Success stories of 10 year olds with extreme anxiety/stress/overwhelm

[blythet]

My Dd has had anxiety for a while but it’s getting more and more severe. I suspect puberty os playing a role.

I actually strongly suspect adhd. She’s had counselling in the past and I was hoping with some support it would pass, but it’s not, it’s getting worse.

shes been referred by the school for further counselling and we have a GP appointment next week to discuss potential adhd referral.

right now it’s ruling both of our lives and i just want my happy care free dd back. I get anxious myself and im already fast forwarding imagining her having a life of struggling with this and it progressing to self harm, her not wanting to go out or go to high school etc etc

it’s not like I’m sitting back waiting on that happening. I’m supporting her and trying everything we can. I guess I’m just looking for a glimmer of hope that she can get back to her usual self and live a happy life?

My daughter was like but once she started high school and her periods she settled a lot. I think the transition to high school is a huge scary thing for them, but once they are used to it it’s really not that bad. Just be there for her and hopefully all works out - anxiety is a tough emotion to work through.

When I read the title I came on here to ask if she was ND

My DD is 10 and was diagnosed with ASD/Autism in November.

Since being diagnosed and learning more about herself she is like a different child. So much calmer, self positive and far less anxious and worried. She used to self harm when really stressed and that has stopped now too. She's actually due to start counselling within the next few weeks because she was so anxious, but I think the diagnosis and understanding herself is what's really helped

What things do you or her do when she's feeling anxious?

Does she like talking about it, or writing it down? Does she enjoy walking? My dd isn't keen on eye contact and we have really good chats on the dog walks because she isn't having a direct face to face convo

If she's adhd her mind will constantly be whirring away. Does she take magnesium? If not get her some. Also, adhd does get worse because of hormones

@Imintruugednow2025I’m absolutely convinced she’s ND (definitely adhd, potentially autistic too but in less sure).

sounds like you’ve been through a lot with your Dd but it’s so encouraging to read how much a diagnosis can help. Her dad and I are divorced and he doesn’t want an assessment as he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong, when actually part of the issue is that she masks around him. I’ll just need to push for it even more!!

After the diagnosis was there any particular resources you used with her to help her understand?

thanks!

Thanks. We’re in Scotland and she has over a year until high school. She doesn’t even mention it much….yet! And she’s quite open about what upsets/stresses her.

part of my worry is that so many seem to have said everything gets worse in the transition to high school so I’m really keen to get her as much support and sort this as much as possible before then or it could really escalate fast

My daughter receives support from CAHMs and she is due to start counselling soon. But even then, it's not major support, it's just check ins to see how she is.

Every single proffesional I work with has said to me that if someone has adhd or autism then they also have autism or adhd😅..... one is just usually stronger

So she more than likely does have both, just the adhd is probably strongest.

Having my own diagnosis first cemented for me that DD was also ND and a few months before her assessment I told her I thought she was and started implementing things to help support her...... we learnt about adhd and asd together..... but for her, it was being diagnosed that gave her "permission" to start properly understanding herself

So, I'd just tell her now. If you suspect it, then she probably is. I think just knowing our brain is different and learning how to help it, makes such a huge difference

Loads of people didn't want to believe me about dd either. Specially my mum 😅

Leave them to think what they want. What matters here is supporting your DD

Honestly no, nothing in particular, I just googled a lot and tried things I thought would help DD

My DD likes deep pressure hugs when she's feeling anxious, I got her fidget picker toys so she would stop picking at her skin, I got her a journal so she could write in it and a notebook so she could write things to me if she didn't feel comfortable,

I pre warn her about everything we are going to do and if we need to do somthing that day I'm like right we've got the docs in an hour, in half an hour, in 15 mins, in 5 mins ect.

I give her choices so she feels more in control of things,

Honestly I think the biggest thing that helps is starting to understand your own brain

Just tell her you think she is and both of you together research a little ( it's a nice bonding experience tbh ) and tell her that you want to try some of the tactics and see if it helps her feel better in general..... absolutely nothing to lose by doing that

Please keep in mind she probably is autistic too,

Also.... my dd really indulged at first and said things like "oh well I can't do that..... because of my autism" 🤣

I really would tell her now, I wish someone had told me when I was younger and I can see the huge benefit in my daughter knowing sooner

Sorry this has turned out so long. My ds is undiagnosed but he 100% has adhd and autism too and I treat him like such

Thanks @Imintruugednow2025
we had the GP today and he’s (reluctantly) referred her to CAHMS and for an ADHD assessment. He was really nice but did say he had his doubts as she wasn’t bouncing off the walls or cart wheeling round the surgery.
She stayed in the chair (albeit a bit fidgety) and spoke to him for 15 mins without wondering off so apparently that’s not “typical adhd”.

Personally I’m still convinced she has it (and suspect autism) so I was just glad of the referral.

Our situation sounds similar, yet opposite, in the sense that I first suspected Dd has adhd and it’s only through researching that I can see traits in myself! Like you say, it can be a thing we both research and discover together.

feeling a bit more hopeful today. Thanks for your support

I don't know why GP's even give their opinion on it tbh 🤦‍♀️😅..... girls are well known for masking really well.....

There are 3 types of adhd, hyperactive, innatentive and combined..... when you say adhd people tend to think of hyperactive.... most girls are not typically hyperactive like a boy would be,

I was really worried my DD wouldn't get diagnosed because she doesn't seem typically asd or adhd, it's not until you start learning more about the smaller signs ect that it becomes blatantly obvious.

Funnily enough it was school who pointed out DS might have adhd which led to me noticing about myself and then DD..but..... he's ended up having a lot of issues and all of that got in the way of getting an adhd referal.... he's on the pathway now though

It is hopeful, honestly.

Earlier on I sat at my kitchen table and had a happy cry to myself..... our lives are so much calmer and both my children are so much happier now we all know how our brains work

Also our local community club is mainly sen based and they have been really helpful in regards of supporting my kids and giving me information ect. They do sen clubs aswell. Have a look at your local sure start and community centre to see what they offer there

@blythet I wondered how your daughter is now? Did she get her assessment? Our daughter sounds very similar to yours, same age. Thanks