Repeat section or VBAC? Advice please

[pucca]

This is for my cousin, she is due with 2nd baby in July and is torn as to want to do so could really use the advice please ladies.

1st birth she went into labour and had a epidural (which i think may have contributed) ended up wasn't dilating any further and baby's heartbeat dipped quite badly and didn't pick back up so she was rushed in for a emergency section, which she had a bad time with so is anxious about having another.

This time around she has been told she can have another section if she wants or she can go for a normal delivery...what does everyone think?

1st baby wasn't small as was 8lb 9oz.

I have told her that a elective section is a much calmer,nicer experience (been through one myself lately), but then if it was me i think i would try for a VBAC and just not go for a epidural (can slow or stop contractions) but i don't know lol.

Has anyone been in this situation and can you say what you chose and your opinion if you did the right thing please?

Thanks i will print this off to let her read afterwards.

i can believe it..my first birth, which was not 1 /10th as bad as yours. made me cry for years afterwards x try writing it all down , that can really help..even if you throw the story away afterwards, it can get you closer to closure ( don;t like that word, but it is appropriate!)

My 1st labour was very similar to your cousin's 1st. I was induced had an epidural, stopped dilating, baby got stressed and ended up with an emergency c-section. Except my daughter was only 4lb 6oz. (I was induced because she'd stop growing)

My 2nd pregnancy I was set on having a VBAC, I really didn't want another c-section. I didn't go to the same hospital to have my 2nd, so I had a different doctor. After a difficult pregnancy I ended up with another emergency c-section. At the time I was very dissapointed I wasn't going to have the birth I wanted, but later I found out it was a blessing.

During the c-section my OB found that they had torn me during my last c-section and I had extra scar tissue on my uterus that she didn't know was there. My uterus retore during my 2nd c-section. If I had gone into labour my uterus wouldn't have handled it and more then likely ruptured.

So knowing what I know now I'm glad I had the 2nd c-section even though the recovery sucked. But if my uterus had been in better condition I would've loved to try a VBAC.

lullyballoo, as lulumama suggested you should definitely check out the birth trauma websit. IMO you show all the symptoms of PN PTSD. I had it after a dreadful birth experience w/ ds1. I was on medication for 3 years and in therapy for 1 1/2. I finally feel mostly recovered and have actually just had ds2.

Which brings me back to OP. The only way that I could face another birth was by elective section. I couldn't bear the thought of having yhings go so horribly out of control. I have been thrilled w/ how much easier things have gone this time around.

thanks too Jabberwocky x
So much bottled up for so long.
I will check out the birth trauma website when d.s goes down for his nap.
I did try last night but d.h was very negative-he's of the mind that it was awful, but it's ancient history and we have a beautiful d.s so get over it!
I've suddenly realised though that I really do need to talk about everything that we went through to help me to move on and maybe one day think about another child.

Yo Jabber... did I miss the arival of baby number 2? So glad it went well for you. I felt the same way about my second section, which was of course planned.

Welcom Little Jabber 2

Hey, uwila! Good to see you. Yes, it was sooo much better this time around. Ironically, it did go slightly off schedule as my water broke early. But, since everyone was on the same page as far as the elective I just went straight on to the hospital and he was out in short order

pucca, I haven't read the rest of the thread, so apologies if this is repeated...

As background, I had DS1 by section (but for breech, not birth complications), and DS2 by VBAC, without epidural or any pain relief really (too fast... and too late by the time I was asking for an epi...!).

I think VBAC does have several advantages:

I found that the pain, although excrutiating for the contractions during the time I was pushing (20 mins), went away immediately after he was born.

The recovery from the VBAC (and I had lots of stitches...) was much quicker than from the section. I was up and about and on my feet very quickly, which was great with a toddler to take care of as well as a baby.

I found breast feeding much easier to establish - this might have been because it was second time round, or DS2 wasn't a sleepy c-section baby, I don't know.

Anyway, I was really worried before, and nearly went for the elective section. My consultant basically said that if I tried for a VBAC, they would monitor me really carefully during labour, so that at the first sign of any difficulty, I could make a decision to go for the section. It's probably worth your cousin talking to the consultant about this. The thing I was most scared of was a long, difficult labour and an emergency section at the end. He said that they just wouldn't let that happen to me.

Sorry this is rather long!

Lullabyloo, therapy was the only thing that got me able to consider another pregnancy. I highly recommend doing cognitive behavior therapy. I also went through a couple of studies on PN PTSD. It was really helpful to write down my story in a constructive atmosphere IYKWIM.

Also, I even posted it on MN even though it was over 2 years later! The feedback and support was incredible and essential to my recovery, I now realize. There were also several very kind MNer's who emailed me personally. I'd be happy to talk with you offline if you would like. If you want to and don't have CAT let me know and I will CAT you.

You are a sweetheart Jabberwocky.
I am a bit of a novice so not really sure how CAT works but would love to talk to you.

Yeah, Jabber is lovely.

CAT her by clicking on "Contact Another Talker" at the top of this webpage.

And,Jabber, point me to a birth announcement, please.

can second jabberwocky's advice re therapy

i found my emergency terribly distressing afterwards and i believe this triggered a very long and serious bout of PND..which was resolved ( after a long time) with medication, counselling, CBT and other help....

however your future children arrive it is so important to deal with the issues surrounding previous births..having healthy children is obviously the main priority,but how your babies arrive can have a positive/ negative impact on you and your psyche for a long time..

emergency c.section, that should read!

All the friends I made at antenatal have had second children now.Other friends are on their third or fourth child.
I wince every time I am asked 'when's the next one due?'
I was a Nanny for sixteen years previously so it was presumed I would go forth and multiply at an alarming rate.It took me ten years to conceive d.s & six pregnancy tests and one scan to actually believe I was carrying him.
My pregnancy had it's problems but it was a dream for me-an experience I didn't imagine I would ever have.
Tonight I am going to try & write my story down as Jabberwocky suggested.If I'm brave enough I will try and post it tomorrow.So much has happened to me in the last few years,this is the first step I guess to getting back to where I want to be.
Thanks everyone x

Feel free to post it hereon Mumsnet , Lull. You will probably find out that you are not alone. And you will definately find some sympathetic ears.

Here you go, uwila

Here you go, uwila

you are absolutely not alone...at all.......would be honoured to read your story i/ when you feel ready to post.

thanks lulumama
it's so lovely to know that there is support out there.It means a lot..