October book of the month: Mother by Hannah Begbie - read and join the discussion and author webchat MONDAY 29 October at 9pm

[RachelMumsnet]

Our October book of the month is Hannah Beebie’s debut novel Mother.

Cath has just 25 days of 'normality' with her newborn baby, before her daughter is diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. As her relationship with her husband cracks under the pressure, Cath joins a CF parental support group. It's here that she meets Richard, whose daughter also has CF.

Hannah Begbie’s novel was inspired by her own experience; her son was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when he was five weeks old. Through the novel she explores how parents respond when their worst fears are imagined and the expectations and judgements of those around them.

Find out what the MN book bloggers thought about the novel and read or listen to an extract. Buy a copy or download the ebook for 99p and read with us this month ahead of the author webchat on 29th October at 9pm.

@WrongSideOfHistory

I enjoyed this book - as a parent of a child with additional health needs I can completely understand the searching for answers & reassurance, the need to be almost obsessed with routine & schedules to maintain health etc.

My questions (in advance of the session on Monday) are:

• do you think it's almost inevitable that relationships will be under huge strain (& in some cases breakdown completely) in these situations? What do you think could be done to prevent this?

• I was really shocked when Cath assaulted Rachel instead of wrestling Mia from her/calling the police. Why did you feel that she'd respond this way?

• I found it hard to have any sympathy for Richard - he seemed very manipulative and a liar. Did he have any redeeming qualities to you?

Thanks for your questions WrongSideOfHistory. I’m not sure it’s inevitable that all relationships will come under strain… it’s almost impossible to give a blanket answer to this because I think it entirely depends on how you are as a couple. It’s hard to know how you’ll cope with profound stress as a couple until you go through it… obviously something I explore in the book. Difficult times can reveal different things about individuals as they cope with hard things in different ways. Communication, I think, helps – it’s not the answer to everything but without it how are you supposed to help the other person? Communicating can also mean that you discover thoughts and feelings in common which in turn makes you feel less isolated and less alone in a difficult circumstance. Cath and Dave’s problem as a couple was that they could not communicate. It was like their responses to the diagnosis sent them into different corners and by the time they turned around to look at each other they were speaking different languages.

I don’t want to give too much away about those end scenes but Cath ended up being physically violent because it was really the only way she could save her child. For me, it touched on that question: what would you do to save the life of your child? Would you kill a person that threatened his/her life? Given that part of Cath’s story was about how her delusions plunged Mia into some really dangerous circumstances I felt like this violent act of saving her was a redemption of sorts, a proclamation that she would do anything for her child.

Yes, Richard. He behaves badly but for me it’s not about redeeming qualities. It’s about looking at how people deal with stress and why they deal with things in that way. His approach wasn’t ideal, of course it wasn’t, but the man was in excruciating pain. Looking for a break. Looking for some light amidst years of dark struggle. So he didn’t behave well. People don’t behave well all the time and it’s not because they’re mindlessly being childish or caddish (in most cases). It’s because they are in agony, desperate for relief and they just don’t know how to get it. I never set out to write likeable characters. I set out to write characters full of fault lines and frailties, all things that are more visible under stress.

@FernieB

I did enjoy this book and read it quite quickly as it moves at a fast pace and the author really gets on with the narrative. As other posters have said , I also found Cath to be irritating. I could sympathise with her situation but found her reaction to be abhorrent. She was very naive in falling for Richard's patter and selfish in her pursuit of him which she seemed to prioritise over everything else in her life.

I did like the other characters and would have liked to know more about her husband and perhaps hear from him - he seemed altogether more practical and accepting of the situation. Caths mother and sister were also great. The family lunch scene was interesting as Cath behaved very much like a sullen child when around her mother. It seems that she idolised her father to such an extent that she had no interest in the rest of her family.

I'd like to know which character (other than Cath) did the author enjoy writing about most and why?

Thanks FernieB. I enjoyed writing all the characters, particularly through Cath’s eyes because I could really explore how warped a view a person can have when they are suffering. I loved writing Caroline: to me, she was like a secret card that I revealed quietly and who revealed herself quietly to Cath, like a litmus test of Cath’s increasing self awareness. She is the ultimate big sister. She’s the least judgemental, most understanding and calls her younger sister on her behaviour at exactly the right moment.

I loved the book and found it a read that I didn't want to put down. I echo a lot of the sentiments about Richard and was not surprised as to how he ended up.You have a child with C.F. yourself so how much, if any, is autobiographical? Or was it simply that you used your own experiences in writing this?

@MakemineaGandT

I found this an uncomfortable read. Obviously I really felt for Cath and Dave and the difficult circumstances in which they find themselves, but I didn’t warm to Cath at all. Whilst I understand why she behaved irrationally at times, I found her a bit petulant- for example the smashing up of the medicines, and later throwing a vase against a wall. I found Richard weasely and selfish from the start and couldn’t understand why Cath couldn’t see through him.

The one bit of relief cane from the relationship between Cath and her sister Caroline. Despite their very different personalities and the issues arising from their own upbringing, they had a close supportive bond. My question for Hannah is whether she drew on her relationship with her own real life sister in writing?

Thank you MakemineaGandT and I'm sorry you found it an uncomfortable read: when I read this I always wonder, is that a good or a bad thing?

I didn't view those scenes as petulant. I thought they were just the expression of frustrated, painful, angry energy, a way of saying 'get all this away from me.' Cath doesn't have the tools to explain things rationally and calmly.

But in answer to your question: No I didn’t draw on my sister. I didn’t transpose any relationships directly onto the page. All those characters were created with Cath’s DNA, with the same DNA that her family shares. Part of the story was about looking at the identities we form in families and how those can be hard to escape. By the time her Dad dies, Cath feels the bond between her sister and mother is too strong to be a part of. ‘she feels’ is a key bit of that… so often what cath feels isn't necessarily the reality.

@elbowz

I devoured this book too a great read. I also loved the (no-spoiler) way that things ended up. How many different endings did you play with or did you always know that's what you wanted to happen?

Thanks elbowz! Yes, I had that ending in mind though my brilliant editor cracked it into shape. That ending was all about her facing things down… I knew it was going to happen that way really early on in the development process so I built the entire narrative towards it. That image gave me all I needed to know about my story: it was always going to be a coming-to-terms tale.

Love the book. Have you had any feedback on it from other parents of kids born with medical conditions? Do people relate, or at least recognise the stresses and strains you depict?

Will your next book mine such personal terrain? Or will you go another way entirely?

Hi Hannah
What a great storyline, not what I expected and it was refreshing to read quite a dark take on the issue. I’ve never forgotten a school talk 30 years ago where the parent of a child with CF spoke about their daily routine and how harrowing they found it.

I found that I found Cath irritating for the first couple of chapters but was then completely won over; I can completely sympathise with how she reacted to the stresses in her life and her wish just to run away from it all and pretend that her life could be “normal” by making decisions that, in hindsight, were completely irrational but at the time, the consequences were just not thought through and how she just needed to be herself with no additional demands upon her. She felt that Richard offered her a lifeline as he was further down the journey than her and I found Dave’s character quite believable in his detachment to Cath’s emotions.

Congratulations on the film rights being sold; do you think Mother could lend itself to a sequel a few years later in Cath’s life?

Thanks for answering my question Hannah.

Like some other readers I found the ending inevitable but from the back story you gave in the book, I felt the marriage was doomed long before Mia's diagnosis and the extra stress this brought. Dave seemed to have a very close bond with Mia (more so than Cath). Did you consider a custody battle?

Thanks for answering my question Hannah - I guess by “uncomfortable” I mean that I wanted to like Cath but I mostly just found her frustrating. I did feel huge sympathy for her and her pain - at her own failings as well as because of Mia’s CF - but I found her self-sabotage infuriating at times.

I did enjoy the book and the personality flaws in the characters made them believable/human. I’ll look forward to your next book

@WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo

I won this in last month's book chat, so thank you :)

I found it very compelling and didn't want to put it down. I also found Cath's behaviour absolutely infuriating most of the time. Do you feel she has any redeeming qualities? Do you empathise with her because of your shared experience? And do you know anyone who actually reacted in such an extreme way, either an affair or something else as life-altering? (Sorry, I know that's three questions so feel free to pick just one )

Also I would've liked to hear a bit more about Cath's childhood and her relationship with her father, and why that had affected the whole family so much. It sounds like she was always extremely self-absorbed, rather than that being a reaction to the diagnosis (in which case I would've felt more sympathetic).

Richard is a total slimeball. I wondered if he was just at the first meeting to prey on vulnerable women.

Anyway, thank you for such a good book. I could ask lots more questions so it's definitely thought-provoking. I hope that your son is doing well

Thank you WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo and may I say how brilliant that user name is. I love Parks and Rec.

Well, redeeming qualities. Yes, I absolutely do think Cath has redeeming qualities. She gets her head around her daughter's day to day to care quickly and is a committed mother for turning up every time she needs to.... she is a good mother, though you may not always think it of her. She is brave for diving into the charitable world of advocacy... she simultaneously shies away from the truth of her situation and looks it in the face at talks and conferences. She tries. She loves her daughter. She is trying to navigate a horrible situation in the only way she knows how. She tries. She messes up. She's selfish sometimes. But she's also human.

I read it, and loved it, but NOT an easy read!

John

@bettyskitchen

I also loved this book - I agree with MakemineaGandT that is was an uncomfortable read but think this is a testament to great writing :)

What's up next for you Hannah?

thanks bettyskitchen. I'm so glad you enjoyed. I'm writing another novel with a female character at its heart again.... The story puts her at the heart of a very difficult decision and looks at what we owe other people.

@Belo

I'll be travelling this evening and I don't know if I'll be able to make the web chat or not. I would very much like to as I would very much like to hear about the motivation behind the mother character. As mentioned already by other posters, I found her highly irritating. I wanted to give her a good shake! That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the book. It was a gripping read and made me appreciate how hard life is for a mother of a CF child.

Thanks Belo, I think the motivation is outlined in some of the previous questions really - about Cath being desperate for reassurance in her pain and being unable to find it in friends and family. She finds what she needs in Richard. For a time, at least. Her motivation is escape, distraction from pain.

Hello Hannah,
Firstly, congratulations on a truly excellent book. Gripping, emotional and the source of much heated discussion amongst my friends!
I found it a desperate read. I felt desperate for Cath... I really wanted to sympathise with her but felt so annoyed with her that she was falling victim to an obvious predator and wanted so desperately for her to snap out of it. Very few books have managed to turn me into such a angst ridden mess!
So my question is this:
Even though Cath made some questionable choices, do you still feel protective of her in some way?
(Thank you - and can’t wait to read more of your work in future!)

@starlight36

Hi Hannah, Another one who will miss the start of the webchat so I'd like to get my question in now. Firstly I read in the front of the book that the TV rights have been bought. Do you have any thoughts about who would be your 'dream team' of actors? Will you get an opportunity to be involved in the production? I found the book thought-provoking and it definitely taught me a lot about Cystic Fibrosis. Did you always feel you had a book in you? Are you working on anything else now?

thanks starlight36. Yes! Very excited about the adaptation. Yes, I have lots of different people i mind and I will always discuss that with the production company. They are a great company, very open to collaboration, but in the end it will be something for them and the screenwriter and the director. It's a very different discipline and I've got to get on and write another book. I love that whole process of tv production though, I used to work in the business so I'm quite into talking about colour palettes and moods and scenes...

Hannah, I know Mother was being developed for TV or Film. How is this progressing?

John

Snap! Starlight36! Great minds, etc.

John :)

@Belo

I have found that I have signal still! So, I’ve got another question (while I can) It’s regarding the cover of the book. I picked this up and started reading it without really thinking what it was about. I knew I I wanted to read it as it was the Mumsnet Book of the month. From looking at the cover I expected a crime story, perhaps with a child abduction. What do you think of the cover Hannah? I know we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover people often do. Do you think the cover is right for your story?

Great question! Yes I love the cover. They used the palette I always had in mind while writing - black, midnight blue, grey, yellow... and it's a very simple image that communicates absence... it seems to imply the absence of a child and I think there's some truth in that if you look at what drives Cath. I love the font. I love the fact that the t of mother looks like a shaking roman catholic cross... guilt, of course, being a key theme

Hannah - I know there's still a few questions to get through but can we put to you the questions that we ask all our book of the month authors:

What was your favourite childhood book?

What was the last book you gave to someone as a gift?

What was the last book you read?

Can you describe the room(s) where you wrote Mother?

@SallySwann

I loved the book and found it a read that I didn't want to put down. I echo a lot of the sentiments about Richard and was not surprised as to how he ended up.You have a child with C.F. yourself so how much, if any, is autobiographical? Or was it simply that you used your own experiences in writing this?

Thanks SallySwann. Great question. It was inspired by my own experience of having a child diagnosed and some of the abject sadness and despair that entails. However, past the diagnosis I didn't share any other experiences with Cath. I gave fictional form to the worst fears I had for myself and my family and I allowed her to go through them for me. Thank you very much Cath. Rather you than me.

@RachelMumsnet

Hannah - I know there's still a few questions to get through but can we put to you the questions that we ask all our book of the month authors:

What was your favourite childhood book?

What was the last book you gave to someone as a gift?

What was the last book you read?

Can you describe the room(s) where you wrote Mother?

Of course:
Eloise In The Plaza
Birds of America by Lorrie Moore
The Pigeon By Patrick Suskind
A very standard small white painted room in the top of my house on a yellow desk covered with crap including pebbles and postits and tea stains

@jjackson42

Hannah, I know Mother was being developed for TV or Film. How is this progressing?

John

hello john! It's in with one of the broadcasters at the moment. We're waiting on their thoughts. thanks for your question.

Phew, pleased I just remembered about the webchat as I was keen to join and say congratulations on such an accomplished debut. Like others I'm keen to read more of your novels. Do you think there's a lot of pressure on new authors on their second novel? Also can you tell us about your experience of writing / being published for your debut - how hard was it to find an agent and how long before you got a book deal? Had you written the whole book before getting the deal? As a blogger and keen writer I'm interested to hear about the process. Thank you.

@SLCM

Hello Hannah, Firstly, congratulations on a truly excellent book. Gripping, emotional and the source of much heated discussion amongst my friends! I found it a desperate read. I felt desperate for Cath... I really wanted to sympathise with her but felt so annoyed with her that she was falling victim to an obvious predator and wanted so desperately for her to snap out of it. Very few books have managed to turn me into such a angst ridden mess! So my question is this: Even though Cath made some questionable choices, do you still feel protective of her in some way? (Thank you - and can’t wait to read more of your work in future!)

thank you SLCM. Yes, I adore her. I spent days weeks months getting to know that woman and I am full of empathy for her. I'm not sure I agree that she fell victim... she was looking for hope and distraction. Richard was looking for someone who would reflect back belief and hope to him. Theirs was a deeply dysfunctional love and attraction. It happens. I don't necessarily agree with Cath but I empathise with her. She was already exhausted when the diagnosis came along. She'd tried to have children for years. I mean jesus... you finally get what you've dreamed of and bang... it's painfully taken away from you. She's in pain and shock and trauma. Having a new baby destroys your sleep, makes you question your sanity at the best of times and there she is in a marriage with a man who isn't wrong, isn't bad... but isn't right for her. I don't judge her. I don't blame her. What she did was idiotic but there are plenty of people out there who are worse than idiotic.

Dave seems very understanding or extremely naive whilst Cath goes off to the various meetings. He offered to accompany Cath to a meeting but was turned down flat. Would you say that Dave had strong suspicions that Cath was being unfaithful? I presume a child being diagnosed with C.F. must put a tremendous strain on a partnership.