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Boarding school

Connect with fellow parents of boarding school students on our supportive forum. Share experiences, tips, and insights.

Original poster

“Choice of housemaster actually more important than choice of school in the case of both Eton and Winchester” Thoughts on this?

43 replies

artistmother · 09/01/2024 15:47

“Choice of housemaster actually more important than choice of school in the case of both Eton and Winchester”. Thoughts on this? If people aren't done discussing these schools! I know there have been a lot of threads around Win Coll recently 😅. Just trying to understand current parents' feelings on the two schools as my son may have to choose between them in a few months. Thank you 🙏

OP posts:
Original poster
artistmother · 13/01/2024 13:13

@Araminta1003 Interesting point on the Winchester admissions process; from a prospective parent's point of view, it's rather nice, but in the bigger picture, the HM is indeed giving quite a bit of his time to students he may never see again. I understand why some schools wait to match pupils and HMs until offers have been made and accepted now. I'm not sure about the Wincoll process getting in the way of Pastoral Care but it is giving the HM an extra job he could do without. I hadn't thought of it this way.

@TonTonMacoute Would rather turn the House Master off than turn him on 😉. In any case, I see your point. My interest in Pastoral Care isn't about hand-holding and constant reassuring phone-calls, no news is good news, as far as I'm concerned. I do hope to fall upon a HM who cares about his pupils and can handle tricky situations swiftly and efficiently, not necessarily with my own son, but with anyone in the house.

OP posts:
Neptune24 · 13/01/2024 13:42

'I do hope to fall upon a HM who cares about his pupils and can handle tricky situations swiftly and efficiently, not necessarily with my own son, but with anyone in the house.'

This is spot on @artistmother , our issue was that the housemaster didn't have the stomach to act when it was necessary. My son wasn't affected directly but it does upset the whole house. There were boys who should have been sent home but for reasons we can only speculate about were encouraged to stay on for 6th form.
I don't think that the housemaster has as much authority as it appears. There were parents in our house who clearly did not want to deal with their son's mental health problems so left them to a housemaster who was completely ill equipped to deal with them.

We felt that ore son's boyhood was too short so moved on. He did have an day option available.
The boys issues did escalate in the 6th form just as my son thought they would.

Calliopespa · 13/01/2024 14:25

Neptune24 · 13/01/2024 13:42

'I do hope to fall upon a HM who cares about his pupils and can handle tricky situations swiftly and efficiently, not necessarily with my own son, but with anyone in the house.'

This is spot on @artistmother , our issue was that the housemaster didn't have the stomach to act when it was necessary. My son wasn't affected directly but it does upset the whole house. There were boys who should have been sent home but for reasons we can only speculate about were encouraged to stay on for 6th form.
I don't think that the housemaster has as much authority as it appears. There were parents in our house who clearly did not want to deal with their son's mental health problems so left them to a housemaster who was completely ill equipped to deal with them.

We felt that ore son's boyhood was too short so moved on. He did have an day option available.
The boys issues did escalate in the 6th form just as my son thought they would.

That sounds awful Neptune, and actually a hard one for the HM as well. I think whatever the benefits of boarding might or might not be, it isn’t an ideal option if MH issues are involved. But all’s well that ends well as US is increasingly becoming the holy grail it seems to me so felicitations on that front! Is he enjoying it?

Neptune24 · 13/01/2024 15:32

Thank you @Calliopespa , he loves it and seems to be made for US college life. He's making the most of every opportunity.
He's a lovely chap ( obviously I'm biased ).

Original poster
artistmother · 13/01/2024 18:44

Thanks for sharing your experience @Neptune24 and well done taking the right decision for your son! Can’t have been easy being disappointed by the HM and having to take the decision to change schools in Year 12. Great he got his first choice uni in the US which he preferred to Cambridge, wow! I don’t know much about US unis but can see they’re becoming more and more popular. Can you say why you went for the US option?

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 13/01/2024 19:10

artistmother · 13/01/2024 18:44

Thanks for sharing your experience @Neptune24 and well done taking the right decision for your son! Can’t have been easy being disappointed by the HM and having to take the decision to change schools in Year 12. Great he got his first choice uni in the US which he preferred to Cambridge, wow! I don’t know much about US unis but can see they’re becoming more and more popular. Can you say why you went for the US option?

I can’t speak for Neptune but many are heading this way as oxbridge is in real flux.

Neptune24 · 14/01/2024 16:08

There are definitely more heading to the US @Calliopespa, he wasn't the only boy to opt for an Ivy league ahead of Oxbridge.

@artistmother I wasn't sure at first, the application process involves a lot of work on top of A level's. DS did all the research and work himself so we just supported him really. DS's universities is extremely wealthy and the network of alumni opens up multiple opportunities. For DS it seemed unbeatable.

Your DS may well look at the US in addition to his Oxbridge application when he reaches that stage
Good luck with your decision, I would imagine that your DS will have numerous offers to choose from. He sounds like a super boy.

Calliopespa · 14/01/2024 18:22

Neptune24 · 14/01/2024 16:08

There are definitely more heading to the US @Calliopespa, he wasn't the only boy to opt for an Ivy league ahead of Oxbridge.

@artistmother I wasn't sure at first, the application process involves a lot of work on top of A level's. DS did all the research and work himself so we just supported him really. DS's universities is extremely wealthy and the network of alumni opens up multiple opportunities. For DS it seemed unbeatable.

Your DS may well look at the US in addition to his Oxbridge application when he reaches that stage
Good luck with your decision, I would imagine that your DS will have numerous offers to choose from. He sounds like a super boy.

How did he go about it Neptune? I know some students using agencies ! Was thus necessary?

Neptune24 · 15/01/2024 08:31

@Calliopespa He didn't think is was necessary. He practiced online for the SATS , he put a lot of time into his extra-curriculars . He set up a non profit relating to his passion which is connected to his degree choice ( he won an international award for this). He reached out to a leader in the field and to my surprise they got involved.

DS put a lot of time into the essays they require. He began volunteering in a local charity during the holidays in year 10 , he set up a summer program for children connected to this in the summer of year 11 again he reaches out and others got involved. His school was very supportive with references etc. He did have a lot of luck along the way. It was all driven by him and we were very impressed with his determination. It's definitely the right place for him.

Mollyscatbasket · 15/01/2024 11:24

Well done to your DS @Neptune24
Do you mind sharing the A levels that he was predicted/ achieved. Apologies for derailing the op's thread , my DS is interested in the US.

Original poster
artistmother · 15/01/2024 11:54

@Mollyscatbasket Sure! I want all @Neptune24 's tips too :)

OP posts:
Marjoribanks · 15/01/2024 12:00

Neptune24 · 15/01/2024 08:31

@Calliopespa He didn't think is was necessary. He practiced online for the SATS , he put a lot of time into his extra-curriculars . He set up a non profit relating to his passion which is connected to his degree choice ( he won an international award for this). He reached out to a leader in the field and to my surprise they got involved.

DS put a lot of time into the essays they require. He began volunteering in a local charity during the holidays in year 10 , he set up a summer program for children connected to this in the summer of year 11 again he reaches out and others got involved. His school was very supportive with references etc. He did have a lot of luck along the way. It was all driven by him and we were very impressed with his determination. It's definitely the right place for him.

How enormously impressive, @Neptune24 . Your son clearly deserves his success, Bravo to him (not intended in a patronising way!)

Neptune24 · 15/01/2024 12:12

@Marjoribanks thank you for your kind words.

@Mollyscatbasket He was predicted 5 A* ( including an EPQ ) and he achieved all A*
His A levels were a mix of stem and essay based subjects, the US liked this combination.

MomfromCanada · 15/01/2024 12:49

Very impressive @Neptune24 your son's achievements are awesome ! They will.love him in the United States.

Calliopespa · 15/01/2024 12:54

Neptune24 · 15/01/2024 08:31

@Calliopespa He didn't think is was necessary. He practiced online for the SATS , he put a lot of time into his extra-curriculars . He set up a non profit relating to his passion which is connected to his degree choice ( he won an international award for this). He reached out to a leader in the field and to my surprise they got involved.

DS put a lot of time into the essays they require. He began volunteering in a local charity during the holidays in year 10 , he set up a summer program for children connected to this in the summer of year 11 again he reaches out and others got involved. His school was very supportive with references etc. He did have a lot of luck along the way. It was all driven by him and we were very impressed with his determination. It's definitely the right place for him.

Oh that’s incredible: he certainly deserves his success! And you know what they say about making your own luck - I’m sure he did!

Mollyscatbasket · 15/01/2024 12:56

@Neptune24 What a remarkable young man, thank you for sharing his story. Reading it has made my day xx

mummyoftheboys · 23/06/2024 14:54

As the parents of sons at Winchester who DON'T have a good HM, I would ask around as much as possible to get a sense of the HM before taking them at face value. Some are truly incredible, and a couple really aren't. Unfortunately, the WC system means they are very much in control of your sons lives and, even if your sons try hard, it doesn't compensate for a poor HM. It's very difficult - there is much to like about it but, equally, the reality of a house system with a bad HM IS a problem.

Chirurgicus · 16/09/2024 08:05

Caring and thoughtful HM at both schools imho.
Between the two we chose Eton because:

  1. Eton was more accommodating of our son's tennis (he flew fortnightly/monthly to play internationally- but agreed to slow down for his sixth form. Winchester were slightly over-worried/ too nannyish- just my opinion)
  2. Maths A level plus 3 Science A-levels wasn't do-able at Winchester and he wanted all four to be sure of Cambridge medicine.
  3. Re boarding, between them, I preferred Winchester, but then I was at Westminster (academically better) but my wife disliked it. Wife much preferred Eton and she was right, our son loved it.
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