Hello,
I’m seeking advice on how to best approach my child’s school regarding their management of incidents involving my child and a SEN child in their class.
The children are 10 and in mainstream school. Since Reception class my child has been bitten, scratched, hair pulled, punched and more recently had objects thrown in their face.
My child is very forgiving and doesn’t like the idea of the other child having nobody to play with, so always includes them. They can play quite nicely together for short periods of time. The other child’s parents are also lovely and I do like them.
However the other child is quite possessive of my child, and doesn’t like it if my child chooses to play with someone else or participate in an activity that they don’t want to do. This starts with a verbal argument, escalates, and ends with my child being hurt and coming home with marks.
I have spoken to my child over the years about having empathy for the other child, how we are all different, having to find a teacher and take space from other child if needed.
From what I can tell, and appreciating I very likely don’t know the full situation, there has never been any real consequences for the other child, yet my child has been allowed to be verbally and physically abused on a regular basis during their time at primary school.
The situation has not improved over six years at school and escalated last week. My child was engaging in free play at wrap around care, building a structure, and the other child took issue with this, tearing it down as it was being built. My child persevered with the activity which resulted in them having the parts thrown in their face and the other child jumping on them, punching and kicking. My child left school with bruises to their face and body. I was told that the other child was asked to stay inside for the remainder of the wrap around care, and their parents informed.
The next day, the other child was asked to stay away from my child but followed my child around smiling and laughing, but not talking to them. I am struggling to have empathy for them now as it appears that the child is aware of what they have done, and also finds it funny. I have also witnessed them being verbally unkind towards others and finding this funny.
I have spoken to school several times and they have promised to keep an eye on it, but incidents stop only for a short time then reoccur.
I’m at a point now where I’m upset for my child and upset at myself for allowing this to go on for so long, but I am not sure of what I can reasonably ask of the school where there is SEN present. I am not sure of what the child’s needs are, only that they are present, I am also not aware that they receive any 1-1 support (forgive me, not sure if this is relevant).
How do I best approach school to determine how they will keep my child safe, what they will do to prevent any further incidents and how do I escalate if they fail to do so?
If you have read all of this, thank you! I hope I have worded this as intended, without malice to the other child who I understand needs support.