Has counselling / therapy helped your child's anxiety?

[LambLamb]

Hello,
Looking for a little advice. My ds, 10, is becoming more and more anxious as he gets older. He moved schools 2 years ago and hasn't made any firm friends, though gets on with everyone. Never gets invited to their birthday parties. Gets anxious going into school on assembly day but apparently is OK when he knows who is hosting assembly. Is due to take part in a local play ( not a main character, no lines in fact, just group singing ), and is now in tears as he no longer wants to take part as he doesn't want people looking at him.
I am looking for local counsellors that I can take him to, happy to pay. Really want to know if anyone else is going through this or something similar, and whether the counselling has helped.
I'm feeling so down about this.

My DD had support through school. They should have elsa and then also she had some one on one sessions with local children's services. Guess it was like counselling / they made a book for feelings. It was really beneficial for her.

Talk to Therese Langford of www.facebook.com/calmmindhypnotherapy - she specialises in children with anxiety.

We used these people who really helped dd develop strategies to deal with anxiety.
nlpforkids.org

Horse riding helped dd more than anything if there is anywhere he can have lessons. Something very calming about horses plus builds confidence.

I also did some training for parents which was excellent- on how to support anxious child. And dd did some group classes but I forgot what they were called.

thecontentedchild.co.uk/

They run affordable & very helpful sessions for parents. In SE.

Yes 100%

DC had therapy sessions for anxiety at aged 8. Made a huge difference and his teacher said his school work improved immediately after each session.

It was amazing!

@Cornishscrunchie would you mind me asking how you went about accessing support. Did you go privately or was it via school / doctor?

@AWaferThinMint we spoke to the GP however the waiting list for NHS help was so long we were worried that DS would be pre teen by the time he got help.

At age 8 he was anxious and hitting himself for making mistakes and we knew if we didn't act fast this could turn into a self harm problem once he was older.

We knew we had to step in. We found a private therapist who was £40 for 30 mins of play therapy. One session per month with wellbeing homework to do at home.

It's been the best thing I've ever paid for x

We managed to access therapy through CAHMS, I have no idea how as I know how busy they are.
I also went on a parent course, from the gp, which was amazing.
the main take away was that saying “it’s ok, it will be fine, let’s go.” Didn’t work. Instead I tried “being anxious must be really hard. Do you think there is anything we do to help.”
Then we set goals. I must admit I don’t do it all the time. It’s tough not to try to persuade them. It might work. Good luck, it’s really tough but my ds is now 13 and so much better.

I'm a therapist working with children and anxiety is the most common reason for referral. I would say most benefit from coming. My thoughts would be around the behaviours becoming possibly more entrenched, if they're not tackled now.

Three main facets to working with anxiety; anxiety is normal and is actually trying to help (idea is to ride it out), deep breathing and muscle relaxation to help ride out the feelings and distraction techniques to stop the cycle of thoughts adding to feelings of anxiety.

It's also helpful to encourage them to challenge their negative thoughts, thoughts are not facts.

If they face their fears, like get on stage, it does help in the long run.

Good luck.

Thanks all of you. I will have a look at the options locally.

Sorry didn’t mean to post here have reported my post!

Yes my DD14 had terrible social anxiety when she went back after Covid. School were much more useful than GP. They use a school support service called the Anna Freud Centre. She did an online Cognitive Therapy programme with them that was facilitated by a counsellor. Different to CBT and meant to be more effective than CBT for social anxiety. You mention your DS hates people looking at him which sounds v similar to how my DD was. She hated putting her hand up in class, being asked questions etc. Anyway, it has been amazing and she is back to her old happy self. Contributes in class, has made lots of new friends and happy to chat to most people. I was very worried about her before, she no longer enjoyed the things she loved doing.

I also got a lot of useful info from the Youngminds website. Link below and the book below

Breaking Free of Child Anxiety... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0190883529?ref=ppxpoppmobappshare

https://www.youngminds.org.uk

Speak to his school. I am an ELSA and help children with their anxiety (70 percent of referrals are to do with anxiety) which is run by the school or speak to the SENCO they should be able to help. Good luck!