Private school scholarships

[erint09]

So, DS (12) has recently attained a 13+ scholarship to a really great sporting boarding school for his cricket. This is something he has wanted for as long as I can remember and he is extremely excited. However, we have three other children who we cannot justify school fees for. Our local schools aren't great (local primary school Ofsted of needs work, and local secondary schools having inadequate (two different schools)) so this opportunity would be amazing for him. DD (9) will likely also go for the same scholarship as she is incredibly sporty as well as being quite academic. If she is to get this scholarship then we will probably be able to afford it. However, DD (6) and DD (4) haven't showed any signs of an interest in sport. Would it be unfair to not allow DS (12) and DD (9) to access this education as it isn't fair on their younger siblings/allow the older to to go but have to keep the younger ones in awful state education?

Unless it requires huge financial input from you, which would be a detriment to the other children, I think you would be wrong not to let him go. No ones children have equal skills and opportunities in life. All you can do is try to give each individual child the best opportunities available to them.

Have you been told e at my what the scholarship is worth? In some schools, a scholarship is more of a kudos/symbolic thing, but not worth much. Bursaries are where the big fee reduction comes in.

For example, at dd's school a music scholarship was 2 music lessons per week and a sports scholarship was about £500 per year and some extra sports coaching.

Sorry - typo.

Have you been told exactly what the scholarship is worth.

Local indep school does scholarships for:
music
academic
drama

Have noticed that school seems to “find” some scholarships for the siblings of their top sports”boys” prob in similar situation to yourself.

Perhaps try help other kids to develop In ways that might support scholarship / sibling discount.

Private schools might have been all but destroyed by VAT by the time your younger dcs come through. 😂

Send him of course.
Each child their own path.

Needs work and inadequate will have to turn around. Ofsted won't leave them like that.

A child’s interest in sport can change rapidly. My 5 year old would idly pick daisies and stare at the sky when he went to football.

He now plays another sport at International Level.

Your younger ones may develop in a similar way.

Let him go.

maybe by the time the littlest ones get to secondary the schools will have been turnaround

I would treat all children as individuals and support equally.

My husband received a scholarship (full) and his younger sibling wrongly assumed that they went without to ensure that he went to private school. Even though each had be given the same opportunities. One chose to stay with his friends and the last two never qualified for scholarship.Growing up there was some bitterness even at 50 his younger brother often comments on where he could have been had he went to private school. At home he wasn’t treated differently- had to help as much as the others - but obviously due to boarding wasn’t home as much.

Be honest and make sure that the younger siblings as they grow up are aware the eldest got the opportunity through hard work! & be clear about the money etc

What is important is that each of your children need to know that you love them equally and are proud of their achievements whatever they are. But you shouldn't hold any of them back from reaching their full potential in whatever field they choose. Let the oldest take up the scholarship and see where it takes him. Encourage your younger children to find what they love and excel in it whether or not it can lead to a scholarship.

It's ridiculous to expect or want equality of academic achievement between siblings. It doesn't work that way. Just don't label any of them with simplistic labels.

Denying some DCs something they have achieved is not good parenting.

You can move be before the young ones are secondary age.

Its 35%

It's 35%

Is it full boarding, could you reduce to weekly, flexi or even day to reduce fees?

Once oldest is in the school, and solid in the sport. Approach school looking to get discount for others.
Have seen whole family 3 kids benefit in scholarships as one child “gifted” cricketer. We others saw bogus drama, art, public speaking scholarships awarded to a sister who joined school after the scholarship award cycle. The younger sister not great w sports yet on a sports scholarship.

Mother garnered ire and respect for her working the system.

This has been interesting to read. We also have four children. DH and I were privately educated all the way through and panicked that we were about to 'subject' DS1 to state secondary, so without telling him what he was doing, put him in for a scholarship (7+) to the local outstanding prep. He 'loved doing the quizzes' and ended up with their top scholarship (50% fees) but as we had the other 3 to think about, we and we were refused a bursary, we turned it down after a huge amount of agonising. HOWEVER, we were able to do so because a) he didn't know what we'd entered him for and b) we'd made a conscious decision to move to where the state schools are excellent and so he (and his siblings) have all been to superselective grammars - and he's now at Cambridge.

In your situation, it's a bit more difficult - he knows what he's been entered for and has succeeded in winning an award. Can you afford to send the other three if they end up with 'scholarships' awarded by the school? As others have said, I've seen this happen with other schools/multiple siblings, but it may be harder if Labour impose the VAT and schools have less leeway for awards.

Aha, 35% still means a lot of fees to pay especially with the VAT increase looming.

Would your son be entitled to a bursary at all?

It would be horribly unfair to deny your DS the opportunity to join the private school. You would inadvertently plant a seed of resentment that would grow if your DS didn’t achieve everything he thought he might have if he had been allowed to go to the private school.
He should not be held back from fulfilling his potential because his younger siblings might not have scholarship potential.

If you decide not to send him because you can’t afford the fees please make sure he knows that’s the reason. Don’t let him think it’s because his siblings might not be as able.
Have you applied for a bursary? Some senior schools are very generous especially if your DS is scholarship material.
If you are not offered a bursary why not contact other schools that offer 100% bursaries for cricket?
I think Eastbourne College and Christ Hospital do. Good luck.

This.

I think perhaps it is a little unclear whether you feel accepting the offer might be unfair to your son’s siblings because you doubt they’ll get the same offer or because financially you wouldn’t be able to accept for all your children even if they did.

In case of the former, I think it’s pretty clear, as others have expressed, that it would be possibly even more unfair to your son not to accept. More likely your worry is the latter, and that is obviously a more complicated situation.

All I can say is that I have always taken the rather irresponsible approach of accepting every opportunity immediately while not worrying about potential problems until I have to. Things have a way of sorting themselves out in the end. His siblings may never be offered a similar opportunity, or by the time they are, things may look different. Perhaps by then larger bursaries will be an option for them or even your eldest, perhaps you are in a financially stronger position or perhaps Labour has banned private schools altogether. Generally I find that people who grab any opportunity given, gets further in life than those who worry about potential future problems.

Your DS has won the scholarship on his own merit. Let him have his opportunity because he earned it. If your other DC get a scholarship great it will be because they also earned it. If younger DC not able to earn a scholarship then the local school for them. Maybe you could afford them a home tutor to boost their grades. All children are different and your younger DC might turn out to have other gifts. You can't keep everything equal for them forever anyway.

You could always apply for bursaries with 2+ children as the school will take it into consideration. They will trawl through your finances but if you cant afford it, you have nothing to loose!