emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic

[dexter]

I had an emergency birth which due to baby's distress had to be extremely fast, so they put me under. (This was after a 50 hour labour). My husband couldn't be there, because of it being under general, and my first memory is of seeing my son being held by someone in theatre, all wrapped up and dressed, while I shook violently on the recovery bed - couldn't stop shaking so obviously couldn't hold him. Can't even remember how many hours elapsed before I held him.

He is three now and I regret more and more that neither me or my husband was there!! Was so knocked out and exhausted by labour and surgery that couldn't fight to breastfeed (my son never sucked when put on boob - just lay there!) so I gave up and did bottles.

When I look back it seems like this experience belongs to someone else - like really I had a normal labour and breastfed but somehow can't remember it. Think it's because I'm really no nonsense and never (touch wood) have health problems, girly problems, all been so normal - and then this!!

And I NEVER meet others who had caesarean under general - get quite jealous when people say they had an emergency C section, then hear that they had it under epidural with husband present - I know this is not ideal, but such a different experience to mine. Anyone else had similar to me???

I've had one of each and the epidural one was definitely better, far better memories etc. but with 2nd (crash) section I recovered more quickly. The GA made me v woozy and I needed a lot of pain relief initially. having said that I don't feel the same as you about the experience on a whole and you could maybe do with speaking to a professional about these feelings.

I did.
Long labour, almost exactly the same experience as you, except I was lucky enough to breastfeed. My DD is also 3 now.

I felt a failure for such a long time. What really helped me was to go through my labour and delivery notes with a brilliant midwife at the hospital. It really helped me to come to terms with everything.

oh and i'm still bf dd2 who's 2.5. i think it depends on the level of support post-natally.

Almost the same as you Dexter, without the long labour! Baby was in distress, no time to fit an epidural so I was put under. I hated being told I had a DD (also 3), without remembering any of it. Hence with DD2 (1 on Saturday) I opted for an elective c section and had a much more positive experience.

At the end of the day though, the way I looked at it, was at least DD1 was born safetly, and we have her here with us today and enjoy (almost) every minute of her!!

I had the same as you, long long labour with dd1 in distress and lots of doctors running round like an episode of ER.

They tried to top up my epidural but it wouldn't work quick enough so, as she needed out asap, I had to have a general anesthetic. I clearly remember lying on the bed looking up at the theatre lights thinking 'how the HELL did I get to this?'.

Poor dh was in his suit thing ready to come in when the doctor told him he couldn't and to wait outside. He obviously was panicking away thinking the worst.

So neither of us saw dd1 enter the world. Which I was a bit about at the time, and like you, was exhausted afterwards and asked them to take her to the nursery so I could sleep which made me feel like I had abandoned her later. I think she was a couple of hours old before I held her.

So not ideal, but I do not have any bad feelings now about it.

I am sure there are many on here who have had a similar experience, who will be able to emphasise.

xx

i need to do that as well to go thru my notes as i had emergency c-section after 15 hrs and i had epidural too. my baba is 13 mths old now and i need to come to terms with me having the c-section as im gutted that i didnt have a natural birth.

can i just ask what a crash c/section is? ive heard people mention it but dont actually know what it is

I had a an emergency c/section under epidural and a planned c/section which ended up under GA.

With the latter dh was feeding the baby when I came round, and then the baby latched on an hour or so later. Dh hadn't been allowed in the theatre.

Whilst different, and to some extent "traumatic" I would say overall both births were positive. I would recommened that you find an opportunity to talk through your feelings with a professional.

i was offered epidural or general A so i chosen epidural. its depends on the circumstances.

I did breastfeed but I put this down to the fabulous midwives at the hospital, who also told me there is no such thing as a normal birth, if mum and baby are healthy it is a success.

I went on to have another daughter VBAC so it is possible to have a completely different experience the second time round.

xx

BUT my birth was positive as i deffo have another one as it hadnt putted me off at all

Thanks everyone. It's something I've considered, talking it over with the hospital but you get so busy with life when the baby comes that it certainly didn't seem a priority!! I guess the other thing that stopped me doing it was luckily, I bonded so well with my son and adored him from the moment I was sentient enough to, that again it didn't feel a priority. And I regret that my experience of birth was how it was but the outcome was so perfect and still is!!

Maybe it sticks with me more because we decided (not because of labour) to have just one child, so I know I won't get the chance to 'do it right'.

I had a similar forst birth to yours. 40 something hours of labour, foetal distress, topped up the epidural but it didn't take effect fast enough. So just as DH came in in his scrubs he was told to go outside and wait.

However, unlike you, I had had quite enough of the whole labour thing at this point so when they mentioned knocking me out I I though Hallelujah I don't want to be here any way. And, Dh was none too disappointed either about having to leave the theatre. So I have no bad feelings about the procedure.

In fact when I had my second child (last May) I insisted on an elective caesarean and I even considered asking for general. I was talked out of the general by the doctors at QC. And in retrospect, I'm glad I had a local.

I have ro regrets about having a section and if I had another child I would most certainly be queing up for section number 3.

I was given a general anesthetic halfway through my emergency C Section with twins, because I could feel so much pain despite having an epidural.

Twin 1 was a natural delivery only twin 2 was an emergency C Section.

A "crash" section is a really really emergency section. Most "emergency" sections are just slightly emergency, as in not elective.

I've had two sections, both with epidurals. The first was an "elective" (didn't want it, but needed it) and second was an "emergency" (in a "should we do it now, at 6am, or wait until 9am?" sort of way).

Very very few emergency sections are crash sections. I know one person IRL who's had one - it was a cord around the neck deal.

I have had 2, dd1 born as elective and epidural did'nt work and had to go for general,
dd2 long lanour 48 hrs middle of the night I beged for a section, couldn't have epidural so had to have general.I was very ill after as had reaction to morphine and severe asthma attack, lots of scans and intervention as it was suspected that I had a bloodd clot, anyway I lost most of the first 5 days of dd2 and ended up bottlefeeding and really feel like I missed the new baby feeling with her.
(I also split with her dad 2 weeks previous so I always blame him for it)

I don't know if mine qualifies as a "crash" section, but I was induced and at 4-5 cm dilation (no pain relief yet), doctor looks at CT graph and goes quiet - baby was in distress for 15 mins and midwife who was with me did not notice.

All hell broke loose.

Suddenly I was being wheeled into theatre, exactly like in ER, double doors, bright lights, people talking over my head. Anaethetist tells surgeon "15 mins for an epidural", surgeon replies: "we don't have 15 mins". Consent form thrust in my face and I sign it lying down. Mask over face ... darkness. Dh's worried face peeping through the glass part of the doors - he was not allowed in.

I woke up filthy in my still bloodstained clothes, immobile, feeling like I have been kicked by a horse, surrounded by beeping machines. Baby had been whisked away to NICU.

Didn't want to see baby. Told dh to go to her because I felt such a failure for feeling so sorry for myself. Finally held dd a day later - fell in love at first sight.

Took me 2 weeks to establish bf - dd also did not suck. But then she was jaundiced and so very sleepy and the hospital kept feeding her through a nasogastric tube so she was never really hungry. But the hospital was very supportive (baby ended up in NICU/SCU for 2 weeks) .

Continued bf-ing for the next 17 months because dd refused all bottles despite my best efforts. Dd is still the light of my life

I do feel that I was cheated of a "proper" birth. And that I got no debrief of my case from the hospital/midwives/health professionals. But there are worse experiences to mine - eg forceps ending in e-csection. So I try to look on the bright side.

Feel huge dent in my confidence as a woman to give birth naturally, though. Next birth will probably be an elective c-section - under epidural!

blueshoes, that's the definition of a crash section, when they don't have enough time to put in an epidural.

I understand what you mean, about feeling cheated of a normal birth. I've had two sections. I'm almost certainly done with having kids, not least because I kinda can't face another section, and DH really really can't face me being cut open again.

But the birth is over fast, and there are so many (IMO) more important things about having kids. And there are worse things than sections. Without getting into really morbid stuff, I know one woman who had 8 months of physio for pelvic floor problems after the birth of her DS1.

Dexter,

I'm sorry you've been left with such awful memories of your section. I work as an anesthetic nurse & have cared for many women undergoing sections, whether elective, emergency or crash. There is some concern that the section rate is currently too high now that we live in a litiginous society, but I can honestly say if a crash section under GA is what the Obstetrician wants to do then it isn't done lightly. It IS a traumatic experience & as a mother myself, I used to hate the moments preceding the GA. It can be upsetting for the DP/DH to see the woman go under as we employ a technique called Cricoid Pressure which looks much worse than it is. It would be great to let the partner stay but if there was any difficulty with either the GA or the baby, we would waste valuable time removing them from the theatre. I know this sounds brutal but our priority is a healthy live baby at the end of it.

Speaking personally, as I recover women after sections, the MWs are sometimes conspicuous by their absence. BTW, I'm not implying this is true of all MWs. Perhaps you didn't get the immediate support from your MWs that you needed. When MWs train, they focus on the normality of pregnancy/labour/delivery & when it becomes an abnormal event (eg sections) they sometimes don't cope as well. I can say this as I also used to be a MW many years ago & this is only my opinion. Why am I telling you this? I think I'd like you to know a) why your section went the way it did & b) that hospital staff are fallible & don't always get it right.

Karmamother, thanks for that explanation - it explains a lot. What is Cricoid Pressure? I only ask because my abdomen hurt so much when I came round I could not move at all or sit up. Took me half a day to try to stand up, agony - other women with a caesarean did not report the same thing. I assumed it was because the OB was rougher due to the time pressures or because of my previously strong stomach muscles (not any more, of course!).

Dexter, like you said, the outcome is perfect. But because of this, I felt it seemed almost ungrateful and self-pitying to dwell on my emotional needs as a person when my role as a mother is all-consuming now. So you allow your feelings to be swept aside. What you described about the experience being blocked from your mind and replacing it with memories of normal labour etc sounds a bit like unresolved post-traumatic stress. Like you, I too had never been in hospital for anything before that most medically managed birth in which I and dh were for all intents and purposes irrelevant. I am sad you won't get a second chance to
revisit this. But then again, you won't have to worry about pelvic floor problems etc (as per NQC's example - ouch) second time round.

Hope discussing this on mn helps you to work through it.

my first section was an emergency - baby was becoming acidotic (too much carbon dioxide in her blood which they tested), I signed a consent form and had the epidural I'd already been given topped up, into theatre, quite calm (including taking the nail polish off my toes! )

my crash section - bp dropped dramatically from 120/80 to 80/40, i felt like i was disappearing down a tunnel, my ears buzzing etc - I assume they thought my uterus had ruptured and whizzed me into theatre for a general anaesthetic (no consent form). never did find out why my bp dropped like that..

karmamother and blueshoes, thanks so much! It's fab to have it explained even a bit, karmamother, from the medical side. Is Cricoid presure where they press on your throat to put a tube in? Does the tube explain why I had a huge fat lip after the op??? By the way, no one thought to tell me what I looked like so the next day on going to the loo had rather a shock to see face - looked like doctor had punched me in face to effect anaesthetic!!!!

It is fab to have this forum to talk about it - as you say blueshoes it gets pushed aside almost immediately.

It's funny because despite my regrets I've always been able to see the positive side, ie no pelvic floor issues etc! I do count my blessings. x

Another thing I meant to say Karmamother was you are so right about the midwives. I saw a few come and go from their shifts during my long labour and I can honestly say that (despite being perfectly polite pleasant ladies) not one encouraging thing was said to me about my labour - at all. No-one told me I could do it, was doing well, etc. I thought the service was complete rubbish to be honest. The most encouraging person was an untrained auxillary who used to come on night duty on the ward!

What awful experiences to have gone through. I don't think any childbirth classes - or even previous births - could prepare you for such things. But whether or not you plan on having more children, I do think that it is important that you deal with these issues that upset you. Otherwise, you may find that they come back to slap you in the face at another time when you are vulnerable.

You don't need to dismiss your own well-being just because you have become a mother and are responsible for another persons' well-being. It's not selfish to be upset about not having had the sort of birthing that you might have wished for. Of course the aim is to have a healthy baby at the end, but also to have a healthy mum as well. What the experience feels like to you is very important, and if it bothers you then you have every right to address it.

I was very upset by things that had happened during the birth of my first child, and only realised that it remained a problem for me when pretty far along with my second. I arranged a debrief with the Liaison Midwife at my hospital, where she went through my notes with me in great detail and discussed every aspect that concerned or interested me. It was a completely open discussion, with no ulterior motive on the part of the hospital. It was amazing how much better I felt afterwards, and how much more confident in myself.

It might never have occurred to me to do this had I not been pregnant again. I thought that it was past, irrelevant, get on with life. But that's not quite true. Something like what you've gone through can sap your confidence and give you an eternal niggle of guilt - which you don't deserve!