mummy, how will the baby get out of your tummy?

[EllieK]

hi all
i am pg and have a little boy just turned 3
not due til April but have already mastered the 'mummy is having a baby' one with him, thanks to the help of the book 'There's a house inside my mummy'.
Yesterday we were talking about my bump getting bigger and he asked my how will it get out. I fumbled an explanation of 'somewhere near my bottom' and he looked petrified!
Anyone have helpful suggestions on how I could tackle this better?

That's pretty much what I told mine. He was fascinated, he thought it was miraculous. Which it is

DS1 was too young to know when DS2 was born (DS1 now 3) but good friends have been pg (as I am now but too early to show) so he knows about babies in tummies. I was with one very pregnant friend on her due date a week ago and ds1 put his hand on her tummy and said "is there a baby in there? can it come out and play? can you find the key?" For some reason, DS1 thinks that you put a key in your belly button and the baby comes out. If only it were that easy!!!!

I think fudging it is the wrong thing to do tbh. I said something like - the baby will come out through a special tunnel (not sure that tunnel was quite the right word but anyway), called a vagina and it can stretch a long way to help the baby get out.
and that sometimes babies come out through a cut in your tummy.
and that a lady called a midwife helps you.

DD has known for ages, definitely before 3yo. I went with something similat to what Cod has said. She has also seen births on TV - those Discovery Health type programmes. She finds it fascinating. She hasn't yet, at 4y6m, asked for technicalities of how it gets in there yet though - knows mummy and daddy makes the baby and it involves a special egg and seed, but not asked for more.

Oh yes, harpsi - DD also knows about the cutting out of tummy bit too - she was born my c section. She finds it all fascinating.

She often comments as we drive by the hospital where she was born, and finds it really interesting that a friend's baby was born at home as the baby came too fast to get to hospital.

Ds asked me this a long time after dd was born:

THere's a special opening for the baby to come out of.
Where?
Between Mummy's fanjo and her bottom. (Obviously I didn't use the word fanjo, but our family word for it.)
Can you show me?
No (with a big smile)
Oh, of course - that's because fanjo's are private, isn't it?
Yes, clever boy.

I didn't need to have this discussion with dd this time around, as ds had already told her!

As for the pain, I compared it to how ds's leg ached when he started scooting to school and over-did it, telling them that my tummy muscles would have to work very hard to push the baby out, and it would make my tummy ache a lot, and I would be very tired afterwards.

No mention of pain or blood.

EllieK there's a brilliant book called 'Mummy Laid an egg' by Babette Cole and another called 'The world is full of babies'by Mick Manning and Brita Grandstrom. To your 3 year old they'll just be funny and interesting bedtime stories - but they'll tell him all he needs to know.
The trick is always answer their questions truthfully but without telling them more than they need to know.
Mine are 11 & 12 and they are happy to ask about 'embarrassing' things because they know they'll get a truthful answer they can rely on - they pick up so many funny ideas from the playground that I'm pleased they feel confident to check them out with me.
If it gets too personal - eg how often do dh and i have sex - I just tell them 'that's private'.

Oh - nearly forgot - I told them that they came out of my tummy via my bottom, which they thought was really funny! I told them there's a special opening between my wee hole and my poo hole and it opens up when the baby is being pushed out, which I explained was a bit like doing a giant poo except you got a lovely baby afterwards. Later I told them how the same hole is used for the sperm to get to the egg. When ds2 was 7 he asked why his willy went stiff sometimes, so we had a conversation about when he was older it would need to be able to do that if he wanted to make a baby with a lady - otherwise it would just bend over when he tried to put it in the special hole and the seeds wouldn't be able to get out.
He found that amusing but could immediately understand what I was telling him.
Children need to be given sufficient information without embarrassment. as soon as you start saying things like 'I'll tell you when you're older' you're making it a taboo subject and it'll seem like a secret that they can't share with you.

thank you so much for your help everyone, i've always wanted to aim for honesty, hate to think that ds would ever worry about asking me anything. am off to investigate those books and plan the answer for next time he asks!!!!

Wow fortyplus that is honest! I thought I was doing well with the whole 'mummies have a special hole for babies to come out of' conversation. I think your right to be honest but I think in reality I'm more likely to fudge more specific issues for a while. My head tells me it's propably right, but somehow it just doesn't 'feel' right, and I think if no actual fabrications told no real harm done.

Yes - definitely no made up stories. The 'Mummy Laid an Egg' book pokes fun at that, too!
Don't forget that by the time they're in year 5 they will be told EVERYTHING including wet dreams! That was more or less the only thing that was totally new to my boys when they did sex education at school. The boys were told all about periods and were shown a video of a baby being born. I think that would come as quite a shock if your parents hadn't told you about it already.