Birth centre vs hospital - first pregnancy (long)

[MossletoeAndWine]

Firstly apologies in advance. I feel like I've hijacked everyone else's threads about this and have even gone on about it in the bar, on my ante natal thread, goodness knows where else.

Secondly apologies again. This is going to be a bit post and run I'm afraid. I'm off to get ready for work in a mo and won't be able to post again until lunch time or thereabouts.

All that out of the way, I basically need a bit of a hand.

It's my first pgcy, I'm due in March, and I have two options. The hospital I've chosen to give birth in has a midwife-led birthing centre, and obviously a hospital too.

Before I knew anything about birth, I was actually thinking of asking for a c-section because I had heard so many horror stories about vaginal birth. Then I heard of an epidural, and thought, well, I'll go for that.

But now I'm thinking of doing it relatively naturally.

I want to know: really, just how painful is it? I mean, what is the pain like? As bad as breaking a bone for example? Or much worse?

I have had a few recommendations for books (and have bought Sheila Kitzinger & plan to buy Ina May's guide to childbirth) but if you had a natural birth, what helped you get through it?

How likely is it that I could even have a natural birth, I mean, how often do people get the birth they want?

Am I being silly? Should I just go with the epidural in the hospital and leave the birth centre well alone?

As dh will be my main birth partner, what sort of things does he need to know if I have a natural birth?

Thanks everyone, and I also promise that after this thread I will make a decision and stop boring people about it.

My top tip is to keep an open mind. There is no simple answer to any of your questions, because it is so different for every woman.

The pain for me was the worst pain imaginable, so bad that I actually wanted to die. But I met a woman last week who had had a totally natural first birth and said she "never felt any pain" . The trouble is, until you've done it, you don't know which of the 2 extremes you'll be in, or, more likely, somewhere in the middle.

You might have a successful natural birth - after all, lots of women do. But don't feel a failure if you don't, because some women's bodies actually can't do it (mine couldn't). Put yourself in a position where a natural birth is the likeliest outcome, but also don't cut off the option of an epidural or access to medical intervention.

this goes to show do not have any pre conceived ideas about your pain threashold.
For instance, I had pain relief free births but begged for co codamol afterwards for after pains FFS!
I also believe that you cna mentally secure yourself a better birth
Like kitty am happy to email or talk ofline to you Moss

me three !!!

lulumama 21 @ hotmail .com

or CAT me

xx

Right finally got five minutes away from working to reply - thank you everyone for your help, and your messages. I am going to go for it, but with the caveat that if it does all get too much for me the hosi is just across the corridor and I can have pain relief there in the form of an epidural.

They do have gas and air in the birth centre, along with a birthing pool, although I am not getting my hopes up on the latter, because you don't know who is using it on the day.

Dh and mil both want to be at the birth with me and I would like them to be there; do you think it would still be worth looking into a Doula? (well, a trainee as I could possibly run to the £150 but not the £500 - trying to pay off all my stupid debts before mat leave!!)

Once again many thanks to all of you for replying. Kitty I have your phone number on my email I will call you at weekend if that's okay? Lulumama thanks for your email I probably will take you up on that, Piff, I don't have CAT yet (will do it on payday) but if you send me a blank one to msrlmoss @ hotmail . com I will reply.

Thank you all so much!!!

Mossy, of course, phone, it will be lovely to chat. If the answer phone's on leave your number and I'll phone you back x

Are you really REALLY REALLY close to your MIL?
You might need to poo, swear, get very naked...
You have to be really comfy with who is in the room or it will inhibit you.

Yes, my relationship with her is very strong, basically she has been even more than a Mum to me since I got kicked out by my real parents about seven years ago, she has had to do the work of a Mum and a mil, iyswim!

Don't mind if she sees me poo myself, and she swears like a trooper herself! She has seen me naked already, when I was sunbathing in the buff!

I have made so many posts exacty the same as this - expecting my first, wanting to go to a Birth Centre, not sure if I was making the right decision etc etc

Well - I've just had my first baby in a birth centre (30 November) with practically no pain releif other than a few half hearted puffs at gas and air (it tasted funny and I was scared it would make me sick so I didn't use it!)

The pain was very bad, it was a very intense backache which just gripped my whole body and for a while I didn't think i would be able to stand it and would need an epidural.

The problem with me was that my waters went early in the morning and leaked all day. Contractions didn't start till about 3om and then they were very intense - we went to the Birth Centre at 4pm and I was told I was only 1.5cm dilated. I went back in agony at 7pm (couldn't take the pain and wanted some gas and air or something) to be told I was still only 1.5cm and was sent home.

By 10pm I was crying out for pain releif and my Other Half rang the birth centre at a loss with what to do with me. A kind midwife said that although I shouldn't really be admitted until I was in active labour (and the exam 3 hours previous had shown I wasn't), as it was quiet she'd find me a bed for the night and give me some G&A.

So back down we went. By this point I was shivering and shaking and my body giving little pushes with every contraction.

She put me to bed with some G&A (which I hardly used) and sent my other half home. She said she wouldn't examine me again but I should try and get some rest. I told her that I could feel my body giving pushes and she said that I couldn't be and that she'd examine me to show me that I wasn't.

Her face changed when she examined me! I was 7cm dilated! she got straight on the phone to my other half and called him back!

Our little boy was born about an hour later! I had a fantastic labour, very quick, no tears, stitches, episiotomies etc etc. We didn't even have time to fill the birthing pool for me to have my planned waterbirth!

The crux of it is that although the pain was bad, my body seemed to know what it was doing and the fact that I wasn't doped up to the eyes with pethidine or an epidural probably meant that he was born a lot quicker and more easily. Drugs do make you feel very doped up and can slow your labour down. Also the reason my contractions were so intense was because my waters had gone - if they break later, in labour, the pains are not so intense, or so I've been told.

Plus after having my baby I walked down the hall to my own little room, there was only me and one other woman in the birth centre that night. No noisy wards!

Go for natural birth. You can always change your mind at the last minute but a natural birth is so much better! I'm so glad I had one!

Hey Moss

As you know from the March thread, it's my first time too so I can't give you any advice at all about what the pain is like. I just wanted to say, as someone in the same situation as you - ie not knowing what the hell we've let ourself in for , I'm going to aim for the "as natural as possible" birth initially and try to have the baby at home with a birthing pool, with stocks of gas and air, and pethidine just in case, although I'd rather not use it if I can avoid it. My reasons are these: I had bad experiences with heavy painkilling drugs last year when I was ill and am keen to keep away from them if possible; I had a four-hour gynaecological operation last year which took me months to recover from and if possible want to avoid surgery, even though a Caesarian shouldn't (in theory) be as difficult to get over as that. From what I've read and noted from other people's labours, opting for an epidural makes intervention and ultimately a CS more likely. I also think I'll be more relaxed at home. I'm lucky in that I've got the example of my sister who had both her kids at home (and my mum had two of her three children at home too) - my other sister who had her first child in hospital with an epidural right from the start ended up having a ventouse delivery.

Having said all that, I'm sure there are loads of people who've had perfectly good births with epidurals and who knows, I may end up being one of them! In the end, as everyone else has rightly said, it's where and how you feel the most comfortable/safe/confident that matters. As the MW unit is in the same hospital, so there's no transfer issues, then I'd say you've got nothing to lose by going there, because you'll be able to swap over pretty quickly if you decide you want the epidural option after all. I think the thing that has swayed me towards home birth is that I know I can have everything prepared here ready - as you say about the MW unit, even if there is a birthing pool there, you can only get in it if it's free - I don't know if I'd feel comfortable taking that chance as that is what I'm relying on to help with the pain (and hopefully good breathing technique)!

Have you been to visit any of these places yet? I get taken around both the MW led unit and the consultant led as part of my ante-natal classes which is great in case I have a change of heart on the home birth front and go for MWLU or if I end up needing to go to the consultant unit if things get complicated.

Sorry to have rambled on, but selfishly it helps me too to think about these things!

KRabbit I did actually read your story on the birth announcements, so glad you got the birth you wanted! It is really inspiring to hear the stories of people who have done it and it has been okay, although it is a good job that the midwife checked how dilated you were and didn't just send you home again!!!

Callieco I have been to the hospital, for all my scans and the like, but haven't been round the birth centre yet; I know that a tour is included as part of the antenatal classes that they do, they are done by the mws who work at the birthing centre.

Part of me likes the idea of a home birth, sounds so silly but the thing I'd find most comforting would actually be having the pets round me!! And who knows if this goes well, I might opt for it second time around!!

Who is going to be your birth partner then? And where are you having your classes, are you going to sign up for those NCT ones?

Hey if you want to compare birth plans (I haven't done one just yet but I will do soon...) you can email me, msrlmoss @ hotmail . com

I would save that postive thinking and information/education regardign childbirth are the 2 most important things a woman can do for herself to achieve a natural birth. Women tend to find it hurts more if they're scared/afraid, and the less informed they are then the more scared they're likely to be. Definetly go to antenatal classes. Obviously the help and support/reassurance from a good midwife helps. As do doulas!

As well as the gas and air and water theres planty of other stuff for pain relief - TENS, massage, different positions, breathing, staying calm and focused.

Good luck