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To live near her family or mine?

27 replies

duod · 09/04/2022 20:48

So just to put this out there, I'm a guy but I think you older wiser black women might be helpful

I'm black and my gf is white. Im from London and she's from Manchester. I met her in Manchester at work and we've been dating for 3 years. I'm 29, she's 26.

She's just got a 3 year training contract at work as of last month and we're planning on buying a house in Manchester.

Initially I wanted to live near London to be near family and when we have kids, I think it'll be good to live in a diverse area however my gf convinced me that she has more family support for our future childcare, cheaper up north and the area we're thinking of living in is not totally white with pockets of ethnic people around

My family obviously want me to live near/in London and are worried about my future children not knowing their black side as much or not belonging because they'll inevitably be seeing more of their white relatives as we'll be nearer to them.

I'm having second thoughts and I hate this feeling of what if?

What do you guys suggest? I was planning on driving down to london to see family once per month but even I think that's ambitious. Moving somewhere in the middle eg midlands is not an option

OP posts:

Dairymilk50 · 11/04/2022 10:15

Love Manchester City centre. I agree with train links you can get an under 30s railway discount card and others. You can book advance tickets and so on.

The train fare from the North to London would be the least of my worries. Long term if you want to start a family could you afford to buy and live in London? There's a huge difference between travelling round Manchester for the weekend and London.

Vote for Manc no questions OP. Good luck!


Dairymilk50 · 11/04/2022 10:17

Ohhh and about parents helping with childcare (either side of the family). I wouldn't rely on that make sure you have your own plans in place.

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