Labour pain is like...

[MadAboutQuavers]

A plea for unbridled honesty from all you MN mums...

I'm due to give birth to first DC in 6 weeks' time. Like a lot of mums-to-be, the prospect of enduring labour pain very soon is scaring the blardy hell out of me, and like all first-time mums-to-be, the fear of the "unknown" is doubling it.

Obviously, I know that labour is not going to be "ooh, now that's a bit uncomfy" in terms of how painful it is . I am, if all goes to plan (ahem!), hoping to have several remedies to help me cope with the pain (TENS, epidural, etc.), but I wondered if any mums can put into words what the pain ACTUALLY feels like?

I know everyone has their own different experience, but is there anything you could say that could describe the pain to someone who has no clue?

Not that I'm expecting this to prepare me or anything....

[ElleAndBump]

i was like you worrying wot sort of pain it was going to be like, and u worry urself silly,,,i had my 1st baby 8weeks ago, and she was ten days early so i was glad in a way as i was total suprise, and u just deal with it.here how it happened n how i felt,lol>>>
12am> i culdnt get comfy in bed at all so went for a wee n ther was a little pop noise and that was my waters breaking, i thought it gushed but mine just trickled, and i then started getting mild period pains evry 8 to 5mins, i kept questioning weather i was in labour or not as its a strange feeling, we rang labour ward n they sed not to come in until the contractions come evry 2/3 mins

5am>like really intense period pains, but bearable, i just kept waking about, got to hospital
9am> only 1cm dialtedbody makes u go toilet loads,lol,and pain started getting alot more intense and started going round to my back bit like electric shock, the contractions get longer and bit more closer together, i tryed focusing on a point in the room n counting in my head, it annoyed me when my other half kept telling me to breath slowly,lol also labour made me be sick loads,my advice TRY SLEEP THROUGH CONTRACTIONS as u will need your engery later, the worst bit is knowing the next contraction is coming but at least u kno with each one its bringing you closer to meeting ur lil one.
1.45pm> contractions feel really heavy in the lower pelvis, alot of pressure heavy feeling, i found rocking or squatting helped ease it,in a wierd way your mind jus wants you to get to the pushing stage as u want it to be over so you dont panic when it actually happens, i got checked and was already 8cm!! so i had done it all with no pain relief so it cant be tht bad pain.
2pm> it goes so quick people rushing about it doesnt giv u time to think about pain as theres alot going on around you, i had gas and air as it was too late for anything else, i found if u suck in deep and take your time it helps,they took it off me when i came to push, this stage stings alot, i kept thinking i was doing a big poo,haha, but they jus told me its the pressure of babys head,i was more bothered by that than anything else,lol.it takes alot of energy and time to push the baby down before the head comes as evrytime you push it goes back up a little, when the head does crown, it burns so i found the midwife putting water the area helped alot, it feels really tight like you will rip but if you listen to midwife u wont and u just want your baby out, it took me 2hours to push her out, it made me push more when they threatened me with foceps or cut,haha.by the way shoulders didnt just slip out for me they took long as well,lol
4pm> your so out of it though yur body just automatically deals with it and you feel very distant from it all, mite have been gas and air :) after babys out it still stung down ther, but holding your baby makes it worth it.she had tore me on inside,so needed stiches,that was the worst bit out of the wole lot so the pain isnt tht bad for giving birth.i was too sensitive for them to stich me up with nuthing, so i had a spinal block, and it was brillant couldnt feel a thing!! so if you really feel you cant deal with pain then just have that,hehe, hope that give you an idea of wot it feels like, evryones different tho so jus go with the flow and stay calm, meeting your baby gets you through it!! :o

[QueenofDreams]

I didn't find the labour pains so bad once I'd learnt to calm down and take deep slow breaths. I honestly can't emphasise enough how much that helps.

I did have a moment later on when I started to lose it a bit, but then had pethidine and was plain sailing from there on in with the gas and air.

I would say this: if you feel sick, push them to give you an anti-emetic. Don't feel you just have to put up with the vomiting.

I can't honestly describe the pains. I think once I'd 'embraced it' (sorry that sounds poncy) it didn't hurt so much as just feel like my body trying to do a poo every couple of minutes (that involuntary clenching of abdominal muscles) I had a second degree tear and I didn't feel it happen. THe most painful bit was when they injected local anaesthetic all around my fanjo so they could stitch me up.

After DS was born I said it wouldn't be labour that would put me off having another, it would be pregnancy.

I'm currently pregnant with DC2 and hating pregnancy as much as I did last time. Hoping the birth is as satisfying this time.

Seriously, in a strange way I enjoyed giving birth (and I was scared of it before it happened) It's like no other experience in your life. It was almost magical (plus you have and excuse to get off your face on gas )

[QueenofDreams]

an excuse, not and

[ilovesprouts]

its not that bad ,and soon forget when you have your baby in your arms

[Tootiredforgodtyping]

worse than appendicitis.

[FrameyMcFrame]

I thought I was going to die too, but just accepted it. I did say, 'please let me die now' as I just wanted it to be over.
I think that was in transition though, most peole say and feel very strange thing at that point of labour.
With my second labour I was convinced the midwife was trying to kill me!!
The pain is bad, but for me the fear was worse.

[RuByMaMa]

For me it was like really intense period pains but wasn't painful... There's alot to be said for the power of mind over matter. I did hypnobirthing and learnt that if you allow yourself to get scared then it makes your labour more uncomfortable as you cut off the blood supply to your uterus and what do muscles need to work...

Every labour is different... I found that getting my DH to push hard on my lower back when having a contraction really counteracted any pressure I felt. Also, if you can, have a laugh and try and enjoy it . Endorphins are the bodies natural painkilller so do really help. It's such a special and magical time that you will only experience once and remember, if you're having baby in hospital or with the support of a midiwfe, they will not let you suffer unecessarily :)

Every contraction you have is another one out the way and brings your baby one bit closer to you!

Good luck, I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job!

[MadAboutQuavers]

Thanks so much for your posts everyone, they've been brilliant to read.

The food poisoning/diarrhoea pains analogies were really helpful in getting some kind of a handle on it

It sounds like everyone has a slightly different reaction to the state your body goes into, but either way the physical shock experienced by your body is pretty overwhelming

I'm not going to ask for gas and air, only because I've had it once when I'd broken a wrist and it made me really sick and disorientated [vomit emoticon]

I think I'm just going to let my body do its thang and trust that it knows what to do better than me

[BooBooGlass]

That's exactly the right attitude :) Good luck wiht everything x

[SpookyMadMummy]

It hurts, stings and burns all at the same time, but each pain is a step closer to your baby Good luck.

[soniaweir]

it's is v v v sore, the first time i was more controlled but got an epidural which was heaven. the second time contractions came on thick and fast and could not cope and was screaming for an epidural at 2cm. i totally lost control. now when i think back i can't remember what they felt like (apart from the pressure on my bum so i found it difficult to lie down or sit) and i tihnk if i do it again i'll try without an epidural (yeah right!)

good luck - it's a pain quickly forgotten and the outcome is worth it!

[comtessa]

MadaboutQuavers I'm not a medical person so may be way off here, but would it be worth having a chat with MW/GP to ask whether it was possibly the shock of breaking your wrist which would make you feel sick or the gas and air? Just thought I'd put that suggestion out. As you were.

[GMajor7]

Mine were very nasty.

Mind you had undiagnosed breech and ended up fully dilated and ignored for 3 hours as I literally held on to my undercarriage (didn't know I was ready to push as I'd never had a baby before!). Ended up with emcs. A day I won't be forgetting in a hurry .

[GMajor7]

but I'm sure you'll be fine MAQ! Undiagnosed breedh is very rare!

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Didn't think was too bad personally - I was expecting constant pain, was quite surprised when everything was pain free between contractions.

The contractions felt like the stomach ache before terrible diahorrea.

When I was fully dilated the contractions didn't hurt at all, but was knackering and exhausting pushing. Crowning just felt like doing a huge poo.

Mind you my labour only lasted an hour and 20 minutes.

What may surprise you is how you feel psychologically. I really thought I would want to move about, have DP hold my hand etc. What I longed though was for everyone to bugger off and leave me alone, so I could just lie on my side and get on with it.

So not painful, but incredibly hard work (labour is a bloody good word for it).

[countrylover]

I would say it's beyond pain, if that makes sense. I don't think there's a word to describe it. But my analogy is it's the extreme opposite of having an orgasm.

You know that bit when you're just about to reach the peak, it's so intense, you couldn't speak even if you wanted to, your body is just doing its thing...yep, a contraction is kind of like that but the other side of the spectrum....the hell version if you like!

[ShowOfHands]

The other thing to remember is that there's no pass or fail. You don't get a medal, there's no prize giving ceremony. What you get is a baby. How you get it might surprise you.

I wanted (and started out with) a homebirth, in water. I didn't want any drugs. I trusted my body to do what it should. But my body couldn't do what it should as dd was severely malpositioned and unbirthable. I didn't know this until I'd been in labour for 2 days and pushed for 6hrs.

It is worth thinking about what you would do in each eventuality. Try and plan for what you'd like but acknowledge that you might have to choose things like spinal blocks and pethidine and epidurals as a necessity. Think about how you might exercise choice in those scenarios (even with an em cs you have options in some cases ie lowered screens, skin to skin etc).

[Oartistic]

Breathing is absolutely crucial. It kept me going for hours, hours, hours of back-to-back labour with no pain relief (my choice).

My experience was that it hurts. When my baby got stuck it hurt so much that I don't remember large chunks of it.

But my burst appendix hurt more.

[ShowOfHands]

"Breathing is absolutely crucial"

I should say so .

I also don't remember large chunks of it. But the bits I don't remember were where dd was irretrievably stuck and I was waiting for an anaesthetist so we could go into surgery. There was nothing to do but feel it. Too many monitors to move, no pushing despite having been dilated for 6hrs as it was distressing dd, just lying there. I can't remember going to surgery or recovery. Just the odd flashback. That was loss of control over the whole thing.

[nikki1978]

Like my stomach was being crushed in a vice

I never felt like I was dying. I just felt very uncomfortable then as it progressed the contractions were very painful but I didn't find it hard to get through or traumatic. It just went on a long time which was frustrating but I felt quite spaced out with the pain plus a bit of gas and air and the last 5 hours flew by (bit like if you get hypnotised and an hour feels like 5 mins).

Good luck, I am glad I went through it as the baby at the end felt even more deserved :)

[MadAboutQuavers]

*Don't panic/calm down

*Relax into it as much as poss

*Breathe!

All brilliant advice ladies, thanks so much to all of you for your stories

GMajor7 - ooh that doesn't sound good at all, you poor thing

Comtessa - I thought about this, but the only thing I can say is that I didn't feel sick and disorientated before the G&A (the paramedics took an hour to arrive). Just in pain from the break. And I was ALWAYS violently sick from the gas at the dentist, and from general anaesthetic after an op. I'll discuss with the MW though, before I dismiss it as an option.

Despite still being a wuss, I'm starting to feel better about the whole process and even - gasp - looking forward to it. After all, as everyone says, I get to meet my baby at the end of it!!

[SanctiMoanyArse]

Every labour varies so much- I have had 4, from very medical induction with pre-eclampsia and fitting, to quick home birth via gentle pleasant 43 hour special! So much depends on so many things.

Pain wise, i;d say it's owrse than abroken arm but less that developing a severe allergy to hair dye and burning off half your scalp (wot me? no never but ds2, long birth in a MLU didnt hurt at all. So prepare for pain but don't expect it, and know if it gets too bad youa re either in transiytion so near the end, or able to ask for help.