and well done DP for being so ace!) Evie is a cracking name by the way

Similar to my first experience in hospital (though midwife who delivered ds1 in the end was terrific, but all the to-ing and fro-ing whilst in such pain before being finally admitted, and thinking I must be wrong, but at thee same time trying to bear the dreadful pain and thinking if it's this bad now........was very frightening. Dd's arrival wasn't any better and mw was truly awful which is why ds2 was born at home!! Fantastic birth and midwife (a personal friend). Would never go to hospital for giving birth again unless deemed absolutely necessary! Glad you could offload here - wish I'd complained, but at least I know that giving birth can be a wonderful experience and for that I'm v grateful!

That's a good idea Mears had. Glad you're feeling a little better now.

FWIW you expressed things really well in your birth story, so I'm sure it'll be a breeze to get your point across in the letter of complaint.

I'm sure it's not because of your age, though I understand that impulse to blame bad treatment on something about yourself. I think you just had some really dreadful luck with the people who were supposed to be caring for you. Hope you feel better soon.

Springchicken, you poor, poor thing. I would definitely complain. I wish I had after dd1 was born but I was so traumatised and exhausted I couldn't even walk up the stairs in our house after I was discharged. The thing that worries me is that there are other women out there having babies in the same hospital - supposedly one of London's best - that are probably going through the same thing.

I very nearly decided not to have another child. We moved to Australia and I was reassured that I wouldn't have the same problems. My second pregnancy was a lot more complicated but I had excellent care from people that wanted the best for me and the baby. It was wonderful. It actually made me more sad for dd1 that I spent the first couple of months after her birth just recovering. It doesn't have to be like that in this day and age.

SpringChicken ... you poor love ...
What a hideous time you had of it ...
Hugs {{{{{}}}}}

spring chicken much sympathy and hugs{{{{{}}}}}this is an atrocious story i am really sorry it happened to you
i didnt have the best time with the birth of my ds(midwife tried to break my waters twice when they had already gone and left marks on my ds's head) but it wasnt as bad as what has happened to you - you must complain to whoever you can
the hospital will have a complaints proceedure and maybe you could copy the letter you send and give it to the body that governs midwifes too
havent read all thread im sure others have suggested the same thing hth

so sorry you had such a hard time of it SC, glad you are all well now though.

I had a similar kind of thing happen in that my waters went I got sent home but turned around and came straight back as I was in so much pain. On examination I was only 1-2cms and they were going to admit me to the ward but decided against it as I was making too much noise. I felt a complete idiot for screaming and making so much noise but I really couldn't help it the pain was too bad. I kept thinking if this is the start of it I can't cope when it gets going. It was only because I was screaming so much and saying I needed to push that they examined me again and I was 9cms. The midwife apologised afterwards saying no wonder you were screaming you were dilating that quickly.

I feel my body just took over and screaming was my way of dealing with the pain but I was made to feel so stupid. It all worked out in the end though and I have a beautiful DD.

Awful is the word for this disgraceful tale, especially when Evie was rushed off not breathing, I would have been hysterical .

Definitely complain complain and complain again.

And why do women have to beg for pain relief?? Really annoys me .

xxxxxxxxxxx

Which hospital was it?

Hi Springchicken. I haven't read the whole thread but feel sure there will be lots of people advising you to complain and I agree. It's so wrong that you had such an awful experience, I'm sorry.

What a horrible time you've had - I am sooo sorry that you had such an awful experience. I'm glad that you are writing to complain.

I've come into this quite late (been on hols!) and really sympathise. Haven't read all the responses, but you must must must complain. Write to the hospital chief exec. Be very matter of fact. It is very grim, but there was recently a case reported in the media of a lady who died after childbirth because she was left for several hours without being checked. It is a very serious issue. Also, after birth of DD two ladies I met on Post Natal Course wrote to complain about a particular midwife we had ALL had experience of, and she was later dismissed for bad patient care - and she sound like a cross between mother superior and flo nightingale compared with your MW.

Hope all's well now.

Remember - it is your right to good care for you and your DD. So if you need to go to hosp again, calmly remind them of this and if necessary insist on seeing someone more senior (Staff Nurse or Sister) and make a verbal complaint straight away backed up in writing later.

Take care of eachother.