Anxious about driving with my newborn and ensuring he is situated properly in his car seat..

[CQ1986]

Hi all.
Since becoming a parent I have been extremely anxious about taking my baby out in the car. My baby is nearly 3 weeks old. I have added large baby on board stickers to both mine and my fiancé's car.

I am worried that I am not sitting my baby correctly and he may lean to much against the straps of the car seat and choke..im also worried about him throwing up and choking. To the point I will only allow him in the car if someone is watching him in the back seat.

Has anyone else suffered with this anxiety. Do you have a tips for me to ensure my son is kept safe in the seat whilst I am driving.

I have a large mirror already so I can see him whilst driving. Not sure if there is anything else I can do.

Thanks in advance.

Speak to your midwife or HV.

Your concerns aren't normal (sorry but you need to hear this)

Are there other things you have anxiety around?

Hi OP, I mean this in the nicest of ways, but would it be worth having a talk with your midwife or GP if you've been signed off by midwife team?

I've never heard of a baby choking against the car seat straps, and if you're having excessive and unusual worries then it could be a sign of post natal anxiety and could be helped with some support. Having post natal anxiety is very common and doesn't mean anybody will question your ability to look after your baby.

The only thing I can think of is whether you mean that when your baby is in the car, the angle of the car seat is so steep that his head falls forward, is that what's happening? If so that is a fitting issue and should be able to be corrected. But if this is not happening, then it sounds like the fitting is probably ok so might be an unusual/excessive worry and therefore more of a PNA sign.

I though baby on board stickers are less of a safety thing, more of a stealth boast that you have kids.

If you are that nervous stop driving you could kill someone and no i don't say that lightly

Your baby is still tiny and you are possibly anxious about a lot of things. It will lesson over time. A year from now you will laugh about it.

When you've done a few drives and realise baby is fine it will reduce your anxiety.

No other concerns or worries about anything else.

Hi there.

Thanks for your feedback. I'm new on mums net. Didn't realise so many people can be so judgemental. Your feed back was positive and reassuring which I appreciate. Thanks again. I'm sure this is something I'm just over worrying. Many thanks

I found having them in the front seat (air bags off!) helped as I could see them and help them if an emergency ever happened. Maybe something to try?

That's a really good idea. Thank you for this advice

If your front airbag can go off you could have baby in the front. You would probably have to use the seat belt not isofix base. Lot's of information on how to belt it in correctly online or in the manual.

It might be over-worrying but I was exactly the same. My dd as a newborn spat up and vomited a lot, especially in the car. I tried to avoid journeys where there was just the driver and her in the car, instead having someone next to her to mop up the vomit.

It's easy for others to dismiss this as irrational - tbf I knew the actual chance of her actually dying was slim - but I still didn't want vomit all over the car!

Instead I took lots of buses. Buses are good because you can often keep the baby in the pram so they can nap en route.

There are a few Facebook groups you can join with car seat specialists in. You can upload a pic of your baby and ask for a fit check . Might make you feel better x

When you're driving, you basically have to be able to drive as if there is no one else in the car. Your full attention needs to be on the road.
Do you have a lot of essential journeys you need to make by car just now? You will probably find your anxiety decreases as the baby grows and you get more used to it all. But it's natural to worry about your baby.

Just in case... the poster means "turn off" not "Go off" - you definitely don't want the air bag to go off it would squash the baby!

@Toddlerteaplease
They always just make me roll my eyes

Those first few weeks/months can be scary and stressful, its good that other than this all is well. I'd say on a practical level some shops will do a car seat check, Halfords used to not sure if they still do? Or I am sure your health visitor would be happy to check- I'd explain your worries and you might find something practical like this will help put your mind at ease. Until you feel comfortable though don't drive alone with them, sounds silly but one of my friends was similar and found having a mirror put in the back so she could see bubs face in the mirror and 'practicing' with a doll in there for a few drives helped.

Don't be a dick.

Those stickers are also used by emergency services in the event of an accident.

If you don’t want the baby in the front seat you could try getting one of those mirrors you attach to the head rest so you can check on him through the rear view mirror. It might give you some reassurance.

This isn’t an irrational fear as it’s something that’s drilled into you when you’re pregnant. I didn’t like it when they fell asleep and their heads fell forward.

Don’t stop driving, that will make it worse. Try small trips with places you can easily pull over. Don’t forget that your baby will keep getting stronger and it won’t be long before they can hold their head up better.

Before you know it you’ll have a big toddler who’s turning around looking at everything and chatting to you.

I was exactly the same OP!

I had a c/s and didn’t drive for 8 weeks so I was fine during that time period as if we were ever in a car I would sit in the back seat with him.

But when I was able to drive myself I absolutely hated it because I was low level panicking that something was going to happen to him in his car seat. I had one of those mirrors but not being visibly able to see him in his car seat made me anxious.

After a few weeks of this (and trying to avoid going anywhere in the car) I decided it was just easier to have him in the front with me. I deactivated the air-bags and I felt so much better with him next to me and me being able to see his face and be able to get to him etc.

My holster are 6 and 10 now and I still get anxiety about something happening to them. It is perfectly normally and typical protective behaviour to feel worried about your very vulnerable three week old baby who is beyond your reach and out of your sight in your car.

Just pop your baby on the front seat and relax. As the months pass you will start to feel more reassured about safety and then you can move him back when you feel ready. I think I kept mine up front with me until he outgrew his baby carrier 😂

I more meant the if for the car. Many cars you can't turn the front airbag off so baby couldn't go in the front. You of course have to have the front airbag off for a rear facing seat and check the car manual it's even allow. Some cars your not allowed seat's in the front or back middle.

Don't put your baby in the front seat! You don't want to become distracted whilst driving and peering at them constantly.

Do you need to drive the baby about right now? Why not wait several weeks until both you and the baby are feeling a little more robust, you'll feel very differently about everything after just a short while. It's very early days.

Hi @CQ1986 , i can definitely sympathise with your anxiety. I had PNA and PND but that isnt something that resolves overnight so i was still worried about going out with baby in a car seat. There is a car seat group on FB called Car Seat Safety UK. You can join and post a pic of your little one in their car seat and they will give you advice on how to improve the fit etc. They also post lots of helpful tips on car seat safety. I found making sure i had educated myself on all the advice quite reassuring. It turns out i hadnt actually bought a very good seat as i had a very very tiny baby and the seat i had wasn't brilliant for tiny ones, but i was at least able to get the very best fit i could and then when i upgraded her infant carrier, i knew to go for a better option.

Those stickers are also used by emergency services in the event of an accident.
No. No they are not. Emergency services do their jobs properly and check the car for occupants with or without a sticker. And what accident scenario mangles the car so badly you can’t make out who is in the back yet a cheapo sticker is totally unharmed and completely readable?! Not to say everyone using them is an attention seeker though. Their purpose is probably just a bit less dramatic and maybe says I’m entitled to be in this parent and child space or please don’t park too close because I need to get a car seat in/out.

OP I’d ask your HV to come round. She could have a quick glance at your car seat to hopefully provide some reassurance and you could talk to her about your anxiety which does sound a bit extreme. Baby is safest in the back of the car so I wouldn’t be moving them to the front when your fears aren’t rational. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of, the post natal period is so difficult and PNA/PND is so common and not something you just have to live with when help is available.

Thanks. I'm only going on essential journeys at the moment. Usually, I am running around after everyone else. But I am just letting friends and family visit me at home for now. 😊