Page 2 | *TW* Camhs and self harm

Oscarwinningtears · 2025-08-14T18:32:07+00:00

DD is 16 and I've recently found out she's been self harming, she's had a really tough couple of years and I knew her MH wasn't great, just didn't realise it was this bad. It was a struggle to get her to the GP and she was really anxious about telling anyone except me but we went today and the GP referred her to camhs. She's now in a total state worrying about what 'action' they're likely to take when they know about the SH, seems convinced they'll admit her or even section her and won't listen to my reassurances because she knows I have no direct experience with camhs and she's heard/read some horror stories. I've said I'll post here to see if anyone who's actually been in our situation would be willing to give her an idea of what might realistically happen when camhs do get in touch, although we're both aware that might take a while. I hope it's ok that I've asked here, I wasn't sure what else to do to reassure her tbh.

CAMHSDoctor · 16/08/2025 21:52

As others have said, it will depend on your area.
Some areas only offer a limited range of therapies (e.g. Lincolnshire) and if that isn't something DC would find helpful, then she might be better to look at third sector alternatives.
Some places (many in London, Coventry, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds...) have a lot of therapies on offer, and as long as DC is honest in the assessment (try and let her do the assessment alone) she'll get something useful. There might be a wait, but she might get some generic emotional regulation help in the interim.

A lot of people on the Internet talk CAMHS down and speak a lot about how little is on offer, and how everyone gets discharged. This isn't true.
There's two possibilities here, one is that people have had crisis assessments, but not in crisis, and then go back to wait for generic CAMHS, or they're part of the problem and children haven't been able to speak freely enough to get the help they need. There are occasional bad clinicians, but on the whole, children can get what they need if they're able to be honest with their assessor.

Lindy2 · 17/08/2025 09:20

CAMHSDoctor · 16/08/2025 21:52

As others have said, it will depend on your area.
Some areas only offer a limited range of therapies (e.g. Lincolnshire) and if that isn't something DC would find helpful, then she might be better to look at third sector alternatives.
Some places (many in London, Coventry, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds...) have a lot of therapies on offer, and as long as DC is honest in the assessment (try and let her do the assessment alone) she'll get something useful. There might be a wait, but she might get some generic emotional regulation help in the interim.

A lot of people on the Internet talk CAMHS down and speak a lot about how little is on offer, and how everyone gets discharged. This isn't true.
There's two possibilities here, one is that people have had crisis assessments, but not in crisis, and then go back to wait for generic CAMHS, or they're part of the problem and children haven't been able to speak freely enough to get the help they need. There are occasional bad clinicians, but on the whole, children can get what they need if they're able to be honest with their assessor.

Oh I so wish that was the reality.

Kittyquestion12 · 17/08/2025 09:40

CAMHSDoctor · 16/08/2025 21:52

As others have said, it will depend on your area.
Some areas only offer a limited range of therapies (e.g. Lincolnshire) and if that isn't something DC would find helpful, then she might be better to look at third sector alternatives.
Some places (many in London, Coventry, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds...) have a lot of therapies on offer, and as long as DC is honest in the assessment (try and let her do the assessment alone) she'll get something useful. There might be a wait, but she might get some generic emotional regulation help in the interim.

A lot of people on the Internet talk CAMHS down and speak a lot about how little is on offer, and how everyone gets discharged. This isn't true.
There's two possibilities here, one is that people have had crisis assessments, but not in crisis, and then go back to wait for generic CAMHS, or they're part of the problem and children haven't been able to speak freely enough to get the help they need. There are occasional bad clinicians, but on the whole, children can get what they need if they're able to be honest with their assessor.

And CAMHS is actually what they need - just a lot of the time it isn’t actually that service despite what parents think

CAMHSDoctor · 17/08/2025 10:29

Lindy2 · 17/08/2025 09:20

Oh I so wish that was the reality.

Show quote history

Oh, but it is. 🤷

sillibillies · 17/08/2025 20:04

CAMHSDoctor · 16/08/2025 21:52

As others have said, it will depend on your area.
Some areas only offer a limited range of therapies (e.g. Lincolnshire) and if that isn't something DC would find helpful, then she might be better to look at third sector alternatives.
Some places (many in London, Coventry, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds...) have a lot of therapies on offer, and as long as DC is honest in the assessment (try and let her do the assessment alone) she'll get something useful. There might be a wait, but she might get some generic emotional regulation help in the interim.

A lot of people on the Internet talk CAMHS down and speak a lot about how little is on offer, and how everyone gets discharged. This isn't true.
There's two possibilities here, one is that people have had crisis assessments, but not in crisis, and then go back to wait for generic CAMHS, or they're part of the problem and children haven't been able to speak freely enough to get the help they need. There are occasional bad clinicians, but on the whole, children can get what they need if they're able to be honest with their assessor.

This is our experience.

Camhs were useless, long wait and when we finally were given a therapist, he wasn’t effective. Then he left and we were put back on the waiting list. We were never allocated another therapist. Then they contacted us to say
they hadn’t heard from us despite nothing from them for months. I ended up taking her privately which made all the difference.
my child was actively suicidal and ended up in hospital 3 times. The therapist we did see at Camhs has now been struck off for very inappropriate behaviour (sleeping with multiple patients and other offences). My daughter was contacted to see if she wanted to speak to somebody but luckily he hadn’t abused her. This all happened a few years back as she is an adult now.

She did receive good support at the hospital and afterwards though but that i
was from the crisis team. The last time she attempted suicide she admitted it was just because she wanted help and wasn’t receiving it from cahms.
OP - at no time did they suggest residential so if she is just self harming, unless life threatening, I can’t see that being a likely outcome.

I do know of a few that have positive experiences with Camhs but they are outweighed by the negative experiences.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 17/08/2025 20:17

CAMHSDoctor · 16/08/2025 21:52

As others have said, it will depend on your area.
Some areas only offer a limited range of therapies (e.g. Lincolnshire) and if that isn't something DC would find helpful, then she might be better to look at third sector alternatives.
Some places (many in London, Coventry, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds...) have a lot of therapies on offer, and as long as DC is honest in the assessment (try and let her do the assessment alone) she'll get something useful. There might be a wait, but she might get some generic emotional regulation help in the interim.

A lot of people on the Internet talk CAMHS down and speak a lot about how little is on offer, and how everyone gets discharged. This isn't true.
There's two possibilities here, one is that people have had crisis assessments, but not in crisis, and then go back to wait for generic CAMHS, or they're part of the problem and children haven't been able to speak freely enough to get the help they need. There are occasional bad clinicians, but on the whole, children can get what they need if they're able to be honest with their assessor.

If only…….

My dd got a nice certificate at the end though.

Made no difference to her mental health.

I live in a big city, hardly anything. Just stupid waiting lists.

stepmumdramas · 17/08/2025 20:57

Nothing. Even after my daughter’s third suicide attempt they still didn’t admit her. CAMHS in our area are useless !

Wherestheteenguide · 21/08/2025 07:55

Hi OP
I've just come in mn to get support for the exact same thing. My ds revealed the same last week as well. I just thought we could maybe support each other on here.
Our experience this week has been a fab GP who spent a lot of time with my DS and told him to come back whenever he wants. Haven't come away with any advice other than distraction technique, although we think the SH is rooted in ND issues so we're looking into how to support that.

Kittyquestion12 · 21/08/2025 08:24

https://www.nshn.co.uk/downloads/Distractions.pdf

The national self harm network has some useful information online for parents, and the distraction suggestion document is worth sharing with children who are self-harming. Yes you want to understand and support the root cause but finding healthier alternatives and distractions alongside is also valuable

https://www.nshn.co.uk/downloads/Distractions.pdf

Jessacio1992 · 20/09/2025 19:18

Hi sorry to hear however I’m in similar boat to you if you want a chat please do drop a message I’m feel lost also my
son 14 and intentions CHAMs not doing awful lot I’m really struggling