-Did your waters break dramatically with a big whoosh Hollywood style or was it a slow trickle? I'll be commuting (a short distance) and making presentations till late in my pregnancy and I'm afraid they might break in the midst of random people....
First time they didn't break at all prior to labour. I was 9cm dilated and they were still intact, the MW broke them because they couldn't pick up DS's heartbeat and wanted to put a clip on his head. With DD I didn't think they had broken but I had a scan that morning when I went for an ECV (they realised she was breech when they tried to do my 40 week sweep) and the fluid around her was so low they concluded my waters must have broken at some point and I didn't realise. I'd say if you were ever in doubt then get any increase in discharge checked out.
- At what point did your hospital ask you to come in? a) when your waters broke b) when contractions began c) when contractions were x mins apart d) others
With DS I rang them when I realised I was having actual contractions and not Braxton-Hicks. They told me to call back either when they were five minutes apart or in four hours, whichever happened sooner, but to call immediately if my waters broke, I began to bleed, movement slowed/stopped, or I was in severe pain. As it was I called them every four hours for 24 hours at which point they asked me to go in because I'd been contracting for quite a while and they wanted to check on DS.
- Did you spend any time on the antenatal ward before being moved to a delivery suite? Was your OH allowed on the a.n. ward after visiting hours?
With both I spent time in the maternity assessment unit before going to delivery suite (DS) or theatre (DD). At the assessment unit they monitored contractions and heartbeat and did the standard blood pressure, checking dilation, etc.
When I was 26 weeks with DS I spent a night on the ante-natal ward due to bleeding. DH was allowed to stay with me 7:30-12pm and 2pm-8:30pm which was partner/existing children visiting times, other visitors were allowed in 2-3:30 and 6-7:30, no one at all was allowed in from 12-2pm. If anyone went into labour during the night then partners would be called in once they were ready to move to delivery suite (at the 5cm mark). The visiting hours were the same for the post-natal ward too.
- Once labour began how often did your midwife pop around to see you?
I had a midwife with me constantly for both my vaginal delivery and my caesarean delivery, I wasn't left alone during labour/delivery either time. During DS's birth the midwife had to take a break and another midwife came in while she went off for 15 minutes, then while pushing I had two midwives with me at all times.
For DDs EMCS I had a midwife come and collect me from the maternity assessment unit, she stayed with me while the surgeon and anaethetist did all the consent forms, walked down to theatre with me (holding my hand, bless her!), and stayed with me all the way through, she then stayed with me in recovery before signing me over to the post-natal midwives once I got to the ward.
The only times we were left alone were once baby was born. With DS the midwife left the room and we had a good hour alone to get to know each other, with DD we were in a recovery room and I was being monitored but the midwife popped DD inside my gown for skin-to-skin, pulled the curtains, and left us alone for as long as she could. When she did need to come and check me she did it as unobtrusively as possible given the circumstances.
- If you had an epidural how long did it take before they were able to provide you with one?
I didn't have one with DS and with DD I had a spinal but didn't have to wait for it as the anaethetist was right there in theatre the whole time.
- So what happens when you've given birth and the placenta is out? I've read that most people spend a few hours in the delivery suite before being moved elsewhere (if at all)? Is it just a, ahem, clean up operation, or are there any specific checks done at this stage?
After DS I was in bed with an absorbant pad and several maternity pads under me. The MW did DS's newborn exam (APGAR, weight, etc) but he was in our sight the whole time and was handed straight back. I was offered help with breastfeeding if I wanted it. They checked the pads after a certain length of time to see how much I was bleeding, was it slowing, etc. They then did a very gentle examination to see if I had any tearing (I did) and this was stitched with local anaesthetic and me breathing on the gas&air pipe. I was brought tea and toast and offered a shower. We were in there a good 3-4 hours post-delivery (DS was born at 1:30pm and we didn't go to the ward until around 5:30/6pm). Once everything was sorted and I'd had a rest we walked to the post-natal ward. I was shocked at how heavy the bleeding was to begin with, the bathroom looked like a murder scene after that first shower. They keep you on delivery to observe you mainly, aside from the obvious clean-up, etc. They need to make sure the bleeding is slowly, it's really heavy immediately after birth and then slows (but is still like a very heavy period). They also check the placenta is complete, that you're alert and doing well, that your uterus has started shrinking back down, and so on.
I don't know if all hospitals do it but I had to put a measuring pot in the loo for the first 12 hours afterwards and tell the midwife how much I'd pee'd. Apparently it's to check there's been no damage to the bladder. Also things go a bit numb down there after (shock I presume!) so you might not recognise when you need to wee, I found popping to the loo every few hours just to try was the best way.
With DD I was on a fluids drip post-delivery (they have it on during delivery but I needed extra as my blood pressure kept dipping) and they wanted to check bleeding, blood pressure, pulse/heartrate, temperature, bleeding from the incision site, urine output, basically everything you would check post-surgery.
- How long after, if at all, did you move to the postnatal ward? I've heard/read plenty of horror stories about these. Is there anything you would have done differently/demanded in the p.n. ward?
We moved there after 3-4 hours with DS and after 2 hours with DD.
It wasn't brilliant on the post-natal ward to be honest but I was lucky in that it was fairly empty. With both DS and DD I stayed two nights and I was the only one in the four-bed bay/room for second night both times. Take a few comforts with you, a travel-size of your favourite shower gel (or a posh alternative if you have no favourite), some nice shampoo and conditioner (I feel instantly more alive with fresh-washed, nice smelling hair), etc. Warm, fluffy socks - postnatal wards seem to fluctuate from roasting to freezing. flip-flops for the shower and alcohol hand gel/rub. Lipbalm is a must! It's so dry in there and my lips were reduced to shrivelled strips of leather without it. A few snacks wouldn't go amiss either, it's hungry work having a brand new baby.
Make sure you get as much help as you need/want with the baby. If you're unsure of anything then ask and make sure you get an answer. There's not really anything I would have done differently on the post-natal ward, they were fairly good at my hospital aside from one midwife on the first night shift when I had DD but she was more forgetful than nasty.
- This is a really stupid question. How soon after birth does lochia start? Do you pretty much not stop bleeding after the placenta is out or does it kick in a while later?
It's instant. Take lots of pads and be prepared to double them up for the first day at least, it's heaviest for day 1-4 and then will be like a period. How long it lasts varies but 2-5 weeks is around average. Change your pad regularly and be prepared for the midwives to ask you how the bleeding is doing. You need proper maternity pads for the first week at least as Always/Bodyform/Kotex, etc aren'y designed for lochia, they're plastic-backed which can prevent skin breathing (this increases the risk of infection), and they can mask important warning signs such as an increase in bleeding, change of colour, appearance of clots, etc. I used maternity pads for 7-10 days until I ran out of them and then switched to Kotex nighttime pads once the bleeding began to slow and taper off.
Buy huge granny knickers, post-delivery is not the time for fancy little wisps of silk or anything expensive because they'll just get stained. Matalan do hideous floral ones, 5 for £4, that come up to your bellybutton. They're the unsexiest things ever but they're bloody comfortable for the first week or so! They hold a pad really well, the elastic on the legs is nowhere near any tender bits (and the waistband is high should a caesarean become necessary), and the between the legs bit (gusset? I destest that word!) is wide and impossible to get into any sort of wedgie. They're 100% cotton too so they're nice and cool and breathable. Because they're cheap you can throw them away afterwards. Paper knickers are vile things, avoid them if you can!
- How soon after birth did you attempt to breastfeed? I'm worried that if I'm unable to feed then the baby will go hungry and the midwives will insist on formula. I'm not taking any bottles/formula in my hospital bag. Is that silly and should I be more prepared?
DS was formula fed and DD was breastfed. Both times I was encouraged to feed as soon as possible. I decided on the spur of the moment to breastfeed DD, they wheeled us into recovery, asked how I wanted to feed, and I blurted "breast" despite having a dozen bottles of ready-made cow and gate in my bag. The midwife was on hand to help but to be honest DD found her own way onto the breast once she was inside my gown. There was plenty of help there if I needed it and no one suggested giving formula, once I was on the post-natal ward and had had a bit of a sleep the nursery nurse came around and sat with me for a good 2-3 hours giving me loads of information on feeding and support available, she stayed for at least 3 feeds (expect very frequent feeding to begin with) to see how I was getting on and to offer tips and advice. You don't need to take any bottles/milk if you're planning to breastfeed. If you did try it and decided it's not for you or you changed your mind or whatever then the staff will provide milk for you if you ask but they won't push it at you (if that makes sense?). I was worried about supply and DD getting enough but you'd be surprised how satisfied a baby is just by colostrum.
I don't know if you've made one or not but try to be very flexible with your birth plan. Don't rule anything out, especially types of pain relief, as you don't know how it'll go on the day and often baby has his or her own plan! I was adamant I didn't ever want a caesarean, I was deadset against IVs and spinals and doctors fiddling about and blah blah blah. I found out at 40 weeks that DD was breech and they couldn't try and turn her because the amniotic fluid was low and she had the umbilical cord coiled around her leg (which increases the chances of it snapping or getting compressed). I was given the chance to try for a vaginal delivery but the cord position meant there was a good chance of it prolapsing and there were various other risk factors. I'm not saying all breech deliveries are too risky but in my case, with all the information presented to me, I decided it was and had an emergency caesarean there and then. My birth plan was for a water birth on just gas and air. I can't remember who originally said it but there's a famous quote about plans being an invitation to disappointment.
Remember that, no matter what happens, birth is a means to an end. No one gets pregnant just to give birth, you get pregnant to have a child and the delivery is a very, very small part of it, it's the lifetime that follows that matters. I beat myself up so much after having DD because I felt I'd failed, especially after having a fairly normal VB first time round.
Hope you have a safe and speedy delivery!