Rooming In

[Lesley76]

I've just been to third antenatal class at hospital where they were informing us of the hospital practices post natally. They said that even on the "high dependancy" ward ( where you go if you have a section or instrumental delivery) they practice a policy of "rooming in". Which at this hospital means that the mum is completely responsible for the care of the baby. They will not help you with BF or caring for the baby in any way. If you want to have a bath or shower you must choose to go into a 4 bedded bay and get one of the other mums to care for your baby. Or wait until visiting until someone comes in and you can get them to "do a bit of babysitting"!!!!

All they will do is the post natal checks on mum and baby which are a legal requirement ( and I assume that the community midwife does if you are home?) . And the paediatrician will check the baby on the day you leave.

Is this the normal interpretation of "rooming in"? In that case, apart from the provision of pain relief ( if you are lucky), there seems little point in being in hospital post natally ( assuming your baby is well). At least at home the food is better and you can have bath when you want!! And you can phone someone for advice with BF etc? Or am I missing something???

That is so sad Twiglett. Definately think that women who can should go home ASAP after delivery. Those who have to stay should definately send letters of complaint when they do not get the care they need. That is the only way the system will change.

I am sorry but some of these stories sound like a nightmare. Likewise I have heard bad stories from other people and can't believe it.

I had dd at Airedale in Yorkshire and found them to be very caring to the point some people abused the system.

The delivery room was very private and I got the birthing pool, gas and air, pethidine and splendid care from lovely midwives who never shouted. Felt like a hotel room with dim lights, music and telly, tea and toast....amazing.

Up on the maternity ward, it was well secured as I found out my cot didn't have an alarm system. My dd was in SCBU and from my notes I learnt that I always seemed to be asleep, as it was an ordeal having dd, my body was tired. They took messages when dh called or passed on the messages from SCBU.

I was in a bay of 4, sometimes 2 or 3 ( stayed in 4 days because of dd) and the nurses loved their job. One baby wasn't eating or latching on, so the midwife repeated came to check and help the mum and baby. I would shower vey late or early in the mornings, when I told them I was going, the station looked like a nursery, babies everywhere..... they took them to look after so the mums could get sleep. And they said it wasn't a busy, 3 midwives looking after 10 babies, what do you call busy???

The food ladies made sure you got a meal, even if you were busy at the time food was served.

I never had to wait forever for any medication. Dressings and help was given immediately. It was a busy ward but they truly loved the job. I actually never had and fears of security since a person couldn't walk in with another visitor, say if the door was open and you are trying to enter as well. You had to state the reason for being there.

SCBU nurses were fab as well. I have no doubts as to whether I would go to that hospital again, all praise to them.

I am happy that my experience of NHS was good, I could have been scarred for life.

Just to add to the horrible reminiscences, I got snarled at for 'the state of the bed' (even muttered pathetically that I'd tried to clean it up - ahem, I had a brutal ventouse SIX HOURS AGO) and then for the fact nobody had shown me how to empty my own catheter bag.

I decided to have my second baby at home chiefly because hospital was so vile. I do feel angry, though, that my decision was prompted so much by the revoltingness of hospital rather than a postive choice of home IYSWIM. I am very glad I had her at home, as well, but that might not have been possible - home birth just isn't an option for everyone.

I have to say I'm totally horrified and feel so sad at some of these stories

Fortunately my aftercare has been 100% - more so at my local GP-unit as opposed to the hospital 25 mins away. NOTHING was too much trouble, ensured that I had decent rest, hot meals and any pain relief should I have needed it.

In the evenings after visiting time, they would bring round biscuits, sandwiches, tea/coffee/chocolate and sit on your bed for a chat. During my last stay, midwife sat on my bed, we were eating chocolates and watching Cold Feet

If I see any of them around town, they still stop and say hello - and my 3 are now 8,6 and 4! Also joke that they've set aside a bed for me should I want to come back

Fabulous midwives, fabulous care - it all went a bit downhill after I was transferred to the HV!

Awful stories and they always make me dread another birth but i have to agree with Slinky about my care. I think i was VERY lucky after reading all these stories.
The midwife was always around and two of them helped me to the shower and i'm sure i got a cup of tea. The baby cots all had keys that you took with you and if anyone lifted the baby an alarm went off. The room had en-suite bathrooms anyway so didn't need to go far. The midwife bathed the baby and chatted and the first one even stayed after her shift to see my dd being born! (They both got champagne and a sincere thankyou card).
Every time i hear or read such stories i thank my lucky stars!
Lesley, i hope it all goes well for you++++
BTW i am also with Slinky re- my Health Visitor, She was a waste of time!

Lesley - do as Mears says - write to the head of midwifery and the "chief of staff" or whatever they call the head of the hospital. Make it clear that you are horrified at the prospect of giving birth in a hospital that does so little for mother or child - and that their attitude to helping establish bf stinks and goes against government initiatives. It annoys me so much to hear all these horror stories - giving birth can be traumatic, establishing bf can be a nightmare and mums and babies need all the help they can get.

Unfortunately my post natal care was horrid.
DD was 5 wks prem and in SCBU overnight. I had her at 11.20 pm, went up to the ward at 2pm, was woken by MW at 5pm - wrong patien though!
Wanted to see DD in am, but no MW to accompany me, so had to wait 2 hrs.
She had been tube fed, wasn't told when she needed feeding, eventually a MW responded to my bell, and looked appalled that I needed help, and pushed DD to my boob.
Again, we had no assistance with the babies, you had to rely on another mother, or your visitors, to look after baby while you showered. You had to go and get your food, leaving baby in your cubicle, the phone was out of the unit, so phonecalls were almost impossible.
After DD not feeding properly for 2 days, I requested help, the MW was so rude and I was so hormonal, I burst into tears. I was transferred to a side room, and I asked to bottloe feed, as DD had lost a lot of weight. I was discouraged from doing this, but not helped to feed her. The MW said that if she did not gain weight then they would have to tube feed her again. It was only down to DH being extremely assertive that I was allo9wsed to express and bottle feed her - she gained weight and we were allowed home 3 days later. I was also told that they were too busy to show me how to bath her, and had to wait until she was 5 days old before anyone had time.
This time around, I am living in a different area, with a community hospital. This has made me so much more relaxed about giving birth.
I am sure that these cases are not what it should be like, but it is these ones which worry everyone.

Twiglett: if you're going to be in King's, tick the box for either the halal or caribbean meals. They come from good local indian and caribbean catering services. My sister SHRIEKED when she saw the regular Kings fare on the tray, yelling "uurgh, it's teabags in custard!"

God, these stories are horrid, I must say I had the complete opposite treatment. Dd was born at St Mary's, Mcr and from the minute I arrived to the minute I left (5 days due to section) I don't think I could have had better care than if I had gone private. Had own room with ensuite, tea and coffee brought round regularly, buzzer to call m/w which I did everytime I wanted to b/f, they turned a blind eye to my visitors overstaying etc etc. I could go on. The only down was the food which was foul but dh brought things in for me everyday so it wasn't a major problem.

The m/w in charge was a bit stern but ok and all the others were fantastic, calming my blubbing baby blues and just giving support.

Would recommend the hospital to anyone in the area.

Ah, yes the food at Kings. As the old Jewish joke goes: "The food was terrible....and such small portions!"

AND anything slightly more edible has gone by the time they get to you.

I've blanked most of my stay out of my mind now, and don't really want to dredge it up, but this thread is bringing up some horrible memories.

I too got told off for having soaked the bed with blood.

I got told that it was breakfast time then midwife wandered away (I was in a private room) without telling me where it was or where I had to get it. I'd had an epidural/ventouse the night before and wasn't ready to get out of bed.

The night staff wouldn't help properly with BF and positively tried to force me to give ds a bottle. It was only on my tearful insistence that they did a heel test to check ds' blood sugar and every time found that he was fine.

When I asked a midwife to keep an eye on my son while I had a shower, she grudgingly said yes then when I came back I found my notes had been signed to say I had been show how to bathe my baby - I hadn't been in the f*cking room at the time ffs!!

They wouldn't let me leave for many days (I didn't realise I could just go - I assumed I needed permission), took two days before I could see a BF counsellor (who was fantastic), the heating was jammed on high in my room in a sweltering May, ds was too sleepy to feed properly (they insisted on him having a 45 min feed before I could leave - as if all babies feed that long anyway!!) which I blamed on the heat more than anything. I couldn't wait to get home.

Then when I did get home the community midwives gave me conflicting advice re: feeding, loss of weight (ds took 3 weeks to regain not 2), jaundice etc. I never saw the same midwife twice. There was one fantastic community midwife I saw who gave me great BF advice and encouragement, but all the rest just wanted me to be on formula so they could confirm ds was taking enough in. I only saw the good midwife once.

Fortunately, my fantastic HV "rescued" me from them all and signed me off early, as she could see how upset they were making me, saying that I and ds would be her responsibility. She sucked at other advice, but for that one action I think she was a saint and a saviour.

I'm actually almost in tears again writing this, and this happened almost 3 years ago!

I've moved area since all this - and here promises to be better in that I've seen the same midwife all the way through so far (and she's lovely). I'm still absolutely terrified of having to go to the hospital though, even though chances are it would be much better so I'm hoping to have a home birth. Like others, I don't feel my home birth request is necessarily a positive choice - I just don't ever want to be in hospital again - it'd be too traumatic.

I was pretty much 'left to it' post natally also. Like Georgina I was told by a nurse it was breakfst time then she just wandered off. I too had had an epidural, ventouse and forceps the night prior and would have loved to have been brought breakfst in bed. I couldn't believe I had to make up my baby's cot and help myself to clean sheets/towels etc. If I wanted to shower i was told to leave baby, and one of the other Mums would call a nurse if he cried. They did help with BF but a few Mums were tearing their hair out in the night with a restless baby (me included)and they would NOT take babies from us. I was so glad to go home.

The more I shudder, the more horrible memories come back to me.

I was woken after a 28 hr labour and horror-film ventouse delivery by a strange filthy man staring down at my mostly naked, bloody body, clutching a box of wires and contraptions, saying 'are you the one that wants taping up?'. Before screaming hysterically I realised he was the maintenance man referring to the bundle of live wires poking out above my bed.

The bell didn't work, the catheter bag was exploding, I couldn't reach my baby as I was tethered by drips, and no-one came. They brought tea-bags and custard...and left it at the end of the bed where I couldn't reach it. No-one came for 2 hours.

I had had no sleep for 3 nights. They sat on my bed in a crowded public ward and told me my baby was disabled.

The arrogant peadiatrician loudly and repeatedly insisted that the baby was way beyond term. I knew he wasn't, and if he WAS, he could not have been DP's: he was concieved the night I came home from a 3 week work trip abroad. In a suspicious relationship, he could have caused havoc.

Someone's blood soaked towel remained on the bathroom floor for 3 days.

The incessant noise.

I found the whole PN ward experience really traumatic.

Oh god, the bathrooms. I'd forgotten the bathrooms. Were those bins ever emptied?! The shower was disgusting and I dreaded having to go to the loo (and that wasn't just because it hurt!)

Your reports are making me cringe yet feel so blessed mine wasn't like that.

Alot of people I know have given good reports on AGH, esp. the food. The bathroom were immaculate as the staff, at least for the maternity ward.

Everyone was shown how to bath babies, esp. new mums. I did think it unfair for one mum who had a little boy about 3 and she wanted the nurses to attend to the child. Erm, that is one person depriving another person of vital knowledge. My Dh got fed up with her visitors using a mobile behind the curtains. That is where abuse of the system comes in, inconsiderate patients and visitors. But since a few people complained, I have noticed there are a few changes on the maternity ward. Splendid I think, our voices have been heard.

Our menu choices were halal or the regular one. I do find the Caribbean interesting. What would that have entailed Blu?

I would highly recommend the hospital. My at home community midwife care was spot on too, very nice ladies who enjoyed their job.

According to the Department of Health last week:
Stephen Ladyman highlights progress made in maternity servicesPublished: Thursday 12 February 2004Reference number: 2004/0052

Health Minister Stephen Ladyman today says that the NHS is making good progress in improving maternity services.

In response to the Health Select Committee's report on maternity services, Stephen Ladyman, said:

"We believe that improving maternity services around the country is essential to giving babies and mothers the best start in life. I welcome this opportunity to highlight the work we have done over the last couple of years to improve the quality of maternity services.

"Our highest priority must be to tackle inequalities in access to services and health outcomes for women and their babies. In 2001, we provided £100 million to improve over 200 maternity units around the country. This funding has been used to provide women with en suite bathrooms, single rooms for women in early labour, new home from home areas and new birthing pools. Also, a key theme of the Children's National Service Framework (NSF), due out later this year is to reduce inequalities and improve access to care. The maternity module of the NSF will set national standards of care, covering antenatal, birth and postnatal services.

"We are also committed to extending choice and support provided in maternity services for all women throughout their pregnancy. You're Pregnant launched last year by the Department, provides all mums-to-be with local information about maternity services in their area, so that they and their families can make real informed choices about the NHS services they would like to use. It is also important to remember that some choices are not safe or appropriate for some women and their babies.

"However, we recognise that the rate of improvement and availability of choice may be governed by the recruitment of midwives and we are working hard to bring more into the service. Since 1997, there are 700 more midwives working in the NHS, an increase from 22,380 to 23,080. Also, the number of students entering midwifery has increased from 1,652 in 1996/97 to 2,122 in 2002/3.

"Despite the challenges we face to improve maternity services, we must remember that current services are of a high quality and childbirth is safer than ever before for both mothers and babies. Much of this is due to the hard work and commitment of dedicated NHS staff."

Yeah, right.

GenT: I think I had jerk chicken, rice'n'peas and plantain. Fab!
MI: It's the bloomin cut price externalised ill-trained cleaning contracts they need to concentrate on! The can build as many damn bathrooms as they like, but no-one will want to use them if they are filthy! Likewise terms and conditions for MWs so that the country doesn't have a third less than it needs. Do you know they have to PAY for their own refresher training each year?

aww plantains, haven't seen one in over a year and a half

A bonus of living in London or a more multicultural region........ perhaps I really need that driving licence. Other than that, I love where I live, no hustle and bustle

It is all utterly horrific and makes me glad that my medical insurance paid for a room in the private wing at Kings after my c/s. The nurses (agency) were pretty rubbish IMO but at least there were no restrictions on visiting so my mum or my dh were there pretty much all the time to help me with food and getting up and taking ds away so I could lie down and try to sleep (difficult due to building work all bloody day though). Again, very glad to get home.

GenT - glad you had good experiences of Airedale because it will be hospital used by many of my family/in-laws.

Blu I totally agree with you about cleanliness of bathrooms. But also think that it would have been nice not to have been bent double, dripping blood shuffling right down the corridor in the middle of visiting time to the nearest toilet.

Still say ... "HAVE A HOME BIRTH"

Some of the things I read here, like getting your own sheets, making up your own cot, putting your towels in the bin - I did these in the birthing unit and never even considered that someone else should do it. Mind you if I had not been up to it I would have been in the big hospital anyway.

The unit did have a lovely helper who made people a mug of hot chocolate before bed and cleaned the bath after you had used it and things like that. We made our own breakfast in the kitchen, but that was advertised as being so that we could eat when we wanted to, as much as we wanted to and actually have hot toast. I often had two or three breakfasts. Food was lovely and you could choose your portion size (always tick large)and how many pieces of bread you wanted. My midwife even ordered me a dinner and kept it warm so I could eat after the birth.

All these stories about baby alarms and such are interesting. Anyone could walk onto the birthing unit, pick up a spare baby and walk out again. My ds was taken to the hospital cafe by my dh (so I could get some sleep) in a front pack with no tags showing and nobody said anything (apart from "what a beautiful baby"Everyone seemed quite lax about this, and probably thought I was weird for taking ds everywhere with me or leaving him with my mum. Next time I would take a baby sling.

CP - the point is that we shouldn't have to have home births just because hospitals are vile. I am a total convert to home birth after my experience, but I also firmly believe that we need a range of options. I was far too scared of the pain first time round to contemplate anything bar hospital. Other women don't have any option of a home birth. Some don't have a home where you could feasibly give birth anyway(like hostels, or B&Bs). The point is that hospitals are often quite horrible places!