Can a nursery ban breastfeeding on its premises?

[gemmamc]

I wonder if anyone here has had a similar experience. I am settling my ds into nursery. He is 10 months and still b/f. I still feed him during the day (as opposed to just in the morning and evening) because

1. I haven't managed to get him to take milk from a bottle and
   
2. because he needs a lot of breast milk for his Calcium: he is not much into solids yet and he can't have cheese, yoghurt, etc...He asks for the feed, and I have been giving it regularly around 2-3 pm.
   
   When I picked him up Friday at 2 pm he was desperate for a feed. But when I asked whether it was ok of to b/f there (I guess I shouldn't have asked, I should have just done it!) I was told I couldn't feed him on the premises because "there are children around"(!!) and because other parents may get upset. I had to put him screaming in the pram and go home.
   
   Soon I will have to leave him in there full time because of work, and I was hoping to drop in and feed him in the middle of the day (I work from home not too far from the nursery) as long as he still needs it. I know people who have done this in other nurseries...
   
   But now I am really shocked by such a b/f- unfriendly policy and I even wonder if it's totally legal or at least consistent with guidelines for nurseries. It's known locally as a very good nursery, and I live in a part of London where breasfeeding is very widespread, so I didn't expect this at all.
   
   I can't change nursery easily as there are waiting lists (also for good childminders there are waiting lists here!). What should I do? I can't afford a nanny by the way. I feel discriminated against too, because b/f for me is not so much a choice but a necessity given ds's allergy.

[lizzytee]

Gemmamc, I am disgusted at all you've related. As well as putting your complaint in writing, have you considered contacting your local branch of NCT? I'm involved with mine (in London) and I know we have picked up things like this from time to time. The reason I mention it is that if x hundred other parents of babies and young children in the area where your nursery operates are aware of their crassness, it's not good for business.

[frasersmummy]

och for goodness sake..

makes you want to ask why its fine in Glasgow but not in London doesnt it??

hope the op gets some satisfaction from the nursery manager.. I am shocked at their attitude

[Madlentileater]

incredible.
you definitely should complain and do all the other things suggested there, but I can imagine that finding a solution to your problem is uppermost, esp as you are going back to work.
How about contacting NCT/LLL/Breastfeeding Network, as if they have a local contact they may well be able to a) point you in the direction of better childcare and b) take up this issue on behalf of all mothers and babies in your area.

[myredcardigan]

Gemma which area of London are you in? Perhaps Lizzie can help you. This is the sort of thing the NCT is very good at.

[lizzytee]

sorry pressed 'post' too soon. To contact NCT email [email protected] and or call the enquiries no and ask to speak to Anne Fox or Louise Brant.

[Febes]

Outrageous!!!
As a BF-der of a 9 and a half month old I would snarl at anyone who denied my child a feed if she needed it. I am in SW london and the nursery we used was lovely- now using a childminder.
Complain!!!!!!!!!

[catweazle]

My DD has been at nursery since Jan, and FT since July, and I BF her at nursery every morning when I drop her off.

I did actually wonder about going up to feed her midday when she first started but thought it might upset her to have to see me leave twice. I didn't even consider that the nursery wouldn't allow it... who is providing a service for whom?

I wouldn't be at all happy to be paying £900 to a nursery that told me I couldn't feed my baby

[ShinyPinkShoes]

Pull him out on grounds of descrimination- threaten to go to the press and they won't pursue the fees.

[IHeartIona]

totally outraged by your story!

[georgimama]

Please name and shame said nursery right here - my son's nursery will stock expressed breastmilk for babies that are not on formula and provides a parents' room for mothers to come in and BF. I would have thought that was normal. If they aren't prepared to offer such facilities they are not really a nursery, they are a pre-school and should not be taking under 2s(and charging the exhorbitant rates for under 2s that they are no doubt charging). Disgusting.

[idontbelieveit]

Have to agree with ShinyPinkShoes, they are discriminating against yous ds and you. Take him out and refuse to pay the fees. Go to the OFSTED this is absolutely disgusting.

[cockles]

I agree, this is appalling. I would tell them you are going to complain to ofsted and publicize the issue, and ask them to reconsider (on the grounds others have mentioned). Fwiw I have breastfed my son (now 2.9) at nursery and I never even considered asking, just did it where we were. From about a year and a bit I would ask him to wait til we got home as it didn't seem fair on the other babies, but it's a short trip for us. In the current situation for you I would feed him anyway in a quiet corner- what are they going to do?

[2point4kids]

That is disgusting.

I would definitely look elsewhere and when you leave this nursery dont pay the extra fees etc as I think you are well within your rights to refuse to pay for a service that you are not receiving.
They cant honestly expect you to pay a full time fee for a part time service which involves you having to take your DS home for 2 hrs each day and miss that time at work purely because they dont want the other children to see a baby being breast fed?
Surely the other children see babies being given a bottle? In which case its discriminating against breast feeding to ban it for that reason surely?
I'm sure Ofsted will have something to say on the matter!

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

Is it a chain nursery? Different issues but I had a terrible time with one chain nursery. We switched to an owner run nursery and it was just so much better (facilities not as good, but the standard of care was 100X better).

I think this is pretty appalling tbh. Not so much the bfeeding issue (that's just insane) but the fact they were happy to let you walk your screaming child home. Anywhere caring should be concerned about sending a child home that upset when it could be sorted out by a quick breastfeed.

Is a childminder an option? We've been lucky to find a very professional and caring childminder - often childminders can be more flexible - and if you find a good one the care is every bit as good/better than a nursery. Especially for young babies. (We've used a mix of childminders and nurseries over the years- sometimes at the same time).

I would be worried about a nursery this rigid and unable to think outside the box. How would they cope with a really difficult/unusual/awkward situation. This should be easy to sort.

[moondog]

I can't believe this.
Fucking outrageous!

How dreadfully stressful and upsetting for you Gemma. I know I would want to run a mile from people who displayed such hostile lunatic principles but it is hard if you are stuck for childcare.

Go after the bastards or they will do it to someone else.
Remember also that asking permission to breastfeed is not a good idea. Just do it.

Also, completely beside the point but your baby could go all day without a milk feed of any kind.

Burning with rage for you.

[gemmamc]

Hi all,
thanks again. I just wanted to let you know that after two sleepless nights I made the decision to quit the nursery. I did call Ofsted and they were hopeless - the woman on the helpline claimed there is no policy on bf. Not sure what to do but I am pleased with my decision although now I face an emergency with childcare and I've lost a big deposit

Then again, my son is worth much more than that...

[moondog]

Blimey Gemma.
Good for you.

I would contact breastfeeding helplines for advice and also go to local press (I think someone like Assoc. for Breastfeeding Mothers could help you with that?)

Tiktok may have some more useful advice.

Have you written to nursery saying why you are leaving? Do and cc it to everyone you can think of. That gives them the willies.

[Pannacotta]

Good for you (I would have some the same but argues for my deposit back), agree with moondog re writing and cc-ing to all and sundry.
Try posting on here (CM section) and also on Gumtree for childcare maybe?

[JulesJules]

Have just seen this and can't believe it, I'm so angry for you.

Agree with other posters, write to the nursery, demanding the return of your deposit, Ofsted and local press (copy in the nursery) Make as much public fuss as possible and bring those bastards down!

People with these attitudes towards working women and bf should not be running nurseries ffs.

None of which helps your current childcare crisis, of course. Hope you manage to get something sorted out, good luck.

[stleger]

I am horrified! I am equally horrified that there is no policy. My neice is 21, her aunt was her childminder. They used to visit her mum in the convent school office where she worked for a lunchtime breastfeeding session. That was back in the 'dark ages' - i am so cross on your behalf!

[chipmonkey]

Gemma, name and shame!

Also, I think you need to talk to someone higher up in Ofsted, if they have no policy on bf then why don't they? They should!

So for you!

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

Ofsted are interested in paperwork rather than the practicalities of care (ime).

I hope you get good childcare sorted soon. I think their attitude was a big warning for all sorts of issues tbh- you've done the right thing removing him.

[WilfSell]

Definitely name and shame. And maybe the power of MN can help you out somehow with childcare: are you willing to tell us whereabouts you are?