London Commuter Towns - Excellent Secondary School

[Bezdomni]

I’m sorry for a very inclusive thread, but I need the wisdom and experience of other blackmumsnetters. I’m in a v fortunate position and thinking about leaving London for somewhere greener, however secondary school may be the deal breaker.

Does anyone have any advice/ experience about commuter towns with good state schools or private schools which are strong on pastoral/inclusion/anti racism?

We have around £1.2m (could maybe go to £1.5m) to help relocate but working out what to do about secondary school where DC will be happy and thrive is a major factor. My DC is v bright, academic (dyslexic) but I don’t like the hothouse or strict environments in some of the high achieving London schools.

I thought about Essex to have the option around the grammars and because of really lovely villages near where I grew up. But then I read a shocking review of Colchester Grammar who Ofsted have downgraded despite excellent exam results because of horrific racism/misogyny.

I’d prefer to be in the country to be closer to nature, families and to get more space. But I’m getting resigned a bit to staying in London and probably using the north London privates (maybe Northbridge House?) as the more relaxed good state schools that would work best for DC have tiny catchment areas.

Any experiences anyone can share? Nothing is ever simple.

I attended DAO (a long time ago now!!!) and it is very competitive, and the catchment area is tiny. It’s hugely oversubscribed & highly selective; seems a gamble to me to move on the basis that you would definitely get a place.. when I was there kids spent years preparing to get in. Other local schools aren’t great; a few are dire. If you didn’t get a place at DAO through exam or through catchment you’d probably want to consider private. xo

@sjxoxo absolutely!

Totally bonkers -no matter how talented the child; and no matter if you are inclined to tutor them from babyhood ; you really can’t rely on these things and I find it really unhealthy when people get sucked into it. But you’ll see from my earlier rambling I’ve got lots of empathy for all parents - we’re all just trying to do our best and the way things are set up makes that hard.

This is becoming my thread for things you can’t say in real life!

Nower Hill is in quite a racist area, so no surprise the school being a state school on catchment is also quite racist.

That side of Pinner, and I think families that send their children to that school, are quite pretentiously middle class. This means they can be quite scathing to anything that might look like it isn't and black skin tends to have that effect on people whether we are middle class or not.

I think the primary schools the children tend to come from are pretty racist, too. I don't think there are many black people in that part of Harrow / Hillingdon. It's very aspirational South Asian, mainly, and I find that community can be racist against black people, too. Not all, of course, but racism against black people exists everywhere, it's seeped in even where it shouldn't be and doesn't seem to make sense. harrow police are also a disaster, but aren't they everywhere.

I've not seen Nower Hill make moves to address the racism that is there, so I wouldn't;t send my children there.

Also, moving is expensive. Stamp duty on a £1.5m house is so silly, you might as well pay for private! I'm not saying money is your sticking point. It's just swapping one home for another that is very similar will cost so much, money the can likely be spent better elsewhere.

I think you will be wily and work things out so that it's good for your family where you are in north.

@Bezdomni I can’t really help on the inclusion aspect as it was so long ago I was there- I will be honest & say I’m sure the demographic is different to an inner city school; but I didn’t feel it was racist etc. These issues were not in the spotlight then like they are now but there was a mix of ethnicities/religions amongst pupils although similar demographic. Yes SEN pupils were non existent.. in hindsight I can’t think of one from my year group but I wasn’t paying much attention either. Obvious really when there’s an entrance exam & minute catchment area. I also think they do try to exclude problem pupils if they think you won’t make the grades in yr 10/11. I know several whose parents fought to keep them at school. Obviously lots of tutoring goes on for university admissions beyond yr11. My parents lived less than half a mile away from the school (walkable 5 mins) and I did the exam as we were not close enough for catchment!! x

@Bezdomni what I mean by the catchment area is that you need to literally be on the doorstep- if you are in a year group where there’s a high sibling intake it’s near impossible as they reduce the catchment; so you have all eggs in the exam basket. I would say the only safe catchment is the ten houses next to the school honestly 🤣

@Jamdown123 Ah I totally understand: it’s exactly the stuff that if you know you know. I really appreciate all your comments and good luck.

And yes. Wily. Gotta be.

Just read the DAO thread.

Wouldn't catch me typing the name into an internet search now, let alone send my children there.

Disgraceful. Ofsted need to downgrade them for their non-response. 'N word can be used in historical context'. No, it can't.

Perhaps we need a secondary school thread on here, I could use it.

@Bezdomni North Bridge Canonbury was set up as a 14 - 19 year old (Yrs 9 - 13) school, aiming to attract a 13+ cohort, particularly boys. When they failed to get the numbers, they decided to take the younger years, I think they've been taking Yr7s for about four years. As a school it hasn't really bedded in yet. It's a lovely building and nicer outside space than Hampstead, but over the last few years several Canonbury pupils have been mugged / roughed up by pupils from of one of the Highbury state schools.
NBH Hampstead used to be quite boy heavy, but I think it's more even.
The thing to note is they give a lot of detentions - for poor quality homework, missing homework, as well as the usual reasons. For the majority, one or two detentions do the trick. If you have the sort of child who might constantly push against the rules or is demand avoidant, oppositional, or a bit silly, they may find themselves in a lot of detentions.

Thanks again @Soma great insight as always and thanks for sharing.

@Bezdomni what did you do eventually?

Hi @Confusedhousehunter22 we’ve still got a bit of time so haven’t taken any decisions yet. Staying in London, going private (and retiring to the country one day) is probably the default. Still interested in other peoples ideas so stay in touch if you have any more luck with this.

How about South East London? St Dunstans has a good reputation and you could get a lot of house for your money in Forest Hill/Sydenham. Areas are diverse. We will be at a diverse local state school for secondary (happy to pm which one). You might also want to look at Brockley/Telegraph Hill area.