Sick with anxiety re c-section, please help

[whatwasIthinkingof]

I might be having first c-section in 3 weeks’ time and am terrified. Consultant has worried the hell out of me by talking about bleeding and people dropping dead after surgery because of the immobility and the general risks of surgery.

Can anyone say about their experience of the spinal block as this really scares me – for how long did you have total loss of sensation in your legs and feet? How did you cope with this psychologically? And how long after the op did it take for even the tiniest bit of sensation to return and where was this, ie toes or higher up?

I am worried I will get really panicky when I start to lose sensation in my legs and know that I can’t do anything about it. Can they give you anything for anxiety alone to help with this? Was there gas and air available? Any strategies anyone has used to help calm themselves down?

Also when they put the cannula in your hand was this painful at all?

Any advice/tips on coping would really help.

I am very very grateful to the (female) registrar who told me and DH just before she went off shift that the incoming consultant would try and persuade me to have a VB despite the unstable lie and stalled induction. She said it was entirely up to me but in my place she would not hesitate to go for the ELCS. I did it, and have not regretted it. I would have preferred a second VB but was not prepared to risk an EMCS.

It isn't just about the birth itself-it is about the time before and after. If you know you're having an ELCS, you won't spend weeks or months dreading labour. If you have an ELCS, you may well have an easier time after birth than a VB with complications (which must be a risk here).

It is so easy to dictate what should happen when you are not the one risking or undergoing anything.

Sorry, I didn't see your comment on this before. I've not been around so much lately.

I've spent several years looking into the subject and more to the point, the politics of it, for my own personal reasons, and have followed how the debate has progressed. I have massive issues with anxiety and a lack of trust in doctors to the point where it has deeply affected me as well as a number of other connected issues. It was stopping me from even thinking about having a child, never mind trying for one (I don't have kids at all). So you completely have my sympathy with this.

I've found the whole thing quite shocking and quite disturbing as to how much the debate has been politicised and how much agendas are being put above and before the welfare of the mother (or in my case potential mother). There is a massive difference in attitude from one hospital to the next, with the main issue being that most medics just don't seem to have a clue about the subject or what to do with women who have issues like this. The crux of it is, that many simply don't recognise the problem, nor do they want to acknowledge it.

NICE updated their guidelines in 2011, precisely because of the wide disparity of care, for women in your position and my position. The idea was that they realised this was a major issue that needed to be addressed and that the system before was failing women. In truth, not a great deal has changed, and in some places, certain NHS Trusts have actively dug their heels in against the guidance issuing policy in direct conflict with the guidance. The main argument - finance - not the welfare of women. Which is utterly appalling. Especially when the guidance explicitly states that this should not be used as an argument against allowing women to have an ELCS.

The NICE guidance stressed the point that women should be allowed to have a ELCS if they wanted one, without question, but they should be supported in a way that allowed them to build trust with their healthcare providers. Ultimately its this trust, that is the thing that has broken down in a lot of cases and why a lot of women feel that they need to go down the ELCS route, because of their previous experiences. Ironically the attitude of your consultants and midwives is liable to have the effect of worsening, not improving that trust, because they are applying the level of pressure they are to you and putting you in a position where you feel that they are not listening to your needs and concerns. They are feeding the problem not helping it. The NICE principle was to give women the room and space to make their own decisions; not be forced into counselling and not to feel as if they are somehow weak or difficult for making that decision.

I've finally had the courage to act on the information I've found. I managed to find a hospital that has publicly talked about the subject and seemed to have a positive attitude to putting mental health on the agenda, and after some problems, managed to get a referral there (took me 6 months as due to me not being pregnant, I don't fit into their nice neat healthcare pathways).

I'll paraphrase the words of the consultant I've seen recently, that 'some women have additional needs when it comes to anxiety about childbirth and sadly we are only just beginning to recognise this in healthcare.' He stressed the fact that I would need extra support throughout the process not just the birth, and that they weren't there to talk me out of anything. Ultimately its my decision, and I don't have to go through with it in the end if I don't want. It doesn't sound for a second like you are getting ANY support about your mental health issues over this, and that is a failure on their part. (I should stress from what I know, if you haven't already gone down this route, is it worth asking to try and be referred to antenatal mental health support of some kind? I think many hospitals, even the more 'backward' out there do seem to have this).

He gave me some information about the risks to take away and read and he commented that he should read what he gave it to patients more often as it said on it that they only perform an ELCS where it is "essential" or "necessary" and he didn't want me to read that and panic! His comment was simply, not to worry or read into the phrasing as, in my case an ELCS simply was, because of my mental health. No ifs or buts or questioning it.

I've got to be honest in saying that I did not think for a second I would feel as reassured as I did in the end. The fear of having to do that was as much a part of my fears as the rest of it. I can't help be amazed that this isn't the attitude that is being done throughout the country - as its supposed to be and how NICE recommend it - as I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders by it. I burst into tears when he said "No problem".

It remains to be seen if everything he says comes to pass in the way he said, but just his attitude has made the world of difference to me.

So from my personal experience, just the attitude of the people who treat you, is a major issue. I know this doesn't really help, because you are stuck with the hospital you have, and can't do a lot about it, but my point is more to reassure you that actually its them who are stuck in the dark ages in their attitudes and that your mental health IS a reason to have an ELCS if you feel thats what you need in your circumstances. Try not to get bogged down in THEIR politics over your NEEDS. Focus on what your biggest issues and fears are and how you can tackle and cope with those. You have to live through it, not them.

Hello, first of all I want to commiserate with you, and I feel really sorry for you that you have had to go into all these problems to simply try and get your section, and to be met with such negativity.

If you think your birth was traumatic your birth - ( of your baby!!) was traumatic. This something we all need to understand. A two hour birth with an epidural and no stitches could be massively traumatic for someone!

Women should not have to go into all the gory details of how they were butchered and tortured etc.

It should be enough to say - it was horrid for me.

I had a normal but horrid labour first time and I asked for an ELC second time. I was granted one, and had a very supportive consultant who is also a member of the Birth Trauma Association so I can only assume she is simply more educated on this matter than your bog standard, lets keep costs down consultant.

So I feel for you having gone through all this, if you had the energy and time I would complain - to PALS maybe?

When I had my section, waiting for it was fine, much nicer experience than being in early labour! I sat calmly with my husband watching Homeland on the lap top, with my feet up, and kept glancing at baby's clothes all waiting and ready to go next to me!

When I had to get into the gown, and they seemed to be ready for me, I started to have a mini panic attack. I quickly gave my DH a run down of how I wanted the other DC to be brought up should I die in surgery, and kissed him goodbye .

Then walking into the cold light of the theatre, seeing the thin bed, I had more of an attack.

Then a charming lady with a German accent told me sharply they had made a mistake and it wasn't me who should be in there! There ensused an out cry from the theatre staff saying I could not be sent away now I was actually in there!

I told them, not to listen to me babbling but that I was suddenly feeling extremely scared.

They immediately jollied me along, before I knew what was going on really, I had a canula in, and the spinal which had such a huge build up in our section talk weeks before, was over and done with extremely quickly. It didn't hurt.

When you compare how panicked I felt it was literally 10 mins from walking in, to having the canula, spinal etc and lying down with them "starting".

The part I couldn't understand was how I could still feel my legs but they were going to cut me open> They had to spend some time in reassuring me that the spinal was working! They were chatting to me and I had the horrid blood pressure falling, but again, it was minuets before they adjusted it and I was fine.

In what seemed like such a short time, baby was out, and next to me at my head.....I dreaded the stitching up part but with baby next to you, the time flies.

Honestly, in recovery, the consultant came in to tell me I was the most scared patient they had had in a long time.

I was paranoid about haemorrhaging too.

I was all cosy and taken up stairs and settled in with baby and it was bliss! I dreaded the hospital stay too, but in the end I actually enjoyed it!

When I used to think of my first labour, I was traumatised, going back to the hospital I was in floods of tears, seeing the doors where I went in in labour, brought me in terrors, the pain, the not knowing how it would end, the pain below afterwards...

Now I think of the section, and I do not think anything of it, I barely remember the surgery as it was quick and painless....the staff were nice, and when I think of the birth it is with warm and positive thoughts, unlike 5 years of scarring from the first labour.

In my NCT group I was definalty the one with the best birth experience, the other ladies were in and out of hospital, one had a horrendous haemorrhage, another had bladder damage.

Sorry for long long post!

If you had dreadful first birth, I think and hope you will find your section very healing, warm and positive experience.

I read on these boards once, that a lady going for a section also for non medial reasons, was accidentally given the section booklet given to ladies with breach births and the like...and it was alll postive.

RedToothBrush and others who have posted on this thread thank you so much for your posts and for your incredible support. People like yourselves have been so much more caring than any midwife or doctor involved in my ‘care’ which seems a sad testament to the state of antenatal healthcare. I genuinely don’t feel that my best interests as a patient are being put forward. They seem to have the outdated ethos that doctors know best and patients are best ignored. Totally agree with what you say above about the whole thing being politicised and people having agendas, and pregnant women get put at the bottom of the pile.

It is horrible being heavily pregnant and feeling like your healthcare providers are conspiring to force you to have a VB. This is why I think they suggested if I have a ELCS I will have to have it at 40 weeks not the usual 39 that everyone else I’ve spoken to seems to have. I think they are just hoping I will go into labour and it will progress so quickly they won’t have to give me the ELCS. This fills me with fear.

I have got the next appointment with 2 consultants tomorrow morning and am so nervous. They are going to go through my labour notes from the first birth 19 months ago and then make a decision (note they will make a decision not me). I know exactly what they will say – that I am fine to have a VB. But I will not accept it. I am sticking to my guns but I just don’t know what will happen if they keep refusing it.

sorry what I meant to stress was, all the time I felt panicked i was in no pain and it was all very short and quick and I felt i was in good hands.

Compared to labour where you have no idea what's going to suddenly happen, your in tremendous pain all the while, and you had no idea how long the torture will last for!

I said to my DH - my first labour was like me saying to a couple of heavies, there is my DH take him and torture him until it stops, give him pain like bones breaking, for hours, then make the pain worse!

The section is short and painless. Recovery - is a differnt story!

What

I did have a meeting with a very whimiscal head midwife before my section and she kept saying how on paper, how great my first labour was.

I had to very strongly remind her that I am me - a whole person with a brain and feelings and not just a pair of hips.

I think you need to go into your meeting with the mind that you are having your section and will keep talking to consultants until they grant you one.

I had my section at 38.

whatwasIthinkingof, from what I know about the NHS, the real trick is to understand their systems, procedures and how they work as much as possible in order to be able to use it to your benefit.

For example you might want to know that one of the buzz phrases in the NHS at the moment is "No decision about me, without me". Use it! Stress what you've just said above - that you feel like they ARE making decisions about you without listening or taking your concerns seriously. They are being dismissive and they should not be doing this, if they are being consistant about this phrase and the principle behind it. Whilst they can't be forced to grant an ELCS as its surgery and a VB is the default, it does make it more difficult for them if you start to say things like that to them. They have to justify why they are making that decision and not involving you in it.

Also you might want to swat up on the NICE guidelines and what NICE quality standards on CS are, with particular reference to maternal request. The quality standards are actually newer than the guidelines themselves (they were published earlier this year) and are standards that NICE are looking for hospitals to achieve as best practise. These can be found here. These are good as this breaks down how you should be treated into key points - from which you can build up a case for how you want and indeed should be being treated. It gives you things to ask questions from. If your hospital isn't following what they are saying then it gives you good grounds to ask questions about why you aren't being treated in that way.

If you are anything like me - write down stuff before you go - my mind goes completely blank and I've been advised to do this (as well as to keep a diary of how I feel so I can discuss things with them at a later date so I don't forget things that are bothering me).

Ask questions and make them answer them as much as possible. It is not only your right to do this, but essential to your mental health. Ask the key question directly about what happens if you go into labour before your ELCS (this is a re-occuring fear for women who want an ELCS - they must have been asked this before and they should have a decent answer - if they don't, ask why).

If you don't get the answers you want/need tomorrow, then please don't leave it at that, as its not going to resolve your anxieties. Badger them, until they give the answers you require - its their job to look after your mental health needs. Remind them of that if necessary.

Please, please remember, you are not being a pain; its them not doing their job if they don't adequately reassure you. Its not in your head; if its real to you its a valid feeling, and a problem for THEM, NOT JUST YOU!

Remember, you ARE normal, you are just at a different point on the 'spectrum of anxiety' than other people (

@RedToothBrush I know this is a super old post, but your case sounds similar to mine, in that I am totally petrified of birth - be that surgery or natural birth, and don't know how to access the ante natal support. How did you go about it?

It was some years ago, but I approached my GP and asked for referral because my fear was so great before getting pregnant. My case was unusual and I believe not all GPS will refer if you aren't already pregnant. However NICE guidance does effectively support this - it says if you have mental health issues prior to pregnancy you can get appropriate support. This is officially recognised as a phobia/anxiety so should fall under that.