Does anyone have experience of Borderline Personality in teens?

[toodizzyizzy]

I understand it's a complex diagnosis given by psychiatrists only. My daughter is 17 and her private therapist strongly believes that she has BPD. I understand that she is writing to the GP to ask that she be referred to CAHMS for psychiatric assessment and access to medication (for anxiety I believe).

I'm trying not to get my hopes up as she keeps getting declined by CAHMS (because she's not actually attempted suicide yet). Her MH is so poor that she's having to repeat her first year of A-level.

I have experience of BPD as my brother has the condition. I'm heartbroken my daughter may have the condition too.

I just wondered if anyone on here had any experience/advice. Thank you

[quote toodizzyizzy]@OnTheHillNotOverIt Thank you for sharing this, I'm starting to pick up that lots of people that go on to get diagnosed with ADHD get misdiagnosed too with BPD (as with ASD). I will certainly further consider the possibility of ADHD.

Thanks @Sabire9 that's helpful to know - do you know if your daughter had DBT therapy?

I was also curious if anyone had any experience of Maladaptive Daydreaming - that's something else the therapist has mentioned[/quote]
Yes she had DBT. We (DH & me) also had group therapy at the Michael Rutter centre.

That's just frustrating. A child experiences a significant trauma. Child then shows classic signs of childhood trauma. Instead of assessing child for complex post traumatic stress so that the cause can be addressed, child is labelled with a "personality disorder" tag - despite the fact it specifically should never be applied to children or adolescents anyway. Child misses out on trauma interventions and instead internalises a belief they are to blame. Helpful.

I would not trust such a therapist after this. It's spectacularly incompetent and irresponsible.

If anyone - child or adult - experiences trauma and then suffers accordingly, they need trauma therapies and trauma interventions.

They do not need a collection of victim-blaming labels for their various trauma symptoms that only tinker with the symptoms rather than addressing the root cause, and teach them they are to blame for their own suffering.

I'm sorry if I'm being strong about this, but I am aghast that anybody holding themselves out as a competent therapist would fail to correctly observe that this is very obviously a traumatised person or so much as suggest a personality disorder to a child or adolescent.

@MummyOf4Kids It is so hard, I'm sorry to hear of your suffering too. I hope that you did receive a phone call today?

@Sabire9 thank you for answering my question, I've really appreciated your support

@Malteser71

I work in mental health. In my experience, psychiatrists are not keen to diagnose PD until much later. My colleagues tend to wait until a person is in their early twenties.

I was told this by a pysch too. Apparently it can be hard to distinguish between teen behaviour and bpd.

@toodizzyizzy we did receive a phone call but it was pretty useless to be honest. They just talked about distraction techniques for when she gets the urge to overdose again which is pretty much daily at the moment.
We've been told about all the distraction techniques before abs she's used them all but nothing seems to be working.

@legoriakelne Your reaction reassures me that my shock is not misplaced! I've tried talking to DD, but she's now intensely attached to the therapist! I'm hoping that now the DBT has started we can move away from labels. I will need to consider what I do next very carefully

I was under the impression that psychiatrists can't diagnose personality disorders until adulthood. And even then they like to wait. From my limited experience of working with MH patients it feels like personality disorder diagnoses are given out very commonly rather than looking further into disorders such as ADD, ADHD and autism.

@Boobieboobieboobie Thanks for further clarifying this, I really don't understand why the Therapist mentioned this to a 17 year old

@MummyOf4Kids Your daughter sounds very unwell and distraction technique don't help in isolation. Is she having any therapy or medication? After everything we've been through with my brother I really hoped support for children would be better, I think it's actually worse!

@toodizzyizzy No she's not having anything, which I find unbelievable to be honest. She does have good days but at the moment they're few and far between.
Last week when camhs phoned her they talked about possible OCD or BPD but nothing was mentioned about it today

I’m wary of this - do you have the identical personality now as you did when you were 17? Almost certainly not, we are all constantly evolving and growing. Therefore she needs to know that she will also not necessarily have the same disordered personality in later life as she does now.
She might find it easier to think of her symptoms as coping mechanisms that she has developed to help her survive, rather than a mental health issue.

Hi op I just saw this thread my sister was diagnosed in her 20s but was her most unwell during her teen years. At the age of 13 she started suffering severe panicked attacks serious self harming and suicide attempts wrists bleeding through school uniform extremely unwell lost over 3 stone in weight couldn’t get out of bed for weeks on end constant threats of sectioning I believe it was first thought to be clinical depression my mum tried to not let her get hospitalised she had a psychiatric nurse in our home daily for well over a year different psychiatrists and many types of medication including anti psychotics in her 20s she was diagnosed with eupd now known as bpd and also ocd mainly about cleanliness and smells she did suffer a severe trauma in childhood but she is 34 now and functions ok much better then before still on medication but I wonder if she has asd tbh… I am sorry you are going through this what we went through with my sister was beyond hellish I hope your Dd gets the help she needs whatever that is.

I know this was a couple of years ago but I-just wondered how things were with your daughter and whether she got an ADHD diagnosis. My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD but psychiatric Dr feels elements of BPD. I don’t agree and think it is just a very difficult teenage life coping with undiagnosed ADHD but she wants to run with the BPD diagnosis.
Just interested in how you are now

Thank you for your message, it's been a tough few years but things have improved in some respect. My daughter went onto get an autism diagnosis in April 22, which felt like a positive outcome for her. She stopped seeing her therapist and BPD hasn't really been mentioned again. I'd be very wary of any suggestion of BPD now we know she is neurodivergent. I've read too many harrowing stories of BPD misdiagnosis in autistic/ADHD young people. My son was diagnosed with ADHD In May 23. I'm struggling to get any mental health support for him. I've lost trust in private therapists - her autism seems so obvious now, I can't believe BPD was seen as the most likely diagnosis!

As PP have said, unless there is overwhelming evidence to suggest BPD it is extremely unlikely a psychiatrist will diagnose at your Daughters age. Various good reasons for that. Also as PP have said, its a diagnosis that really only makes sense with early trauma.
I work in a MH assessment role in the NHS and often see young women who think ir have been told they have EUPD or ‘Borderline’ traits when in fact they are actually neurodiverse/ autistic. I believe many older women have been misdiagnosed over the years also.
A common theme in the history is that things start to ‘go wrong’ in early adolescence and the transition to secondary school.

I also have a DD17. She has heavy CAMHS involvement and was diagnosed ASD (15) and ADHD (16). For years she wanted a BPD diagnosis, I think it’s a bit of a social media driven thing with teen girls at the moment. I find it quite irresponsible for the therapist to suggest it to an impressionable teen before suggesting something like ASD / ADHD. It’s a shame because I know if my DD’s therapist has suggested it she would have hung onto that for dear life. And I’m so sorry your daughter is struggling. It makes me so angry that CAMHS only seems to have capacity to see kids when they are actively suicidal. That’s why we got in. Good luck and stay strong.

i just noticed this was an old thread and just read the update. Glad things are getting better OP ❤️

Thank you for replying and the update and glad things seem to have improved. I was surprised the CAMHS dr suggested Borderline - he seemed to think the extreme emotional deregulation could not be explained solely by the diagnosis of ADHD at 16. I just wish they had waited as to an emotional teen girl that may seem like an explanation but things change as they get older (hopefully) and I don’t find it that helpful to her. Anyway we watch and wait … thank you again

@Endofroadinhs
Your local NHS trust is very fortunate to have you. I believe many older women have been misdiagnosed too. Much of my daughter's distress dissipated with her autism diagnosis and understanding of her sensory overload.

@uhtredbebbanburg
Thank you for your message of support, it has been a very isolating experience. Her behavior was so extreme and challenging two years ago, but everything is so much calmer now we understand her autism. Fluoxetine has also helped. I remember she was very much turning to social media to try and validate the BPD diagnosis. It was dangerous. I hope you daughter's mental health is much improved with her diagnosis? We still have flare ups, and it's still distressing at times but I don't feel the despair we used to before the autism diagnosis.

@wishmyhousetidy
I thought emotional dysregulation was a key factor in ADHD, so I'm surprised too that BPD was even mentioned. My 15 year old hormones are raging and it's making his ADHD so much worse. He nearly got hit by a car the other day because he didn't look! He's a flippin' nightmare with his mood swings but I think it will get better as he gets older. Good luck to you too, feel free to check in anytime

I hope this will be a useful thread for others who find themselves in the same situation with th
eir child.