Labour pain is like...

[MadAboutQuavers]

A plea for unbridled honesty from all you MN mums...

I'm due to give birth to first DC in 6 weeks' time. Like a lot of mums-to-be, the prospect of enduring labour pain very soon is scaring the blardy hell out of me, and like all first-time mums-to-be, the fear of the "unknown" is doubling it.

Obviously, I know that labour is not going to be "ooh, now that's a bit uncomfy" in terms of how painful it is . I am, if all goes to plan (ahem!), hoping to have several remedies to help me cope with the pain (TENS, epidural, etc.), but I wondered if any mums can put into words what the pain ACTUALLY feels like?

I know everyone has their own different experience, but is there anything you could say that could describe the pain to someone who has no clue?

Not that I'm expecting this to prepare me or anything....

[Booboobedoo]

MAQ - I'm due in six weeks too - but it's my second time. (We've 'met' before ).

I was convinced that I was constipated when I was dilating, and in fact bullied the midwife into giving me a couple of pessaries to help things along.

So to me it felt like I needed a massive poo!

Crowning to me was burning agony, but felt very purposeful too.

Sounds like you might be right about the G&A if you've had that reaction before. I got DH to rub the small of my back HARD during contractions while I hung off his neck.

[MadAboutQuavers]

Lol @ Starlight

That's a great tip

[SanctiMoanyArse]

Oh and yes wrt to food poisoning- I get that pain every time I eat milk (intolerant but easily led (towards cakes, usually)). Exactly it.

[SanctiMoanyArse]

Oh and sorry me agin

G&A made me sick once, never agin

Even that depends!

[MadAboutQuavers]

Bloody nora, Sancti That's making my toes curl!



I'll have a word with the DP, as I know he's a bit worried about being useless/helpless

[SanctiMoanyArse]

Now, so many times you ehar about men being useless but really they needn't be.

Dh was there every time and really only ever looked after me until the last one but I always felt he did exactly what was needed. Keep me calm and make me feel someone was on my side basically. None of this 'it's not that bad' crap you hear about- just a feeling of being safe.

During my last birth the MW didn;t make it until I was at pushing stage (I did have a doula as well) and even then only one as the second just didn't arrive in time- called at midnight, had ds4 at 12.35. He did exactly as he was told- fetching water, repairing G&A nozzles put on backwards (running around a street in April at midnight literally freezing his hand- was most humourous!) and him being there meant the doula could focus on me (and I needed it a bit- shock of a rapid delviery) and he was complimented afterwards by MWs for being useful.

So don;t let your Dh think he'll be in the way- tell him ifn youc an cope betetr without him you will let him know so he can make himself scarce until the birth, then he knows that if you don't, he's OK.

[gingerkirsty]

No other pain I've ever felt. Haven't read whole thread so someone else has prob said same, but it is completely unique AFAIK and I was in what I can only describe (cheesily) as The Zone - so although it hurts, it is all encompassing and you just go with it - then it's over and you get a wee rest til the next one. My main issue was that my labour went on for over 48hrs and I was just so so so tired.

Can't comment on second stage though as ended up having forceps so had epi. Actually felt quite cheated by this in some ways, as having managed to get to 10cm with only a tens machine (never considered asking for any other pain relief so it can't have been that bad) I missed out on what I viewed as 'the exciting bit' - really wish I could have felt DD actually being born.

[DurhamDurham]

Period Pain magnified by about a million per cent. I'm not being dramatic thats the only way I can explain it.
Goes as soon as you get your little bundle of joy and you will instantly be in love!!

[BalloonSlayer]

Only have experience of Stage 1 contractions.

You know when you get cramp in your calf which wakes you up in the night screaming and you're scared to go back to sleep again in case it comes back? Well like that but the uterus is much bigger than the calf muscle and is spherical (ish) so the area of pain is much bigger.

Sorry.

[Faddles]

I agree with the food poisoning thing. Childbirth is not an unnatural pain, like having your limbs torn off or being trashed in a car crash or something.

I had listeria poisoning once, with very strong and painful cramps that came in waves, just like contractions. Having been afraid of the prospect of childbirth all of my life, I was actually surprised during labour that the listeria poisoning had been worse.

When you have to try not to push, it's kind of like trying to stop uncontrollable vomiting. It's painful because you're trying to fight against your muscles and they're very strong, and really hard to stop. It wasn't as bad as I'd feared. It wasn't a picnic, but with pain relief, it was bearable. When you get really tired, it gets harder to bear. Entonox is brilliant. As you breathe in, it takes all the squeezing pressure off you and gives you that moment to gird yourself for the next round.

I know all this sounds really gross, but that's the truth of it. If I did it again, I'd make sure I was a bit fitter; work on my abdominal muscles, in order to be able to resist the push better, and make sure all the bits that have to stretch get well massaged and toned. The lady above who spoke about stretching your mouth is kind of right, but try it again with oil and massage. Get your tissues ready for the workout, and you'll have a much better time of it.

You'll be fine. Whenever you feel worried, do some preparation exercises. The more the better. Very soon you'll have the love of your life in your arms. Best of luck :-)

[porcamiseria]

well fist time induced with drip, a bit shitty but had epidural. make sure you have if you want, no guilt please!!

second time, did it natural

contractions, super dooper period pains plus back pain that get longer and harder. but by god the gas and air helps

pushing, well...like having the worlds biggest shit. you dont want tp push but have to!! i dont remember the pain weirdly, just how hard it was

you'll be fine, take the drugs if you need them

x good luck

[anonymousbird]

It wasn't as bad as my double slipped discs... I suppose with labour I always knew it would end... somehow at some point. With the back, it was seemingly endless, and utterly different to handle, and with no apparent "reward" to keep me going!

I didn't have time for anything other than gas and air, but DH will tell you that both times (yes, I went back for a second go!) I was screaming for drugs, drugs, bring me anything. They didn't! Having now had pethidine (for the slipped discs) I can see that it would have helped and am just bloody cross they wouldn't give it to me at the time!!!!!

Grrr.

I can't describe it, other than it is all consuming and I kind of was in a pain induced trance and have only hazy memories of the event. Possibly deliberately blocked out a bit, don't know. Or too much gas and air of course. The relief, is utterly instant and utterly unbelievable.

And then the joy, the wondrous, intense joy. That is it, the ultimate feeling, and the amazing thing you can always remember from that second forward, that feeling will never leave you.

[Fluffypoms]

Labour is like, somebody opening an umbrella up your arse!!

[Wanderingsheep]

OMG! It's all coming back to me now and I have to do it again in approximately 22 weeks! Eeeek!

[ruddynorah]

Yes you really need to do your best breathing. You need to get someone to pinch you really hard and try to breath through it. It has to be very exaggerated, long deep breath in through your nose then long breath out of your mouth. I found the breath out was best pushed out with great force, like blowing up a balloon.

[MrsChemist]

For me, it felt like almost unbearable uncomfortableness (is a word, honest). Not painful in itself, but the unpleasantness of the sensation was comparable to pain.

Didn't feel the crowning because I was given a local anaesthetic.

[Rindercella]

Contractions - like v bad period pains suddendly getting excrutiatingly painful and then subsiding and then hitting you again like a sledge hammer.

Crowning - like pooing a watermelon through a ring of fire. Well, you did ask


Both of the above were made far easier with DD2 as I used a birth pool and it was wonderful - certainly the crowning was much more bearable than with DD1.

Good luck

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

RaisedFrom- Thank you for saying that about the thinking you're dying thing. I didn't realise it was so common because I felt it and kept it to myself. I felt really scared and just thought, 'I'm going to die, I just know it and this is how it must feel at the end.' It was a really anxious time and quite horrible so knowing that other's feel like that too is reassuring, especially for next time.

[vasillisa]

I am the biggest wimp ever with pain like period cramp, stubbed toes etc and was quite afraid - felt like edd was similar to having a date for some torture.... but in labour found that my body just took it in its stride.

Being in the bath helped and making aaaaahhhh (like a loud sigh, getting louder to match the intensity of each contraction) noises - tried to make it last the length of each contraction - could talk and even laugh in between! Had no pain relief and no one more suprised than me!!

Did swear once when baby crowned - I said 'f* THAT HURT' - but he was under water in birthing pool so he didnt hear :)

Body told me what to do and when, all 4s for most of the time. worst moment was getting on the table for an examintion at the birthing unit! Birth pool was brill. more effective that i ever imagined.

In the run up I read lots of books like those by Ina May Gaskin - insirational US midwife and a book called Birthskills as most books dont go into much detail. Hypnobirthing helped too, though i was skeptical, i got the book and cd from amazon and though it worth a try to deal with fears and give yourself positive messages.


Its a bit of lottery I think as to what happens, but as others have said it can be a very amazing and empowering journey. When things go well everyone on a high, including midwives!

Take a deep breath, try to relax and take things as they come. Good Luck

[vasillisa]

PS Sports lecturer friend recommended snacks and mini soya/milkshakes for energy, as it really is a marathon even... I never fancied at time tbh but enjoyed afterwards :) and agree with comments about sensible exercise, gentle bellydance, swims, and daily walks if you can help keep your spirits up and your energy.

[preghead]

For me it is all about the contractions which I only feel at the back - mainly in the back passage - nothing at the front, which surprised me the first time. It was literally like having a red hot poker shoved up your arse and someone lifting you up on it - very painful but as others have said just when it becomes unbearable it stops for a minute or two. And for me, the gas and air was enough to get through. Funnily enough, after all that, once i get to pushing and crowning they are not painful at all for me.

It's a close call but I think when I had severe ear infection and perforated ear drum the pain was possibly equal but the overall experience worse as the pain was constant.

[RACHDUDLEY]

Honestly, I found it unbearable. Gas and Air were rubbish - I think cause I've taken stronger drugs myself in the past :)

I was due to have a home birth but just said get me to the flamin hospital I can't stand it cause this is bad enough and I'm nowhere near at the end and I already can't cope.

Everyone is different, I know people who felt completely different to this. You just can't predict, there are so many factors involved.

When I had the epidural it was the best decision I ever made. For me it was easy thereafter, even the pushing bit, just a breeze.

You see, everyone will say something different. I am sure I have a low pain threshold anyway, I always have.

I did loads of pre-natal yoga type preparation for birth type things about how to keep moving and walk around and it went straight out of the window and I could hardly move. I am a massive wimp though.

Do you know what though, no matter what happens, you do get through it and then it's over, you can't prepare yourself so just console yourself with the fact that it does happen, it ends and then you can type up your birth story on Mumsnet.

I'm not trying to alarm, you can see tons of people here who said it was not that bad, I'm just saying you just can't listen to what anyone says as use that as a guage.

Good luck, it will be OK.