Bf and DS going down percentiles but seems healthy

[Sciencegeekmum]

Hi,

I'm a new mum to a 9w old son. I would like to exclusively breastfeed but my DS has been falling down the percentiles since birth. We've been through a number of issues which I'll summarise below but essentially I think my son is now healthy and want to stop my hv coming round to weigh him every week as it's stressing me out!

Firstly DS had pneumonia when he was born and put on antibiotics for a week. I had a 3rd degree tear and a retained placenta which was removed in surgery. DS didn't even latch on for the first 3 days and combined with trauma to my body, I had no colostrum to even express to give DS. So the doctors put him on formula and I'm sure this was the start of my body playing 'catch up' with milk supply which continues now.

I persevered with bfing and pumping. DS had a tongue tie which was snipped at 6 days old. He lost about 10% of his weight so they wouldn't allow us to leave hospital until we showed them we could supplement with formula and his weight increased overnight.

Since then he's dropped through the percentiles, from 91st to 25th. Then he began to gain weight and follow the 25th. Then last week I haemorrhaged (for the second time since birth) and had to have surgery to remove the pieces of placenta that were still in me (despite having had surgery before for this). Also as bf still hurts, went to tongue tie clinic and found DS still had 75% tie! This was snipped on Monday. On Tuesday he was weighed again and although gained weight, he's now on the 9th percentile.

We are now only supplementing 60ml a day and I feel instinctively that DS is healthy and gaining weight; he's producing loads of wee and poos every 2-3 days. But I'm still on hv's books and she's coming to weigh him again next week. I really get worked up about these visits and just want them to stop but I'm no good at confrontation. I just think if we were left alone I would stop worrying so much! Is it possible to prevent these weigh ins? As you can see from the story there's plenty of reasons why his weight gain has been slow to begin with but I now feel as though we should be left alone to get on with life! But I'm frightened I'm on a list of 'at risk' families due to slow weight gain and that I will continue to be pestered!

Btw my hv is lovely, I'm just no good at confronting those in authority! Sorry it's been a long post but I've even missed out on some details, I've been through a lot! Any advice?

so sorry to read this thread

personaly if i were you i would opt for baby on your boob, rather than giving top ups that you dont want to.

YOUR baby, YOU know him best, and if your mummy instinct says its best for your baby, then go with it

good luck..... (you can always try it for a few days / a week / whatever and review it later)

If it were me (and it's easy to say..) I would top up for the purpose of 'sufficient' weight gain to get HV off your back, and then focus on ebf under less pressure than u are under now.

I hate how they are so bloody obsessed with weight! I mean your baby IS actually on the scale of within normal limits, and some babies have to be at the top end and also the bottom end too

Good luck with what u decide x

Hi sciencegeek,
I just wanted to thank you for posting this thread. I'm having problems with DD's slow weight gain. She's 6 weeks, EBF and has fallen from under 25th percentile to under 2nd. I've been really worrying about it, even though she is otherwise doing well, and agonising whether to introduce some formula, especially as I don't seem to manage to express much for supplements. Anyway, it's been good to see the responses you've had and I just wanted to wish you the best with things. Hope the weight picks up soon and you can relax!

Ferino,

The more I read from actual parents, the more I realise that this seems to be a common problem. It's quite disconcerting how utterly helpless I feel when in front of the medical professionals, yet when I have time to collect my thoughts, I realise that I am doing the right thing and my DS is doing fine. Some babies are just slower to gain weight than others for no discernible reason (apart from the 'well we're all different' mantra). Unfortunately there is a lot of pressure on the hvs to be seen to be doing the right thing. Best wishes for you and yours and I hope things get better for you - please keep us updated on your progress.

And thanks penguin, nanny, tiktok and mampig for your support and advice. We've decided to continue topping up with ebm but to pump a little more to ensure a larger top up. I will keep you updated with news.

It defies belief how awful I feel when the health profession question my judgement on my own DS - it has completely shattered my confidence. Which is stupid because as a highly educated and successful person I should know better than to question my instincts and be trusted more by the health profession!

Just an update for anyone that's interested.

Hv came round today. DS has gained just two ounces over two weeks which is a disappointment. However she agreed with me that he looks and acts healthy. He is 12w today and sleeps well (overnight and day naps), eats well, is active when awake and smiles beautifully.

I took control of the meeting more and said that I'd be happy to take him to the docs for a check up but that I think there's nothing wrong with him. She seemed happy with this. Also next weighing will be done after a post natal meeting in two weeks' time instead of her coming over.

So my questions are: is one ounce a week enough? What can I do to increase DS's weight without giving more formula? (I already feed on demand, every 1.5-2hrs during the day, DS comes off by himself). Do I have to do anything at all?

Thanks in advance for any advice!

Good to get an update, science :)

You ask 'is one oz a week enough'? Enough for what? It's clear it's not enough to make him look good on paper :) But he's a real baby not a paper one!

It's enough to keep him healthy and active and happy. You have had some good reassurance from the HV and she is happy with the arrangement you have agreed to...time to relax and accept the way things are I wonder? :)

Dear SCIENcEGEEK I really feel for you, you have been through so much you poor thing. First of all I must tell you about what my mum said to me a couple of weeks ago when my DS had fallen from the 9 th to just below the 2nd centile. She said, in her day they didn't have all these charts and HVs and we turned out just fine. My brother apparently only put on a couple of pounds between age 9 months and 1 year, today he would have been taken into care probably.
If you can't pluck up courage to front up the HV about reducing her visits just say you are going on holiday for 3 weeks, stay with a relative etc....that's just a back up plan suggestion. But if not, just have the courage to say NO that it's stressing you out and to only come every 2 weeks.
I am feeding as well as I can, I am making sure he gets hind milk and I am making sure he gets enough feeds.
One thing I have done which is a really random tip, is start having porridge every day for breakfast, it seems to have really worked and my milk supply has increased and ds is getting heavier ( I can feel it ) I got that idea of someone on another website and it has made a difference,like I said it's a bit random, but I am at the stage of trying everything......

Good luck with it all, I do feel for you and I hope YOU feel better and that someone is looking after you.
Big hug

If you look at the thread I started on breastfeeding someone gave me a link to kellymom which says that average weight gain for breast fed babies should be between 5-7 ounces a week I think, it's certainly less than the NHS guidelines and also your baby sounds like mine, tall DAD who is slim, I am short and slim. My Ds was putting on an ounce a day in the first 8 weeks but after thAt I don't know, it's not that much though.
If your baby looks well, acts okay, seems happy, he more than likely is.

Tiktok thanks for reassuring me. I think when I go to the docs I'll just say that I think he's healthy, but just give him the once over to confirm. I'm happy with his development

Inlove, looks like I'll be eating porridge tomorrow...

My mum looked into when she weighed me when I was little: 3w, 7w, 2m and 6m - so not that much at all! And I turned out a heffer!

Ha ha re heffer SCIENcEGEEK. See what I mean though, we have all these charts, and we can see our babies are healthy but the HVs focus on us worrying mums. Shame they don't actually do something for poor babies like baby P who really needed their attention.
You're doing everything correct, you sound like a great mum and you would act if you needed too.
Swear by the porridge though, oh and I have squeeze golden syrup on it!
Delicious !

The golden syrup won't do much for my heffer status... Oh well, the sacrifices we mums make...

On another note, breastfeeding has not hurt at all for the last three days, so hopefully we're on the up even if DS is on the slim side!

Keep going....that's all we can do. Let me know if the porridge helps I am really curious if it does for you too.

I used to have a bowl of porridge every morning when I was exclusively pumping for ds1, I'm sure it helped my supply. Kellymom advises it too.

Good luck sciencegeek, sounds like you're doing really well.

An update.

Been eating porridge for brekkie every day, not sure if it's helping but I like the stuff anyway!

We are waiting for a paediatrician referral to come through. GP checked DS last week and agreed he looked fine but wants to rule out any food intolerances. The appointment probably won't be before Xmas now though. Also found out I was still slightly anaemic, and had it confirmed that the tissue removed from me at 8 weeks was placental.

Weighed DS today at post natal group. He's put on 3 oz over the last 2 weeks, an improvement although still 'dropping' further into the gap between the second and .4 centile. I'm now more frustrated than concerned! Still he looks healthy and happy and I'm sure that if we hadn't been monitoring his weight, I probably wouldn't have thought there was anything wrong with him!

Thanks again for the support on this thread, you are all lovely people

sciencegeekmum I completely sympathise. You've done amazingly well to have made it this far and to stick to your guns. My DD has plumetted from the 91st and at 4.5 months is almost falling off the chart! Two weeks ago, after she lost some weight, I was bullied by a practice nurse and my mum to top up her feeds. Although I am still BFing, she's taking most from the bottle. But in 2 weeks this had made little difference to her weight. I think maybe she's just supposed to be thin as she's very happy, alert and hit every milestone. Sad thing is that we're so vulnerable in these first few months of motherhood that one upsetting conversation with our mums or health professionals can push us into doing things we later regret.

This takes me back. Similar thing happened to me and my ds and I remember the anguish well. Ds is now HUGE, all muscle and sinew and very little fat. He has bigger feet than me (he's only 10) and is a forward in his rugby team and takes great delight in flattening the opposition
I would say, listen to the advice, consider it carefully but don't forget to trust your instincts.

SGM - so for 8 weeks you were struggling because you had some retained placenta?

That would account for supply difficulties in the early weeks, for sure....among all the other stuff. As I said weeks ago, there are sound reasons why your early experience with supply/weight gain was as it was. But 8 weeks is a long time :(

Having said that, babies who look fine and act fine are usually very fine :)

Tiktok - yes, I had retained placenta pieces for 8 weeks post birth despite having had a manual removal of placenta immediately after birth. They missed some bits! This was causing bleeding and on three occasions haemorrhaging with clots, which were the times I went to A&E, leading to another surgery (ERPC).

It has been suggested by my hv and others that this could have affected my milk supply and even now, at 14 weeks, my body could still be struggling to catch up.

However as I've said, DS is generally a content baby hitting milestones and weeing and pooping fine. He likes to listen to me making silly sounds and has started laughing. He never fusses at the breast and detaches himself after about ten minutes (although I always attempt to latch him back on just in case!).

Thanks Emilyarm and the best, it's good to know I'm not alone in this! Still am happy to go to the paediatrician to just get a check, just in case.