So proud of DD (there is hope!)

[TeenPlusCat]

When the pandemic hit, DD's anxiety went through the roof and depression through the floor. She missed all of y11. As her worst she would hardly go outside even just for a walk around our pavements, and developed a massive fear of being near strangers or anything else 'unclean'.

This weekend she has been able to view a town jubilee celebration from the edge, go to a country fair for a short time, and today try clothes on in a shop - these are all massive steps forward. We are so proud.

Medication, therapy, time, and an awful lot of patience (and heartache).

Best wishes to any of you still going through the worst of it. Keep hoping.

You're up early too

Yes we do have a plan. Dog grooming course 1 day per week, English & Maths 1 day per week, volunteer at dog groomers 1 day per week. Work on stamina, MH, independence skills rest of the time.

Just need to apply for the course when applications open, and find a dog groomers to take her. Also, try to pass maths now so she doesn't have to do it next year!

Just found this thread. My DD had to miss the last part of Year 13 due to anxiety issues (amongst other things such as a collapse of her friendship group). She was afraid of being out on her own, especially public transport etc. She found therapy helpful, worked from home, and managed to make it in for the exams. Once they were out the way she started on medication (she didn't want to before in case it messed up her focus).

Now, a year on, she is at university, having the time of her life, and at Easter she happily made a solo six-hour train journey with three changes to join us on holiday. So, hang on in there; things can and do turn around!

@SertralineAndTherapy That is fab she made it to uni and can do long train journeys. Is she still on the meds?

I'm hoping the 'year 14' for DD gives her more recovery time before trying to find work. At the moment we are forever juggling things to keep bandwidth for attending college.
Over the summer we are going to try to cut the meds down a bit too, was on 40mg Fluoxetine, got down to 30 last summer, going to try to get down to 20 or lower this summer.

That's a brilliant plan! We've been looking for DD2. The college you're at is obviously the biggest in the area, but there is another college that offers animal care in the county, so our SENCO is going to find out which will give most support for DD2. We have another year to go as DD2 was decelerated.

@SertralineAndTherapy that's an encouraging story, thank you.

@Lougle When we were looking for next year, we enquired about the Level 2 course, it's a City&Guilds one. DD's tutor said the way it is assessed wouldn't suit her, but that the BTEC at Basingstoke or Havant might suit her better and be OK. Unfortunately they are both an hour away by car and that wouldn't work for her so we ruled them out.

Awesome achievements! Well done OP! 🌺

Thank you for sharing, gives me great hope! DD has just been described with propranolol and anti sickness meds. My previously very chilled child became incredibly anxious during lockdown and has now got to the point where if anyone even mentions exams she's sick for weeks, terrible insomnia, digestive issues, self harm. Got through GCSEs by the skin of her teeth last year and a levels are not going well :( .

Sorry to hear that @MyBloodyMaryneedsmoreTabasco . Is the exam stuff something she could overcome do you think, or would switching to a L3 BTEC (which will still have some exams but more assessments) be a safer option?

Thank you.
I don't think anything will help at the moment, she's got her sights firmly set on leaving education and just getting through the next year. It doesn't help that there is literally nothing she wants to do, so no motivation or enthusiasm.

Oh that's really hard. Best wishes

@TeenPlusCat yes, an hour is a lot. It's HSDC that I was looking at. Only 25 minutes for us.

We didn't even go to visit as just too far to consider.
DD's college have been very supportive / flexible (once she was being assessed for the EHCP). And for us the drive is just such nice countryside it doesn't feel too bad, not like going along the M3 or M27 would.

@TeenPlusCat well done DD, that’s brilliant. I hope the remaining assignments go just as well. I’m glad you have a plan for next year. (I’m the one who suggested supported internships btw, but I have since NC’ed.)

We did look into supported internships but preferred the dog grooming option when it was suggested. DD would still have had to do maths & English with the SI and a lot of the other stuff class based stuff looked in some ways a bit 'low level' for her. Even the SI person said the option we chose was better for her. It was well worth exploring though. (I ended up with a large table in Word with all the different options and pros and cons. DD and we both preferred the same option in the end which was a relief.)

I’m sorry, I wasn’t suggesting you/DD should have gone down the SI route instead of the dog grooming, I just added that it was me who suggested it previously so you knew I knew your ‘story’ and wasn’t just popping up on your thread part way through which I thought you might think was a little strange.

No that's fine. I was only letting you know we had looked into them.

The large table in Word made me , when looking for a school for DS1 I had a colour coded spreadsheet.

@TeenPlusCat thank you for this thread. It's great to hear about all the progress your daughter's been able to make, with what sounds like fantastic support from you.

I'm sorry to hear about everyone's struggles, and I hope everyone's DCs are having OK days.

We currently have a 13 year old DD who's suddenly had a massive upsurge in anxiety and not going to school. Not sure yet how we're going to help her feel better (and ideally get back into school), but we're seeing a counsellor next week, and in the meantime trying to take things one step at a time.

All the best to everyone here.

@TeenPlusCat, DD is still on meds after a year. She forgot them on holiday (we tested the 'emergency prescription' system at a pharmacy and it was so easy); two days missed, and she felt nervous and had poor sleep. So in no rush to try to decrease the dose just yet. For others in this situation, it is absolute amazing what can change when the right combination of therapy and medication is found, so there's plenty of hope!

Last summer we reduced gradually from 40 to 20 but on 20 DD got more anxious again so we went back to 30 (might have been OK on 25). We haven't tried since due to not wanting to upset college, but will try again in July. We aren't in a rush but would prefer ideally for her not to need them.

Lovely to read the updates

Dd still not made it in but each night she expresses she wants to try which is a start and she is talking more positively about a part time job and other activities. I'm feeling a little more hopeful than i was a few months ago that we can get through this.

One thing DD's therapist said to try when feeling most anxious, was not to think about the whole day but just now and next.
I'll get up now and then think about getting dressed.
I'll get dressed and maybe go down stairs
I'll go downstairs, and maybe to the car.
I'll get in the car and maybe go to school.
I'll get to school and maybe get out.
etc.
But she must know she can drop out at any time. It gives her permission to try the next step, knowing she isn't committed if it is all too much.

I drive DD to college. On 2 or 3 times we have got part way, or once all the way, and then come straight home. (Which is preferable tome dropping her, getting home 30mins later and then getting a call ...)

DD has sat all 3 of her maths GCSE exams.
In the week running up to the first she was determined she wasn't going to and it took me, college and her SW (and a whole lot of patience) to get her to relent.
She may well not have passed, but she has succeeded by actually attending and trying.
Chinese Takeaway tonight.

@TeenPlusCat that is good news. Well done to your DD 👏
DS is still very unwell but has managed to sit some exams. Its been a tough few weeks but thankfully his exams are all finished. Thank god

That sounds like a success managing to sit some exams.
Do you have a plan for September, or just see how the summer goes first?