Trying to breastfeed a newborn with a small mouth... please tell me it gets easier.

[mummabubs]

I'm finding myself getting so upset over our feeding situation and just looking for anyone who's been in a similar position and can maybe offer hope/support?

DS is 6 weeks old. He was a forceps delivery so wouldn't latch in hospital and was cup fed expressed milk for the first week. After that we started breastfeeding but very quickly my nipples became bright red and started cracking. I had mastitis when he was 3 weeks old which didn't help. After attending breastfeeding clinic and getting health visitor involved we discovered that DS has a small mouth so doesn't often open wide enough to get a good latch and just slides straight down onto the nipple. (We tried using shields under guidance to see if they helped but be just does the same with them on so we're not using them). I also have 'flat-ish' nips, not completely flat but not as prominent as the average nipple which hasn't helped either.

I was advised to try and feed when possible but use expressed milk or formula to top up when necessary. My nipples have never healed since day one so are always pink and get sore very easily after a feed. (I use cream, try to avoid wearing bras and air then as much as possible but doesn't seem to make a difference so far). We tried just using expressed milk for a few days to give them a break but within a day of going back to feeding on me they were in the same state again.

I just feel utterly miserable and torn about it all. My husband was exclusively formula fed so sees no issue with it and doesn't want to see me in pain anymore, my mum EBF all three of us so is naturally keen for me to keep going. I feel pressure to stop from one side and to persist from the other, although neither of them are actually pushy about it. I'm sick of spending all my time either expressing and praying I get enough for another feed from it, trying to breastfeed but feeling anxious beforehand and then in pain afterwards, bottle feeding and praying he's not hungry for more at the end of it, or giving formula and feeling crap as I do so. DS is gaining weight well and seems content but he is going through a growth spurt and I'm now struggling to keep up with his hunger by expressing alone so am not sure how sustainable this is long term. It feels like he is getting better at opening his mouth wider sometimes but will also open slip down onto nipple or breaks the latch (so this also irritates my nipples as he's constantly on/off).

If anyone else had a newborn with a small mouth and managed to keep breastfeeding please tell me this is do-able and when it became so. I really, really don't want to switch but it's causing me so much stress and upset that without hope that it might have improve I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. :'( Thanks for reading.

Hi OP. I could literally have written your opening post 4 months ago. DS had (still has) a tiny mouth and I've got barely there nipples. Our first week at home was awful, he was hungry and cried nearly all the time. I went to various clinics, bf support groups and lactation consultants and in the end decided to express and feed by bottle, topping up with formula when needed.

I know you want to continue with bfing and I despite it not working out for me, I am an absolute advocate of bfing and will give it my best shot if I have another baby. However, with DS it wasn't right for us and I am 100% happy with the way I have fed him. I felt quite a lot of pressure from others to keep bfing and without this pressure I think I'd have taken an alternative route a lot sooner.

DS is thriving, I am happy and loving motherhood despite 4 month bloody sleep regression. Of course this is absolutely achievable if you continue to bf, but I just wanted to put my experience forward if, like me, you are inclined to bottle feed but are nervous about giving up bfing.

Good luck

I feel your pain! It sounds very similar to my experience with DS1. As others have mentioned, it could be worth getting checked for tongue tie (it’s worth trying to find a lactation consultant in your area as midwives/health visitors/GPs aren’t always the best at picking up the less obvious cases. We also had a few sessions of cranial osteopathy which helped to relax DS1’s tight jaw and helped him to get a wider latch. And exaggerated latch technique (or “the flipple”) also helped.

I feel for you, mine also had a small mouth and was quite frankly shit at feeding. Nipple shields saved us, sorry to hear they haven't worked for you.
Other than that it just took time and now he's a champion feeder, way less fussy and wriggly than most other babies, latches on with no help and feeds quickly and efficiently.
Really hope you see some improvement soon.

Wow, I didn't expect so many replies!

Thank you all so much, I've had a good cry reading them all. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and it has given me such a boost to hear that for many of you things did get easier with time. I really, really hope that this happens for us too. And for those who chose not to continue breastfeeding thank you for sharing your experiences too, it helps me think that if I end up going down the same road that I might not feel as awful about it as I currently envisage I would.

Just to reply to a couple of thoughts- DS was checked for tongue tie by a lactation consultant and my health visitor on different dates and neither feel he has one. I am now wondering whether I should ask HV to check us for thrush. I don't feel either of us show symptoms (other than pink nips and DS not maintaining latches maybe) but I do know that it's more common after antibiotics, which I was on for a week with the mastitis. Having said that though they've been pink and sore since about day 3 so unless it was a very early case of thrush I'm not so sure? Can you get access to cranial osteopaths on the NHS? Money is quite tight right now (and that's not even thinking about Christmas for which I have done sod all prep!), so I think I'd want to feel really confident that it would make a difference if we had to pay to see one.

I've got my health visitor coming on Wednesday but I might give her a text tomorrow and ask for an earlier visit and to discuss a plan moving forward.

Glad it's helped, things are always worse when it's nighttime and you are alone. You can look for a upper lip tie yourself very easily. I was worried about tongue tie and he was checked and nope al fine but it was only after someone on here mentioned upper lip tie that I had a look and bingo.

Op- my ds was like this but it turned out he had a tongue tie . Midwives can't usually check for this - my midwives all said he didn't have one . I had it shipped privately which cost us £150 but it was money well spent as he latched on so much better as soon as he had the tie snipped .

Midwives can't check for a tongue tie . I had 4 tell me he didn't have one . Only a lactation consultant who specialises in tongue tie can tell you . Honestly I would pursue this .

Here you go

@moonmaker one of the professionals who's checked and told me he hasn't is a lactation consultant who specialises in tongue tie. 😊 Apparently the problem is that he has a small mouth so can't easily latch on and often slips down onto the nipple. We have had a couple of good feeds when my nipple is drawn out by a pump and as he's got older he is a bit better at opening wide, just not wide enough to be consistently good at it.

Hello, just wanted to tell you my experience with a baby with a small mouth. I found feeding pretty agonising at first. I went to a breastfeeding clinic and the MW recommended cranial osteopathy. (Baby had no tongue tie). We found a practitioner who specialises in babies and children and had 4 sessions. I could see a difference, she could open her mouth a lot wider. It wasn't cheap - about £40 per session - but I feel it was worth it.

@Creatureofthenight thanks for sharing. Did you find your little one maintained latches better afterwards too? My DS can open him mouth quite wide now but won't maintain a latch any longer than 5 seconds or so. 🙁 I'm considering looking into seeing a cranial osteopath.

Things are still as they were when I started this post. I went to the clinic again yesterday and they confidently told me he doesn't have a small mouth or tongue, I don't have flat nipples and that they honestly don't know why he isn't maintaining latches. They advised me to go and buy bigger nipple shields, which I did but feeding is still agony- if anything it was more painful with the shields on, but then DS did maintain latches for longer so that might be a way forward perhaps. ?? Still feeling lost and stuck with it and getting very emotional but not ready to switch just yet.

Oh OP! I'm so sorry to hear this I'm in a similar boat- but I'm only in pain on one side now which I'm looking at as a 50% improvement!! I'm not sure if I saw any improvement after seeing the osteopath. Did you have a foreceps or vontuesse birth? This is more likely to result in your DS not being able to open his mouth wide enough. Did lactation expert say anything about milk flow? Have you been bottle feeding, could it be bottle preference? You're doing so well to carry on!!!!

Have you been swabbed for thrush yet? Not maintaining a latch might be a sign that little one's mouth is sore. If you're in pain throughout the feed then that would indicate thrush - with a poor latch it's usually just sore to begin with then better throughout the feed. Hope you get it resolved soon.

Hello
Sorry I didn't see your reply til now. Yes I found she did maintain a better latch. And honestly as she got bigger it has improved further. I also saw a great lactation consultant who helped me with positioning - could you get to a different breastfeeding clinic and see if you get different advice?

Thanks all again for your replies- I did ask again about thrush and they wouldn't swab me as neither me or bubba are showing any signs...

However... I went to an LLL meeting last week and whilst I found it a bit overwhelming to begin with they were so friendly and supportive and sat with me for over an hour to observe a feed. They gave me lots of advice and tweaks to make and set up a plan where I try him on me for 5 mins every feed and then give him a bottle of expressed milk. We also saw a cranial osteopath at the weekend and am seeing them again on Friday. It's very small steps but yesterday he achieved 2 minutes of good and pain free latching on one side and then this morning we had nearly 15 minutes of completely pain free feeding on the other for the first time since he was born. It's small steps but it's given me so much hope that we might just crack this one day. 😭

Yay! LLL are really nice. Glad you're making some progress. It really does get better. I used to be in tears feeding my LO and dreaded latching her on - now she's nearly 6 months and I don't think twice about it.