July 2017 #6 - labour here we come

[nat2311]

I think this is how you make one?

There are so many old wives tale about pregnancy and babies, aren't there? I'm fed up of being told I'm having a boy because I carry at the front and a girl because I've been so sick. There are a lot of mums on my hyperemesis thread who are having boys so it's clearly not true.

I'll keep an eye out for the dropping. Thanks for explaining. DS engaged at 32 weeks and didn't arrive until 39. I don't remember any dropping though, just his bum and legs being lodged under my ribs.

Yes to the in-laws getting in a flap @glitterglitters - since my SIL gave birth yesterday and made my MIL a grandmother for the first time, I think she and my other 3 SILs are even more determined to come to London for Baby Z's birth. She's sending whatsapp voice notes every hour or so, asking if there's any sign of labour and if they should book their flights yet, and she's set her profile picture as a photo of me when I was a baby 😅

They're also devastated about the situation with DH being called to the military so I think they want me to know they will be here for me, even if he can't be, which is really sweet of them.

Sooo many old wives tales!
I was sick daily with ds1 but hardly sick at all with this one after 20odd weeks and its a girl. Total pot luck.
He didnt start engaging until after 39 weeks and yet shes been head down since about 35. Yet apparently second babies are often more last minute.

No crazy relatives although they all think im due 29th July and not the 16th haha

I went to Westfield today and ticked some more of the monotonous things off my baby shopping list (like nappies, water wipes, metanium, nursing bras, maternity pads etc...) - in fact I'm finally almost done!

Just a couple of questions for you oh wise ones:

• I'm planning to EBF but I want to express, but not sure which set to go with. This Tommie Tippee one looks pretty comprehensive; has anyone else gone for Tommie Tippee? Is it a good brand or just a name? Also, is a manual or electric pump preferable?

www.mothercare.com/sets/tommee-tippee-closer-to-nature-ultimate-breast-and-bottle-set/966826.html

• Do I need a nursing chair? Is it an essential or a luxury? Any recommendations re: style/brand of nursing chair?

Thanks in advance ☺️

We have Tommee Tippee. I was recommended to buy an electric pump last time as it's less tiring so we got their starter set of bottles, steriliser etc (the set we got is about half the price of the one you've linked to) and their electric breast pump. I ended up just bottle feeding in the end so the pump never got used (hoping it still works) but we've bought Tommee Tippee bottles again.

Haven't bought a nursing bra yet and I can't offer any other advice so I will await the other replies to learn more myself.

@ButterflyFree someone recommended nuk to me and I got this starter set. I think Argos had the best price.
www.argos.co.uk/product/5444070?rec=webRespPDP:6863973:alt:CWVTPUBOOT:5444070
It includes a manual breast pump and mini steriliser which I thought would be enough to start with. I didn't want to buy an electric pump until I know breastfeeding is going ok but everyone has recommended the mandala swing so I'll prob get that. If for any reason I can't BF then I'll get a proper bottle steriliser.

Oh and congrats on the babies so far everyone! Had a terrible nights sleep so not really with it!

Have a sweep booked today at 39+2 to try to get things moving before induction day after due date. Not looking forward to it!

@butterflyfree I used the tomme tippe closer to nature electric breast pump last time and i've bought it again to use this time (in my ultimate wisdom i sonld everything from baby 1). It was a set that came with the sterilising tub and stuff. I only ever sterilised with the tub and miltons tablets. Seemed the easiest to me, because the stuff could stay in the water until being used and the water lasts 24hours. Unlike a microwave or steam steriliser where once it's opened (to take something out) everything is then unsterile again.
I'd recommend milk bags for storing milk. they lie flat in the freezer so take up very little room and it's really quick to defrost them when needed under warm water.
I used different brands last time and didn't have any leaks.
I'm hoping to donate my milk this time if I have a good supply again.
I was thinking about buying a manual pump but not sure i'll bother. I can always hand express to relieve tension and the electric one was far easier.

With regards to pumping I've got a basic tommee tippee manual pump. I've got the microwave steriliser as well.

Also, with breast milk, you don't actually need to sterilise. The reasons for sterilising is usually to kill off any bacteria in formula powder. Hot, soapy water should suffice. 

Also a good kit is Mam bottles. These you can actually sterilise in the microwave by themselves as well. So great for travelling and if you want to use them for both without the need for a bulky steriliser.

I've just bought a manual pump based on dc1 being a bottle refuser. The pump is mainly for pumping a bit off during engorgement (as they can struggle to latch when they're too full) and also to give a little bit of expressed milk once a day to see if I can get this one not to refuse.

I'd personally, not bother with an electric until bf is established, or exclusively pumping or if you're planning on returning to work. However it is great for building a stash up.

Medela swing is good and I used the ameda
Lactaline last time which is a closed system so you can buy it second hand. I also sacrificed an old bra so I could shove the flanges through and, voila! Hands free pumping.

Check out the Hakka for something quite lo-tec. You may find when you feed for the first few weeks/months both your breasts leak. This saves any excess milk from being wasted.

Also very relieved about the huge amount of extra involved relatives. I bet we'll end
Up just as bad one day hahaha!

They do definitely come in useful.

@mynameisntLinda genius. Wish I'd done that now!

@ButterflyFree your mil and sil's sound lovely! The photo thing made me giggle!

Oooh also with bras. I bought some soft nursing bras from H&M and then got measured at a small boutique when my supply had settled at around 10'weeks.

Just be forewarned, getting measured can be a nightmare.

I was a 34H last time. M&S told me I was a 40D and Mothercare 42C.

They've all got different ways of measuring as well.

Teething and poorly babies can effect it as well as they will change supply to babies needs accordingly. So there's no hard or fast rules about sizing staying the same but it's usually negligible compared to bra size.

I've got a Medela swing double that I need to dig out and see if it still works. That's probably overkill for most - I was pumping every 2-3 hours from day 3 last time so it was a bit of an emergency purchase! It came in useful when I went back to work though (I was pumping three times a day).

Oh yeah, and one of my old maternity bras was sacrificed to the cause!

My fried Recomended I hire a hospital grade pump as they work faster. I need to look up how to get them but that is what I am planning on doing. Planning to split the feeds with DH for bonding and sanity!

Once I find the details I will share.

I used a hospital grade pump in hospital, and hired one for a few days before my Swing arrived. In general, they are more powerful, but the real difference is that they are closed systems so they can be properly cleaned between women. They are generally mains powered and very bulky. My Swing has a belt clip and, OK, you look completely ridiculous walking around with two bottles attached to your boobs with an old bra... but walking around is possible. (just don't bend over - crying over spilt milk is definitely a thing).

If you need a hospital-grade pump to to build supply because you are having problems that is one thing, but personally I wouldn't get one just to share feeding / for going back to work.

@mawita I wouldn't get a hospital grade pump just for expressing to share feeds. a normal electric shop bought one would be plenty unless you find you have actual low supply issues (which apparently only happens to less than 3% of women, it's usually just misinformation that makes people think they don't have enough milk).
If you want to share feeds then it's best to pump whilst baby is having a bottle so that your body still thinks baby is feeding on demand.
best time to pump is the early morning when hormones are at their highest (although it's also the time you'll most likely want to sleep)
don't be suprised if baby refusses a bottle when you're around. they know that you're there. it's like a bloody sixth sense. DS never wanted a bottle form me but would have one with mil or dh when I wasn't there.

Like glitters says breast milk is already sterile. I just used to put my pump in the fridge with a food bag over it after using and sterilise it after a few uses to freshen up. I was a bit lax with sterilising but figured if the dog licked him she wasn't sterile either lol.. and at 2 and a half he's only ever been ill twice so can't have done him any harm.

re bras I would defo join the boob or bust facebook page! they are fantastic at helping with sizing and I would never ever trust M&S to measure me. ... which reminds me, i don't have a single nursing bra yet! my last ones went in the bin and would be too small anyway. I went from a 32D/DD to a 32G and i'm currently about a 32/34 G but i'm not sure how much they'll actually change so i'll wait and go to my local independent shop for measuring once i'm 6 weeks in to feeding. can make do with the bras I have for now as I can pull the cup down to expose boobage lol

Another vote for boob or bust here.

myname I think the 3% is the number who have medical reasons for low supply. There are plenty more for whom supply is an issue for various other reasons - e.g. tongue tie / inefficient transfer, "man-made" reasons. I had to supplement from day 3 after 13% weight loss (probably following on from pethidine in labour and poor advice re waking to feed etc). Once you start on that track, you need to pump to boost supply.

Anybody else getting hot flashes? I had them post birth last time but I'm getting them every few hours now.

It's not very ladylike

Agree with @Spindelina on the hospital grade pump- it's really not necessary unless there are other issues. That being said I used the Medela hospital grade one when I was still in hospital and it was the business!

I used a Medela swing last time and found it good...but pumping in general is a complete pain in the arse if you ask me...! I've a manual Medela that I'll use this time if I'm stuck/need to relieve boobs for whatever reason but if I'm away from baby this time I'm going to give formula. I had fortnightly physio appointments after DS and I half killed myself pumping each morning for the 2.5 hours I was going to be away from him. I'd start pumping on a Monday morning for a Friday afternoon appointment, getting about 30ml each session. My milk was so finely tuned to DS's needs that only a small bit came out each time.

Probably not a popular perspective but my two cents!

No hot flashes but I don't relish the post party's night sweats...ugh they're awful!

@Notyetthere I found I was v sore on Day 4 and on and off for a long quite a while. I would pump to give my boobs a break from time to time. I ended up with mastitis over Christmas (nasty) but I fed through it (as is the advice) and I never had any issues after that.

*post partum, not party!

Oh wow, thank you for all the advice ladies! Seems like the Medela Swing or Tommee Tippee both got a fair few recommendations so I'll check out both and go from there.

I just got some basic comfy nursing bras from M&S yesterday (nothing too structural) but I'm fully expecting to have to get measured again once my milk comes in, so that's fine.

My sleeping pattern is completely topsy turvy and little one isn't even here yet! Slept at 5am and woke up 12:45 😩

I've been recommended tommee tippee and have bought one set of bottles and a manual pump. It's first time for me so will see how it goes. I'm hoping to bf but have promised myself that I'm not gonna stress myself if it doesn't work for us.

Hot flushes are flowing with me too! Just made it round Tesco without a complete meltdown but it did require a pitstop in McDonald's on the way home 😂

@spindelina yes thats what i meant. Maybe not articulated well. Ive known a few women who believe that they "have no milk" or "dont make enough milk" or "baby was too hungry" that reluctantly switch to formula when really its just that their expectations of how often a baby should feed are skewed or people advise topping up with formula which then results in low supply.
Not that theres anything wrong with combi feeding (or bottle feeding) its just sad when the misinformation, often from well meaning family memebers, results in an end to breastfeeding.
My nan told me numerous times that i musnt make enough milk because my baby always wanted to feed, or that i should gjve a bottle because my boobs werent making enough milk because they should be full.
She cant believe that my 2 year old still has boob in a morning because i cant possibly still be making milk she is of the camp that think a baby shoukd be fed every 4 hours and any crying and attention outside of that time frame makes them soft.

I've seen and heard a lot similar to you @mynameisntLinda

I was always very surprised at the limited amount of knowledge my local hv clinic had as well in comparison to the bfn group I attended.

I've found It really is the luck of the draw on the knowledge you are able to access and the type of information you receive. Also the support network you have is a huge factor.

I was very, very lucky that one of my best friends is a peer supporter for the BFN and all my family and my husbands family breastfed their children till at least 2.

Also I think being at a midwife led unit helped me as they didn't check any bloods or do any tests etc before we were discharged. All my friends who went to the "big hospital" were told this was wrong, that was wrong, top ups were essential and given some inconsistent advice. If that had been me I would have switched pretty much immediately if I'm honest.

Even my friend who is a nurse was completely befuddled by the whole experience and was given conflicting advice from several sources.

It's not an easy thing to do, whether it goes to plan or not, and each comes with its own sets of pros and cons. It's ultimately down to your own experience and needs and important that you own that decision and not feel any guilt. At the end of the day you'd only be making that decision for the benefit of your children. Nobody can question that

Having a baby in general is bloody hard work in general anyway without all the other stuff.

@nat2311 that's the view I had. I'd give it a try but wasn't going to beat myself up over it.

Dh is very keen for this one to receive "the same" as dd but different babies have different things and I'm fully prepared for all eventualities. Also it's my body and if I don't want to do it nobody can make that decision bar from me.

For me It's just about taking it one feed at a time and building a support network. My online groups were invaluable to me as well as my irl network.

Groups on Facebook Like Breastfeeding Yummy Mummies and The Breastfeeding Network were great. Happy to send links to anybody who wants them as well.

I wouldn't mind a bit of freedom this time though. I used to envy my friends who ff would be out with their partners for date nights and all sorts but it did eventually even out (...and then I immediately found out I was pregnant hahah!)

So ill get off my soap box now and I'm happy to answer any questions anybody has. I'm not peer trained but I spent many many hours of the night trawling the web for the silliest of questions with my first.