Cultural differences and attitudes to childbirth .... (sorry, bit long)

[ghosty]

One of the things I love about living in Auckland is that I get to meet all sorts of people from all sorts of countries and cultures. Apart from a large Maori and Pacific Islander population there are many many Asian immigrants here (mainly from countries like China, Korea, Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, the Philipines, Indonesia).
Anyway, I have been getting friendly with a lovely lady from Indonesia whose son goes to swimming with my DS. Yesterday we had a massive discussion about how our different cultures view childbirth ... she was shaking her head at some of the 'barbaric' things that European/Kiwis do and my head was reeling at some of the stuff she was saying .... it was a fantastic conversation:
Here is a list of some of the things she said:

1. In Indonesia no one has a midwife. You don't have your husband there either ... it is just you and your doctor ... she found this hard having her baby in NZ as it was expected her husband was there for her.
2. Immediately after birth you should wear a very tight girdle that you wear for 2 months ... this girdle goes round your hips and lower abdomen and should be so tight it hurts when you sit down. This way your tummy goes flat again. But you can't do it if you have a caesarean section.
3. You can't go out for 40 days after having your baby. Not even to the corner shop. Her mother came to NZ to stay with her and her mother and husband did everything ... shopping, cooking etc .... all she had to do for 40 days was feed the baby and sleep. She says she can't believe that Kiwi women go out and about so soon after giving birth ... she says it is terrible that most don't have much of a choice in that regard (due to not having a mother near to help etc) and that in her case her mother flew all the way from Jakarta to be at her house so that she could do the 40 day thing.
4. You can't wash your hair for 40 days .... Her accent lost me a bit on this one so I am not sure why this is .... but I think it has something to do with your body repairing itself and that soap on your scalp will hinder that. She said you could wash and shower but not wash your hair ... although you could rinse it with tepid water that had been boiled with fresh ginger in it.
5. You can not touch cold water at all for those 40 days ... only warm water .... not totally sure about why this was either .... but something to do with the energy flows of your body.

There were some other things she said that escape me right now but I will post them if I remember them. I found it all so interesting and she and I had a laugh about things like 'poo' when you are in labour because in her culture you have to do a poo before you give birth and she was horrified when a kiwi friend of hers told her she gave birth and pooed at the same time
I really like the idea of not going anywhere and sleeping and breastfeeding for 40 days although I am not sure I could handle not washing my hair for that long ...

I do agree on the post partum bleeding, that's the reason in my country too.

I believe there are many other factors for these traditions to dissapear appart of women lib. ie mobility in society due to job needs. In the past the family used to live near to each other and most young couples woould try to find a place to live near to the place/area where they grew up, nowadays job demands, or better said a more specialised job force that now needs to move around in order to work and be ascended in a highly specific job area ends up, in many ocassions separating people from they extended family.

A higher number of people attending university also accentuates the trend by catapulting young people away from the area on which they grew up.

For ds I was aware of these practices (although born in the UK) and so arranged for mum to come and stay for 2 weeks after the birth and then during dh 2 week paternity leave we went to stay with his mum and dad so I had 4 weeks of support-They were both great-cooked, walked the baba to sleep and made endless cups of tea.
At the same time I think I was overly keen to 'prove' how great i was at coping (with a ds who breastfed practically 24/7 and screamed whenever put down) and insisted on going out for walks for 2 hours a day with the baba,doing all the nappy changes myself and rushing around keeping the place spotless for visitors!
I remember being terribly proud of fitting into my jeans 2 weeks after the birth (with a bit of tummy overspill) . If I'd known then that 6 months on I would still be woken up at least twice a night and STILL be a stone overweight and not have made it to the gym I would have relaxed and rested while I had the chance!
Also they both bottle fed so were somewhat bemused at DS being clamped to the boob all day and all night.Next time ( if we are lucky enough) I fully intend to have a (supportive of breast feeding)maternity nurse around full time as well as my mum/MIL when they can help out AND DH-I intend to do nothing but feed the baby and play with and cuddle ds1 so he doesnt feel left out. A masseuse sounds great too-think I will add that to my list!