Wellington for a 'quirky' DD

[HlnHny]

Opinions please on if Wellington College would suit a quirky DD? Is it big enough that she would find her 'tribe'? She isn't in the 'popular' group at prep, more on the fringes. She is an all rounder with a v high cat score and is confident, but with a quirky personality. She isn't enjoying being top end of current non selective prep, so preference would be selective for senior school. There has been frustrations with pace and some unpleasant singling out from other pupils. Perhaps with Westminster going co-ed that might be a better option?
Any other suggestions? preferably co-ed in the south east or southern midlands (we are just outside London near the m40) boarding with option to come home at weekends.
Prep recommended wellington but I'm aware it is hugely in demand currently and would look good on their destinations list.

Oh the “no” was just in answer to the specific question oP raised about a fit for a quirky academic type . From what our prep heads told us, and the children I have known there, it’s more the robust all-rounder type. So not a bad thing at all! Just not what OP had asked for a steer on.

Socially super-confident kids with sharp elbows
Very wealthy Euro-kids whose parents are in Hello!
Kids with celebrity parents whose parents are in Hello!
Kids with an extreme precocious talent for something (eg better than scratch golf or two instruments grade 8 aged 11)
Any combination of the above

ha ha ha

@HlnHny

DC just leaving Wellington after completing IB

shy & quiet but loved it. Parents whose children didn't get in are often scathing.

And for a school which has made a very big deal about teaching “happiness”, it has an alarming number of recent pupils who have taken their own lives.

I think Wellington is an excellent school. I just don’t think there is one school that is excellent for all.

The children I have known who were quirky and academic have fared well at places like Westminster, Winchester and Wycombe Abbey.

The children whom I have known who were drawn to wellington tended to be confident all- rounder types who wouldn’t necessarily have enjoyed the academic pace at those schools but who enjoy competition across a broad spectrum. I wasn’t sure about all @Ziegfeld‘s assessments but do think socially they tend to be quite confident. I would also say doers more than thinkers.

I just think children are put together differently and a WA type isn’t necessarily a Wellington type. But that’s not disparaging either. When you say “ quirky and academic” op it’s not a school that springs to mind.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to input to this thread.

Any thoughts on Charterhouse?

Thank you for your feedback

Thank you for your feedback.

My son was at Wellington for 6th form - his friendship group would certainly fall into the 'quirky' category. The acceptance of 'different' at Wellington is what made him enjoy it so much. Academically it's great - he got a perfect IB score and went to Medicine at Exeter. His friends were/are at Kings (Law), Barts (Medicine), Boston College (Business) and Princeton. I am not sure how you could do better than that academically. The offering in sports, art and music (including their own radio station) is exceptional.

Don't disregard Wellington without seeing it, it's very academic these days (but very hard to get in). Our very academic DS has just started after getting a place off the waiting list and we know lots of girls higher up the school (some of whom are definitely 'quirky', but loving it). All very bright and very curious. Last year Wellington sent 22 to Oxbridge and 12 to Ivy Leagues:
https://www.wellingtoncollege.org.uk/news-events/record-oxbridge-and-ivy-league-success-for-wellington-pupils ).

If your DD is smart and clever, she would thrive. It’s ‘cool to be clever’, but learning is also designed to be fun and until it’s actually exam time, the kids are encouraged to do 5 million other things: from sport / dance / drama / volunteering / whatever they're into. Yes a lot of celeb kids, but no special fuss is made (and why should actors / sports stars not be allowed to choose the best schools for their kids? Many live not far from the school so it's a perfectly natural choice). Not seen any Eurotrash, if they're there, they're not obvious.

We were very keen on an academic school for our DS, so he'd have the positive influence of other bright kids while still indulging his hobbies (performing arts). Last summer 83% of GCSEs were 9-7 (ie high A star / low A star / regular A) and over a fifth of that year got straight 9s. A-levels/IB were 31% A star/7 and 72% A star/7 and A/6. There are a lot of high achievers but they are nice with it. And there's not the intense bitchiness among the girls you get with the more academic all-girls schools. Sport is compulsory but you can choose what you do (out of a huge list of over 20 things). DS’s dorm-mate is a softly spoken brilliant artist who always tells us how he's managed to have never once set foot on a rugby pitch! If your DD can get in, I'd say go for it. You won’t regret it.

I don't know it well but I genuinely thought Wellington was one of the best and most sought after public schools in the country?

Although, having only visited once for a scholarship dinner a past pupil invited me to, I absolutely fell in love with Downe House. The depth and breadth of opportunity and the way the girls were so free to excel in everything with no restraints or expectations on them because of their sex really hit me. The older girls who made speeches were the most poised, charismatic delightful 17 year olds I've come across. The atmosphere of the place captivated me. And I hadn't previously been a huge advocate for single sex education. But it was only one evening!

Wellington definitely NOT. The girls who really thrive at Wellington (which remains super-fashionable ) tend to be like my niece who left a couple of years ago: outgoing, sassy, cool all-rounders who can hold their own in what is a large school dominated by competitive London & M25 parents. On the flip side, it's a big school, so your DD could well find her tribe there but I wouldn't bet on it.

Charterhouse: Weekly boarding, a jaunt round the M25 from M40, gone fully co-ed, traditional with excellent head making waves, less macho than Welly, strong brand & academic tradition.

Others worth looking at: Haileybury; Teddies (Oxford); Lancing; Sevenoaks

And I almost forgot KIngs Canterbury...an absolutely fab school full of quirky types and v academic and enjoying a revival under new head. Fabulous ancient school but not weekly boarding but well worth a visit

Stumbled across this thread as am considering Wellington myself and can’t help myself adding two comments!

Mainly I wanted to come on here to implore you to consider Frensham Heights. The most accepting and happy school, perfect for a ‘quirky’ child. Absolutely not for sporty kids though if this is important to you x

Wellington is fab, the size of it means it genuinely suits all, all big schools do (1000+). My best friend went there. She isn't sending her kids there as in her words "it's a bit suburban" and she likes country schools so if this is a factor for choosing (not sure why it would be, was a bit puzzled it was a factor for choosing tbh) then maybe not right place. But I'd say its the top co-ed in the UK. I went to Oundle and admit Wellington is better. Good luck, Im sure your DC will thrive. Watch out for the boarding though, it's not really a full boarding school, it's mostly weekly.

Wellington is a great school. But it’s mainstream, driven, very monied (but it’s so close to London so the first “rural” point of call for cashed up townsfolk wanting a slice of rural pie). Driven at all things such as sport, academics. Weekly hoarding really. But none of this screams a great school for quirky children.
if your child has an offer then that’s great. Just as long as that child is mainstream rather than off beat.

Categorically no! I have direct experience of wellington. Pastoral care is shockingly poor.
Generally speaking there is a massive Alpha kids element and if you don’t fit in, you’re alienated. House Masters do little / nothing to resolve issues
Lots of money spent on day students / international but not boarding life.
Class sizes are massive for private school.

OP, @HlnHny
not sure if you are still considering WC for your daughter; I just wanted to come back and qualify my earlier input.

Without being an active member of a team sport, or dance which they seem to very strong in, it is next to impossible for an academically inclined girl to make friends or to feel part of the school. This has been our experience.

I would not describe the school as being remotely "academic". More of everybody has their strengths and it's all encouraged. But, again, only if you arrive with already high levels of accomplishment.

Being academic is not the norm; no matter what it is claimed by way of being "selective". And I mean, engagement, not accomplishment. It is a tiny minority who are inclined that way. So, finding your tribe becomes harder.

To add to that, the house system further restricts the choices.

It is a lot of hard work!!
If a child can navigate all this, at 13, they might come out at the other end, feeling ok!

And they do everything on their laptops. So, on the screen all the time. Online shopping during lessons and constant emailing etc is normal

Reading the above I wonder how many of you have children who went to Wellington College recently because I do not recognise the place you describe. We are teachers, we took out a bank loan to send our DS to Wellington for 6th form - so hardly monied. After a couple of months, he moved boarding house with the support of 2 excellent housemasters because he felt the first house was not for him. DS is a happy and confident person but 'sharp elbows' is not him. He played 1st team Tennis and Rugby for both years (did not get a scholarship) and was welcomed by one and all: became a prefect, got a brilliant IB score and went to Exeter to study medicine. He made friends for life - many of them girls. "Not remotely academic" - are you serious? His friends went to: Edinburgh, Law; Kings, Law; Barts, Medicine; Boston College, Business; Princeton, Economics, Oxford, Law; Imperial, Engineering - how is that not Academic? He lived in Exeter with three boys from Welly (not from his house) and has friends for life. He loved every minute at Wellington.

Have to agree, this is the experience of all my friends of Wellington. They all loved it and are doing v well. Brown, Harvard, Oxford blah. Acting in films. All pretty smart.

@Henleymum212 sounds like you’ve been very lucky… and I would agree 6th form is much better than the rest of the school.

Our experience is the opposite of yours with our child going all the way through. Here’s my view, but everyone will of course be different!

Issues we experienced.
-Ineffective HM’s; The schools general approach is to make you feel listened to and then do absolutely nothing.
-Little tangible action to proactively deal with badly behaved children…both in and out of class… indeed many examples of where they they seem to favour the bully
-Very poor pastoral support with favoured children being rewarded and others ignored.
-Cliques galore…. the parents are, in our experience, as bad as the children;

-poor IT support which is very annoying when everything has to be on the laptop.
-Sport is really only for the super talented;

-Class sizes are very big for the middle set.
-Def comes across like those who are less confident are the ones forced to leave the school because the school won’t deal with bullying and continual unkindness. Many examples in years 3 and 4 of this happening where the “kind” children leave.

-Day students seem much happier. Boarding life seems to be run by the 6th form. You can imagine the issues this creates, especially in boys houses.
-the school is not overtly investing in boarders or improving their environment. ( other than 6th form)
-missing a fair few facilities that other schools would have as standard … pool isn’t up to par; no athletics track; the gym is open to the public so they hardly use it; no rowing.
To be fair, I have no idea if these negatives are any better or worse than any other boarding school!

Good points.
--Teaching quality is fabulous, with a few who are utter champions and genuinely inspire the children. There are a couple of terrible teachers we have experienced but you’ll get that anywhere.
-Lots of clubs and societies to keep them occupied.
-great whole school activities like house singing and dancing.
-If you’re in top or bottom sets class sizes are great.
-6th form offers much more freedom and flexibility although class size in some subjects is quite high

• very accommodating if you need to flex the typical schedule eg dentist appointments, family events or just want a night at home.

-if you get a good tutor they are great and really useful. If you're “A” team sport you’ll be utterly fine. Don’t think however that because you were “A” at prep then you’ll be “A” here. So, if you have a child who can hold their own then brilliant and they will be super happy. If you have a child who might struggle socially or need more support, my view is boarding life probably wont be for them.

Sounds like the experience of the school might be different for 6th formers and taking into account various other factors too.

Our experience has been very much in line with @HappyGardenDays regarding bullying as well.

Academic standards and expectations, it is all relative, I suppose. I mentioned it in the spirit of academic engagement, as it's a very relevant point to answer OP's question, on how a quirky, academic child will fit in, or not, in this case.

Regarding previous posters mention of Univ destinations, if those metrics were to be relied on, for what it is worth, WC is ranked 87 in the latest Parent power league tables!

Good luck with finding the right school for your child, OP.

errrr @Henleymum212 - "He played 1st team Rugby for both years"

At WC that's pretty much the golden ticket to popularity and means you have a ready made tribe from day 1. But that golden ticket is reserved for only 15 boys across the entire sixth form, and not much use to someone with a "quirky eccentric daughter" starting in Third Block.