Does anybody else feel awkward in the workplace recently?

[Whatdowehaveherethen]

I'm a civil servant. There's been a lot of talk recently in regards to inclusiveness. Too much in my opinion.

I left my work WhatsApp group a few months ago because my mention of being stopped and questioned by police 3 times within a couple of weeks received replies only from my seniors. They're wonderful.

Any picture of somebody's cat gets a reply from Boris Johnson himself. Ok, I'm exaggerating but do you get where I'm coming from?

Anyway, I decided to leave the group. It was a support group that just wasn't for me.

Moving on, the everyday emails and talks are bothering me. What is there to talk about? In my eyes, it will only add fuel to the fire for any colleague of mine who is a closet racist. This sudden constant concern for minorities makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm tempted to join one of the many meetings arranged so that I can say so.

As one of the few ethnic minorities in my particular department, I don't feel comfortable with all this mention of BLM etc.

Were all adults. I can't see how there is any positive outcome to this? Yes, it's an opportunity for people to speak of their concerns but it's all designed to educate us and I don't think it helps.

As a white person in a similar group I'm finding it very useful to be educated and learn to be anri-racist. I can only imagine but guess it must be tiresome to be constantly reminded of race when you are likely to be aware think of it anyway.

Thank @Toontown and @Tootletum for your replies. For me it it very tiresome and if anything, I feel more set apart from my colleagues.

I completely understand those that are passionate about the movement. It's even brought a year to my eye when I see previously racists acknowledge their wrongs.

What I don't understand is forcing a way of thinking onto people that will only exacerbate their beliefs. I don't believe my colleagues themselves are racist. I do believe they're not anti-racist in the sense that they don't actively protest against racism.

I find it very awkward during meetings when it's all brought up. I feel like everybody is wondering if I'll come of of mute and say my piece!

I'm honest when I say I find it harder as a minority. That's only because I'm constantly worried about what people think of me.

Why was you stopped and searched 3 times? And I’m surprised you bought it up in a work WhatsApp Group, what was the context?

Maybe your colleagues were embarrassed? Didn’t want to discuss further as they may be thinking not smoke without fire’.

In the CS any rights groups are normally opt in, so you can ask to be removed from the ‘constant’ emails floating about. What are the emails and meetings about anyhow? What is the content? I’m not seeing any constant CS wide race equality emails? Or do you work for a specialist department dealing with societal inequalities? i.e the Equalities Dept which deals with... well Ronseal applies.

How do you feel about the pride movement? Do you think that it might make some of your gay colleagues feel uncomfortable when gay equality issues are bought to the forefront?

Do you think companies should stay quiet about BLM (the movement, not necessarily the org), disability rights, female equality etc in the work place?

Not feeling awkward talking but didn't engage with the specifics about how work can support us following the initial furore and only for the reason that I've been here, done that and nothing has changed. But, have engaged since as I realise/remember that it's a marathon not a sprint and change is incremental. That what has changed is asking allies to also speak up as we need them to raise their bodies and not be silent.

But I also do that from the basis that I'm not a minority in these discussions and that my team, colleagues and seniors are supportive and that the naysayers are in the minority here if they ever dare voice their opinions.

Saying that, can understand how being looked at as one of only few that can give an opinion is tiring and not always what people wanr when they're not in that place. I hope you can find a way around this issue that keeps you centred. Please talk to the EAP teams if you can.

Voices is what I meant.. well I think I did.

I know what you mean, OP. I am white but disabled and I find the discussion around inclusiveness rather grating. Probably not helped by the fact that it's mostly focussed on "neuro diversity" which imo is very different to a physical disability for all and sundry to observe.

Anyway. I think it's a tricky line to walk unless you're an "affected group" yourself, and even then, it's not like everyone thinks the same way.

If you're feeling up to it, you could bring up broader issues and matters beyond the BLM protests, perhaps suggest practical endeavours such as mentoring or something?

I'm white so I don't really know, but I have to say I think you are right about adding a lot of fuel to the fire. BLM seems to justify pretty awful criminal damage and I couldn't really believe the story about them going to the hospital where some police officers had been shot and hoped they would die??! Was that right wing BS? Anyway I find it weird that apparently now you can only think the "right" thoughts of you're a hard left communist. Most of my black friends are more interested in law & order (ideally not the type that stops them for driving a nice car while black) than in a lot of really aggressive competition between various anarchists about who's the best anti racist! What I really don't understand is critical race theory, which kinda sounds a bit racist to me. Maybe the wiki entry is just full of crap. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_race_theory

It's lovely some people are being educated at work instead of thinking outside the box and educating themselves in everyday life with everyday scenarios. if everyone did this, the problems would not exist in the workplace. the very same people in the workplace are the ones who make changes in the board rooms.

some of the replies really pissed me off and I am sorry OP that you had to put up with some of the comments.

@Phoenix21 Maybe your colleagues were embarrassed? Didn’t want to discuss further as they may be thinking not smoke without fire’.

.................... do you care to elaborate because your post is giving me a bad feeling.

@Tootletum you should start a thread about that then. I didn't think you understood the OP.

Moving on, the everyday emails and talks are bothering me. What is there to talk about? In my eyes, it will only add fuel to the fire for any colleague of mine who is a closet racist. This sudden constant concern for minorities makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm tempted to join one of the many meetings arranged so that I can say so.

I gave up on work equality bs in regards to race. it became a sport on who can show they are the least racist. Being in a meeting and having the conversation turned to 'what is happening to their community' when three black people are sitting in the office meeting was an eye-opener for me. At that moment, someone I thought of as not racist or not exhibiting racism shocked me. The 3 black people in the same you and the office is the bloody community. (for anyone who didn't understand the problem)

BLM seems to justify pretty awful criminal damage

You came onto the black board to advocate for property over black people and to complain that calling out systemic and institutional racism is racist and dumb?

This feels right to you?

Can't you go to the main board and complain about anarchists there? I'm sure you will be warmly welcomed with those with similar thoughts to you

WTAF?

A few months ago, during the height of the BLM protests, my company went full throttle on diversity and inclusion. Lots of surveys were sent out and meetings held about this. I was a bit sceptical about their motives, i.e. being seen to be inclusive may have been the main concern, but whatever, it couldn’t hurt right?

What I didn’t like was the spotlight it put on me and the few other black people in the company. Like we were the spokespeople for all black people around the world. I get awkwardness you felt OP.

I feel for you OP. It's hard to get things right especially when it's all over WhatsApp etc.
Once we're not all working from home etc I think some face to face sessions can be very powerful and the emotion and true story behind issues can be portrayed .
I'm white and female and work in an extremely male dominated environment - some of that company's attempts to even things such as gender pay gap have caused ill feeling, even though they all have come from a good place.
However, we had a schedule of key note speakers before lock down and that really helped people to understand a bit more- some people will never want to.
Maybe take a break and protect yourself for now and then when COVID dies down maybe your work could arrange something a bit more powerful than a whattsapp group. Good luck

Why were you messaging about being stopped and searched in a general chat group (guessing if it's all about cats otherwise)? I don't understand

@ThinSlicePizza, it seems like an over share in this instance - I did ask the OP in what context did this come up.

If someone in my work WhatsApp group suddenly announced that they had been S&S during a conversation on forecasts, I probably wouldn’t respond to it as Id assume it had been posted in the wrong place.

As many people go by the ‘nothing to hide so why complain’ line, people may not have responded because they are thinking of the OP ‘no smoke without fire’.

People commonly think this about S&S. look at the athlete earlier this year, it was probably the usual response on twitter.

@ThinSlicePizza why did my post give you a bad feeling?

Ah - I’ve PM you.

I'm having a "Did that just happen" moment.

Meanwhile, back in the workplace....
Workplaces are for work, don't overshare your private life with colleagues, it never ends well.

As for training sessions in the Civil Service making you uncomfortable OP, there is an excellent trades union there, with a section for staff who are black. You might want to talk this through what has been happening with you, with your local representative.
www.pcs.org.uk/pcs-in-hm-revenue-and-customs-group/equality/black-members-0

Ah, that link was for HMRC but you get the idea, there will be one for your own part of the Civil Service OP.

I think I understand how you feel OP. I am the only Black person in a team of over 100 people. In London, where I am based, our office is in an extremely diverse area and yet virtually every team member is White, Middle Class and Home Counties. During the focus on BLM our company produced the standard "we are committed to standing with our Black employees" statements and posted a black square on their social media channel. So helpful. There was a sudden laser focus on inclusion with calls, workshops etc and everyone seemed to be looking to the few Black employees to educate, provide resources and even a shoulder to cry on when some White employees decided to make it all about them and wept during org wide calls about racism.

Personally I refused to engage with my White colleagues on the subject or 'educate' them on racism. How you can you reach 30 or 40 years of age and need educating on the basics something so important? There are roughly a handful who I feel genuinely care about inclusion and equity. They are the ones who took the trouble to educate themselves and would talk to me about their own insights, books they'd read etc. The rest do not care. At all. That includes my managers who hilariously asked me if I would sit on a team panel they were putting together to talk to my colleagues about experiences of racism. I asked who else would be on the panel and they said ah yes, it's awkward since you are the only person we can ask so it will be a panel of one

My office is currently closed with all employees given the option to work from home for another year and I am so, so glad to be free from the mental fatigue of dealing with my 'team'.

@Giningit @Eastie77 that sounds tough, a few of my friends have reported this kind of behaviour. I black but my workplace is fairly progressive.
I’ve been the only black girl when I was younger and I remember how that felt.

You are not representative of every black person or responsible for educating others. As I’ve said elsewhere, no other minority group is regularly asked to inform and educate others (then questioned if they do 🙄).

IMO pro active companies should be offering unconscious bias training (it taught me a lot about my own bias), anonymous applicant short listing, mentoring, empowerment groups (thoughtful, not just a tick box exercise).

It must be exhausting.

I'm black

Having said the above, I do believe that there needs to be discussion on inclusiveness but many companies are:

1. Putting the responsibility/burden on black staff
2. Chucking black staff a bone* and not thinking about wider issues such as how to support and develop black staff.

A well known company in response McPherson/Institutionalised racism dialogue decided to bring in black caterers to the staff canteen a day a week.
That was it. Jerk chicken on a Thur - inclusivity box ticked

Where I work we have unconscious bias online training (developed by Pearn-Kandola IIRC) but I am increasingly feeling over the past 4 years or so that we now need CONSCIOUS BIAS training (for Racism, plus sexism, ageism, disabilism, classism) but will it ever reach the hard-core haters who see any change in the status quo as taking "their due entitlement" away from them?

@Phoenix21 It was tough, especially as I was going through a difficult time following the death of a close family member and didn’t have the headspace to deal with that on top of it.

The Jerk on a Thursday did me laugh !

I can’t believe people are saying the op was ‘oversharing’ for posting that she’d been subjected to stop-and-search 3 times. I’ve never had a stop and search in my life. And if it did ever happen, there’s no way I’d be worrying about ‘no smoke without fire’ thinking. Such is the privilege that comes with being a white middle class woman. If you think that BAME shouldn’t talk about these things in the workplace, then you really need to look at bias.