Ongoing support thread?

[SouthWestmom]

Shall we have one?

It's so difficult to deal with.

Anyone raising a child or young person with mental health issues who wants to just check in?

SouthWestmom

Noef we have had to discuss sectioning with both the CAMHS crisis team and my son’s private Psychiatrist over the past few months. It’s such a hard thing to even think about. Thankfully it hasn’t come to that and I hope it’s the same for you.

My son is doing quite well on his meds. He’s been on the lowest therapeutic dose since the start of January and we have had flickers of our old son now and again, plus he’s been generally less anxious. He wants to go back to try the adjusted CBT again, so we agreed that with his Psychiatrist at the last appointment and I have an appointment booked for half-term week. Slight fly in the ointment is that the Psych feels he needs to titrate up to cope with the challenge of therapy, but he was extremely resistant. She has given me prescription for the higher dose (with his agreement) so if it’s obvious he’s not coping we can up it straight away, rather than having to wait for her to get another prescription to us.

I think I’ve seen a dip in the improvement over the past week, which I was half-expecting, following discussions with the Psychiatrist, as that’s a typical course for our family and meds - good initial response, before a drop off and need to titrate up. He doesn’t agree with me at the moment, but I am hoping we will get chance to chat about it over the weekend. He never copes well with holidays and with the half-term coming up I’d like to do everything we can to try and keep him on as even a keel as possible through that week.

Haven’t read the thread back yet, but will try and find time this evening or over the weekend. He’s about to arrive home and then we’ll be into his decontamination ritual, so no time right now.

Hi. I have a 14 year old with a diagnosis of ocd. She had therapy earlier in the year and it lessened the symptoms. She is still a bit germophobic but doesn't have the intrusive thoughts.

The other problem I have is her explosive temper. She has broken 1 ipad, 2 phones and a computer. When she was little she also broke a tv.

Camhs have refused to see her again because the referral was for ocd and suggested a family support worker. They weren't much help when she was little as they suggested all the textbook stuff which doesn't work.

She was assessed for ADHD and the therapist and I both agreed she had it and even she did but the diagnosis didn't happen because the school doesn't see it.

The other night she totally exploded because I didn't take her in the car when I dropped my son off at Cubs. The reason why was because she had been annoying him so he whinged and whined about it. They were fighting so I didn't want both of them in the car together. Ds can be an awkward sod but her reaction was off the scale with her taking my keys so I couldn't drive and slinging the rest on the drive. When I told her she was grounded she said i can't stop her from going out and saying ds was grounded too.

I find her very controlling in general. Ds backs down if you persevere but she doesn't.

She is back to normal now but am still a bit shaken as it won't be the last time.and am at a loss as to what to do

@thebeesknees123 why won't they see someone with OCD? Ours have been really engaged.

Sadly my dc was sectioned but the upside is the unit staff seem fantastic. So I'm hopeful we may get a solid starting point to recovery.

They won't see her because the ocd is a lot better. Unfortunately, the anger management is the same, which is something I have needed help with for a long time.

We had a chat tonight. She is having problems with a particular friend and she has decided to cool it with her, no drama.

I asked if her anger ever scared her and she says she feels she could explode so she is obviously just as overwhelmed by it. We had a chat about managing emotions and I also think it's a learning curve for her re staying away from.people who make her feel bad.

The good thing is she is very open with me but downside is her impulsivity.

I hope your dc has a quick recovery. It's great that the staff in the unit are helping him

I ready your post and wondered about adhd then saw that that had been considered. It's tricky isn't it with the different settings requirement? I think with some conditions like ADHD and add masking it is easier than with an illness like ocd.

Yes, girls are known for it

Sorry to hear your news southwestmom.
Yes as high performing, dd masked her ADHD/ADD until she was 15. It is often the root cause of self harm, anxiety, depression.

Because she was treated/diagnosed privately her diagnosis was clinically confirmed without involving school. The turnaround was incredible.

That's interesting. How much did it cost?

The assessment itself about £8-900. The consultations and therapy about £5000k. You can get the assessments done discretely. Shd add our camhs refused any support and said the psych's diagnosis at 17 was wrong because she was too old to have it. That was just after a crisis when they refused any support for three months thereafter.

Thanks. That is an awful lot, isn't it

Just had another major meltdown. Full on screaming because I didn't get the drink she wanted back from town. I have left a message with CAMHS to do something.

What constitutes a crisis?

Overdose!

Christ! Hope all is improving

Yes. If you read back, dd is 20 now. Very well recovered and manages her MH well. She lost a yr of 6th form but once diagnosed turned the corner. She is at an oxbridge college now nd doing ok. Just been to see her with her methylphenidate and fluoxetine supplies.

It's a hard journey on which parents need much support. Often there is light at the end of the tunnel but it's tough and there's not much out there for parents.

That's very encouraging and puts my problems in perspective. I do know others with problem teens and it's handy to bounce off them and see them come out the other side ..I know we are in the minority, though, and just wish it were easier

Noef sorry to hear your news, but pleased to hear the unti has good staff. I really hope they can help.

Bees that all sounds like a lot to cope with. Will CAMHS at least agree to a new assessment, as it’s for a different need?

We are having to go private for ds1, as CAMHS are worse than dire here. We were just spinning our wheels with them being told he’d have to wait longer and longer and then they refused to engage with us if he was having private sessions whilst on their waiting list, so effectively ensuring he would have no treatment at all while he spiralled out of control waiting for their help. It seems to be a bit of a postcode lottery.

Well, I was right he came home from college on Friday and went to pieces, self-loathing, study stress, social worries, the state of the environment, politics, everything you could possibly think of that’s bleak. It took some doing, but I eventually got him to agree to try titrating the dose up. As of now, he’s had 3 of the higher doses, so I am hoping he will start to settle down a little soon. Unfortunately he has a coursework deadline mid-week and that always causes him to spiral. He has strong PDA traits, which means deadlines are a huge issue for him, as his instinct is to avoid them, which of course just makes everything worse.

We had a big family party at my parent’s house last night. Unfortunately it clashed with the only time ds2 has been able to see his friends for months, with him being out of school, so he didn’t come with us and had a sleepover at his mates instead, which left ds1 feeling really socially anxious and skulking about in corners. I eventually persuaded him to come and sit with us and he spent the rest of the night on his phone, showing his Grandpa funny YouTube videos, but I think the stress of the event has taken it’s toll, as he’s been extremely demanding today and wanted my undivided attention pretty much every second. I feel a bit bad right now, because I just snapped at him when he was shouting through my bedroom door at me about somethign and nothing while I was trying to get changed for bed. He keeps his siblings awake most nights like this and it isn’t fair on them at all.

The party really made me think. His anxiety was so much more obvious without his brother there to spend the whole time with and if he’s that anxious around only family (literally just one set of Grandparents, 3 sets of Aunts and Uncles and their offspring, all of whom he knows really well) how on earth does he manage to cope with school/college etc? It’s no wonder it has taken a toll on his mental health.

Thanks all. It's quite fresh so I won't post much about it. But all professionals/practitioners so far have been supportive, nice people.

I think teenage years are tough to navigate and college/school is so much more than education - social interaction is built into every hour of every day at school. So tough when it does come easy, but impossible without suppport.

Noef, I am sorry it has come to a section for your DC.

I hope it means that they are now getting the right help in the unit, and I think it is good that you are getting on OK with the staff there.

to you and everyone else here.

Noef as others have said, I'm sorry it has come to sectioning for your DD, I hope that they can give her the help she needs. for everyone.
Things have gone a bit quieter with my DS, he is back at school and is receiving help from some pastors at school, once a week meeting. He wont tell me much but told me that he had told them his Mum gets stressed. Feel quite sad cause I know there is a genetic component to his problems. Very glad of the lull at the moment, but he is threatening to not go to school tomorrow.

Thanks everyone, it's kind of like facing your worst nightmare but actually it might be ok. So, I'm hopeful.

It's a long haul isn't it, so impacted by not being visible.

I hope things are going as well as possible at the unit, Noef.

Do you get to speak to your DD yet, or visit?

Sorry, was trying to say DC. Autocorrect had other plans!!

Hello , yes - one thing I found missing was information for parents in the internet. It's actually a really supportive environment for us and staff are keen to work with us. So that's a huge relief.

That's good SouthWestmom, I'm glad the staff are supportive.

Not feeling too good here tbh. DS was ill again last week with his tummy problems, sent to A&E with possible suspected appendicitis on Thursday, he was scanned, diagnosed with severe constipation and is on an impaction regime. Now on half term, obviously meant he had two more days off school. We have liaised with the school but got an automatic letter about his attendance the other day. He claims he isn't unhappy at school, aside from a couple of teachers he doesn't like. I have paid to get a letter from the Doctor for school. Unfortunately though he has kicked off the last couple of nights, arguing with his younger brother and both times has got a knife out of the kitchen drawer. Both times I have taken it off him. Tonights argument was about him wanting to watch football when his brother is on the XBox, he has a TV in his room but cannot get the sky channels. I compromised by saying that he could watch the second half, didn't go down well, fighting with his brother to get the controls etc, then he got a knife out. Really scares me, I haven't told my DH about this yet but I need to. I am trying so hard to stay calm with him but it is so hard to be kind when quite frankly I sometimes dont like him and that is being polite. So wish he was ok and that I wasn't looking ahead to his teenage years with dread.