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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

C-Sections - urgent advice needed.............sorry long

29 replies

PreggieMum · 09/08/2004 09:50

I am 11 weeks pregnant and am now really scared.

DD1 was born in March 2004 by emergency caesarian section.

I was in labour for 38 hours, was examined and told I had got to 10cm dilated and was feeling quite a lot of pressure. The midwife who was with me at the time told me that I was ready to push, but had a slight anterior lip? which they should be able to push it out of the way. A second midwife was then called in along with the registrar.

The second midwife examined me again - I'm not sure why and agreed with the first midwife that there was a slight anterior lip, but agreed that I was ready to push.

The registrar then called both midwives out of the room - did not say anything to me.

They all then returned and I was told by the registrar that I would have to have an emergency c-section and that if he let me continue naturally I could be there for days and that the baby would get distressed and could die.

I was then in floods of tears and agreed to the c-section and was taken to theatre almost immediately.

After the birth I was advised by a different midwife that we should not start trying for a baby for at least 2 years. (We had always wanted to have 2 babies with no more than a 2 year gap between them. The ideal gap for us would have been 18months.)

At my 6 week check my doctor asked what we were planning with regard to having another baby so that he could help me decide on an appropriate contraception. I explained to him that we were originally planning on trying for another baby fairly soon, but because of the c-section we had been advised by the midwife to wait at least 2 years.

His response was this:
"What rubbish. This kind of scaremongering is completely unnecessary nowadays."

He advised me to wait at least a month before we started trying to conceive (this was to allow csection wound time to finish healing and also to try and lose a bit of weight).

I felt that I trusted my doctor completely. He has always been very helpful and all of his diagnoses/advice has always been correct in the past.

However.... we took his advice and started TTC after the months wait. I became pregnant the first month of trying and am now 11 weeks. I have now had my first appointment with my midwife and she said what on earth was I doing and hadn't I been advised not to start trying for at least 2 years.

I was too upset to continue talking with her so ended up leaving the appointment early and she didn't seem to be able to explain why I should have waited for the 2 years.

Does anyone know who is right?

If it's the midwife that's correct what problems am I likely to encounter? I really don't want to have to have an abortion as this baby is really wanted. Is the risk to me or is it to the baby?

Sorry for rambling...Any advice would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
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PreggieMum · 10/08/2004 10:25

Okay - a quick update. I called the midwife back and all she wanted was to reschedule some time with me to finish my booking appointment (as I ended up walking out early from yesterday's appointment).

She clearly wasn't going to volunteer an apology, so I did as mears had suggested and explained to her how she had made me feel.
She tried to make a joke of it and made a comment - something along the lines of it being one of the downsides to her job upsetting mums to be!!!

Anyway, I made an apointment with her for next Wednesday, so perhaps she will be more apologetic then.

I'm really not impressed with her so far, but at least the likelihood of having her at the birth is very small.

I wouldn't feel comfortable without having antenatal appointments, as I couldn't forgive myself if something went wrong that could have been picked up and prevented by the midwife and as she is the only midwife at our surgery I'll have to put up with her.

If she acts like this again, I think I may try talking with my doctor to see if it's possible to have antenatal checkups with him instead.

OP posts:
titchy · 10/08/2004 17:22

I was told to aim for an 18+ month gap, but only to ensure dd was walking as I woudn't be able to pick up her up for 6 weeks after another CS, and that another CS was a fiarly high possibility. Perhaps that's what they meant?

mears · 10/08/2004 17:28

Well done PreggyMum for calling her back and also for telling her how you felt. You are right about having your antenatal care from the doctor if that makes you more comfortable, however, you may well get more out of midwife visits. See how your next appointment goes. She may well be much better with you and I would hope she would make an extra effort to put you at your ease.

Demure · 16/08/2004 17:03

PreggieMum, I had some "disagreements" with my midwife, mainly about her flexibility (or rather lack of it) around appointments.....I received all my Antenatal care from my GP and the hospital, until today I'm 38 weeks, finished work and able to see the Midwife (worse luck ) My GP has been fantastic, if not a little out of practice, and said he really enjoyed seeing me as pregnant women are happy to be at the surgery. I would seriously consider asking your GP about antenatal care with him.

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