Full boarding options for boy

[Conniedmack]

Hello, after some advice on boarding schools for my son. He’s smart but not genius, middle to upper level although he’s just started at his prep after 4 different schools abroad. He’s great at sports, easily makes friends, enjoys currently boarding weekly. Wondering whether I should bother with schools that seem so hard to get into, many tests (Harrow, Marlborough etc). I worry the pressure would be too much for him, he’s currently 10. He is an avid reader and huge depth of knowledge on many things, I’d say a self learner who absorbs knowledge when delivered by an aspiring teacher. He is a 10 yr old gregarious boy who’d currently prefer to rough and tumble rather than study for exams. Loves hockey, rugby and football. Not sure he’s scholarship material (although hard to assess at this age).

Any advice on the type of school that is looking for boys beyond the academic grade but rather the thinking, intuitive adaptive child. He wouldn’t do well at a hothouse. So far I’ve looked at Sherborne and Radley. Booked in to tour Canford and maybe Harrow and Stowe.

Home - Bedford School,
Merchiston: Private Boys Boarding School in Edinburgh (if you'd consider Scotland)
Haileybury, a co-educational Independent Day and Boarding School
QueenEthelburgas.org

All sound like they'd be worth a look. All offer something slightly different and have different feels, but get good results without being overly pressured, have great facilities and good sports departments.

For Co-ed Oundle sounds like a v good fit.

Marlborough and Rugby too.

I was going to suggest Canford actually. Sounds as though it would be a good fit for him. It's not a hot house but they are definitely encouraged to work hard and do their best. Sports (termly rotation)are rugby, hockey, and then cricket, tennis or athletics, although they can do rowing instead of hockey and the summer sports (2 term commitment). No formal football until (I think) VI form, but nightly social kick arounds after prep seem to be the norm. All boarders are "full" in the sense that there is no flexi/ occasional boarding, but they are reasonably flexible on weekends (rule is boarders must be in 50% Saturday nights) so if you want genuine full boarding (i.e. exeats and holidays only), Oundle, Marlborough or Sherborne might work better, but it depends where you live. I'd also add that the Canford houses never clear out completely - always a good few around and even those that go home Saturday are often back early Sunday pm.

The tours will really help in decision making. Helpful to ask dates for scholarships - sports, academic etc as the tests or whatever they for sports will likely be in year 8, after initial assessment and offer.
Boarding house, and master will be very important for child, so if you have a student giving tours, ask them questions about life in house. (Which house is “best” hard to know from adults & students tend to favour own house. So maybe ask what are the house stereotypes ..)

Sounds like a boy any school should be happy to welcome, @Conniedmack . But if you are not happy with the early selection rigmarole, and want boys-only full boarding, he sounds like an excellent fit for Sherborne.
I have two DS there who are absolutely flourishing. It's quite broad entry but that includes some really clever boys and the teaching is good enough to give them stretch. Extracurricular provision is excellent, particulary music; sport is good for both major and minor disciplines, and there is a strong emphasis on being a decent human being. There's also the partnership with Sherborne Girls, which means the best of both SS and Co-Ed. I have found pastoral care to be really good- DS' Housemaster properly understands adolescent boys and how to get the best out of them individually and as a collective.

Thank you. Have looked at Sherborne and going back again soon. Appreciate your comments. I have a daughter also so that would work well, although worried it being spread out through town it felt like more a university than a school. Perhaps as kids get older they’d love being in town

@Conniedmack I think they welcome the freedom in contrast to a rural campus, and it's nice to see kids from both schools out and about in the town. That said, it's a pretty safe kind of freedom- there's not too much they can get up to since almost everything closes by 5pm! We chose a house that combines great outdoor space with proximity to the main school and dining- it's a bit more of a hike to the sports pitches though close to the gym, music practice rooms and Courts. My two have recently started coming and going by train which felt like a big stride toward independence- we are lucky to have a direct service to Sherborne itself. That was hard to imagine when they were 10 though! I guess the trick is to find a school that meets changing needs from boyhood to young adulthood and allows boys to do their growing up.

Gordonstoun? Very outdoorsy active school.

Millfield - sporty school

Indeed it is hard to imagine at 10. Nice to have the train in the town. We are usually abroad so having the train into London or airport would be good. I’ll go and have a look at it again and some boarding houses. Many thanks for your reply and assistance

Many thanks I will have a look at suggestions

Thank you. Will look at Canford and Marlborough. Marlborough might work better as daughter to follow wishes to be in an all girls so was looking at St Mary’s Calne with son at Marlborough but hear Marlborough is quite tough to get into and has become very popular, also maybe too many kids 🤔 had me thinking the competition would be fierce for sporting teams.

sherborne is on the radar, thank you.
Oundle looks amazing but not sure perhaps just so far away as we are usually London based or abroad. But I will definitely go and visit. Thank you for your suggestions

Canford is co-ed, siblings could happily attend same school which would make parenting and sports/weekend visits more convenient. I know mine enjoyed being at the same school and now that oldest ones have moved to uni, they share the common bond of same school, same staff, and know each others friends. When them are home together, the socialise easily with each other and sibling friends have that common bond. I would not have thought of this when they were in year 6.

Thank you yes definitely much easier logistically although at the same school now and they rarely have matches at ‘home’ same weekend. I am actually finding my daughter doesn’t love being at the same school as all the children always refer to her as “xx’s little sister”. Son is a big character. So although it would be much easier to be at the same senior, at the moment I do think DD would do better in an environment that is “hers”. If that makes any sense. So ideally need a school for my son within close proximity to an all girls. So very complicated 😂🫣

many thanks for your advice though and who knows things might change as they get older.

Thank you. Will definitely look at these

There are buses laid on to and from the airports at Sherborne. They are also now offering accomodation for exeats.

Welcome - sounds like you're in the fortunate position where he would do well anywhere so it's just a case of finding a fit for him!

@Conniedmack I feel as though we have parallel lives- I also seriously looked at SMC for DD- it's a really lovely school with so much to like about it. However as @Bumpitybumpbumplook says, there are advantages to having them together, or at twin schools like Sherborne boys and girls, especially if there are weekends that they both want to come home and you can only really facilitate one at a time if they are 2 hours apart if you didn't go for Marlborough (buses tend to be exeats and half term only). Also risk of speech day clashes etc.

Totally understand your DD's perspective re being "X's sister" but I imagine their current prep is much smaller than these 13+ schools which dilutes the sibling rivalry and enables them to carve out their own identities, especially if there's at least a clear year between them :-)

However, another option if you do want to go down the girls route for DD would be Radley + Downe House.

You said full boarding school and yet still so many have recommended schools which are not full boarding. Yes these schools “offer” full boarding but the moment you allow ANY kind of flexi option tfor exeats, you are left with schools feeling like deflated balloons on Saturday night and Sundays.
So first scratch any school where it is not compulsory to be in school 7 days a week except for the fixed exeats (usually one or two each term plus half term). There’s about 4 of 5 schools mentioned on this thread that qualify as true full boarding (not Sherborne, not Canford, not Bedford) plus I’d discount any school more than 2 hours from London - as frankly, why would you want to make exeat logistics harder than they need to be?
the closer the schools are to London, the more competitive the entrance is. More stressful. Etc

For an all rounder child with a breadth of interests , then the best schools are Oundle, Rugby and Marlborough. Being full boarding schools, you naturally find around a quarter of pupils head to London or abroad for exeats so your child will be one of many.
all 3 of these are truly excellent schools and you cannot go wrong with any of them. They are all within 2 hours of London . I have DC at Oundle and it’s a 7 miles to the train station and 45 mins to London on the train.
but which ever you choose, if your son needs full boarding then strike out every school that allows boarders to go home on any other weekend than those fixed exeats where every pupil MUST go home.

Yes that is so true their prep is quite small (300) and your point about aligning exeats I had not even considered 🫣 I just feel DD would do much better without the distraction of boys, she is rather academic but not so sporty. All so difficult and they are all very good schools really. I need to get to them all and have a look, hopefully one or two will stand out and I’ll have that gut feeling. Downe house is on our list and agree would be a good fit if we went or got into Radley. Thank you. I hope you’re search was or is going well

Thank you for your advice. I do like the look of Oundle but it’s a heck of a drive to see a sports match but does look ideallic. I will definitely go and visit. How is your DC liking Oundle?
I always thought Sherborne was full boarding, I have visited but didn’t love they shared facilities with the public and their dining hall was in a public pedestrian area. Maybe I’m being fussy.
many view on Radley? I haven’t considered Rugby so will have a look and yes Marlborough is on the list, just was worried that it’s become very popular and thus hard to get into but I guess worth trying. Going to visit soon. Pastoral care is most important for us especially if we are abroad as only family is in Kent so need a school that actually cares about my child and takes and interest and is a role model, inspiring teacher. And I’d hope this would be standard given the fees 😵‍💫 thank you for your advice, most appreciated

It’s true that at a lot of “full boarding” with required weekends …. are still empty on Sat-Sun.
That the more local students do go home Saturday after games & return Sunday evening.

The only pupils in house are the overseas & there may not be many.

This is a good question to ask on yours- ask the student giving the tour.

Great schools……
Greshams ( Norfolk).

uppingham
oundle
clifton (Bristol)
Brecon (Wales)
dollar (Scotland)
Wellington
Marlborough

have heard great things of UWC Atlantic but unsure what age they start at.

Oundle. It’s been great for a family child who was in lower half of year at his academic hot house prep.

so much more confident and I agree you want a school where a lot of boarders are there at weekends to stop them feeling like poor unloved relations.

Greshams is empty at the weekends as 90% of pupils live within 20 miles.
Uppingham a good shout but some find it a bit countryfied and a bit cliquey amongst jolly hockey sticks parents.
Atlantic is a left field choice!!
the others haven’t heard of but doubt they are fixed full boarding schools.

Sherborne is so close to full boarding that you can safely regard it as such. There are just a handful of local day boys but you don't have the issues of boarding houses emptying at weekends. And they coordinate diaries with the sister school so terms, exeat dates etc are fully aligned.

Our (all boys) prep Head advised against Marlborough for our boys on the grounds that the girls currently heading there are so impressive and so much more mature and worldly wise that boys of the same age would be a bit squashed. That could be because ours were fairly young for their years, summer born and academic rather than Alpha. I believe Marlborough is relatively uncommon in that there's roughly equal numbers of boys and girls whereas in many co-ed schools the boys have critical mass.

Hearing very good things about Oundle, although not sure how convenient it is unless you are north of London.