Feel so angry about Camhs

[AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]

I am so angry and upset. My daughter was referred to camhs for anxiety, depression and a possible eating disorder. It has taken four and a half years to get this far. She is now almost 17.
She was assessed by a nurse yesterday who believes my daughter has autism. She has based this purely on my daughter’s anxiety over friendships. She was bullied at the age of 10 by a boy which has left her traumatised.
The nurse wasn’t able to tell me about any common autistic traits other than autistic people struggle to make friends. DD has loads of friends and a wide social circle, does well in school, has a part time job, a boyfriend etc. Neither her school nor her private therapist have ever raised this. The nurse ignored all her other areas of problems - her very troubled relationship with her dad, her low self confidence and her difficulties over food and they are focussing on autism. Now she is on yet another waiting list and receiving no help.
I am well aware I sound like a parent in denial but she does not have autism. I have googled endlessly since yesterday and she doesn’t have a single trait. She is very sociable, full eye contact, no meltdowns, close relationships with friends, long-standing friendships, a wide range of interests, chatty, caring, affectionate. She is the person her friends turn to when they are upset or worried.
Surely not all anxious people have autism! I feel her actual needs are being ignored here.
Am I just being naive?
I don’t know what to do.

Thank you for all the replies.
What I am really asking is what other traits, behaviours or symptoms would she have? The nurse based this on DD’s anxiety alone. Surely that isn’t the only way autism would prevent itself. Any possible eating disorder wasn’t discussed or considered except by the GP.

Trauma doesn’t cause ASD.

OP have a look at this . This is a white paper in how it manifests itself in girls.

https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/keeping-it-all-inside.pdf

I don’t think you always know if you have a SEND child. I just thought mine was awkward and anxious. I didn’t really begin to suspect anything until year 10

My dd never had special interest. But she collected Jellycats when she was little. Never really played with them.

Then went through plants/ cushions/ cosplay. I just thought they were passing trends. But she was obsessed with collecting them all.

She used to have tantrums after school. Scared of authority. Still wont speak to some teachers. Became a bit OCD about cafes etc. All smallsymptoms that added up to the bigger picture.

What I am really asking is what other traits, behaviours or symptoms would she have?

Thats a tricky question to answer because of how it presents differently between people even siblings from the same family.

Most people know what high support needs autism looks like hence my example of rain man. However low support needs autism has a different presentation which often slips under the radar, typically high levels of anxiety is a huge red flag. As are treatment resistant eating disorders. Also there seems to be an overlap with sensory processing issues. Sensitivity to certain noises is another one. And also not all autists stim or hand flap. So don’t think just because she doesn’t do X then she can’t be.

I’d recommend perhaps getting a some books on Libby and reading through to see if any of them resonates with what you’re seeing in your daughters behaviour.

My dd sucked her thumb until she was 15. This was her stimming.

I don't think CAMHS are much use but the rates of anxiety in young people are so overwhelming, it must be like trying to hold back the tide. I'm sure they don't get much funding and most of the staff could make much more money in private practice, for less stress. It's very hard to work for a dysfunctional service where you can't make much of a difference due to budget restraints and I imagine they get desensitised to the suffering because they see it day in, day out.

Not to say you shouldn't be angry, but I don't think CAMHS are shit on purpose. The answer is putting less pressure on young people, better education on wellbeing, and more funding for mental health services.

CAMHS are shit on purpose.

Absolutely! I always say that’s it’s very deliberate, the government knows that by getting a child diagnosed they become legally bound to provide support be it in school or within the NHS. So they’ll delay, fob parents off until the child ages out and then it’s no longer their problem.

As far as I can tell they're fairly pointless.

After waiting years for an appointment (telephone) the nurse said to me 'you're his Mum, if you don't know what's wrong with him how do you expect us to know?'

Helpful!

Camhs are shit.

Not the actual people working in it ime but the system which is so underfunded it's not fit for purpose.

But I'm another saying don't rule out autism.

My ds is massively empathetic, holds down a job, is British level sport, has a good solid friendship group. People,come to him for advice because he's logical and unemotional!

He's also autistic and in many ways very classically autistic. It's not about a small subset of traits. It's a bigger picture.

I've worked in CAMHS for over 20 years in an admin role. We are under resourced, under staffed and struggling with huge waiting lists that are continually growing. The service is not fit for purpose currently. All the staff are dedicated professionals who are fighting an oncoming tide of families that desperately need help and just not having the resources to help adequately. It's awful to work in a service and know that you are not providing the interventions needed by families who really need our help. Clinicians get demoralised and the levels of risk that they are holding become too great and they leave - making the situation worse. I have seen clinicians visibly upset as they are overwhelmed. Until more funding is put into children and young people's mental health the situation will continue to deteriorate unfortunately.

Camhs have been back in touch to say they don’t consider her to have an eating disorder since she isn’t underweight. She is on a waiting list for autism assessment. There is only one person who diagnoses this in our area so we are in for a wait. She will receive no treatment until then. I feel really angry that her immediate needs aren’t being considered. Especially after a wait of almost five years.
I really don’t want to be a parent in denial. But she doesn’t display a single trait that I can see. She has never had a meltdown, no sensory issues, no problems making or keeping friends, no problems at school, no behavioural issues, no obsessive behaviour, doesn’t shut down, she can chat to anyone, represents her school for sport and debating. She’s predicted all As in her exam results in a couple of weeks.
She was an early speaker and reader but apart from that was very average and hit all her milestones on time.
i really don’t know what else I should be looking for.

DDs tutor at 6th form suggested ADHD and knowing that we faced a long wait for an inadequate service we went Private for assessment.
The Psychologists suggested Anxiety instead so you might well be right OP.
CAHMS isn’t fit for purpose in many areas due to funding amongst other things so if you are able to get a Private assessment I recommend you do

We are waiting to hear back from CAMHs after a third referral over one year.

Was basically told last time that unless he's suicidal he's not severe enough.

We have managed to access private therapy (but he needs more than this) but if that's not an option for people, my heart goes out to all the children and families who are suffering.

Thank you very much for writing this. It helps to know what's going on on the other side. But it's so frightening.