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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding vs. Formula vs. Expressed Breastmilk

39 replies

JamTartLover · 23/08/2025 10:14

Hi all,

I'm a mum of an 8 week old and really struggling with how I am feeling about the feeding options.

After a difficult birth with a couple of hospital admissions initially, I wasn't able to establish breastfeeding early on (the midwives were really busy so weren't able to provide support, the hospital furniture isn't ergonomic for breastfeeding comfortably etc.)

I expressed breastmilk and gave formula or the first few weeks but recently (within the last couple of weeks), I have been trying to breastfeed. I have been going to support groups and working with community midwives to help establish breastfeeding but I don't know whether it's working for me and my baby.

I don't know whether it's normal for her stage of development but she is constantly feeding, ie. I will feed her for about 10-15 mins, she will fall asleep, I will put her down and then 10 mins later, she will be hungry again. I know that she could be going through a growth spurt but I feel like all I am doing is breastfeeding and I'm really struggling with it.

I enjoyed expressing milk and giving it to her that way, and I have a good schedule to ensure my milk supply doesn't drop.

Yesterday, I gave my baby formula and felt relief that I didn't have to breastfeed. My husband fed and burped her and I just felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.

I feel like I am giving up early on but I also want to enjoy my baby whilst she is young. I'm not against formula in any way but there is so much emphasis on breastfeeding (which i understand the benefits of and that it can't be replicated) which I feel is adding to the guilt of not being able to do it.

I would like to understand whether anyone else had the same issues and whether anyone else felt the same way if you wanted to breastfeed but couldn't for whatever reason?

OP posts:
Original poster
JamTartLover · 24/08/2025 10:58

Ghht · 24/08/2025 01:20

My baby is 9 weeks old and breastfeeding has been so difficult, but in the last few days I feel like it’s getting better.

My baby went through a cluster feeding stage between weeks 4-9 where she fed on me all day, everyday (she was just doing that every evening before). It was absolutely awful and I barely made it. For example, just to go to the toilet, I would have to feed her, run for a wee, then pick her up to feed her again because she’d be screaming by the time I got back to her. The feeding was so constant and I’m still in shock from it.

It has become better and she’ll go 1-2hrs between feeds now, and 2-3hrs at night after 1am. My supply now feels more steady and it’s like I know when my breasts need emptying, instead of always feeling drained and empty.

It’s so incredibly hard though. Sometimes my partner gave her a bottle of formula when I was overwhelmed (I should’ve pumped but I felt too exhausted). I’ve also given her a bottle of formula myself once or twice when I’ve been at my wits ends- I just wanted to do anything to make her full and give my aching body a chance. I also needed a break from anything touching my breasts. I haven’t managed to create a pumped stock of milk because up until now she’s just always been on me.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I just wanted to sympathise with how hard it is. When I was in the depths of it I couldn’t find anyone who had a similar experience of such prolonged and frequent feeding, it made me feel so alone…and it still does because I’m barely out of it myself.

My first baby was formula fed and I don’t see any harm in formula or combi feeding. You must look after yourself and your mental health, ultimately do what’s best for you because that’s what’s best for the baby too.

I'm glad it's become easier for you and I really resonate eith the toilet aspect!

Having a break really helped me when my husband did the feed so I'll definitely rely on that support if it becomes too much again.

Thanks for your response!

OP posts:
Original poster
JamTartLover · 24/08/2025 11:04

Yeah, definitely! The only person who is actually putting pressure on me is myself. My husband even said to switch to formula to make things easier!

Thanks for your response!

OP posts:
BeastAngelMadwoman · 24/08/2025 11:22

Controversial opinion maybe but I don't actually think the issue is a pressure to breastfeed. I think the issue is a lack of support to breastfeed and the constant 'oh just give her a bottle' if you dare to say that you're finding it tough.

It is tough to establish and yes it's totally normal for them to feed constantly as that's how your supply increases. Personally I find the difficulties are massively outweighed by the convenience and always having the ability to hand to feed and soothe 24/7 and I also think it gets a lot easier as you go on.

That being said, if you want to formula feed then there's nothing wrong with that, as long as the desire to do so is coming from you and not outside pressures.

Paaseitjes · 24/08/2025 16:39

Breast fed babies feed for both food and comfort, so she may well be nursing more for comfort, especially in the evening. It can be exhausting. Bottle fed babies get comfort from toys, dummies and cuddles which is fine too!

Edit: I found the first 3 months of breast feeding very hard. Everyone says it gets easier and they're right. Was it worth ploughing through? I'm not sure, I was way too stubborn to quit! It's certainly easier overnight and when I'm with him, but pumping for nursery and dad's day is a pain, but I'm in a country where we go back to work earlier

Hereforthecommentz · 24/08/2025 16:45

It is completely normal for bf babies to cluster feed. I gave up with the first after 6 weeks I felt awful and regretted it. My 2nd I had all sorts of problems mastitis ect but plodded on even though it was hell. After 3 months it was much better and carried on for 2 years. It's all down to you. Both kids are fine now! Bf is obviously better because they have antibodies in but it's not the end of the world if you can't do it and it's making you miserable. I do wonder was it worth going though weeks of crying and pain but I think it was overall to feed him for that long it was easier in the night to breastfeed so there are pros and cons. Do what ever you feel is best. My kids are 7 and 13 now and you don't think ow I fed one more that the other. It's a short time in their lives. Make yourself happy and don't feel guilty like I did as its nothing to feel guilty about x

Sunnyscribe · 24/08/2025 18:18

If it's really stressing you out and deep down you're not sure you want to do it, you don't have to. I tried to breastfeed my two but was difficult because they both needed a hospital stay and also had horrendously cracked nipples and just felt so stressed with it all. Im the end I did expressed breast milk for 6 months then switch to formula.

Pregnancy is really hard for me, I had HG with both so felt sick until the end and last thing I needed after I'd given birth was to give my self a new set of issues relating to my body and health. I just wanted my body back by that point.

Original poster
JamTartLover · 24/08/2025 23:20

BeastAngelMadwoman · 24/08/2025 11:22

Controversial opinion maybe but I don't actually think the issue is a pressure to breastfeed. I think the issue is a lack of support to breastfeed and the constant 'oh just give her a bottle' if you dare to say that you're finding it tough.

It is tough to establish and yes it's totally normal for them to feed constantly as that's how your supply increases. Personally I find the difficulties are massively outweighed by the convenience and always having the ability to hand to feed and soothe 24/7 and I also think it gets a lot easier as you go on.

That being said, if you want to formula feed then there's nothing wrong with that, as long as the desire to do so is coming from you and not outside pressures.

There's definitely the pressure of just giving a bottle as people don't understand that breast milk is digested more quickly so the baby needs feeding more often!

Thanks for your response!

OP posts:
Original poster
JamTartLover · 24/08/2025 23:21

Paaseitjes · 24/08/2025 16:39

Breast fed babies feed for both food and comfort, so she may well be nursing more for comfort, especially in the evening. It can be exhausting. Bottle fed babies get comfort from toys, dummies and cuddles which is fine too!

Edit: I found the first 3 months of breast feeding very hard. Everyone says it gets easier and they're right. Was it worth ploughing through? I'm not sure, I was way too stubborn to quit! It's certainly easier overnight and when I'm with him, but pumping for nursery and dad's day is a pain, but I'm in a country where we go back to work earlier

Edited

Im hoping to be able to get through until 3 months and see how I feel then but not going to put loads of pressure on myself to do so!

Thanks for your response!

OP posts:
Original poster
JamTartLover · 24/08/2025 23:23

Hereforthecommentz · 24/08/2025 16:45

It is completely normal for bf babies to cluster feed. I gave up with the first after 6 weeks I felt awful and regretted it. My 2nd I had all sorts of problems mastitis ect but plodded on even though it was hell. After 3 months it was much better and carried on for 2 years. It's all down to you. Both kids are fine now! Bf is obviously better because they have antibodies in but it's not the end of the world if you can't do it and it's making you miserable. I do wonder was it worth going though weeks of crying and pain but I think it was overall to feed him for that long it was easier in the night to breastfeed so there are pros and cons. Do what ever you feel is best. My kids are 7 and 13 now and you don't think ow I fed one more that the other. It's a short time in their lives. Make yourself happy and don't feel guilty like I did as its nothing to feel guilty about x

It definitely has the advantage of not having to heat up milk and sterilise bottles!

Thanks for your response!

OP posts:
Original poster
JamTartLover · 24/08/2025 23:25

Sunnyscribe · 24/08/2025 18:18

If it's really stressing you out and deep down you're not sure you want to do it, you don't have to. I tried to breastfeed my two but was difficult because they both needed a hospital stay and also had horrendously cracked nipples and just felt so stressed with it all. Im the end I did expressed breast milk for 6 months then switch to formula.

Pregnancy is really hard for me, I had HG with both so felt sick until the end and last thing I needed after I'd given birth was to give my self a new set of issues relating to my body and health. I just wanted my body back by that point.

Sorry to hear about your hospital stays, it's so hard when you aren't in a comfortable environment!

I get what you mean about wanting your body back!

Thanks for your response!

OP posts:
Wynter25 · 24/08/2025 23:28

It definitely does gets easier. Think it got easier by 12 weeks.

Breastfeeding is less of a faff imo. Currently formula feeding my third who has CMPA. Going to breastfeed when she's stronger. She had such a rough start to life.

When it comes to illness in babies. formula feeding/breastfeeding. it makes no difference to that. Every baby is different to how poorly then get. It's more genetic so don't know why people always bring that up. I hope that makes sense. I'm tired 🙈

SlicedMelon · 24/08/2025 23:34

Ghht · 24/08/2025 01:20

My baby is 9 weeks old and breastfeeding has been so difficult, but in the last few days I feel like it’s getting better.

My baby went through a cluster feeding stage between weeks 4-9 where she fed on me all day, everyday (she was just doing that every evening before). It was absolutely awful and I barely made it. For example, just to go to the toilet, I would have to feed her, run for a wee, then pick her up to feed her again because she’d be screaming by the time I got back to her. The feeding was so constant and I’m still in shock from it.

It has become better and she’ll go 1-2hrs between feeds now, and 2-3hrs at night after 1am. My supply now feels more steady and it’s like I know when my breasts need emptying, instead of always feeling drained and empty.

It’s so incredibly hard though. Sometimes my partner gave her a bottle of formula when I was overwhelmed (I should’ve pumped but I felt too exhausted). I’ve also given her a bottle of formula myself once or twice when I’ve been at my wits ends- I just wanted to do anything to make her full and give my aching body a chance. I also needed a break from anything touching my breasts. I haven’t managed to create a pumped stock of milk because up until now she’s just always been on me.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I just wanted to sympathise with how hard it is. When I was in the depths of it I couldn’t find anyone who had a similar experience of such prolonged and frequent feeding, it made me feel so alone…and it still does because I’m barely out of it myself.

My first baby was formula fed and I don’t see any harm in formula or combi feeding. You must look after yourself and your mental health, ultimately do what’s best for you because that’s what’s best for the baby too.

I really wish they explained that THIS is what it means to breastfeed! I had absolutely no idea and was completely blindsided with DD born this year.

Original poster
JamTartLover · 25/08/2025 10:45

Wynter25 · 24/08/2025 23:28

It definitely does gets easier. Think it got easier by 12 weeks.

Breastfeeding is less of a faff imo. Currently formula feeding my third who has CMPA. Going to breastfeed when she's stronger. She had such a rough start to life.

When it comes to illness in babies. formula feeding/breastfeeding. it makes no difference to that. Every baby is different to how poorly then get. It's more genetic so don't know why people always bring that up. I hope that makes sense. I'm tired 🙈

Edited

I hope your baby gets better soon! Its definitely less faff from a bottles and sterilising point of view.

If you don't mind me asking, how old is your baby and when did you want to start breastfeeding?

OP posts:
Original poster
JamTartLover · 25/08/2025 10:45

SlicedMelon · 24/08/2025 23:34

I really wish they explained that THIS is what it means to breastfeed! I had absolutely no idea and was completely blindsided with DD born this year.

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Absolutely!

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