To push or not to push, that is the question.

[PrettyCandles]

Is it really possible to 'breathe' the baby out without doing any active pushing?

I had an unberable urge to push before I was even fully dilated - that was the most horrendous pain of my life i think! I had an epidural after a couple of days of labour but it was marvellous and actually allowed me to regain control. I had been listening to the Gentle birth method cds leading up to labour and I actually think that really helped me once I had the epidural because I visualised everything that was going on inside and visualised my body pushing him out - apparently I was a champion pusher

I had my first baby this year at home in a pool, and went to hypnobirthing classes beforehand (with one other couple, so a pretty small class really). I found it really useful throughout the birth (had no pain relief), but when we got to 2nd stage (which only lasted 20 mins) I completely forgot about my 'birth breathing' which I had been carefully practising on the loo, as I just could not resist the powerful primal urge to 'bear down' with each 'surge'. I felt as though I was definitely pushing, but I was also very relaxed in between each surge (chatting to midwives and listening to my CD). I moo-ed for britain too.

FWIW I had one minor tear (no stitches), and the midwife didn't examine me (for dilation) at any stage of the proceedings. I do remember that ring of fire though - probably no worse than a very bad case of constipation!

Judemum - a lot of the effectiveness of the hypnobirthing comes from doing lots and lots of practising at home in between classes, so although the classes are worthwhile (gives you a chance to ask lots of questions) if you are feeling the pinch financially you could probably get away with just using the books and CDs.

I hadn't heard of hypnobirthing, but I think I did a do it yourself version anyway when I has DS2. I'd had such a horrendous medical intervention total loss of control birth with DS1 that I was really focused on trying to stay calm and keep the control for myself. I practised being in labour (sounds v odd I know) visulised mental images I would use and kind of invented my own breathing pattern that I would use (loosely based on recollections from a class from DS1's birth), and blow me down all this actually worked!! I did use my blue peter type techniques and having prepared them earlier seemed to have helped. I retained control, had no drugs, intevention or tears, left hospital 4hrs later and felt a huge sense of acheivement and elation. Sooooo differnet from DS1!

I have to say though that I only probably managed this as whole thing only lasted about 7hrs and i kept progressing so always felt like i was getting somewhere. I didn't have that awful feeling of hopelessness whre you feel like you might as well give up trying and can't take anymore. Everytime is different, and it's GREAT if you can do it yourself but if you don't DO NOT beat yourself up over it, it's NOT a competition.

As my mother told me, they're not handing medals out on the wards.

regarding OP , it is .
i never 'pushed' as such my body just seemed to expel baby iyswim? it did most of the hard work for me . i just breathed so i wasnt tense and didnt pass out

also she was my third and quite big at 8lb 6oz. never tore and was never examined.

dd2 i cant remeber any of it . 4 hours from start to finish, got to hsp at 8cm and then i switched off . woke up after she had been delievered. it was like i had been abducted whilst pushing iyswim.

first - well 21 hours gas and air, pethindine, epidural , failed ventouse the episiotomy and forceps . i was 15 and was in and out of conciousness i think !!!!

I didn't consciously push DS3 out at all.

I was panting & trying to get the midwife to look my way as I had the gas and air tube in my mouth and could feel him coming. She seemed to think my bashing on the bed to get her attention was my way of dealing with the pain and consequently didn't look around! Eventually I took the tube out of my mouth and shrieked 'excuse me', by which time my body was about to push him out. There was no way I could have stopped my body pushing - and he had ideas of his own anyhow! I was vertical, which made a huge difference.

With DS1 and DS2, there were various times that my body was pushing on autopilot, but I had to push for the final bit (they were being monitored both times, so I was lying down).

Crayon

Forgot to say, the 'pushing bits' (stage 2?) were v short with DS2 and DS3 - 9 mins and 7 mins respectively. So, that might have something to do with it.

Crayon

I agree with the mumsnetters who say they didn't consciously push. With DD2 who I had at home I said to the midwife, in my 'i;m not really here, out of body type mind' way - 'right, i think I need to push, what shall I do' and she said 'just do what your body tells you to do', which was pretty much the sum total of her input which was great. So I did exactly that. I didn't ever feel I was struggling to push, just going with the flow iykwim.

An additional fact which my hypnobirthing teacher shared with us - even women in comas have managed to give birth, so surely that is evidence that your body can just get on and do what it needs to do, without any active effort on your part.

An additional fact which my hypnobirthing teacher shared with us - even women in comas have managed to give birth, so surely that is evidence that your body can just get on and do what it needs to do, without any active effort on your part.

sounds amazing! I had to push as they had the ventouse ready and waiting as DS was in distress. He had his hand up round his ear, so that's why it was so painful... However, I couldn't push when there wasn't a contraction(had to stop with his head half out as the contraction ended) - is that the same thing - my body was definitely telling me when to push and when to stop.

I distinctly remember trying NOT to push with dd1 but she still came out - my body was doing the pushing on it's own so as far as just breathing is concerned - uncontrolled pushing and lots of shouting were more my thing!! I didn't want to be one of the 'yowling' ones but there you go.

My body did it by itself for DS (my second child). I had a very quick labour and then the pushing just happened - I didn't have to join in at all. It was fabulous!

Same experience as Clairemow. I was terrified of tearing with my dd so was trying not to actively push. Then the MW actually told me not to push - made no difference anyway, impossible to stop the contractions. Later on she told me to push when I was in between contractions, but that was equally impossible, just had to wait for the next. I did quite a lot of moo'ing in stage 2 too. Vomited everywhere. Not sure about the breathing.

I did not push at all with my dd 1 & neither did I have any real urge to push. Depending how you look at it - my labour was not ideal - stuck on antenatal ward awaiting m/w to examine me. But in 4 hours went from 'not in labour' to giving birth to baby, using only TENS machine & breathing through contractions, blowing kids bubbles worked for me. I could feel head descending at which point M/W took notice & moved me to labour ward. I told m/w didn't really have urge to push so she left room to get heart monitor before examining me & with next contraction head came out with jsut my heusband in room.

In my antenatal classes they told us to blow into the top of a fist as this would help us to bear down - is this the kind of breathing that you are supposed to do?

No pushing here, no special breathing either. I was actually yelling "I'm not pushing" most of the way in a desperate attempt to make it to the hospital! (Alternating with a few rude words and phrases like "slow down there's a speed camera" and "go faster now") I'm a bit of a back seat driver!

I had no urge to push with either of my children. The first one, like BeckyBraStraps, I kind of screwed up my face and tried to do what I think what pushing but I wasn't really sure what I was doing and I don't think the midwives were impressed either. Very large baby came out with ventouse at end. Gas and air only.
With second one, I still had no urge to push, but kind of realised it'd go on for ages if I didn't, so really tried hard and it HURT much more cos I was pushing - but all happened much quicker - about 6 hours compared to 24+ last time!

With DD I'd been walking hospital corridors for 18 hours contracting every 3 mins waters not broken (was admitted cos I was bleeding night before) Midwife asked how I was feeling i cried and told her I wasn't going to have the baby I'd stay pregnant forever (she sent me through to labour ward, so I could have gas and air) at 3.5cm dilated they broke my waters to help things along. 20 minutes later I was screaming that I didn't care what my birth plan said - I wanted pethdine, MW examined me the head was crowning!!! Student MW delivering DD was great saying that she would help me to go with the flow rather than direct me.

Well, I did it - I gave birth to ds2 with virtually no pushing, and therefore much less damage to myself. Thanks to this thread, and all your amazing stories!

I delivered in the birthing pool, and, although it was shallower than I'd have liked, it gave me enough support to kneel up and let gravity help, and enough pain-relief that I could 'listen' to my body and go with its flow. Resisting the urge to push was easier than I had expected. (I remember it being utterly overwhelming with dd.) I felt my body pushing, and somehow knew when I should actively push with it, and when I should let go. I felt the stretching burn very clearly (but not actually painfull this time), and breathed through it. I made a lot of noise - no inhibitions!

I was also very unco-operative with the poor midwife, who really did support us well. But this thread really gave me the courage to follow my own instincts.

with DS2 I had a sudden urge to push (tbh - I thought I was doing a poo!) and the MW asked me if I was pushing. She hadn't examined me yet - only been there 10 mins or so! I said I didn't know! With DS1 I had an epidural and forceps so I didn't really know what pushing felt like.

Hopefully for next time (Feb) I woyld like to be able to go with the urges rather than pushing when I'm told.

Perttycandles - was your MW trying to get you to push?

It's all a bit fuzzy, but I think she was, at certain times. But I think also that she saw I was in my own zone and getting on with it, so she left off trying to direct me and concentrated on doing for me the things that I was struggling with - like keeping my bum underwater .

Between contractions she wanted to get bump's heartbeat, but I wanted to stay down in the water were she coulnd't use the thingy.

Message withdrawn

think I will have a chat with my MW when I see her next about all this - I'm sure she would be supportive (and not think I was crazy to suggest it!)