6 year old struggling with her size

[meandpip]

How do you talk to a 6 year old about weight without it becoming a 'thing'. My dd is a 'bigger' girl, she is one of the youngest in her class but one of the tallest and is definitely 'strong'; she came home from school the day saying she wanted to loose weight because she was too heavy. It broke my heart! She is not overweight, we are very active and are out every day cycling, playing sports and in the summer swimming etc, climbing trees...but she IS bigger than most of her peers at school. I know in the past boys have called her fat.
How do I go about discussing weight and food without it becoming a negative conversation?
Thanks so much in advance x

@TheVeryHungryTortoise YES! I have long suspected I have ADHD however am at a loss as where to with it. I have suffered so much in my 37 years, eating disorders, PMDD, anxiety, relationship issues...what route are you taking? I guess the docs is the first port of call, I'm so worried I will be laughed at but at the same time if anyone witnessed my life they would definitely diagnose it. With all this it has made me hyper-aware of her traits as I do not want her to suffer as I have at all. Parenting is hard, parenting with MH issues is even harder!

If your daughter is overweight, please be very careful how you proceed.

I think it's great to speak about food and healthy choices in terms of fuelling your body for energy and for health. Likewise, high carb/high sugar foods are great as a sometimes food but not an everyday food. I would avoid negative connotations of certain food types if you can, like "good food" vs "bad food".

Talk through what BMI is and why it is used; explain how extra weight can impact on health. Not to lose weight to look a certain way. Or that weight impacts on self-value.

If you can be open and honest, best outcome. This year I realised I needed to lose weight, and had a very frank chat with my dad about how much I need to lose to get back to a healthy BMI and how I need to switch up my eating. It was a great chat, and it feels great to have the additional supporter while I chip away at the weight.

@GreyhoundG1rl she has never been overweight in her life. When I say she is big, I don't mean fat. She is tall and broad whereas 'most' 6 year old girls are very skinny and she just isn't like that. She is not unhealthy, if she is 'overweight' it wouldn't be by much. It's mean kids noticing she doesn't look like them and I need to show her that everyone looks different and weight doesn't matter. I have never ever put any emphasis on her weight, sometimes kids grow out and then up, all we can do is teach them healthy habits. As I've said previously there are probably some areas I could improve on like doing more meal prep so we don't have to rush a quick meal when we don't get home until after 7 because of her clubs but all in all she is very healthy and happy. I wanted some advice on how to have a healthy talk with her about her body without talking about weight, and have received that from lots of lovely people.
She is fine how she is, I would never ever tell a child otherwise, it can be massively damaging. I find it interesting that people are telling me my child is overweight because of how I have described her! Weight is just one of the very very many ways you can measure health.

Sounds like you already have some great advice here OP.

If you’re looking for a book to promote body image we have a great one called ‘Strong is the new pretty’. It’s a pictorial book that is packed full of strong girls in all shapes and sizes doing what they do best. Lots of sporty images but also girls in situations demonstrating kindness, creativity, independence.

Weight is just one of the very very many ways you can measure health.
Sure. But being overweight as a child can have life long consequences. Obviously I can't see your child but if she's significantly different to "most" 6 year olds, and you say she is, I don't see why you'd dismiss this as an issue?

@GreyhoundG1rl I didn't say she was significantly different, I said she is bigger than most, I did stress that I didn't mean fat. I think my initial message has been misconstrued here, I appreciate you replying but perhaps lets leave it here

Ok. I'm not out to cause any offence. Apologies.

@OlivesTree that book sounds great, so good to show them that women come in all shapes and sizes. She is such a strong girl, she needs to know it's a good thing. She's so great at gymnastics and tennis...so many positives, its so sad that kids pick up on these things so young. Everyone needs a kick up the bottom when it comes to weight! It would be different if she was massively overweight, stationary all the time etc but that is not her at all, just because she isn't stick thin like her peers does not mean she should feel different.

What size clothes does she wear OP? It may be the case that she is a bit overweight but as she is already very active looking at portion sizes etc should sort it fairly quickly as she grows.

I have a 6 year old and is probably one of the children you'd describe as 'skinny'. She looks very slim compared to some of her classmates but is nowhere near underweight.