Feeling broken. Baby dehydrated, my milk isn’t enough & boobs so sore

[Stardust127]

Evening all.

im just looking for some support really please, and some reassurance where possible, as I am so emotional right now. My baby was born Sunday evening ant 37+1, induced Labour due to gestational diabetes. All went well. I exclusively breastfed, we went home Monday pm.

Baby has become increasingly unsettled, crying lots, constantly wanting feeding, not sleeping - I have fed him for as long as he wants whenever he wants. My milk only came in Wednesday early hours. My boobs have become so sore, the other day he clamped down on one and it bled. I decided to feed off the left one and let the bad one heal up. Midwife visited and told me I either need to feed him from sore boob which will be fine, or pump from it, to stop them getting too full. I fed him from the bad boob and I was in agony, crying and bleeding.

this morning baby was vomiting blood, we called an ambulance; the hospital tested my milk and confirmed it had blood in it (even though we couldn’t see it) so he had ingested blood from that day I fed him from it. They also found that he is dehydrated. We have been given a feeding plan.

i can no longer breastfeed him because I am so, so sore and he obviously isn’t getting any of my milk through, I don’t know why because I’m easily able to express. I feel like I have failed him.

To add - we’ve put him on aptimil first milk formula and he’s not taking to it well. He’s had four bouts of very watery poo today which isn’t good considering he’s dehydrated

This sounds really hard OP. ❤️

It sounds like he is getting your milk, but if he is dehydrated then perhaps not as much as he needs. It really depends what you want to do, if you'd like to keep bf, then you might try nipple shields (theres mixed opinions on these but some women find them helpful), or lansinoh cream, or those gel nipple pad things that help with pain. it can be really sore in the beginning anyway, but generally it could indicate a suboptimal latch. are there any feeding specialists in the hospital, or an infant feeding team?

you can also express and bottle feed if you find that easier. or you can switch to formula, which feels like a big deal in the early days if you really wanted to bf, but it really isn't and it won't be something you stress over in a few months time.

Please don't think you are a failure. You're clearly doing everything you can for this baby. I hope you get the support you need.

You have not failed your baby. Breastfeeding is really, really hard and even if you'd decided to formula feed from birth it doesn't mean you have failed him.

Fed is best. You can supplement with formula while still breastfeeding - take the stress off yourself and give him a bottle, and if you want to continue to breastfeed, then do, safe in the knowledge your baby is fed, safe and loved. A lot of babies are very adaptable and can switch between breast and bottle. If you don't want to continue, that is perfectly fine as well. Im sure it feels awful to be in so much discomfort and dealing with these feelings right now - but your baby is a few days old, you're right in the thick of it and in a few years all this will be a distant memory. So do what you need to do to get through it.

If you are happy to express and want to do that rather than formula as well, then there's no reason why you shouldn't do that? Then if you want, you can try and transition him back onto the breast when you're more comfortable. Again, if you don't want to - don't. It's your body.

Sorry you’re having a difficult time. This happened to me too - I think because I had a forceps delivery my baby had a sore jaw idk or they said maybe just little, but my nipples were raw and I was in so much pain.

I don’t know if this helps but I just rested my really sore boob and pumped for a day, tried again, rested again. Until it all felt a bit less agony!! In the end we got back to breastfeeding only from about six weeks with no pain and all fine. Before that it was such a mish mash of formula, expressed milk, bit of from the boob.

i really sympathise though I felt totally bewildered by the pain of it, even though I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I hope things get easier soon x

We got readmitted on day 5 as our little girl lost too much weight so we BF/expressed and formula fed we called it our combi feeding mash up and she thrived!

Do what you can when you can…… I know it feels like a nightmare right now feeling all the guilt and seeing people exclusively breastfeeding easily makes you mad I’ve been there but in a few weeks you’ll feel better!

I know I did 100% what I needed to for our baby and that’s all that counts!!

Sending hugs and nipple cream

Similar happened to me with DC1, I think her jaw was bruised from the forceps, and her mouth was so little. We did a mixture of expressed milk, formula, and attempting breastfeeds once or twice a day, until she got her tongue tie released at 3 weeks. After my nipples healed we tried breast feeding more often, and by 12 weeks she was mainly breastfed (still did a bottle of formula every day or other day so DH could feed her while I slept).
This doesn’t have to be the end of breastfeeding if you don’t want it to be.

You are being very hard on yourself. Everyone's learning. You're learning to breastfeed and baby is learning to eat. It's not an easy time.

If you want to keep breastfeeding keep pumping every 2 hours day and night. Nights are high production times. Have lots and lots of skin to skin time. Get that nipple cream on and buy nipple shields.Ask the HV to come to help with feeding.

If you've had enough, no judgement, then that's fine as well. As long as your baby is fed and loved they will be happy. My kids hated Aptimal. They were so much happy on Aldi formula. They stage 1 formula is highly regulated so it has everything that baby needs. Also no need to swap stages in the future. Baby milk can't be advertised they get round thing by advertising infant formula.

Out of hg pregnancy, induced labour with forceps and episiotomy and exhaustion, I can say I found bf the hardest of them all. Dd had small mouth, choking constantly due to a heavy let down which started days after managing engorged boobs where I had mastitis and add a tongue tie to the mix, it was hell. You're not a failure. We did first formula until milk came in and then combi feed until I managed the engorgement and latching issue, used manual pump for the engorged boobs so dd could latch on and not choke with the heavy let down. It took days. I still have a crazy boob that sprays like a shower head but we took each feed at a time. We are now 12 weeks exclusively bf.

Tackle each problem at a time. Use manual pump as you don't want to overstimulate. Use the non sore boob to feed and manual pump the sore one until it heals. Each day will be better, onwards and upwards.

Hi OP,
I know how devastating it can be to be told that your baby is dehydrated and not getting enough milk from you. My baby was readmitted to hospital five days after birth due to loosing too much weight. When we were admitted to hospital my baby was given a blood test and was confirmed to also be dehydrated and to have low sugar levels. I was absolutely devastated when the doctor instructed us to start supplementing with formula. At the time I thought formula meant failure but I know now that was the hormones talking and it absolutely does not mean failure. I was put on a schedule of breast feed on demand ( as I had been doing), then pump, then give formula every three hours. I kept going with this for two weeks but I became delirious with exhaustion and my baby still would not gain the weight he needed to. In the end I switched to formula, baby gained weight and I got some rest as DH and I could split the feeds. Do what is best for you and your family.

I could only bf using nipple shields initially, I also had the same issue with baby swallow blood and throwing up. Honestly the shields can really help if you can get someone to pick some up for you. Sending a big hug.

This was me. You have not failed. The one thing that saves me

NIPPLE SHIELDS.

Oh love, it's so tough. Can you find a local IBCLC to visit you? They are the absolute experts on breastfeeding, and chances are they will be able to help you get feeding established. It sounds to me like baby may have a tongue tie (they're very often missed), but an IBCLC can advise you on this. I had a similarly rough start but went on to feed for a very long time.

1. You have not failed, you have just had a baby and doing everything you can.

1. Baby is not harmed by your blood - it's just extra iron.

1. Nipple shields! The avent ones were good for me. Get 2 pairs and a tub to keep them in. Sterilise by scalding with just boiled water or dilute Milton.

1. Lansinoh.
2. Multi mam compresses
3. Jelonet dressing for moist wound healing - cut into little squares.

1. You could express from the bad side and give in a bottle. Nipple refusal was never an issue for my 3.

Nipple shields and an IBCLC. Saved me. Good luck. You don't have to give up if you don't want to you can switch back to breastfed with help.

Do mixed feeding and do not give it another thought OP. I did, they all grew up tall and strong….

This is normal I'm afraid. If you want to bf you absolutely can
Me and my first were readmitted due to weight loss, jaundice and we just couldn't get a latch. Initially I pumped what I could (10ml! Which took 2 hours) and I topped up 50ml formula.
Followed that plan when we were discharged but I kept on pumping and trying him on the breast every feed and we eventually got there. The first two weeks are HELL. Week 3 is better, week 4 you got it but it's tricky. Week 8 is good.

My numbering has gone weird 😂
Last tip is a dummy when you need a break.

Remember, millions of babies are formula fed and nobody can tell the difference when they grow up!

You haven't failed. I didn't start breastfeeding until my baby was almost 12 weeks. Ask to see the local Trust lactation consultant or pay for an IBCLC yourself, contact your local breastfeeding support group or NCT feeding group etc. With my second they came out to see me several times a week until feeding was on track. You're journey is just beginning! Midwives, Health Visitors and paeds have almost no training in breastfeeding and don't have to update knowledge of bf even if they trained 30 years ago.

If there is damage to the nipple and poor transfer it's likely that the latch isn't right. Could be something like tongue tie or could just be corrected with positioning and a deeper latch.

Your options depend on whether you want to carry on or not really? If you do then a shield might be good on the sore boob until you get the root cause sorted. Is there anywhere you can get support locally like a drop in breastfeeding group or a home visit?

The NCT have a national helpline.

This is a good video which talks about latching. There are many others about positioning too.

Agree about investigating tongue tie. Unfortunately lots of NHS staff don’t know how to check properly (but plenty think they do…).

Can you afford to book a lactation consultant? If not, try your local breastfeeding cafe/drop in group, if there is one.

In the meantime, as you can express easily, do that and bottle feed - give your poor boobs a rest. Easier on your baby’s tummy than formula and keeps your milk supply up. Or mix feed.

The fact you have plenty of milk says it’s definitely a latch problem rather than a supply problem.

Good luck. Nobody should make themselves miserable over breastfeeding and fed is best, but it does seem like this could be solveable if you can manage to get the right help.

Ah op you are not in any way a failure - breastfeeding is HARD and there isn't enough support in this country for mums who want to try it.

Couple of things popping to my mind are if your baby might have a tongue tie that's making it harder for them to get milk out? If you're in pain that could be affecting latch too so if it were me I'd get to a bf support group in person so they can check your latch and give hands on support if needed. Plus just lots of other mums who know exactly how though the start is and have maybe experienced the same thing. I had lots of trouble with bf ds (tongue tie issues) and the infant feeding coordinators we saw seemed helpful at the time but honestly the best support I got was from my la leche league group. I'm 17 mths in now and still learn loads from the other mums in that group as well as the leaders so it's really worth finding a good one near you.

It really depends on if you want to continue with pumping or if you want to work at get baby relatched, combi feed or wean onto formula. Whatever your goal here is it is valid and you can never be a failure for responding to your child's needs which is exactly what you have been doing.

Also just to say sometimes stress can affect let down and if you're feeling very anxious about your baby being able to get enough milk or if it's very sore etc that can all slow letdown. So in that case (if you want to continue) I'd try and spend some time skin to skin snuggled on the sofa or in bed or under a dressing gown, shut the door on all visitors to keep the pressure off yourself and just let baby latch on and off as they want. They're very much still learning how to feed at this point as well. If you do use bottles it's important to paced feed so they aren't getting used to a fast and easy flow or they may struggle to work out that they need to work harder at the breast to get milk out. There's some really good videos about paced feeding online.

Silver cups are a lifesaver for hurt nipples and I used coco mama nipple balm when I blistered really badly (don't use them together though - one or the other).

Ultimately this is about your right as a mum to feed your child whatever way works best for you and your family. You don't need to justify that to anyone.

How is it normal? Bits of it might be common, but it’s not normal!

You’ve had a really, really rough time of it OP. I’m sorry, it’s so tough when you have issues feeding. DD wasn’t readmitted, but we were put on a feeding plan that involved supplementing with formula due to unsatisfactory weight gain. We never managed to EBF, but actually the one bottle a day of formula/expressed milk that she ended up having worked fine for us and I breastfed her until she was almost 18 months in the end. If you’d like to continue to attempt breastfeeding then I would definitely book an appointment with a lactation consultant ASAP, if you can afford it. She will be able to support you with combi-feeding and advise about nipple shields etc.

Whatever your decision I hope things get easier for you, and congratulations on your new baby 💐

BTW just to say we ended up going private to get ds tongue tie cut because the NHS professionals who looked at it felt it wasn't bad enough to be an issue. Then when ds started losing lots of weight they refused to see him. So we got it cut by a dentist and that did wonders for his weight. So it's worth getting a second opinion privately if you feel things just still aren't right.