5 year old secret eating?!

[Frozenheart]

My lovely 5 year old DD has always been a very good eater ever since she was weaned.
The last couple of months, I have come downstairs to find my fridge and cupboards raided. All of this is being eaten before I wake up in the mornings.
Yesterday, her morning raid consisted of:

6x small petits filos yoghurts, 1x dairylea dunker, 1x apple and 1x satsuma.

This morning, she ate 6x more small yogurts, 1x packet of wotsits and 3x plain tortilla wraps

We always make sure we have filling, healthy meals during the day, but the words ”im still hungry still come out after finishing her meals and when we put her to bed!
In reception class last year, she was weighed and measured and it later came back to us that she is overweight. This wasn’t a surprise to us, as she has always been ahead of ages in clothes for her age. and her dad and I aren’t the slimmest of people!

So my main question is, would any see this as a cause for concern and to contact the gp? Is there anything we could change?

Here’s something that was like a lightbulb going off for me when I was in my early 20s:

Snack = small, quick, easy, no cooking. These days, this often means biscuits, crisps, drinkable yogurts, cereal bars, cakes, muffins, half a sandwich, sweetened smoothie etc.

But it can also mean banana, nuts, half an avocado, plain yogurt, apple, a boiled egg, carrot sticks, rye bread, hummus pot, slice of leftover roasted chicken, sliced peppers, home made popcorn.

But this isn't secret eating. It's making breakfast while you sleep.

Your DC isn't up particularly early for this age group, and you need to get out of bed and supervise.
And feed some supper before bed, a slice of toast maybe.

But it's not the worst thing in the world to leave a child alone at the weekend to amuse themselves for a bit.
No one is saying it is. However people are saying it’s bad to leave a 5 year old to binge eat alone for hours. There’s a world of difference between getting up and sorting the child out with a breakfast and activities and leaving the room with a coffee and a newspaper and leaving a child to raid cupboards alone until a parent bothers getting up and interacting with them.

But it's not the worst thing in the world to leave a child alone at the weekend to amuse themselves for a bit.

A child older than 7-8 maybe, depending on the child.

A child of 5? No.

[quote Frozenheart]@Carboncheque really? DD wakes up between 6am and 7am on weekends, I wake up around 8.30am on weekends, unless it’s a school day.[/quote]
So she’s unsupervised for up to 2.5 hrs?... a bit concerning

@Sleepinghyena

Your 5 yr old is up for up to 2.5 hours whilst you are sleeping in bed?? You aren't aware she has got to the kitchen (gone downstairs?) and eaten a large amount of food?? You need to be up when she is unless she has just come into your bed. No 5 yr old should be unsupervised like this. Apart from the safety aspect, maybe if you were up to give her a healthy breakfast at the time she needs it, she wouldn't need to help herself 🤔

You’ll break those pearls if you’re not careful. Ffs, calm down.

I'm really sorry OP but I teach your DD's age group and I would absolutely raise a safeguarding concern if I knew she was alone for any length of time like this whilst patents slept- probably even if it was 1 hour I would report it. I've taught a lot of 5 year olds and I've never heard of anyone doing this.

Also of course she is hungry, you feed her at 5.30 and then not again until 8.30am!! That's far too long.

You know she’s overweight. It was flagged in school. She’s eating a pile of junk on weekend mornings. Stop buying the junk. You say that you and your dp are both overweight too.
You or her dad have to start getting up with her and getting her a proper nutritious breakfast.

@EspressoDoubleShot. I was just responding to the pp saying it's terrible to leave a child by themselves at the weekend. Actually, I don't think it is, because ime my DC just comes to find me and jumps in bed beside me if they're lonely.

Yes, I do tend to make my DC's breakfast rather than letting them fend for themselves. But they're younger than the OP's DD and we're very rigid in our breakfast habits here - it's always porridge and fruit, never anything else, and clearly they can't make porridge on their own. But once they've finished, I beat a strategic retreat back upstairs with a coffee and enjoy some peace and quiet by myself. And I don't feel guilty about leaving them pottering around with their toys downstairs until I'm ready to face the day.

@Sleepinghyena et al are correct.it’s irresponsible to leave 5yo unsupervised for 2.5 hours whilst the parents sleep.nothing to do with pearls everthing to do with being responsible & attentive parent

It is a safeguarding issue,neglect. It’s impacting upon health, the child is overweight with bad habits

If you get up and parent her, you’ll go a long way towards solving the problem. I’d have thought that sleeping in while your 5 year old is up, pottering around, helping herself to food and potentially getting injured while you sleep in is a pretty big safe guarding issue!

Yes, I do tend to make my DC's breakfast rather than letting them fend for themselves. But they're younger than the OP's DD and we're very rigid in our breakfast habits here - it's always porridge and fruit, never anything else, and clearly they can't make porridge on their own. But once they've finished, I beat a strategic retreat back upstairs with a coffee and enjoy some peace and quiet by myself. And I don't feel guilty about leaving them pottering around with their toys downstairs until I'm ready to face the day.

Right, so that’s quite different from what the OP is doing?

I did this as a child, turned out I had binge eating disorder that led to being miserable throughout my teens and as a young adult as I travelled along the conveyerbelt of diets. This might not be the case, but i would try switching up her diet to see if she is still claiming to be hungry and eating excessive amounts of stuff (the multiple yogs for example, I would do similar when I binged and in a short space of time- if I was just hungry I'd have just had one), and if she isn't but it keeps happening then try and seek some support. Mine was entangled in anxiety and an emotional/comfort response following trauma; not diagnosing from my armchair but a lot of people put stuff down to bring greedy or whatever which isn't the case, and addressing it early saves a lot of health and mental issues growing up.

I like to relax if I'm off weekend mornings, but could you get up with her, make her something for breakfast and then relax for a bit? Perhaps something like banana oat pancakes with Greek yog and some toppings, Scrambled egg on toast, dippy eggs and soldiers- protein rich stuff that's also tasty! I love cereal but I feel hungry not long after, and although a lot is fortified it's also sugary etc. Also could you do a snack basket or box, put x in for the day and once its gone its gone. Probably trying to just cut everything out would be tricky, but could be fruit, popcorn, flavoured rice cakes etc- gives her access to a reasonable amount of stuff without having free reign; I would recommend locks if it's still not working, although it does send out a damaging message.

People have been harsh on here, my parents are incredible and always did the best for me, but they didn't know what to do to help- and they tried many things, it's tricky.

I think she's too little to be getting up by herself. She will be hungry and not understand her fullness cues yet.

Get up with her and make her some breakfast. I know it's tiring, I have an early riser.

If she likes yoghurt, make her a bowl of Greek yoghurt with honey and some fruit on the side for breakfast.

I have certain foods that are unlimited. So any time of the day my daughter can have cucumber (for example!) as a snack and I make sure she always has a drink nearby.

@Goldbar you’re further describing a completely different scenario
You prepare a breakfast for dc, remain awake and available and retire to bed to read etc
The op is asleep.she’s not prepared breakfast. She’s not available
Can you see the difference?

@OP take her to the doctor and a referral to a nutritionist. It might be totally innocent I.e boredom or can’t wait for proper breakfast but it could also be something like Praeder Willi syndrome. Ignore all the shouty advice here and see the doctor ASAP.

I hate to be controversial but doesn’t she ever get any treat foods? Cake, biscuits?

Oh ignore shouty posts and have child diagnosed online. Yea that stacks up

I’m a bit shocked at the number of people on this thread who seem to think a child can’t cope without food between their evening meal and breakfast time my five year old doesn't eat after 5.30-ish and is fine with water by her bed until breakfast the next morning.

OP, you have said your daughter is overweight so try and nip this in the bud now. Fill her up on healthy choices as much as you can. Allow her treats but when you say so. You need to be firm with her about her helping herself. I can’t imagine my daughter taking food without asking.

@Carboncheque

I’d be worried that a 5 year old is downstairs unsupervised for long enough to eat all that while you’re still in bed.

Really! At 5 they are old enough to b downstairs by themselves, the eating is a concern but my kids were happily downstairs before me without any issues.

@EspressoDoubleShot. As I've said, I think the OP needs to sort out her DC's diet. That may include getting up to make a healthy breakfast or she could leave a healthy breakfast so it's available to her DD. So I agree that there are some things to sort out here.

But I don't buy into the lonely/bored/emotional needs not being met stuff. The food is an issue and I wouldn't be happy with my own DC being left completely unsupervised. I think someone should at least be listening out for them. But a child of that age can play downstairs by themselves and they can come and find a parent if they want company.

@EspressoDoubleShot

Oh ignore shouty posts and have child diagnosed online. Yea that stacks up

No one is saying a diagnosis online, but that it's worth considering and if able to, trying to access more info on it and support. Personally I find a 5 year old eating 3 x wraps, many small yoghurts amongst other things first thing in the morning more than being a bit peckish. It's not exactly 'treat' food either, which suggests its not necessarily for the taste or for a quick hit. If a child wasn't eating people would suggest seeking some help and if people said ah just give them food and make them eat it people would rightly say its not that easy.

Okay -

How your daughter starts the day "sets the standard", if you see what I mean.

So if I were you, I'd be getting up with/before her, and taking things from there, and seeing if there's a difference. Very often food will provide a stand-in for something else, and at that age, while she may be independent, she will also need you around to contain her experience first thing in the morning. I know this may seem counterintuitive or just plain bonkers, but as a psychotherapist I know how much of an impact a lack of parental presence at key moments (i.e. here at the beginning of the day) can then have a knock-on effect on behaviours.

No blame here, btw. Just an observation.

Just a thought but is your DD boredom eating? My DS does this, he is also 5. When he is sitting around if I am doing house work or similar he asks for food, I can be the same as well. I either tell him no to food or just have a drink as you may be thirsty not hungry. As your DD is eating does she have access to a drink? She may well just be thirsty after a nights sleep.

@EspressoDoubleShot

Oh ignore shouty posts and have child diagnosed online. Yea that stacks up

Quite, Espresso.

Especially when you note the Talk topic the OP chose to post her thread on is "child mental health".
And that the little girl is described as "secret eating" - rather than "hungry kid who needs her mum's company".