Need clarification about language used when dealing with bullying.

[Stressedaboutthis]

I need some clarification, explanation and advice over the following situation.

My DC is one of many who are on the receiving end of some terrible behaviour at our school by one child. I would say it is on the top end of the scale of bad behaviour with physical violence and verbal abuse. There are lots of children who are targeted, not just one although some DC receive more than others. The DC in question has no SEN we are aware of.

This behaviour is becoming increasingly worse and I am very concerned about it as are others whose DC have been targeted and injured. When my DC has been the target I have addressed it with the school. Despite some minor punishments I hear about via my DC there doesn't seem to be a lot being done about.

My school has a very clear bullying and safeguarding policy. However IMO I do not think they are following it. During a meeting I think I used the word bullying once and it was as if I had said something really terrible about a child. The teacher got very upset and defensive and said "this is not bullying". Why would this not be bullying? That says to me that if it is not bullying then they don't have to follow their own policy. What else would you call constant physical aggression? I am now very conscious of using this word when pulling them up on this DC's behaviour despite how bad it is.

I need to go back to my school following another incident with my DC. I know that once again I am going to be told that they need to safeguard the other DC and that it is not bullying. This is a wheel that keeps turning and I feel I need to be better informed to get this stopped.

I welcome any comments about this.

Definitely refer to their own policies and quote them if you need to.
Regarding language to use - if it’s bullying then that’s what it is.
Not sure whether SEN makes children exempt. I have my suspicions it might as the child that bullied my dc managed to bully another child out of the school as well and got away with it. They were aggressive physically and mentally and said the most awful hurtful things.

The child does not have SEN. They are unhappy and because they are so my school seems to think they deserve some special concession with regards to being disciplined. They most certainly are not going through their process as outlined in their online policy. They do not want to call the behaviour "bullying" they are desperate to minimise it.

The thing is, and I'm not excusing the behaviour, but child may well have a seriously crap home life and they may be trying to gain his trust. So giving him a nice school environment -

DD had a similar child in her class and he would hit kick and punch anyone near him along with the growing chairs and scissors -

She moved schools because she was so unhappy in the class environment.

Were they doing anything effective? Probably not!

Policies are abstract and don't have actual children in mind when they're drawn up. Many schools don't realise that in real life situations, bullying is not black and white, when real children are involved it is difficult and emotional to see the wood for the trees. The school needs to step up and help this child, it's bullying. Next time you're told it's not I would stand your ground, you, the other parents and the children who are the victims feel it is and those feelings should not be dismissed.

Following

It is really stressful as a parent when you're trying to be decent and sort out an issue and you come up against denial.
It took getting to a panel meeting for even an admittance of bullying in my case.
I would give yourself a time frame to get this sorted or escalate.
Totally agree that policies don't have children in mind. I think they are often drafted to protect the schools.
Just don't let the teacher manipulate you in to feeling bad for having concerns. You have every right to flag an issue up.
Good luck x