Considering having a 3rd

[gold123]

I don't whether I'm mad or not, have a boy and girl 6 & 4 and are seriously considering a third. 2nd just about to start school, so I will be getting my life back, just started a new job, so you would think I was happy. I just can't see my life without another. I can think of 100 reasons not to have one, but only 1 to have one - I want one ! has anybody got the same age gap, how have you found it - I just don't know anybody with the same experience. Also my family keep saying that anybody who has three are mad - I don't feel as if I have there support. Incedentially I am one of three, so that makes me feel great when my own Mum says I was a mistake. My husband really wants one, so I guess I have the only support I really need. I need hope that it won't destroy the relationships I have with my other two.

Agree three is fab, despite the constant tiredness etc - I love it and wouldn't have had it any other way. Definitely not ready for a fourth though. Mine are ds1-6, dd-4 and ds2-9months and still bfx2 a day! Having four kids isn't what puts me off, it's the pregnancy and bf-ing - just don't think I want to put myself through it again - have had a difficult time of it healthwise this year and mostly baby related - just don't think I could really...........

Don't do it!!!!!

If you want another one, go for it. Mine are dd-10yrs, ds-7yrs and dd 14mths. Dh was 44 when dd2 was born, and although she wasn't planned (I didn't even realise I was pg until I was about 15/16 weeks) he loves her to bits and has bonded with her better than he did with the eldest 2.

thanks for your thoughts.... acer - why not - how many have you got? why do you say that?

hello love
i say go for it at the end of the day its your choice and if you and your partner are ready for one more then thats all that counts i have three children my eldest is nearly five and my youngest is sixteen months and im a single parent and to this day i would have at least one more having my children in my life is what keeps me going so what ever you decide i wish you all the luck im sure what ever you decide it will be the rite one take care

I had my third 5 weeks ago and although it's early days yet and broken nights are a killer, I'd say going from 2 to 3 is a lot easier than 1 to 2. For me I think it's because the older two can entertain and play with each other which allows me more time to breastfeed and do for the new baby - when there is only one older child you have to entertain them as well as the baby. I found third pregnancy easier for the same reasons.

and we agonised about having a third and now he is here we wonder what all the fuss was about! Seems like he's been here forever.

And Skate if I was younger I would definitely go for four so don't think you're mad at all.

I know loads of people who have had a third when their older two were a similar age to yours. If I'd had the choice that is the sort of age gaps I would have preferred as you can give the baby plenty of attention when the others are at school, they can have their naps in peace, etc. Because of fertility probs between my first and second child mine are 7, 3 and eight months so the baby is always being dragged along when I have to take my 7 year old to swimming lessons, picking up the toddler from preschool, etc so often only has catnaps. I always wanted three (though I waivered a bit after the second) but now I know my family is complete. You have to go with your heart on this and they are only babies for a short while. I must say both our families seemed to be surprised that we went for a third and I think they wondered if it was unplanned! I don't know why but I sometimes feel that people seem to think there is an unwritten rule theses days that you should only have two??

I'm actively ttc no 3 and my kids are 2yrs 2months and 8 months. Listen to your heart, not what everyone else says.

Have to say that I have found 3 incredibly hard work, much worse than I thought it would be. I love DS2 so much I wouldn't want to be without him, but then, if I had never been without him, would I miss him? Was it worth a rotten pregnancy, going thru childbirth and a year of sleepless nights again? Hmmm... tough call.

I'd be really interested to hear from parents wit three children or more who work and how they cope with it. I work and so does my partner although we have flexible and part time working so in reality one of us is at home with the children for three out of five days a week. But it all seems so hard logistically with just two I am not sure how we'd cope with another one. DS has just started school and that seems to have made everything so much more complicated - what with the childcare plus the children are in two different places now rather than one nursery.

Founnd a childminder who lives close 2 the school & can take/fetch the eldest 2/from school. Minimising the running around was a top priority for me, too.